Dennis “D.J.” Quinn: Big Brother Lessons, Loss & Love

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared a episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios Harford County Living Presence conversations with Rich Bennett. 

No no no, it's who it is. 

Rich Bennett 1:02
I'm joined by Dennis D. J. Quinn, an author, mentor, and recovery advocate who's dedicated decades to transforming lives through compassion and storytelling. D. J.'s journey is as real as it gets. For over 13 years, he mentored Mike, a little brother facing disabilities, fostered youth systems, and eventually, the harrowing challenges of mental illness. D. J. didn't walk away. Instead, he wrote stick figures of brother remembers, and memoirs that honors Mike, shines light on teen mental health, addiction, and the complexity of human love and resilience. Raised in a big family in Montana, D. J. has spent 30 years of weaving humor, insight, and authenticity into his writing from labor union publications to heartfelt memoir. He now lives in gig Harbor, Washington, volunteering writing and sharing the richness of life's untold movements. So get ready for a deeply personal conversation, one that will stretch your understanding of what it means to mentor, to grieve, to honor, and ultimately to grow. How's it going, D. J? You go by D. J. or Dennis? 

Dennis Quinn 2:25
I write by D. J, but it's Dennis, so you 

Rich Bennett 2:27
Okay, 

Dennis Quinn 2:27
can... 

Rich Bennett 2:28
good, because every time I see D. J. I get flashbacks of when I used to D. J. 

Dennis Quinn 2:36
No, I'm doing great. Thank you very much for the nice introduction. I didn't know who you were talking about there for a few minutes. And I want to congratulate you, too, on your 10-year success with this podcast. That's 

Rich Bennett 2:49
Oh, 

Dennis Quinn 2:50
great. 

Rich Bennett 2:50
well, thank 

Dennis Quinn 2:51
you. It's 

Rich Bennett 2:51
you, 

Dennis Quinn 2:52
great 

Rich Bennett 2:52
thank 

Dennis Quinn 2:52
to hear. 

Rich Bennett 2:53
So before we get into your mentoring work and your book, I want to give listeners a sense of who you are and where your journey began. So what, and I hear how beautiful Montana is from other guests I've had on. So what was life like growing up in Montana and how did that shape your perspective on people and communities? 

Dennis Quinn 3:16
My life was really good growing up in Montana. I'm the second oldest of nine kids. And 

Rich Bennett 3:21
nine? 

Dennis Quinn 3:22
Nine. 

Rich Bennett 3:24
Wow! 

Dennis Quinn 3:25
So that allowed me a lot of learning how to manipulate other people 

Rich Bennett 3:30
to 

Dennis Quinn 3:31
and get along with other people because it was a requirement in order to survive in that kind of an environment. I think you got to. 

Rich Bennett 3:39
Yeah! 

Dennis Quinn 3:40
But yeah, I grew up there from the time I was very young. My dad was in the Navy when I was born in San Diego and then about a year later they moved back to Montana. They're both originally from Montana. And he was a dentist. He had a private practice and my mom was a full-time mom at home taking care of, taking care of all of us. 

Rich Bennett 3:59
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 4:00
When I looked back on it it was really simple. You grew up just knowing the basis of what's right what's wrong. We were raised Catholic. I went to Catholic schools for about four years in elementary schools until they closed down. And then also the college I ended up going to in in Helena he was a Catholic college also. 

Rich Bennett 4:21
Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 4:21
But so it was very, you know, you're brought up on in that faith and those beliefs and that was part of the foundation for life. Montana itself it was always. There were two you learn geography basically. 

Rich Bennett 4:38
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 4:38
In life there was there's Montana and there's out of status and that was how life was. It was very, 

very white. There weren't, 

Rich Bennett 4:51
right. 

Dennis Quinn 4:52
There were very, very few minorities other than the American Indian natives. And a lot of those folks lived on reservations and whatnot. And we just basically didn't have -- I didn't have much contact with them. My school -- the high school I went to was about 1,300 kids. And then the college I went to was about the same size. So -- and I lived there, grew up there, graduated from college there with a degree in accounting. And I had traveled a little bit during college. And from that point, rather than looking for good accounting jobs, I had decided I wanted to be a flight attendant. And so I applied to several major airlines shortly after I got out of college. I was hired by Northwest Airlines in and went based in Minneapolis. 

Rich Bennett 5:44
Oh, wow. 

Dennis Quinn 5:45
>> So that's where -- and that coming from Montana, that was a huge exposure to other people. 

Rich Bennett 5:51
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 5:52
Other beliefs, other lifestyles, other racial, other customs. And that was a real eye-opener for me. And it was a real good thing. It was a way to, you know, broaden my horizons, make some new 

Rich Bennett 6:05
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 6:06
friends, learn to live independently, and go to see a lot of the world, the United States and it was a lot of fun. 

Rich Bennett 6:14
>> My sister does that now and loves it, loves being a flight attendant. 

Dennis Quinn 6:18
>> Yeah, so I was going to do that for a year or two, and 26 years later, I, 

Rich Bennett 6:23
I, 

Dennis Quinn 6:24
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, 

Rich Bennett 6:27
I, I, I, I, I, I guess you loved it, too. 

Dennis Quinn 6:29
>> And my, I don't think my parents were real great with, with the idea, especially, my mom, initially, what the, you know, she said, you went to 40 years of college to do that, but then when they started traveling on pass, it wasn't going to places. It became a really great job. 

Rich Bennett 6:42
>> Yeah, yeah. What, it creep me in from wrong, but being a flight attendant, you're not working, you're not even working five days a week, are you? 

Dennis Quinn 6:52
>> No, no, it was basically, when we first started, there were 10 days off a month, and you were on call, and then as you have moved along, it was probably 30 days you were working on month, 13, 14 somewhere in that, that time frame. And you, you had a lot of flexibility in moving things around, and, and where you went to, as your day and seniority, and, you know, it was, there was a lot of flexibility, and that was really good. I really enjoyed 

Rich Bennett 7:19
>> 

Dennis Quinn 7:19
that. 

Rich Bennett 7:19
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 7:20
>> You know, and you met a lot of people, went to different places, and that's one of the, you know, that's why I got into the mentoring almost is because I had so much time off initially, when I was first started flying. 

Rich Bennett 7:31
>> I was going to say, you could probably write a whole other book just on the people and the stories while flight attendant, 

Dennis Quinn 7:40
>> Yeah, there's some good stories that have followed with us, and, actually, some of, I think there's one person from my flight attendant class of, we were in September of 79, and this is still flying today, the rest, there were 

Rich Bennett 7:53
really 

Dennis Quinn 7:53
34 of us, yeah, but she's still flying today. She used to fly with a really good friend of mine who just retired. So, I'd, I'd hear 

Rich Bennett 8:00
wow. 

