Podathon For Recovery: Shelby’s Road to Recovery

Rich & Wendy 0:00
Welcome to a special episode of Conversations with Rich Bennett. This is a part of our part of our recoveries. 12 days of hope. Our mission to raise money for raise against addiction. My co-host Wendy Beck and I will be sharing powerful stories of addiction, recovery and resilience to help break the stigma and show that hope is always possible. Your support helps raise against addiction, provide life change and resources, and you can donate right now by visiting our GoFundMe link in the show news. We are so grateful you've joined us on this important journey. Now let's get into today's conversation. 

Wendy Beck 0:38
We're here today with another um, guest for a National Recovery Month. We have Shelby and Shelby's going to tell us a little bit about her recovery story and what she's doing today in the recovery community. Hi Shelby, 

Shelby 0:52
Hi Wendy, hi Rich. 

Rich Bennett 0:54
Hello. 

Wendy Beck 0:55
We're just going to jump right on into it. Um, I think the best, how long have you been in recovery? 

Shelby 1:02
This time, um, three and a half years. 

Wendy Beck 1:06
Three and a half years, so I guess that's what we met three and a half years ago. 

Shelby 1:10
Working on four. 

Wendy Beck 1:11
Working on four. Congratulations. 

Rich Bennett 1:13
You'll get the 4 and 5 and 10 and 20. 

Wendy Beck 1:17
One day 

Rich Bennett 1:18
at a time. One, 

Shelby 1:18
One day at a time. One minute at a 

Rich Bennett 1:19
yeah. 

Shelby 1:20
time, some days. 

Wendy Beck 1:21
Right and yeah. So Shelby was a resident at one of our houses and she came in from treatment, right? So can you tell us a little bit about coming into daughters out, the daughter's house program and you know, we'll just kind of share a bit about your story, 

Shelby 1:38
your, 

Wendy Beck 1:39
your time before, 

Shelby 1:41
okay. 

Wendy Beck 1:41
And then what you're doing now. 

Shelby 1:43
Okay. So, um, I'm in front of my Easter in shore from Ken County, Maryland from Rock Hall. So I grew up in like the Boondocks where, you know, the closest Walmart, the closest highways in our way. So eight years ago, I was sent over to Baltimore to the, I guess, city county line, then with the program there and I ended up getting four years clean, um, did everything they tell you to do but I started working in recovery in a treatment center, become a supervisor and you know that, that took up all my time. That was my new addiction, working and the help everybody else, you know. So I stopped doing what they say, going to meet and stop talking my sponsor, stop networking, um, but one of the main things mental health is tied in with my disease, right? I stopped taking my mental 

Wendy Beck 2:41
home. Oh, I didn't know you did that. Okay. Do you, can you, can you say why? 

Shelby 2:48
Because work was more important, I didn't want to take off together. 

Wendy Beck 2:51
Okay. 

Shelby 2:52
It's like working there. I mean, totally was like my new addiction. Like it was almost as bad as drugs, simple stuff because then people needed me, you know, again, I forgot about myself. Like I wasn't doing the simple things they tell us to do. You know, and here I'm telling everybody all these clients, well, you need to do this, this, and I'm, 

Rich Bennett 3:16
and you weren't doing it yourself. 

Shelby 3:17
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 3:18
If you know mommy asked you, you said for your mental health, was it for anxiety or depression? 

Shelby 3:24
By polar, you know, 

Rich Bennett 3:25
Okay. 

Shelby 3:25
um, I mean, my feeling is on that, that a lot of people have mental health when it comes to addiction. 

Rich Bennett 3:32
Mm hmm. 

Shelby 3:33
Um, you know, and of course, I, again, how I feel is like doctors always like diagnosis and throw 

Rich Bennett 3:41
us. 

Shelby 3:41
pills at 

Rich Bennett 3:42
Yes. 

Shelby 3:42
Yeah. You know, um, that was my first drug dealer. It was a doctor pretty, 

Rich Bennett 3:45
mmm, 

Shelby 3:46
by giving me a script. 

Wendy Beck 3:48
I'm 

Shelby 3:48
When 

Wendy Beck 3:48
told, were you? Do you know? 

Shelby 3:50
Uh, 18. 

Wendy Beck 3:51
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 3:52
Wow. 

Shelby 3:52
Yeah. Um. Yeah. So it's like, and then I paid a dollar for like 60, 90 pills of perks like, you know, so sure. 

Rich Bennett 4:02
Yeah. 

Shelby 4:02
Yes. So like the drug, my first drug dealer was a doctor. And that's how I feel. A lot of people end up getting hooked because these doctors put you on all these medicines, which I'm not saying you don't need them, but they forget to tell you how that they take your life over and how if you just stop taking them, how sick you're going to be and, you know, and you can buy them off the streets, but the price is ridiculous. So that's why a lot of people go to heroin. 

Rich Bennett 4:32
If you know what I'm asking, how many different prescriptions did they have you on? 

Shelby 4:36
Um, 

Rich Bennett 4:36
and why perks for bipolar? I never heard. 

Shelby 4:39
No, not for my mental health. 

Rich Bennett 4:41
Okay. 

Shelby 4:41
I broke my shoulder. 

Rich Bennett 4:43
Oh, 

Shelby 4:43
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 4:44
okay. 

Shelby 4:44
But what I'm saying is they, they just like, I feel like doctors just like to give you take a pill for us, take a 

Rich Bennett 4:49
Like 

Shelby 4:49
pill for that. 

Rich Bennett 4:49
it's candy. 

