"Stick Figures": How a Mentor's Gratitude Became a Memoir

In this post, we delve into the compelling story behind Dennis Quinn's memoir, "Stick Figures," a poignant exploration of mentorship, mental illness, and the transformative power of gratitude. Discover how simple calendar drawings evolved into a powerful tribute to his 13-year mentoring relationship with Mike through Big Brothers Big Sisters. We'll examine the therapeutic power of writing, the importance of inclusion, and how gratitude can transform challenging experiences into meaningful stories. If you enjoyed the discussion on my recent podcast, Dennis “D.J.” Quinn: Big Brother Lessons, Loss & Love, this blog post will expand on those themes and provide a deeper look into the heart of Dennis's remarkable journey.

The Unexpected Power of 'Stick Figures'

“Stick Figures” is more than just a memoir; it's a testament to the profound impact that one person can have on another's life. Dennis Quinn, through his simple yet evocative stick figure drawings, captured the essence of his relationship with Mike, a young boy he mentored through Big Brothers Big Sisters. These drawings, initially created to document their experiences, evolved into a powerful narrative that explores the complexities of mental illness, the challenges of the foster care system, and the enduring strength of the human spirit.

The book's genesis was unexpected. What started as a personal exercise in gratitude transformed into a published work that resonates with readers on a deeply emotional level. The stick figures themselves, while simple in form, convey a remarkable range of emotions and experiences, from joyful outings to heartbreaking hospital visits. They serve as a visual reminder of the bond between Dennis and Mike, and the challenges they faced together.

Dennis Quinn's Montana Roots and Global Perspective

Dennis's background played a significant role in shaping his perspective and approach to mentoring. Growing up in Montana, he was instilled with strong family values, a deep sense of community, and a faith that guided his actions. These values formed the foundation upon which he built his relationship with Mike.

His 26 years as a flight attendant for Northwest Airlines further broadened his horizons, exposing him to diverse cultures and ways of life. This experience instilled in him a sense of empathy and understanding, allowing him to connect with people from all walks of life. It also provided him with a unique perspective on the challenges faced by vulnerable populations, which ultimately led him to volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

The Beginning of a Mentoring Journey: Big Brothers Big Sisters

Big Brothers Big Sisters is an organization that matches adult volunteers ("Bigs") with children ("Littles") who need positive role models in their lives. Dennis's decision to become a Big Brother was driven by a desire to make a difference in the life of a child. He understood the importance of providing guidance, support, and friendship to young people who may be lacking these things in their own lives.

His first match through Big Brothers Big Sisters was a formative experience, teaching him the true meaning of mentorship. He learned that it wasn't about grand gestures or extravagant activities, but rather about consistently showing up and being present in a child's life. This realization would prove invaluable as he embarked on his journey with Mike.

Meeting Mike: A Bond Forged Through Challenges

Dennis met Mike, a foster-adopted child, through Big Brothers Big Sisters. From the outset, their connection was evident. Mike was a bright, energetic boy with a zest for life, but he also faced significant challenges due to his circumstances. As their relationship deepened, Dennis became a constant presence in Mike's life, offering support, encouragement, and a sense of stability.

Their bond was forged through shared experiences, both big and small. They went on outings to Disneyland, attended sporting events, and simply spent time together talking and laughing. Dennis provided Mike with a safe space to express his feelings and navigate the complexities of his life. He became a trusted confidant, a mentor, and a friend.

Navigating Mental Illness: The Ministry of Presence

As Mike grew older, he began to struggle with severe mental illness. This presented new and unforeseen challenges for both him and Dennis. The onset of Mike's mental illness was a difficult and confusing time. Dennis witnessed firsthand the devastating effects of the illness on Mike's life, and he struggled to find ways to help.

During this period, Dennis learned the importance of what he calls the "ministry of presence." He realized that simply being there for Mike, even when he couldn't offer solutions or make the pain go away, was incredibly valuable. He visited Mike in the hospital, listened to his concerns, and offered unwavering support. He learned to navigate the complexities of the mental health system, advocating for Mike's needs and ensuring that he received the best possible care.