Dennis Quinn 8:01
updates frequently. >> Yeah. >> So it was a good deal. 

Rich Bennett 8:04
>> Wow, yeah, it's, and I'm sure you've probably met several celebrities and all that too, but that's a whole 'nother pocket. >> Actually, that's interesting, I might have to do a pocket, so it's different flight attendants. 

Dennis Quinn 8:15
>> [LAUGH] 

Rich Bennett 8:17
>> Wow, I wonder why my sister never mentioned that to me about, hey, you should do that. I said that, excuse me, you've worn many hats over the years, a writer, a mentor flight attendant, volunteer. When did you first realize that helping others was going to be part of your life's purpose? 

Dennis Quinn 8:38
>> It, I was going to be a Catholic priest when I was growing up. 

Rich Bennett 8:43
>> Really? 

Dennis Quinn 8:44
>> Right, yeah, and, and that, that I had planned to do all through grade school, probably through junior high. And then it to tend to high school, but then, that became less. That became less appealing when I've discovered orgasms and money, because celibacy and poverty didn't. >> Great, it sounds like a great, 

Rich Bennett 9:11
>> 

Dennis Quinn 9:12
great. 

Rich Bennett 9:12
Right, yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 9:13
>> The future, so I decided I was going to be a doctor, and then I went to school specifically to be in pre-mad. I did the first year, by the second year I was thinking, no, I didn't really care to do that. 

Rich Bennett 9:23
the 

Dennis Quinn 9:24
And, right, and so I was going to, I looked for some social work to do over a summer, and it was either they wanted you to be. 21, a college graduate, or, you know, and the only thing that I found that we're going to give you a $50 a month stipend, you know, I'd make that money in tips at one night at the place I was in. Plus, my younger brother was only five years old at the time, and that was working in a daycare center, and I thought, you know, that's a waste of my time to do that. So when I really, when we were growing up, watching TV, they used to have advertisements on TV for big brothers and big sisters, you know, looking for volunteers to spend with time at the kid that didn't have a father in the home. And I told one of my sisters, I said, "When if I ever move away from home, I think I'll do that." And so when I got into Minneapolis and started flying, I had a lot of time off and I thought, "Okay, I'm going to do that." And that's where I, you know, go into it, think you're going to save this kid, you're going to change his whole life, all of that kind of stuff. And I found out pretty quickly that it wasn't about that. It was about just being a friend to him, helping him out, doing things with them. And with that did for 

Rich Bennett 10:37
me, right, 

Dennis Quinn 10:38
right. And with that did for me, is it really created an anchor for when I first started flying, because people were moving bases or communing from different towns, they were rather than living in Minnesota. And for me, I had a commitment to stay there. And so-- 

Rich Bennett 10:52
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 10:53
I actually worked with him for four years, and then my main friends for him, with him, until he was killed last November enough, our mobile accident work. But that turned out to be a great friendship. And I can see what it helped, how it helped me, I saw how different people lived. You know it. I met him when he was 11, and at his age I had a paper route, and I was using the money to upgrade my bicycle. At his age he had a paper route, and he was sharing that with his mother to help pay the rent. so there, it was a real contrast to where I came from. I live with nine, you know, the nine kids in the house, and him was always him and his mother. And 

Rich Bennett 11:35
And 

Dennis Quinn 11:35
it was great. It was a good experience. He was a quiet kid. 

Rich Bennett 11:40
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 11:40
We did all kinds of stuff together, and almost every week or every other week for the whole four years, I lived in Minnesota. And then beyond that, we would keep in touch, did some traveling together. I ended up being a best man when he got married, and got a father to his son, who I think is 30 today, I think he's 30 today. 31. 

Rich Bennett 12:04
Wow. 

Dennis Quinn 12:04
Yeah. So, and then when I, again, when I applied for Mike several years later, yet, I knew what I was getting into. That this was 

Rich Bennett 12:15
right, 

Dennis Quinn 12:16
a different, you know, it was going to be a commitment. It wasn't just, you know, meet him, do a few things and then you're out of their life. So, when I met him, he was, he was, he was much different. He was a handicapped kid. He had been in the foster system for the, he's seven years old, had been in the foster system for the last two or five years prior to meeting him and was being adopted by 63 year old single woman who was he had been his foster mother, most of the time for the past five years. Because she was afraid he was going to get lost in the foster system. And her daughter, her adult daughter and family live nearby and they, they were helping helping out with, you know, with raised Mike and, and so that was the first night I met him. I thought, man, this is, I don't know what's going to go on with this because he was so, it was so different and 

Rich Bennett 13:07
yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 13:07
He had a trouble speaking and just very expressive. I met him. He gave me a big bear hug around the waist. And when you first met him and I just knew that this was going to be real different. I said, you know, to myself someday, I'm going to write a book about this. Now, I had no clue what it's going to go on. And then it turned out to be a 13 year, you know, journey that we traveled together and it was pretty, pretty powerful. It had impacted my life deeply. He made great progress when I met him with his speech, with schoolwork, learning to read with his, his social boundaries, all of those sort of things. And then he, you know, then he developed the mental illness and in life took a real drastic turn. So, 

Rich Bennett 13:56
what were some of the early moments is with Mike, that made you realize that the relationship was going to change both of your lives. 

Dennis Quinn 14:05
It first, one I called one night to set up a meeting, you know, for the next week, with his, his mother, he called her, his mother Betty, what's her name. And she said, well, he's not Harry's up at the hospital or whatever him. And I said, well, what's going on? And Harry was in the sidecune that she said. And I thought, well, she must have some overreaction to his teenage behavior, and but so I went up there and visited him and he didn't really have a sense of why he was there. He told me that I said, you just keep healthy and we keep doing what they're saying and they'll take and help you out. And he says, well, I'm trying. I'm not watching my hands all the time because I don't want them to think I'm crazy. And it it came apparent to me that he didn't know why really why he was there. He didn't know, but he knew that some things were happening that he just didn't have control about. 

Rich Bennett 15:05
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 15:06
And then I proceeded to see him and then it from that it moved to group. He got dangerous, too dangerous to live with his, his, his, his adoptive mother. So he was in it. And from group homes to foster homes to running away to back in the group homes back and it and you never really knew where he was Called to see if you could get together with them. And sometimes he you'd never know what condition he would be and 

Rich Bennett 15:31
when you. Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 15:32
when you saw him. And it's been so for me, it became a point of. Having to see him, what am I going to do with this? Am I, you know, and I wasted my time here because it was hard to get any reaction to him. But I made the decision that, you know, I would hang in there because I really wanted him to know that there was somebody, his, his adoptive mother by that time was, was aging and having difficulty cognitively. And so I just wanted him to know that hey, you know, you got a friend that's, that's here for you and somebody from your past and it kind of maintained that that tie. And so that's what that's what you continue to do. 