Shelby 4:50
But like you said, they don't tell you the long term of that. 

Rich Bennett 4:54
Yeah. 

Shelby 4:54
You know? Um. 

Wendy Beck 4:55
Right. 

Shelby 4:56
I was born in Attic. I'm a sick person and I really didn't realize it. Don't like a couple of years in. But yeah, I told my mother I wouldn't come to Christmas one day unless she gave me two darkest sets. Because she had to like nobody in my family or I had I'm the one I am that black sheet on both sides. 

So anyway I started the job I relapsed after celebrating four years 

Rich Bennett 5:30
late. 

Wendy Beck 5:32
Relapsed in Baltimore City. 

Shelby 5:34
I did. But then I moved back home. 

Wendy Beck 5:37
Okay. 

Shelby 5:37
But I relapsed for two months. And you know they they say, you know, in our products that you're fine. Your whole gets deeper and deeper every time. So like this was the shortest run I've ever had in between my times two months. Like that's very short for me. 

Wendy Beck 5:59
Okay. 

Shelby 6:01
But just in that two month period, I am. It was the bottom of my life. 

Because my family was proud of me. You know, I have two children because they're older now. Like you know when they were my mom took care of my mom's that. But like older now they're allowed to have their 

Rich Bennett 6:22
emotions it. 

Shelby 6:23
about But yeah, that two months was crazy. 

Wendy Beck 6:28
And you were back on the Eastern Shore 

Shelby 6:30
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 6:30
at that time. 

Shelby 6:31
And then you know, my dad has always been like my biggest supporter. And you know he kept trying to talk to me. And finally my brother got through to me. And he's like I made something because my brother had some issues. And anyway, he made some phone calls and he was like, so this is what the plan is. You're going to go do this cycle. And then you're going to go break to treatment. And you know people in my network, people I work with were willing to pay for me to go through follow more. 

Rich Bennett 7:10
And 

Wendy Beck 7:11
did 

Shelby 7:11
I did not 

Rich Bennett 7:12
you. 

Shelby 7:12
because number one, quite a lot of money. 

Wendy Beck 7:16
Right. 

Shelby 7:17
Number two, I don't I don't think they had a bed quite yet. And I needed to go bed to bed. So I ended up handed myself up here and MRP and back up a little bit. I met Rachel when I went to that program in the city. Hope so I said she was actually 

Wendy Beck 7:39
working. Yes. Yes. 

Shelby 7:40
So it was crazy. So, 

Rich Bennett 7:42
is there anybody that doesn't know Rachel? 

Shelby 7:46
She's like famous. 

Rich Bennett 7:47
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 7:47
Because she's so 

Shelby 7:49
very. 

Rich Bennett 7:50
She is. 

Shelby 7:52
So when I went to MRP, I know I can't go back home because it's not even like, know, there's drug dealers everywhere 

Rich Bennett 8:02
you 

Shelby 8:02
because it's such a small town. But I know, I know where they are. So like they don't stand on the corners and sling like they do here. 

Rich Bennett 8:11
Right. 

Shelby 8:11
They just don't. You got to know somebody. I believe that my whole life. So I know I'm all. So I knew I couldn't go back there and plus my family, they don't want me to come back. Which can't play mom. So come to MRP. And then you know, my time is getting close. And I just didn't know what I wanted to do. It's like, shame the guilt. The ego. Like I didn't want to go back down towards the city. 

Rich Bennett 8:36
right. 

Shelby 8:37
And then my counselor was like, what about rage against addiction daughters house. And I was like, you know, at this point it was just like whatever. 

Rich Bennett 8:47
Right. 

Wendy Beck 8:48
Somewhere. 

Shelby 8:49
Right. Because I need to be safe. And they said, well, you're going to talk to Rachel. And I used to go back and forth with Rachel when I worked at 

Wendy Beck 8:58
Horizon. 

Shelby 8:59
about when she had left there and I started working there. We used to talk about clients like 

Rich Bennett 9:05
Right 

Shelby 9:05
bring them up here. Then bring them that. And they said, Rachel's like, okay, you know, and I kind of felt like like a 

Wendy Beck 9:15
sigh of relief kind. 

Shelby 9:16
Yes, that yes. A sign of relief, because it's somebody, somebody I knew 

Wendy Beck 9:20
Right. 

Shelby 9:20
I knew she was a good person, like so I did the application for rage. And I made the daughter's house. 

Wendy Beck 9:29
Okay. And so that's where we met. 

Shelby 9:31
That's where I met. 

Wendy Beck 9:32
But can we back up just a little bit if 

Shelby 9:34
Sure. 

Wendy Beck 9:34
that's okay. Because, you know, you started using the the park is that when you were 18 and from 18 until that that relapse, there's there's a 

Shelby 9:44
story. Yes. 

Wendy Beck 9:45
And I know it's, it's a hard story. Because you were mom, your mom and you're a wife. And that journey wasn't always easy. 

Shelby 9:59
So, I was with a guy for, over 20 years. 

Rich Bennett 10:05
wow, 

Shelby 10:05
We never married. 

Wendy Beck 10:06
Okay. 

Shelby 10:07
Um, um, 

Wendy Beck 10:08
But you 

Shelby 10:09
mine's 

Wendy Beck 10:09
were, 

Shelby 10:09
well abandoned. 

Wendy Beck 10:10
right? 

Shelby 10:11
when we had him, money handled. 