However, Dennis also recognized the importance of setting boundaries. He understood that he couldn't fix Mike's problems, and that he needed to protect his own mental and emotional well-being. This balance between support and self-care was crucial in navigating the challenges of Mike's mental illness.

From Calendar Drawings to Memoir: The Creation of 'Stick Figures'

The idea for "Stick Figures" emerged from Dennis's practice of drawing stick figures in his calendar to document his activities with Mike. These drawings, initially intended as a personal record, gradually evolved into a visual narrative of their relationship.

As Dennis looked back on these drawings, he realized that they told a powerful story. He began to write accompanying text, adding context and emotion to the simple images. The result was a unique and moving memoir that captures the essence of their journey together. The process of writing "Stick Figures" was therapeutic for Dennis, allowing him to process his experiences and honor the memory of his friendship with Mike.

The Impact of Inclusion: A BBBS Policy Change

Dennis's experience with Mike led to a significant policy change within the local Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. Recognizing the importance of including children with mental illness in mentoring programs, Dennis advocated for a more inclusive approach. This policy change ensured that children like Mike would have the opportunity to benefit from the support and guidance of a mentor.

This policy change underscores the importance of challenging preconceived notions and creating opportunities for all children, regardless of their circumstances. It serves as a reminder that even small changes can have a profound impact on the lives of vulnerable youth.

Recovery Work: Offering Hope to Incarcerated Teens

Beyond his work with Big Brothers Big Sisters, Dennis has also dedicated his time to bringing recovery meetings into juvenile detention centers. This work stems from his belief that everyone deserves a chance at redemption and that even the most troubled youth can find a path to recovery.

By sharing his own experiences and offering support to incarcerated teens, Dennis provides them with hope and resources. He helps them understand that they are not alone and that recovery is possible. This work is challenging but incredibly rewarding, as Dennis witnesses the transformation in the lives of these young people.

Gratitude and Lessons Learned: Mike's Enduring Impact

Throughout his mentoring journey with Mike, Dennis learned invaluable lessons about life, love, and the power of human connection. He discovered the importance of gratitude, even in the face of adversity. He learned that true friendship transcends circumstances and that even the smallest acts of kindness can have a profound impact.

Mike's enduring impact on Dennis's life is evident in the way he speaks about their relationship. He acknowledges the challenges they faced but focuses on the positive aspects of their bond. He is grateful for the lessons he learned from Mike and for the opportunity to have made a difference in his life.

How to Get Involved in Mentoring

Inspired by Dennis's story? There are many ways to get involved in mentoring and make a positive impact on the life of a child. Organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters and Boys & Girls Clubs offer opportunities to volunteer your time and become a mentor to a young person in need. Even a few hours a week can make a significant difference.

Mentoring is not just about helping the child; it's also about personal growth and enrichment. Mentors often find that they learn just as much from their mentees as they give. It's an opportunity to develop new skills, broaden your perspective, and connect with your community.

The Lasting Value of Mentorship and Gratitude

The story of Dennis Quinn and Mike is a powerful reminder of the lasting value of mentorship and gratitude. It demonstrates the transformative impact that one person can have on another's life and the importance of showing up, being present, and offering support to those in need.

By sharing his story through "Stick Figures," Dennis has inspired countless individuals to consider becoming mentors and to appreciate the power of human connection. His journey is a testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit and the importance of gratitude in navigating the challenges of life.

In conclusion, Dennis Quinn's "Stick Figures" is a testament to the power of human connection and the enduring impact of mentorship. His journey with Mike, filled with both joy and sorrow, highlights the importance of showing up, offering support, and finding gratitude in the face of adversity. This story, as discussed in my podcast episode Dennis “D.J.” Quinn: Big Brother Lessons, Loss & Love, serves as an inspiration to us all to consider how we can make a difference in the lives of others and to appreciate the transformative power of gratitude. Consider how you can get involved in mentoring or find ways to express gratitude in your own life. The impact may be more profound than you imagine.