Rich Bennett 16:14
Mentorship and I always believe I always push for people to have a mentor earn mentors. So leadership comes with, you know, joys and challenges. What were some of the most rewarding times for you, you know, especially with my and what were some of the toughest. 

Dennis Quinn 16:39
Some of the toughest were, were going to visit him when he was hospitalized. There 

Rich Bennett 16:44
days. 

Dennis Quinn 16:45
were two 

Rich Bennett 16:45
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 16:45
He was in, in one place for about a year and a half in another place for almost a little over a year. And just leaving that you'd never know what you were going to see when you get there. And sometimes it would be doing better and it'd be a little uplifting. And other times you, I would see it and just think this is hopeless. And 

Rich Bennett 17:05
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 17:05
one time probably one of the hardest time was that the last place he was at, which was a state mental hospital one day. I can go out on passes. 

Okay. 

You know, this is the next step one I took him out on a pass. And the sign out, I thought they'd have this whole list of stuff and it was nothing like that. And 

Rich Bennett 17:27
right. 

Dennis Quinn 17:27
We went to Burger King and had lunch and when I was having lunch with him, his, he was, that it was just a shell of a human being that I was having lunch with. He, he wasn't there. His body was deteriorating. And so then we went to the movie and it halfway through what he got up to go to bathroom and he didn't come back. And 

Rich Bennett 17:50
Shit. 

Dennis Quinn 17:51
so here I am and you're talking to the cop and, you know, you tell him, "Well, the guy goes always an escapee." And I said, "No, no, he goes on a pass with me." That cop looked at me like, "You are the craziest person, I know, take somebody out." 

Rich Bennett 18:05
Oh, wow. 

Dennis Quinn 18:07
But what happened is then that night when I went back to the mental hospital and they wouldn't get, they told me they heard, had terrible news about it. But then they wouldn't give me any information that signed a release. He hadn't signed a release. But when I was driving home they encouraged him to call me and hear he had gone out of the movie theater across to the grocery store and pull the bottle bleach off the gel and started drinking and 

Rich Bennett 18:32
kill 

Dennis Quinn 18:32
tried 

Rich Bennett 18:32
him. 

Dennis Quinn 18:32
to 

Rich Bennett 18:32
Oh, no. 

Dennis Quinn 18:34
So that was just real hard to understand. I mean, you just knew at that point that he is really mixed up and sweet little guy that you used to know has transformed completely into something different. 

Rich Bennett 18:55
But I 

Dennis Quinn 18:56
would still go up and visit. I might never took him out again. We would go up and see in every couple of weeks we'd go there and they'd put us in a locked room where we play chess. And sometimes, you know, they're just... wow, stuff going on outside the room. Sometimes it's the one time we got locked. They locked us in a room where all around us were your playing chess and there were huge tops of all the underwear a lot of the people on the floor and then, you know, coming 

Rich Bennett 19:22
of, 

Dennis Quinn 19:22
tour 

Rich Bennett 19:23
okay. 

Dennis Quinn 19:23
>> Laundry. >> Laundry. Coming tour of from the laundry, and I didn't know. You didn't know whether they were going to the laundry or coming back. 

Rich Bennett 19:30
>> Oh God. 

Dennis Quinn 19:31
>> And I'd get, you know, I'm not really, you know, I'm a pretty bright guy most times but I would be up locked in situations like that and I would get my butt whipped in chess every single time. And it's this whole dichotomy of, you know, what's, what does he understand and what doesn't 

Rich Bennett 19:54
he understands. Right. 

Dennis Quinn 19:55
And he had no control. He got less verbal every time they medicated him. If he started talking a lot, they'd have, they had me when they'd then pull him off the medications, he'd start talking a lot, but the, uh, weird behaviors would come back. He would learn stuff like at one place, he learned he threw up after he, he wouldn't gain weight. And so he went into a period of bulimia and 

Rich Bennett 20:20
that if 

Dennis Quinn 20:20
you, >> You know, that, that whole question of, what am I doing? I got so every time before I went in to see him, I would stop and I'd pray a little bit that, you know, just make this good for Mike, whatever happens, 

Rich Bennett 20:31
right. 

Dennis Quinn 20:31
whatever it is, whatever we do. To make it good, something good for him. And I believe it was, I believe having that connection. What, 

Rich Bennett 20:38
yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 20:38
It was helpful for him. It was certainly helpful for me. You know, it, it was tough, but it, I mean, man, it opened my eyes to a lot of, and a lot of it was good humor when you were outside there. You tell people about stuff that had happened and it's, it's, 

Rich Bennett 20:57
you learned, you learned a lot as well, didn't 

Dennis Quinn 20:59
>> Right. And I mean, one time I, we're in a place, one time we were playing chess and there was a man in there who was up, he brought pizza up for his, his son for dinner and that, that guy was, was really, really handicaped and all he kept saying is I want to go home, I want to go home and you knew that he was never going home. And those kind of things who really ripped me up and it made 

Rich Bennett 21:21
you? 

Dennis Quinn 21:21
me 

Rich Bennett 21:21
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 21:21
very aware and made me aware of people who, the housing challenges were so bad that it made me very aware that there are people who are living independently, who may have some disabilities and whatnot. And how difficult it is for them to, to do that and how difficult it is for them to find appropriate housing. And so I, I still have some friends, yeah, and I still have some friends in that situation that, you know, together every, every once in a while for coffee and just, So it was no, no hero thing, it was just a guy who shows up and, and that's a lot of things, I learned that I think that that is really helpful. I heard one 

Rich Bennett 22:00
yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 22:01
woman on a podcast, a minister say that she would visit juvenile facilities and she had no, she had no magic wand, she had no fix, no solution, but was, she had was a ministerial presence of showing up and being present for these folks. 

Rich Bennett 22:15
Mm-hmm. 

Dennis Quinn 22:16
Well, and so I kind of try to operate on that is, you know, I can come in and sit down and share a couple minutes, you know, an hour with you and whatnot. We can see what's going on and, and try to cheer them up a little, make them laugh. And that's a good. 

Rich Bennett 22:31
What are some of the, I guess, profound lessons you took away from your time together with them. 