Wendy Beck 10:13
Well, 

Shelby 10:13
Um, he was, we started dating when I was 18, he was 18 too. Um, 

we at first, it was like, right, the first like year or two. But then, like, it got so toxic. You know, and I am not the victim here. He did not make me do anything. But the way we were toxic, like, he would be clean, I'd be using. And then he, you know, 

Wendy Beck 10:41
Right. 

Shelby 10:41
it's like 

Rich Bennett 10:41
he saw back and 

Shelby 10:42
Yeah, that's all, that's just what we did for the next 

Rich Bennett 10:44
did. 

Shelby 10:44
like 18 years. 

Wendy Beck 10:46
Okay. 

Shelby 10:47
Um, you know, I had, I had a daughter, which he was not the father. He knew that. Um, that's a whole different story that wasn't 

Wendy Beck 10:56
up. No, 

Shelby 10:56
put 

Wendy Beck 10:57
no, we don't have to. 

Shelby 10:58
Yeah. Um, anyway, he knew, but he loved that little girl more than anything in this world. 

Wendy Beck 11:04
You 

Shelby 11:05
know, he, just like myself, he would show up. when we could show up, if that makes sense, 

Rich Bennett 11:12
Like, 

Shelby 11:13
like, he's just never know. My mom had my daughter. When I was eight months pregnant, I, um, they sent me, actually, I was taking a lot of pain meds because that's around the time that they had given them before I got pregnant. So I was hooked on them. So I got sent to baby, and I went, it was, um, the women's women and children. Um, they put me on methadone. I, um, finished that program went back home. I was still going to a methadone clinic. I was on 160 milligrams. 

Wendy Beck 11:48
Well, 

Shelby 11:49
and I gave birth to Gabrielle. Um, crazy thing is. She, they were prepared to like give her methadone 

Rich Bennett 12:00
Right. 

Shelby 12:00
because, you know, 

Wendy Beck 12:01
because that's high, right? 

Shelby 12:03
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 12:03
Well, I knew, but I just wanted to 

Shelby 12:05
Crazy 

Wendy Beck 12:05
confirm. 

Shelby 12:05
thing is she didn't need 

Wendy Beck 12:07
anything. Huh. 

Shelby 12:08
She did not withdraw from anything. 

Wendy Beck 12:11
Wow. 

Shelby 12:11
Even like, they can withdraw from like tobacco. They can withdraw from caffeine. 

Wendy Beck 12:18
Wow. 

Shelby 12:19
Yeah. Um, that, I mean, it didn't matter really. And within fight, time she was born until she was two like, she got really bad. Like, I mean, my whole, it just got crazy. You know, um, luckily the mother and family I have took her in. Um, you know, and it was just in and out of her life for the next six years, um, as well as David, you know, we were just in and out. Um, a lot of things happened in between. 

Wendy Beck 12:58
I'm sure 

Shelby 12:58
You know, I can't, 

Wendy Beck 13:00
we don't 

Shelby 13:00
I 

Wendy Beck 13:00
need 

Shelby 13:00
can't remember everything 

Wendy Beck 13:01
right. 

Shelby 13:02
because I was high, you know, um, so then six years later, six, six, eight years later, I get pregnant again. And it is David's child. Um, and I was shooting a lot of speedballs, which is cocaine and heroin and, um, I also was taken methadone because I'm like, well, I took that thing with Gabrielle being pregnant. She was fine, whatever, whatever. Um, I never even went to the doctor, but like one time 

Wendy Beck 13:35
when 

Rich Bennett 13:35
pregnant 

Wendy Beck 13:35
you were 

Rich Bennett 13:36
while you were pregnant. Wow, 

Shelby 13:37
yeah, like that's, 

Rich Bennett 13:38
mean, 

Shelby 13:38
I 

Wendy Beck 13:40
right. 

Shelby 13:41
Like, um, so I had Andrew. 

Wendy Beck 13:46
And how was he? How was he? Was he okay? 

Shelby 13:49
The first two days, he's great. That third day hit him. 

Wendy Beck 13:54
Oh, and 

Shelby 13:55
the cry I will never forget. he was in withdrawals. 

Rich Bennett 14:00
Oh, 

Shelby 14:00
Of course, you know, they do blood work and this that, you know, when a baby is born, um, he had. 

Rich Bennett 14:07
The third day, were you guys in the hospital 

Shelby 14:09
Yes, 

Rich Bennett 14:09
or? 

Shelby 14:10
we were supposed to be released that day. 

Rich Bennett 14:12
Oh, 

Shelby 14:12
good. 

Rich Bennett 14:12
okay, 

Shelby 14:13
Um, he, um, he just, he was going through which all severely. Like, I'll never forget that cry, but if I'm going to be 100% honest with you, I didn't care. I just, 

Wendy Beck 14:25
he didn't care. 

Shelby 14:26
I need it, Dave is bringing me some more shit up to the 

Rich Bennett 14:29
house. Wow. 

Wendy Beck 14:30
Was he bringing stuff to the hospital? 

Shelby 14:32
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 14:32
Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's a whole different world. 

Shelby 14:35
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 14:35
Yeah, 

Shelby 14:35
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's like, um, so they told me that they call social services in child protective services. I was on pit mother. Um, they in charge me. 

Wendy Beck 14:50
Okay. 

Shelby 14:50
But we had to send him to Christianity. Um, children's hospital, because his withdrawals were so bad. And went and nick you there. 

Rich Bennett 14:57
Delaware 

Wendy Beck 14:59
right? Yes. 

Shelby 15:01
Um, so, um, my. 

I had to sign over my rights. I was not allowed to be with him alone. I could go the hospital to go see him in Christianity. But I had to be with somebody. Somebody had to be with me. But you know, the crazy thing is they transport it. Andrew by ambulance. And then they just charged me. And do you know I stopped by the drug dealer's house right. It's a Christian. You see that baby. 

Rich Bennett 15:32
You're 

Wendy Beck 15:35
sick. 

Rich Bennett 15:35
And I think a lot of people don't realize that I was thinking about this the other day because you have some, excuse my language, but you have some hand holes out there. Say, Oh, people can just quit anytime they want new. You can't. It's it. Get you in the. It doesn't want to let go. And 

Shelby 15:51
it and no. Like I was raised with morals, 

Rich Bennett 15:55
yeah. 

Shelby 15:55
I'm a good person. Like I really am. As soon as I get one in me and I even say when I share meetings, if my kids stand behind my car, when I'm locked in loaded, I run them over. 

Rich Bennett 16:07
Yeah. 

Shelby 16:08
No, I mean, that's how sick 

Rich Bennett 16:10
because you're not in your right mind. It takes out, like I said, it takes over everything. 

Shelby 16:14
you think about too. Like 

Rich Bennett 16:15
Yeah, 

Shelby 16:15
you can't even think about 

Rich Bennett 16:17
something. 

Shelby 16:17
Because you're sitting here crying. Mommy, please don't go and you're like. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You know, um, 

Wendy Beck 16:24
so did your mom take him? 

Shelby 16:26
Well, mom, yes. 

Wendy Beck 16:27
Okay. 

Shelby 16:28
Um, so it cost the oven. Until this day, my mom still got custody of the problem. I mean, he's 15 now. He's a perfect little boy. He's not even little anymore. He's a big boy. But, um, luckily 

Rich Bennett 16:41
Good. 

Shelby 16:41
he had no, like side effects from like an even Gabrielle, like 

Wendy Beck 16:46
Right. 

Shelby 16:46
I have two beautiful children. Um, but again, it didn't matter because it still ran for another. Like I said, I used to have 20 years. Gabrielle's 22 and Andrew's 15 so 

Wendy Beck 16:57
Right. 

Shelby 16:57
their whole life. 

Rich Bennett 16:58
Wow. 

Shelby 16:59
So 

Wendy Beck 17:03
speed up. Okay, well, in between there. Plus, 

Shelby 17:07
yes. Um, I got a phone call from Gabrielle. And to be honest with you, I was in the bathroom shooting coach when she called me. Um, my dad actually answered the phone. He's like Gabrielle's on the phone. I was like, tell her, call her back. And he's like, I think you need to answer the phone. And I got on the line. And she was like, Mommy, I just heard on the scan and she's like, I think that is dead. 

Rich Bennett 17:29
Oh, man. 

Wendy Beck 17:29
Oh, wow. 

Shelby 17:30
And first thing I thought was, yeah, I better. 

Rich Bennett 17:35
I 

Shelby 17:36
go to the room and they did. Um, 

Wendy Beck 17:40
to where you guys living together. 

Shelby 17:42
No, he actually had a whole nother girlfriend. 

Wendy Beck 17:45
Oh, okay. 

Shelby 17:45
But it was one of those things where we that would happen, but then we'd always work things out together. But 

Rich Bennett 17:53
Right. 

Shelby 17:53
I think at this point in our addictions for both of us. I didn't really care anymore. 

Wendy Beck 17:57
Right. You were 

Shelby 17:58
My, my love was me getting high. That, that's all I cared 

Rich Bennett 18:02
right. 

Shelby 18:02
about. And the same 

Rich Bennett 18:03
But 

Shelby 18:03
liquid. 

Rich Bennett 18:04
he 

Shelby 18:04
did live with another girl and she had a family. Um, and you know, I have suspicions about that. But I, that's another. 

Wendy Beck 18:11
It doesn't matter at this point. 

Shelby 18:12
right. Matter. 

Wendy Beck 18:13
Right, 

Shelby 18:13
Um, when I got there, they told me. 

Yeah, a lot of people were there. And I waited until the corner finally got there. It's first time I've ever seen some lights up the body bag. 

Rich Bennett 18:27
Oh, 

Shelby 18:28
the crazy thing is that last zip. felt like a piece of my soul went 

Rich Bennett 18:33
I 

Shelby 18:34
out because like he was the love of my life. 

So, you know, I, I wanted to die. I just, I just wanted to die. So, you know, for the next, I think it was like a month and a half like I did. So I, I don't know why I am sitting here. Obviously somebody had a purpose for me 

Rich Bennett 18:58
because 

Shelby 18:59
I should be dead. This shit I was putting in my body because I wanted to die. I just, but I was too much of a coward to commit suicide. Like I, I wanted the easy way out. know, 

Rich Bennett 19:09
Yeah, 

Shelby 19:10
you 

Rich Bennett 19:10
you 

Shelby 19:10
know, um, never happened. Um, and that's when, um, I'm a fan of later, I, 

Rich Bennett 19:17
I think 

Shelby 19:18
my family is very scared that I was going to hurt myself, which that that's not part of my story. Like, I've never hurt, harmed myself. I don't, I just have it. 

Wendy Beck 19:28
Just 

Rich Bennett 19:28
Right. 

Wendy Beck 19:28
because you weren't so much pain. 

Shelby 19:29
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 19:30
Okay. 

Shelby 19:30
But like have I had bleeding thoughts go through my brain? Yeah. I mean, like one of these things, what would happen if I did this or what would happen, you know, but no, I just, I wanted the drugs to come. But they had different plans. Um, and that's when I went to Baltimore and went to hopes and that journey began. 