Dennis Quinn 22:38
It made me question everything I believed. How does, how does a child get put on this earth in a situation with a mother that is mentally ill that has four children already that's that are removed from the home? How come he has those challenges? How did he land in a woman's house as a foster mother who gave him a chance at life and did a fabulous job of that and advocated for him? And took care of him and showed him love. And, and then to all of a sudden get your developmental illness and all bits are off. You know, why did that happen? And there's no understanding. There's no, I question that a lot. Right. You know, as I believe firmly that anything that's difficult that you go through and come out the other end, you can help somebody with. But that is, you know, that is just. It is so hard and it is so hard for, I can't imagine what it's like for a biological or, you know, a real 

Rich Bennett 23:40
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 23:41
parent. I mean, I was a couple hours and here's your kid back kind of thing. But because somebody who's going through that all the time, it's a tremendous challenge. 

Rich Bennett 23:49
Oh, yeah, it is. From your perspective, what does real mentorship look like? And what misconceptions do people often have about it? 

Dennis Quinn 24:04
I think the misconception that people have is similar to what I had at first is that you're going to go in there and you're going to fix this guy or they's gal and you're going to change their life to be. 

Rich Bennett 24:13
You 

Dennis Quinn 24:14
think it should be. What 

reality is is going in there and being committed to help them to listen to them, to talk with them, to share some of your own experience. The most powerful thing doesn't come from me telling you what you need to do it. It's from what happened to me in a similar 

Rich Bennett 24:39
Right, 

Dennis Quinn 24:39
situation. 

Rich Bennett 24:40
sharing those lived 

Dennis Quinn 24:42
experiences. I think that that's what memptership is more or less. I had an experience with Mike where he was having a real difficult day with his speech. I always had him whenever we'd go places, order his own food or anything like that and the people would just glare at him, trying to figure out what he was saying. To keep him that opportunity to do that and practice doing that. One day he had a really bad time and he would start crying and he just couldn't do it. I pulled over and talked to him for a minute and I told him that I used to have to go to speech therapy, too. He was like, "What?" And I said, "I had to go to speech therapy." So embarrassed, I never told my brothers and sisters I was going, "It was the second or third grade." I started mimicking how I used to talk. He just thought it was hilariously funny but I just said, "I can't fix it for you but you keep going and you keep working and it will get better." I know it will get better. 

Rich Bennett 25:46
Yeah. You 

Dennis Quinn 25:47
know, not fixed but better. And he, from that day forward, we never had a time where he had a meltdown with his speech. I'm sure he did but when we were together, he never did it and I really think that helped him to know that, "Hey, he had speech problems, too." So it's sharing you that experience that really helps you. 

Rich Bennett 26:08
I think when you do that too, it helps build a trust. You know, let's face it when it comes to the Big Brother Big Sister program. One of the things that I'm looking for is somebody they can trust. You know? And I don't know if it's the same. have Big Brother and Big Sister, right? 

Dennis Quinn 26:36
You 

Rich Bennett 26:36
But that's different from the Boys & Girls Club, correct? 

Dennis Quinn 26:39
Correct, correct. You know, I'm not how I'm involved with a Big Brother Big Sister program. I don't speak for them but I'm just a volunteer 

Rich Bennett 26:48
program. 

Dennis Quinn 26:48
in their 

Rich Bennett 26:48
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 26:49
The Boys & Girls Club is a different organization 

Rich Bennett 26:52
and... 

Dennis Quinn 26:52
completely 

Rich Bennett 26:52
That's what I thought. 

Dennis Quinn 26:54
And they have more, probably more group oriented things where the 

Rich Bennett 26:58
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 26:59
Big Brother's Big Sisters has been a more a one-to-one mentoring. 

Rich Bennett 27:03
One-to-one. 

Dennis Quinn 27:04
Yeah. The type thing is what their foundation was initially. And I believe that's still their primary one in maybe in different situations and not in the community. And some of them, they do school programs, that sort of thing in schools. Yeah. But just to establish with some... For the Boys, at the time I was met Ashwood Scott in Minnesota. It was, you know, what they told me they were looking for the kids that were on the list. And what they told me was that the majority was children that didn't have a consistent adult male contact, contact. Like if they had an uncle or somebody that really was spending time with them, they probably weren't as high as a priority to match. 

Rich Bennett 27:44
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 27:45
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 27:46
You've also worked with teens in the juvenile court system. Especially in the recovery programs. 

Dennis Quinn 27:54
Right. 

Rich Bennett 27:54
What actually drew you to that work? 

Dennis Quinn 27:59
I've been in recovery for quite a while and there 

Rich Bennett 28:02
is a... Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 28:04
There is a... You know, the belief of helping, helping share the message. 

Rich Bennett 28:13
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 28:14
You know. And there... There's a lot of folks over here who are active in corrections. Some that go out to the women's prison, they have some that go to the County Jails and the men's prison. And then they had a group that would go out to the juvenile. The juvenile detention center in and these are people who are probably from 14 to 17, once they age out at 18, they're into the adult system. 

Rich Bennett 28:41
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 28:41
So I started doing that, somebody encouraged me to do it with this group and so that's... There's a group of us that go various guys that go over there every... Probably three times a month in just... 

Rich Bennett 28:57
Nice. 

Dennis Quinn 28:57
And we used to have sit down meetings with them but then... ..then their staffing levels have reached the point where we have to go into the individual pods of, of guys and, uh.. Me 

Rich Bennett 29:10
with.. Oh! 

Dennis Quinn 29:11
It, ehm, yeah. Um, it's always an adventure. I mean, if 

Rich Bennett 29:15
Yea! 

Dennis Quinn 29:15
you are, if you are 16, you don't have any problem with alcohol or drugs. You know, the fact that you might be in there because you were a little bit loaded, installed a bunch of stuff and beat somebody up. Well, that's good. You don't have a problem, but here's where you can find some help when you decide if you need some help. And there are some people there that kids have really listened to us, some others that just don't even bother with us, but the focus on that is to show, to let them know that there's a place where when you need it, or your friends need it, or somebody in your family needs it. This is a place you can look for help for people 

Rich Bennett 29:52
who 

Dennis Quinn 29:53
aren't poor. So, willing to help you, who aren't going to charge any money, you don't want anything but it will help you, and that helps us come in over. 

Since COVID, we used to have a lot of kids that were in there like real short-term, but since then they shut down in COVID, and then when we went back after COVID, starting about a year ago, the population that's in there is pretty much long-term. There's a lot of kids in there who are felony charges, assault, 

Rich Bennett 30:24
Wow. 

Dennis Quinn 30:25
murder, murder, robbery, and you're talking to people who are charged with murder at age 15, 14, and what's the message? The message is still the same. This is someplace where if these things are happening, you can get some help, and that's why we do. The fact that they are their long-term, and it's a lot of the same guys that are coming back every three times a month, you meet some of them that begin to trust you, and they begin, you know, they start to ask you, and what can I do to help, or where can I find some help, and that. So some of that is you hope that it pays off long-term form. If you talk to them, a lot of, I would say, 99% of them, the family structure that they were in, has been real rough. 