Wendy Beck 19:51
Okay, and so now you're, you're going to come to daughter's house. 

OK. 

Shelby 20:09
You know, but the thing is I always went because my mom and dad made me because I got pregnant with Gabrielle or you know, it was just like I was not ready. I like it. 

Rich Bennett 20:19
Yeah, 

Shelby 20:20
like, I just wasn't ready. I. You know, when the pain gets great enough, my pain obviously wasn't great enough. Um, so 

Wendy Beck 20:30
what made it, what it made this time when your brother said this is the plan, were you relieved? Or were you just kind of doing what you always had done by following what they wanted you to do? 

Shelby 20:41
I feel like I was kind of relieved because like I just figured it's the end, like I don't even care anymore, but like for my brother to come to be and like he was mean about it too, like he was nice and gentle. 

Wendy Beck 20:56
like right, 

Shelby 20:56
Like he was which 

Rich Bennett 20:57
that, 

Shelby 20:57
I 

Rich Bennett 20:58
like I need 

Shelby 20:58
needed 

Rich Bennett 20:58
that 

Shelby 20:59
stuff. It was kind of a relief because I had already lived for years 

Wendy Beck 21:04
with 

Shelby 21:04
different way of life. You 

Wendy Beck 21:07
and 

Shelby 21:07
know, 

Wendy Beck 21:07
right, you knew what would look 

Shelby 21:09
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 21:09
like. OK. 

Shelby 21:10
And it was 

Wendy Beck 21:11
And that was the 

Rich Bennett 21:11
good. 

Wendy Beck 21:12
first 

Shelby 21:12
It 

Wendy Beck 21:12
time 

Shelby 21:12
was great. I, I'm this. 

Wendy Beck 21:14
right. 

Shelby 21:14
Yeah, I mean, first time I've ever got a lot of clean time. I mean, I've had the 36th, the 19th, 36th, 

Wendy Beck 21:20
right? OK. 

Shelby 21:21
But like I did things differently. So, um, you know, and through these years, like both of my kids are growing up, you know, so when I relapse, and before I come the rage, you know, they were so mad at me. They didn't want to talk to me. And, you know, I always used to think my mom was a bitch because it's like that bitch woman to see my kids. She was only doing it to protect them. 

Wendy Beck 21:46
Right. 

Shelby 21:50
So then when I come to rage, 

Wendy Beck 21:52
well, that's not the show behind. 

Shelby 21:55
I come to rage and yeah, I was scared. I didn't know people from this area 

Wendy Beck 22:00
Right. 

Shelby 22:00
was scary. I'm not going to change. 

Rich Bennett 22:02
Right. Yeah. 

Shelby 22:02
I get beard up real easy. Um, and I'm going to be honest with you, Wendy and Rachel have been absolutely amazing to me. And I know they're amazing to all 

Rich Bennett 22:16
women. 

Shelby 22:16
the Um, because they push us to see something in ourselves that we don't, we don't see 

Rich Bennett 22:24
Yeah. 

Shelby 22:24
looking in a mirror. Like, when I look in the mirror, I see a junkie. It's not so much anymore. 

Rich Bennett 22:30
Right. 

Shelby 22:30
It's a process. But I um, they seen something else in me, you know. 

Rich Bennett 22:36
To bring it to light where you see it eventually. 

Shelby 22:38
Right. And the way with their words 

Rich Bennett 22:41
like, 

Wendy Beck 22:41
you 

Shelby 22:41
you know, 

Wendy Beck 22:42
know, I, 

Shelby 22:42
I have seen people talk to Rachel in ways where I wanted to get out and put my hands on them. 

Wendy Beck 22:50
It's just to mean like being aggressive. 

Shelby 22:51
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 22:52
Right. 

Shelby 22:53
At herself and Rachel's like, okay, superior ballad. When you're ready to talk like, no, I was like, like, what? 

Wendy Beck 23:02
So it was different. 

Shelby 23:04
So yeah. Like because she they genuinely care. 

Rich Bennett 23:07
Um, 

Shelby 23:08
you know, when do you used to stop by? You know, we chit chat. And then I was asked. They open the cottage. 

Wendy Beck 23:15
Which was our first maintenance 

Shelby 23:17
it's 

Wendy Beck 23:17
house, 

Shelby 23:17
first maintenance house. 

Wendy Beck 23:18
Which you were not, you were not on maintenance. 

Shelby 23:21
I am not. 

Wendy Beck 23:22
No. No, you were not. Maintenance 

Shelby 23:25
is the, 

Wendy Beck 23:25
is the methadone, 

Shelby 23:26
a method 

Wendy Beck 23:26
the 

Shelby 23:26
in 

Wendy Beck 23:26
suboxoon? 

Shelby 23:27
suboxoon, 

Wendy Beck 23:27
That's 

Shelby 23:27
sublocate shot. 

Wendy Beck 23:28
It's a, what is it called? Medically assisted. 

Shelby 23:32
Matt, 

Wendy Beck 23:33
Treatment 

Shelby 23:33
yeah, Matt, 

Wendy Beck 23:34
therapy or therapy treatment. Something like that. So it's, it's just like taking medicine over the drug, 

Shelby 23:40
yeah. 

Wendy Beck 23:40
basically. So, and a lot of people, that has a bad stigma as well. So opening a house for that was a little bit intimidating for 

Rich Bennett 23:47
Right? 

Wendy Beck 23:47
us. And then she'll be, you know, was familiar with the process, so she said that she would supervise these ladies. Which was 

Shelby 23:58
a 

Wendy Beck 23:59
lot. 

Shelby 23:59
Yeah. Yeah. You know, cause again, I am an addict too. You know, I, you know, you get clean, you don't get 

Rich Bennett 24:06
perfect. 

Shelby 24:06
don't, I don't believe in perfect, but anyway. 

Wendy Beck 24:08
I 

Shelby 24:10
You know, the thing is, is that being on maintenance. I've been on maintenance before years ago. It just didn't work for me. 

Rich Bennett 24:18
Right? 

Shelby 24:19
You know, 

Wendy Beck 24:19
you were when you were pregnant, right? 

Shelby 24:20
Yeah. And then, you know, for three years after the baby, but the thing was I was taking methadone, so I didn't take opiates. But I'm smoking crack with the methadone. 

Wendy Beck 24:29
Okay. 

Shelby 24:29
So it just didn't work for me. 

Wendy Beck 24:31
Okay. 

Shelby 24:32
So yeah, so I started running this house when these are coming over more and Rachel said to me one day, she said, I don't know what you've done to Wendy and like, what do you mean? Like 

Rich Bennett 24:43
more. 

Shelby 24:43
what? 

Wendy Beck 24:44
And what I don't know. 

Shelby 24:44
She was like, she's. Never got in this close to one of our clients. And I was like, really? 

Wendy Beck 24:53
Well, we're friends 

Shelby 24:55
and we are and I am so grateful for Tavernby in my life as well as for you. 

Rich Bennett 25:00
Yeah. 

Shelby 25:01
Because they are ones that can tell me. The truth. Even though I'm not wanting to hear it. But the way they're doing it because I know it's from my best intention. They're doing it out of Karen in love. 

Rich Bennett 25:16
It's coming from the heart for me. 

Shelby 25:17
It absolutely 

Wendy Beck 25:18
is. Well, and if we can talk about this a little bit, 'cause I think that this is a really a really important thing, that during that time, and you went from being a resident to being a 

Shelby 25:27
house 

Wendy Beck 25:27
But you also had some health 

Shelby 25:30
manager. 

Wendy Beck 25:30
issues. So it was a blessing that she was there because she actually couldn't work because of your diabetes like your blood sugar and all kinds of stuff. So being at the house was kind of like a reset for you in a lot of ways. 

Shelby 25:49
It's like everything I could have went wrong in the first two years, like kind of dead. I had some heart problems, I had diabetes. I went through a stage, which I'm still in anxiety. I've never had anxiety a day. 

Rich Bennett 26:04
And 

Shelby 26:05
now 

Rich Bennett 26:06
I 

Shelby 26:06
sat in the house pretending straight. I wouldn't walk outside because of my fear of just the world. I would like to see it go away, and maybe it has a little bit, but I still have a lot of fear. 

I think. 

Wendy Beck 26:21
Did you ever pinpoint why? 

Rich Bennett 26:23
This 

Shelby 26:25
is 

Rich Bennett 26:25
what I 

Shelby 26:25
So 

Rich Bennett 26:25
think. 

Shelby 26:26
I started using, you know, what back in the late 90s, right? 

Wendy Beck 26:31
Okay. 

Shelby 26:32
Things have changed so much. 

Rich Bennett 26:34
Oh, yeah. 

Shelby 26:34
From me being an 18 year old in the 90s, to be being a 

Rich Bennett 26:39
47 year 

Shelby 26:40
old in 2025. Like the whole world's just gone man. I feel like. 

Wendy Beck 26:45
Okay. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 26:46
Well, throughout those years. A lot of stuff. You should always cloud it too because of the addiction. 

Shelby 26:51
Exactly. Like I was I was still stuck at that 18 

Rich Bennett 26:55
Yeah. 

Shelby 26:55
year old. And 

Rich Bennett 26:55
And 

Shelby 26:55
I 

Rich Bennett 26:55
I still 

Shelby 26:55
still today. 

Rich Bennett 26:56
I, 

Shelby 26:57
you know, I argue back and forth with my daughter and my mom's like, stop. You're the mother. Why are you arguing back force with her? I'm like, yeah. 

Wendy Beck 27:05
Cause you never really learned how to. 

Shelby 27:06
I know. 

Rich Bennett 27:07
Right. 

Shelby 27:07
No. I mean, I've seen my mom, I've seen my friends, I don't like. But I just and I felt like an old like my kids something. You know, my mom told me one day cause Gabrielle really got him now. 

Wendy Beck 27:21
I 

Shelby 27:21
she said something one day and my mother was like, do not let her speak 

Rich Bennett 27:24
wanted 

Shelby 27:24
to you like that. And I'm like, mom, I just feel like I owe her. Like, and she's like, you owe her nothing. But to keep your ass clean. That's all you are her. Cause I can't take the past back. 

Rich Bennett 27:35
Right. Right. It's 

Shelby 27:36
done. 

Rich Bennett 27:36
done. It's 

Shelby 27:36
All I can do is make it better. Um, what were we at? 

Wendy Beck 27:43
So you're in the 

Shelby 27:44
You're 

Wendy Beck 27:44
house. struggling with some health issues. And that's kind of where we became friends. 

Shelby 27:49
Right. 

Wendy Beck 27:50
Because she is, you know, she's running the house as a house manager, which at the cottage at the time. We had four residents in a house manager. So it was a small group of women, but it was also kind of like our pilot program. 