Rich Bennett 31:16
And 

Dennis Quinn 31:17
there's issues with some people in gangs that are looking for that connection, that my buddy is, my homies, and, you know, if you can, that's why the big brother of and youth mentoring programs, I think are so important, because if you can, show them an example of somebody that, you know, doesn't--isn't caught up in the gang of my friends or has gone through certain things that they do, that it's real valuable, break it off earlier, you know. And there are people who-- 

Rich Bennett 31:51
no, I'm sorry, go ahead. 

Dennis Quinn 31:52
There are people who come up the other end, I mean, I know--yeah, who spend a lot of time in prison that are, you know, in re-carrying, helping other, helping other people who do the same, you know, so-- 

Rich Bennett 32:04
And that's all state and local right now, 

Dennis Quinn 32:07
federal. It's all--it's right, it's county, it's 

Rich Bennett 32:09
go. 

Dennis Quinn 32:09
where we 

Rich Bennett 32:10
Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 32:11
You know? 

Rich Bennett 32:11
Yeah, because I know, if I'm not mistaken, if they're in with federal charges or federal holding prisons or whatever, they transfer them to other prisons every so often. Which I guess in a way makes I don't 

Dennis Quinn 32:27
sense. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 32:28
know. I get--have to be real bad, trying to be on federal first. 

At some point, you decide to turn all these deeply personal experiences into a book. So I want to talk about how stick figures came to life. What inspired you to write stick 

Dennis Quinn 32:45
figures? When inspired me to write, it was--like I said, initially when I met Mike, that I thought that I would write something for him about him, I mean, about us. And so I was written over a period of time. I had some--after 

some--about five years ago, some during COVID and some--when I retired, then finished it. 

Rich Bennett 33:07
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 33:08
The stick figures itself, when I--when I was matched with him, they told me he has a trouble with transitions, immediate transitions. So when you're out with him, you can't say, "Let's go." It has to be three minutes, five minutes. We're leaving him five minutes, we're leaving him three, we're leaving him. 

Rich Bennett 33:22
Interesting. Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 33:23
So what I did was, I met him in December and I gave him a calendar that I had made and it had, when it had the date, we match--match written in the date of a square. And I gave him that so that he would have something where they could write down when we're going to get together again so that if he had to look at it, he could see it. And what happened with that was every time we would go out somewhere and then we'd come back and sit down with his mom for a while to talk and he'd say, "Go get your calendar." And he'd go get the calendar so we could write down the next thing but I started running little stick figures of what we had done that day. 

Rich Bennett 33:58
Oh, wow. 

Dennis Quinn 33:58
you know, whether we're running or bike riding or just and that's the, that is the pinnacle of my artistic ability is just little stig figures. It's uh, it rings right behind my chest playing abilities. 

Rich Bennett 34:09
uh, 

Dennis Quinn 34:10
But 

Rich Bennett 34:10
Haha. 

Dennis Quinn 34:12
So he had, uh, he had, uh, probably over a three or four year time, he had these calendars and he would get 'em, sometimes when we're sitting there and he'd look back and see what we did, you know or what, if we went to the football game with the score was written down who won and that. And so it was a memory for and it was a, a history of what we had done. After the mental illness had done, to cold it, 

Rich Bennett 34:36
um, 

Dennis Quinn 34:37
uh, the, the calendar got lost in one of the many, many moves. So, uh, 

Rich Bennett 34:42
he, 

Dennis Quinn 34:43
we didn't have that, but what the book, how, the book ties into it at the end, the stick figure and, um, that's where that came from, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 34:51
Okay, 

Dennis Quinn 34:52
but it was, that was our way of having, you know, we'd sit down here and his mom and the pool would be there, Jake. The boot. Yeah, it was, it was kind of fun because you'd look back and say, oh, yeah, that was, you know, we went to the 

Rich Bennett 35:03
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 35:03
Husky game that day or whatever. 

Rich Bennett 35:05
Well, the book deals a lot with love, loss and the complexity of helping someone in crisis. How are you able to balance being honest while still showing compassion while writing this? 

Dennis Quinn 35:24
Uh, I had, I had some people, you know, I, I had had people read it. I had people help me with that, and I have one person in, in, in, uh, particular that was a writing instructor with, and who I maintain with contact with. And she's really great. She's really helping. She would, she would, she knew enough about it that she would say, hey, what about this or what else is this? Or if 

Rich Bennett 35:50
in 

Dennis Quinn 35:50
I tell her an episode, she said they have to be in it. And, um, and for Mike, then some of the things one person who read it, who was a mental health counselor told me that some of the terminology I was using to describe these things were pretty offensive to her. So 

Rich Bennett 36:05
to. 

Dennis Quinn 36:05
it was able 

Rich Bennett 36:05
Oh. 

Dennis Quinn 36:07
You know, weird. 

Rich Bennett 36:09
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 36:10
No, that kind of stuff. So that helped string it out. I had, there were some incidences with the agency itself that I had that we're part of the story. The, for example, what probably the first one was when I went to mad be matched with Mike, it, uh, I had been a big brother in, in Minnesota, and I had, had been at that time I was not out as a gay man, and I told them I was straight. And they said, that's fine. It's, you know, we have to ask everybody that 

Rich Bennett 36:41
mother. 

Dennis Quinn 36:42
and the 

Rich Bennett 36:42
Right. 

Dennis Quinn 36:42
Told and you know, it's up to their decision whether they want it doesn't preclude you from being a volunteer when I 

Rich Bennett 36:50
write 

Dennis Quinn 36:51
Seattle orientation meeting. The guy stood up there the first night. Well, these volunteers and said we're looking for heterosexual role models for our kids. And it's the movie by this time I was out. And, uh, so I asked him after and I got nowhere with it. And I went to see the executive director the next day. And they had had a lawsuit about five years before. Where somebody had assaulted a kid and the mom and kids suit him successfully. And so they decided they were, 

Rich Bennett 37:17
okay 

Dennis Quinn 37:17
handle, they were going to handle their pedophilia problem by, by restricting and I'm going to take any gay applicants regardless of how much experience had regardless about who you are. At the same time, they had a couple hundred kids on their waiting list for big brothers and sisters who would never get them because they didn't have enough volunteers. And, um, so I spoke to him a lot and I expressed my opinion that you're not screening out pedophilia or your, your, your forcing people to lie to you or your, you know, because there are people and you're going to have kids that are going to come back to you who are gay that down the line. It's, you know, 

Rich Bennett 37:53
Yeah, I 

Dennis Quinn 37:53
tell you're going to tell them forget it. We helped you out. But you can't help us. So anyway, 

Rich Bennett 37:58
the other thing is to with that is, you know, it's straight men do that too. And so you wow that, 

Dennis Quinn 38:08
and see I, I had already had a four year student with, with this kid and his, he was out there, his mother was out there. They could have 

Rich Bennett 38:15
Mm 

Dennis Quinn 38:15
checked. 

Rich Bennett 38:15
hmm. 

Dennis Quinn 38:15
But they were, it was just no we're not even except applicants. And I believe very firmly that they were denying kids for had to having big brothers and big sister. 

Rich Bennett 38:25
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 38:26
So I wrote him a letter and about six months later the executive director called me and told me they had, and this policy that they had, they were only one of five chapters in the, in the United States that had that policy at that time. The rest, it was that, you know, we tell the mother, they, uh, they have the final say and 

Rich Bennett 38:42
yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 38:43
And so he called me about six months later and told me that they had changed their policy in line with the national organization to accept the applicants. And I saw them at that point, I wouldn't be in right away, but I would be in. And so at that time, finally about six months later, both myself and my husband now applied and we were both matched with little brothers of the same age at the same time. And so occasionally we would do stuff together with them and that. But, you know. And so then, then, but I felt we were under a real heavy microscope of, you're working with an agency that had that policy for four or five years, and they're not going to change overnight. And ran into a couple, couple, couple of incidences with them. But, 

you know, but it, it, it all worked out good, but I put that stuff in there because it was part of the story. And it's also part of the story that, you know, that, that being 

Rich Bennett 39:40
needs to be told. 

Dennis Quinn 39:41
Yeah, right. And in And so it was, it, and it was good. I mean, I still, I was involved last year with big brothers here doing a school lunch thing that they had when match us, it was called lunch buddies. We had a bunch of lunch buddies who'd go twice, twice a month 

Rich Bennett 39:58
it. 

Dennis Quinn 39:59
and have lunch with the, the kids or try to get them to sit down. 

And I had the, 

Rich Bennett 40:07
Oh, 

Dennis Quinn 40:07
I won the wildest one in the whole group. 

Rich Bennett 40:11
geez. 

Dennis Quinn 40:11
I don't know if these little boys are like seven years old. And the last lunch I remember sitting there in the library would eat and, and all the women and their little girls are sitting there talking and all the big brothers are just sitting there by themselves. And around us are all the little boys run in the 

Rich Bennett 40:29
oven and. Oh, God. 

Dennis Quinn 40:31
ch But they didn't, they aren't having that next year. So I'm in the 

Rich Bennett 40:35
right 

Dennis Quinn 40:36
of finding out another. What I'm going to be doing with them soon. 

Rich Bennett 40:41
They need to put a bunch of doughnuts. They're the kids will stop. With the book, what, what I love asking this question, what was the most emotionally difficult chapter right and why? 

Dennis Quinn 40:59
Probably some, the fun ones are the good stuff that we did. Those were pretty easy. The ones, there's one of where we're playing chess out in the outside of this. 

outside of this group home in the court yard of this group home and people are playing football and swearing at each other. We're playing chess. And Mike is really, really dirty. And I think writing that it was really a core of this is this is where he's at right now, or this is 

Rich Bennett 41:34
Right 

Dennis Quinn 41:34
where he was. And that, that was pretty emotional. Some of the things at the end were, were really emotional. But the thing is, if you can laugh, I feel like I can laugh or cry at something I'm writing minutes. I'm on 

Rich Bennett 41:50
Then 

Dennis Quinn 41:50
track. 

Rich Bennett 41:51
it's good. 

Dennis Quinn 41:51
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:52
And it's, to me, a good book, especially something like this, if you cry, you know, you did well in writing it. And the funny thing is, I remember watching this movie, which is a true story. And they said, but I didn't cry. Then I got the book afterwards and the book made me cry. Because you know, well, let's face it, a movie's not going to cover as much as the book. They dummy it. Not dummy it down. They make it shorter, I guess you could say. Say, not if when a reader finishes your book, and only remembers one message. What do you hope it is? 

Dennis Quinn 42:37
When, when Mike and I hit five years of. We went down to trip down to Disneyland from, you know, to celebrate five years of clear it with his mom and the agency and we went down there and the first night we got down there. He is in the hotel room and he's just all fired up. He's really, can we watch a movie? And so he's on the one bed over there. The lights are off and we are still talking on that and he I mentioned something about what I did for working on the planes and bad and I said, do you ever think about what you would like to do when you grow up Mike and he was really quiet. And then he said in his broken voice, he says, I just want to be a normal kid. And I was stunned in knowing how to reply because with the package of challenges he was carrying. to be normal. And so I told him, I said, "Hey, Mike, you are a normal kid. You like more normal things than other kids do. We like to go to football games together. We like to do this. You like to do those stuff. You're a great kid." And then he said, he said, "You know, he said, I got a lucky life." He says, "I got my, I got a good house. I got my mom. I got a Jake, my dog. I got you. He goes, I got a lucky life." And my, what I always think about is if that kid, with all his challenges and with all he had going against him, and with the struggle that he faced every day, if he could find some gratitude like that. And by God, I can find some gratitude in my life, whatever, whatever is going on. And my husband Joe wanted the book to be named, you know, "Love my lucky life." And that was close. But yeah, and so I always think of that, you know, we got a lucky life and we have a chance to heal with 

Rich Bennett 44:45
going 

Dennis Quinn 44:45
whatever is 

Rich Bennett 44:46
on 

Dennis Quinn 44:46
with us, whether it's recovery or whether it's financial, anything you have a chance. That's what his, his bio. His adoptive mother gave him was she gave him a chance. And she was a saint to do it. And, and no matter how hard she tried, matter how high I tried, no matter how hard anyone around them tried, they couldn't do that at the end. And that's unfortunate. So you look at what's the message he brought. He reminded us that we need a gratitude. He brought other people together. So it was a great experience. It was a great experience. And in the end, you just hope he's a piece. 

Rich Bennett 45:24
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 45:26
So 

Rich Bennett 45:26
I wish I could have met 

Dennis Quinn 45:28
him. 

Rich Bennett 45:30
mean, 

Dennis Quinn 45:30
I 

Rich Bennett 45:31
it's God, and you know, Dennis, you know 

Dennis Quinn 45:37
he is, 

Rich Bennett 45:41
I believe in guardian angel, 

Dennis Quinn 45:45
he was, he was quite the, quite the character. And my partner's little brother had like this kid that was like hyperactive. You know, very 

Rich Bennett 45:54
but 

Dennis Quinn 45:54
athletic. Go, go, go. And Mike was deep zamyat off. It's a Joe, would come home and say, we did this. We did this. We did this. We did this. And he said, what do you do? I said, we walked to the car. We got in the car. I don't either. Very quick. You don't sketch a lot of Mike. You just move it his base. But, 

Rich Bennett 46:11
but he did kick my ass 

Dennis Quinn 46:13
in 

Rich Bennett 46:13
again. 