Rich Bennett 28:03
Right. 

Wendy Beck 28:04
So like we had to kind of figure out how to do it. And you know, and I don't want to say this wrong. But 

when you're on maintenance, you've had a rough road. And so like you just said, the maturity level of some of these women is not to where they should be in terms of like their, their life and their age and that stuff. So they're a lot harder to manage. Um, so we were really thankful that you were there, but you're struggling at the same time and she has like extreme anxiety. She doesn't really know what to do with that. So we, I think we worked through it. We helped work through it. You know, you had your, your, your doctors and all that kind of stuff. But I think we were there to kind 

Shelby 28:51
Absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 28:51
of like guide you through that a little bit. 

Shelby 28:54
Yeah, because I would, I would be like, uh, cancel the appointment. But like when I would ask you are Rachel to take me, you're like, nope, I'll be there at one. Like, 

Wendy Beck 29:05
because 

Shelby 29:06
that's what I do, right. I need people to tell me, I mean, I am I believe 47 year old woman, but I don't, I don't know shit. Like I'm still stuck back in my teenage years. Because I got like that that's what my life consists. 

Wendy Beck 29:23
Well, but now you're what you said almost four years, three 

Shelby 29:27
change. 

Wendy Beck 29:27
and 

Shelby 29:28
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 29:28
three and some 

Shelby 29:28
November before God. 

Wendy Beck 29:29
Okay. Okay. And in your time during. 

tell him what she calls you, okay. So when I was, like, young, my friend was a nanny for these very wealthy people. Right. And I had a 

Shelby 30:02
to go help her for a week and we took the two children to the grandma and they called her O. W. 

Rich Bennett 30:09
O. 

Shelby 30:10
W. Old, wonderful one and I love it. And I was like I never had grandchildren and I want that to be. 

Rich Bennett 30:18
Old, wonderful one. 

Shelby 30:20
So wonderful 

Rich Bennett 30:21
Is 

Shelby 30:21
ones. 

Rich Bennett 30:21
she Native American? 

Shelby 30:22
Like British or something, I believe. I said, 

Rich Bennett 30:25
yeah, really interesting. 

Shelby 30:26
yeah, 

Rich Bennett 30:26
Oh, well, I like, I've never heard that. 

Shelby 30:29
So, um, and mind you, my daughter and I kind of clash sometimes what we used 

Rich Bennett 30:34
to. Right. 

Wendy Beck 30:36
Which is understandable. 

Shelby 30:37
Yeah, absolutely. Because they get 

Wendy Beck 30:38
you 

Rich Bennett 30:39
anyway. 

Wendy Beck 30:39
do 

Rich Bennett 30:39
You're human. 

Shelby 30:40
And they're allowed to feel how they want feel about what I've done their whole life. Because 

Rich Bennett 30:45
she 

Shelby 30:45
told me she said if you relax, you will not see your grand child. And I'd be honest with you, I really don't like kids. And I mean, I love, I love them, but they're very needy. I'm still a needy person. 

But that's 

Wendy Beck 31:01
not the same. 

Shelby 31:02
Yeah, it's just different. Like, I like kids, but I don't like kids. If that makes sense. 

Rich Bennett 31:06
That would make sense. 

Shelby 31:07
So I was excited. But then at the same time, I was scared for her. Um, and then, you know, we start talking like every day, every other day, I check and see how she was feeling. Um, she was supposed to, you know, give birth into the hospital for two days and the baby just did not want to come out. So, um, 

Rich Bennett 31:30
yeah, so 

Shelby 31:31
she finally had her. And my whole family's like, light hair, light, like blue, 

Wendy Beck 31:38
blonde, 

Shelby 31:38
green eyes. And here comes this little baby with the biggest brown eyes and the darkest hair. Her father's try. 

Rich Bennett 31:46
Oh, 

Shelby 31:46
first like brown had baby we've ever had. And the moment I laid eyes on that little girl, it was like, almost like a band-aid head put over my heart. From David, 

Wendy Beck 31:57
no, 

Shelby 31:58
there has, well, it has been now for the first year there had, there was on a day that went by that I am face time with my 

Rich Bennett 32:06
right? 

Shelby 32:06
baby, And it still can't be like that. But now, you know, brie else getting older, but um, hello, girls, just a love of my life. I love my kids, but to something about 

Wendy Beck 32:19
something that 

Shelby 32:19
that. 

Wendy Beck 32:20
changed 

Shelby 32:20
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 32:20
inside of you. 

Shelby 32:21
And my daughter trusted me enough when I went home a couple of weeks ago to keep her overnight by 

Wendy Beck 32:27
oh, 

Shelby 32:27
my, 

Rich Bennett 32:27
she spoiled her, don't 

Shelby 32:29
She does know wrong. And she does know wrong, and I don't care. 

Wendy Beck 32:34
you? 

Shelby 32:34
She does know wrong. But you know, neither do my kids. 

Rich Bennett 32:37
Yeah, you 

Shelby 32:38
know, my son is the apple of my eye. I mean, Gabrielle's the apple of my week. We clash a little bit. But, um, yeah. And, you know, a great You know, I have nieces and nephews who've seen Aunt Shelby high, but then I have younger ones that have never seen me high. And, you know, one of my niece is sitting at Shelby. I thought you were crazy because of the drug. She's like, but you're just crazy. Cause I like to have a good time. I like to laugh. Um, I'm not very good at biting my tongue. 

Rich Bennett 33:11
Like, mm hmm, speak. 