Dennis Quinn 46:15
the mental institution of all 

Rich Bennett 46:17
Oh, 

Dennis Quinn 46:17
plays. 

Rich Bennett 46:19
Yeah. And the funny thing is, I used to love 

Dennis Quinn 46:22
playing 

Rich Bennett 46:23
and I haven't played chess. I don't even know how long I'm, I want to play chess now. I do. I wonder if I could teach my daughter. And it's always better when you can out of play because that means you're going to be winning at first. 

Dennis Quinn 46:39
Right. You get ahead start. 

Rich Bennett 46:43
Yeah. I 

Dennis Quinn 46:44
could. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 46:46
She have any interest. Um, you've actually turned your experiences. And the lessons that go far, I mean far, far, far, far beyond your own story. And I want to pull look at the bigger picture. So you've proposed topics like five gifts from time shared with a handicap little brother. 

Dennis Quinn 47:06
Uh-huh. 

Rich Bennett 47:07
Can you share what some of those gifts are? 

Dennis Quinn 47:11
The gifts they've given me is awareness of what's going on around the world that I'm, you know, that there are a huge, another is that there is a huge, huge, huge amount of people involved in mental health care that are absolute angels that are caring for people who cannot care for themselves and who most people could not do. And, you know, I give them hats off to that. There are a tremendous amount of good people in this world doing foster care that are, that are taking care of kids in crisis and people like Betty, who, who was an absolute, absolute saint and a pleasure to be around and somebody who was tough as nails. Um, she, she really gave this get a chance. And that's all you can do. You gave them a chance and, and it didn't turn out. for me, it really kind of has question. It has been a gift for me that it challenged my spiritual understanding. What's going on? 

Rich Bennett 48:15
Um, 

Dennis Quinn 48:15
And don't know, I don't know who runs the world. How are runs or not? Can I know that? It's way different than it's not black and white. There's a lot of grey out there. And for me, it makes me really grateful just for the ability to share that story, the ability to have spent that time with him to have been able to enjoy the laughs, and also the sad times with him. And I will never forget him. It's 

Rich Bennett 48:44
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 48:45
powerful, and I believe very strongly that the gift that my parents gave me of spending time with us and trying to help us learn and trying to put up with our craziness, and trying to deal with us. It has made me very grateful for that. They are

my dad is still alive, and he's a wonderful person, and my brothers and sisters all of us are pitching in to help him out. And he one time told my mother when she was locked

well, she wasn't locked up. She was at home with the nine of us. And she probably has very little awareness of what all was going on, but I guess one time she was really frustrated, and she was telling my dad, and my sister told me that my dad told her, "Dop, we don't want to break their spirit." 

And so my mom had to work around that, and then she would go play the piano when she got real stressed, so he used to love listening to her play the piano. I never knew that she was stressed when she would start to sit down the middle of the day and start playing, but... 

Rich Bennett 49:57
Why is she pounding the keys like that? 

Rock and roll was bored. 

Dennis Quinn 50:07
And 

Rich Bennett 50:09
my mom is playing Jerry Lee Lewis again. Oh, man, I am showing my age, aren't 

Dennis Quinn 50:15
I? 

So, she... they... Mike taught me there's a whole different world out there, and that I have a damn lucky life, and I am so grateful for it, and if all this stuff I was given, all the opportunity that I was given, and the grace my parents showed to me, I can take a little bit of time out of my busy, busy day of doing nothing to help somebody else out with something. And then I have to remind myself of that all the time, but it's a good place to be in. 

Rich Bennett 50:48
Actually, and if someone is... someone listening is on the fence about becoming a mentor or volunteer, what would you tell them to help them take that first step? 

Dennis Quinn 50:57
If it's a time you're concerned about just look at how you're at your phone and think how many powers a week you spend on your phone. Okay, so the time's not an issue. It's a commitment. So, 

you know, how would that commitment play for you? But I would remind them that they would get more out of this than the kid will, that they will teach them about their selves, about their boundaries, their abilities, they'll help them see what they've been given in. And you get more out of it than you put into it, and that's a real gift. For me, it has provided stability in my life, it has provided great memories, it has provided people that I have met, and the joy of being able to carry along a journey like Mike and I did together. 

Rich Bennett 51:55
Something very important. Tell everybody your website and where they can find your books. 

Dennis Quinn 52:02
They can find them on Amazon, but they can get a better deal through me, which is at my website, djquinnauthor.com, djquinnauthor.com. 

Yeah, that's where they are. They're on Amazon and in. 

Rich Bennett 52:22
But they can get an autograph copy if they go to 

Dennis Quinn 52:24
website. Oh, 

Rich Bennett 52:24
your 

Dennis Quinn 52:25
yeah, yeah, they can. 

Rich Bennett 52:26
It's 

Dennis Quinn 52:26
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 52:27
very important. Then, so you listening, you know what I'm going to say, you go to his website, you purchase the books, after you read them, that's when you go to Amazon, and good reads and everywhere else. And leave a full review. And then buy some more copies for friends of yours. 

Dennis Quinn 52:46
But I had somebody just do that the other day, they had gone on a trip and they sent the stick figures book to the people they had stayed with the wrong friends of theirs. And I got a really nice note back from one of them to her friend, I know back that about the book. And it was, you know, she says she reads a lot. And it was the 

Rich Bennett 53:07
Yeah. 

Dennis Quinn 53:07
best book she had written in a long time. And she also had done mental health work. And she liked the fact that I, you know, I hit that and told the story. The stories were good. And it's not a long read, but it's a good read. 

Rich Bennett 53:26
This is going to be a hard question. 

Uh, if Mike was sitting next to you right now and you wanted to tell him something, something that you never really got the chance to tell him, what would you say to him? 

Dennis Quinn 54:07
That's what I would tell him, because I am really grateful, we had a lot of really honest talks about 

Rich Bennett 54:12
stuff, 

Dennis Quinn 54:14
and I realised where he was at in life, and uh, and I know he tried his heart as best he could to cope with where he went through. I don't think I'd had anything left unsaid under the dome, thank 

Rich Bennett 54:34
you. 

Dennis Quinn 54:35
That's the only thing I had left unsaid to him. 

Rich Bennett 54:37
All right, so before I get to my last question, which I have no idea what it's going to be, uh, is there anything you would like to add? 

Dennis Quinn 54:48
If you could just encourage people to go out there, I think it is getting involved in something, there are tons of organizations, there are tons of, uh, things that you can be involved in, and for me, what I found out, it was a foundation for my life. As busy as I was, I had a commitment to go hang with a 10-year-old or a 7-year-old once, you know, a couple of times a month, and it, it broke me out of my head, it, you know, you just be present with them. It's rewarding, and there is a huge need for it. And the funding, funding has, you know, is evaporating quickly for a lot of people who need it, and you don't have to fix anybody, you just have to spend some time with them, learn to laugh with them, learn to, you know, enjoy time. 

Rich Bennett 55:35
You could save their life. That's 

Dennis Quinn 55:37
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 55:37
the thing, a lot of people don't realize when you're volunteering, not even just volunteering even just smiling at somebody saying hi, you could be saving that person's life that day because you don't know what they're going through. 

Dennis Quinn 55:47
Right. 

Rich Bennett 55:48
All right. So I have 100 different questions here. Don't worry. I'm not going to ask you all 100, but what, but what I need you to do, I need you to pick a number between 1 and 100, and why that number while I'm searching for the question. And we're, I want to say a good job because since I've been doing this, I want to say 90% of the time, the question has been aligning with what we've been talking about. 

Dennis Quinn 56:14
Okay. I will go with, 

I'll go with 17, which is my birthday. And it's also the day I met the 17th of December. 

Rich Bennett 56:26
Oh. Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 56:28
Question 17 

Rich Bennett 56:30
17 17 where are you? 

Okay. Oh, I think somebody did this before or picked this number before. Interesting. Okay. 

Dennis Quinn 56:42
Let me just know. 

Rich Bennett 56:47
So wait, before, 

Dennis Quinn 56:49
before 

Rich Bennett 56:51
I asked. Before I ask you this 

Dennis Quinn 56:52
question. 

Rich Bennett 56:54
No, the weird thing is how you things line up in a way. 

Dennis Quinn 57:00
Uh-huh. 

Rich Bennett 57:01
So the, and I told you before we started out, I had an in person interview. Today, guess what it was about? What? It's a, it's a young lady that started a nonprofit helping foster children. 

Dennis Quinn 57:15
Oh, really? Oh, 

Rich Bennett 57:15
and she's a foster parent herself. 

Dennis Quinn 57:18
Excellent. 

Rich Bennett 57:18
It's like, hmm, but number 17 has nothing to do with that. Uh-huh. What's a question? You often ask yourself. 

Dennis Quinn 57:34
It's, 

it's 

probably what am I? It's probably, I would 

say it's probably, it's a negative question and I'm like doing enough a lot of times I have. But in where it's at now in life, it's like, what am I going to do with the time I have left? 

Rich Bennett 58:05
You 

Dennis Quinn 58:06
know, I, I see people dying. I'm, you know, creeping up to 70 and a couple of years and 

Rich Bennett 58:14
I mean, nothing Dennis. 

Dennis Quinn 58:16
It's how, what am I going to do? What and, and it helps me kind of focus on. Okay. I'm going to take care of this or do that. You know, it's, you know, what, what is, as my brother called it, there's this window, you know, 

Rich Bennett 58:31
uh-huh. 

Dennis Quinn 58:32
And he was in the fourth quarter of his life. And Joe said, no, it's the third period. It's different than that. But, uh, yeah, that's kind of what I, I wonder a lot is what, what am I going to do from here on out? And I'm enjoying what I'm doing from here on out right now. I'm probably going to keep it that way. 

Rich Bennett 58:50
I think you're like me. You have a goal to make it to at least 

Dennis Quinn 58:52
real? 

Rich Bennett 58:52
100. 

Dennis Quinn 58:54
Well, thank you. My dad's 95 and I'm, 

Rich Bennett 58:56
Is he 

Dennis Quinn 58:57
yeah, I don't care to be that age, you know. 

Rich Bennett 59:03
My mother-in-law, I want to say, is 91 now, and still smart as, I mean, she is, she's all, I mean, active on social media and everything. Eh, she's all, and she keeps me straight to. 

Dennis Quinn 59:16
Ah, 

Rich Bennett 59:17
yeah, yeah, if I say so raw, 'ratch', okay, the mom. [laughing] But awesome. I could, oh, man, love her. She, yeah, 90-something. I, 

Dennis Quinn 59:28
yeah, dear. 

Rich Bennett 59:29
I had a lady on the podcast, who's 101. 

Dennis Quinn 59:32
Wow, 

Rich Bennett 59:32
wow. And still has a trainer. 

Dennis Quinn 59:35
[laughing] 

Rich Bennett 59:36
She still works out. 

Dennis Quinn 59:38
[laughing] 

Rich Bennett 59:39
Why? And she is definitely drinking that water from the fountain of youth because she did not look 101. But then again, what's that even look like nowadays? 

Dennis Quinn 59:48
Correct, 

Rich Bennett 59:49
I mean-- 

Dennis Quinn 59:49
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 59:50
It's, it's crazy. I mean, some of the people that I even went to school with is like, 'God, you don't age, it's sickening, it's disgusting, what in the hell are you doing?' I 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:01
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:01
don't-- [laughing] Yeah, here I am with the white beard and everything. [laughing] 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:06
What scares me about it is my dad, he lives that, that's a fast, a fast, yeah, assisted living facility. And one of his comments is, you know that AI stuff a lot, they talk about it because we got a lot of that artificial intelligence here at Scott's Mark. Right? [laughing] So. [laughing] 

Rich Bennett 1:00:29
Oh, it's a-- Yeah, that's a whole 'nother podcast on just how AI-- 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:36
Hi. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:36
That's how AI, a lot of the people that are our age are afraid of AI, but yet it's been around since the 40s or 50s. 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:44
Mm-hmm, in different forms, 

Rich Bennett 1:00:46
Yeah, but the way it's progressed 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:48
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:48
is like, wow. [laughing] Scary. 

Dennis Quinn 1:00:52
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:53
Scary but fun. Dennis, I want to thank you so much, it's been an honor and those of you listening once again, once you purchased the book, and you know where to go, djqinauthor.com. Purchase the books, leave copy, or leave four reviews and purchase copies for others. Dennis, thanks a lot. 

Dennis Quinn 1:01:12
Thanks a million Rich, I appreciate it and good luck. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:16
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you would like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with rich Bennett.com for updates, giveaways, and more. Until next time, take care, be kind, and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together, and my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing, software, the hosting, and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them. And if you can, please, please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following Full full circle boards. Nobody does chart cutery like full circle boards. Visit them at fullcircleboards.com, Sincerely, Sincerely, sincerely, so your photography. Live in the moment. They'll capture it. Visit them at sincerelysoyer.com.