Shelby 33:12
And like, my, my niece is in that he's like, they love, they love this. Shelby, you know, 

Rich Bennett 33:19
yeah, um, 

Shelby 33:20
rather than one 

Wendy Beck 33:21
yes, we do. 

Shelby 33:21
Stay on their pay ye banks and little bank cards and shit. Cause that's what I did. Um, you know, and like the, 

Rich Bennett 33:29
you know, that we're 

Shelby 33:32
going on a family dedication. Emerald beach in September. It's like, I don't know how many it's a lot of, um, I was the first one to pay my mom. Cause, you know, she booked it. I was a. 

Wendy Beck 33:48
But, how did that 

Shelby 33:48
Oh 

Wendy Beck 33:48
feel? 

Shelby 33:49
my god, it feels great. Um, you know, 

Wendy Beck 33:52
would you have been invited to go? 

Shelby 33:55
Hell no, 

Wendy Beck 33:56
Right. 

Shelby 33:57
no, I wouldn't even had their money. 

Rich Bennett 33:58
They wouldn't even told, 

Shelby 33:59
yeah, no, no, you're right. 

Rich Bennett 34:02
Yeah. 

Shelby 34:03
Um, but like, they're the things that are worse than. 

Rich Bennett 34:08
Yeah, 

Shelby 34:08
you know, um, and people will help you. You're helping yourself while being at rage. Um, I forgot to say my first card at stolen when I live in my whole life. Oh, and for four years, nothing ever happened. I moved up here in the damn car gets stolen 

Rich Bennett 34:26
up here. 

Wendy Beck 34:31
I don't think I've got it 

Shelby 34:35
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 34:36
back 

Wendy Beck 34:37
either. 

Shelby 34:37
They never could find it and there was no sense. Did they find a person to talk it? Yeah, eventually, but the thing is it was no point in me. Right. 

still using number two it was a 2004 Honda it wouldn't have gotten a lot of money it would have cost me more money if I got lawyers 

Rich Bennett 34:57
right 

Wendy Beck 34:57
and you weren't getting anything 

Shelby 34:58
it was just like whatever yeah at that 

Rich Bennett 35:01
for 

Shelby 35:01
point so my mom went out and got me another car like 

Rich Bennett 35:06
yeah 

Shelby 35:06
a little spaceship I don't know how to wear half the buttons but but the thing is 

Wendy Beck 35:11
like 

Shelby 35:12
some shit went wrong with it it was gonna cost me a lot of 

Rich Bennett 35:14
money 

Shelby 35:15
and like people helped you know because I didn't have that much money know my my dad you know he helps me he helped me when 

Rich Bennett 35:26
you 

Shelby 35:26
you know but like the thing is I can pay that money back now 

Rich Bennett 35:31
people see helping yourself they're going to help you 

Shelby 35:34
you know far as like rage Wendy Rachel like I am forever grateful for like 

Wendy Beck 35:41
and 

Shelby 35:41
they are my family they might not be blood but they are my family I mean met my my kids have never met Wendy in part what Gabrielle 

Wendy Beck 35:51
yeah so 

Shelby 35:51
has 

Wendy Beck 35:51
I've 

Shelby 35:51
Andrew is never but like when I say Wendy they know exactly it 

Rich Bennett 35:56
yeah 

Shelby 35:56
like there's 

Wendy Beck 35:57
no 

Shelby 35:59
question as Rachel her life is my sponsor they drove two hours to come to my granddaughters first birthday 

Rich Bennett 36:07
party oh wow 

Shelby 36:08
like people just they show up for you 

Rich Bennett 36:11
yeah 

Shelby 36:11
but you know the thing is not everything for everybody not everybody has your best interest you know I try be pretty vigilant of my friends like I have a lot of acquaintances 

Rich Bennett 36:25
hmm 

Shelby 36:25
as far as friends I probably got probably seven 

Wendy Beck 36:30
that's a lot though 

Shelby 36:32
mean I I mean yeah I 

Wendy Beck 36:34
yeah 

Shelby 36:34
mean but 

Wendy Beck 36:34
I 

Shelby 36:34
that's like my go to like I call any other 

Rich Bennett 36:37
seven people right 

Shelby 36:39
and they know how to pry what they were doing if I told them I wanted to use they would show up they would show up for me 

Rich Bennett 36:47
it's important 

Shelby 36:47
yeah yeah yeah and I mean I have a huge network I know people I know a lot of people everywhere because I am kind of a social butterfly kind of 

Wendy Beck 36:57
you're kind of like you 

Shelby 36:58
you're 

Wendy Beck 36:58
are and you aren't 

Shelby 36:59
it's like when feel like it I 

Wendy Beck 37:01
right you you are but you aren't it's kind of funny because you don't like crowds you don't like to go out like in traffic and stuff but you're always that you always show up for the stuff that matters yeah 

Rich Bennett 37:12
am 

Wendy Beck 37:13
so so then she was at the cottage as the house manager for a while 

Shelby 37:19
yes 

Wendy Beck 37:20
for a while 

Shelby 37:20
for a long for a long and stand-in house manager 

Wendy Beck 37:23
and I think Rachel said it's time to start figuring it out my 

Shelby 37:27
wings 

Wendy Beck 37:28
and she was kind of not sure what that meant and an opportunity came and that's where you are today 

Shelby 37:34
I did 

Wendy Beck 37:35
and 

Shelby 37:36
and am I gonna say it like I miss like Wendy and Rachel like I miss when becoming over 

Rich Bennett 37:43
and I should write 

Shelby 37:44
chat 

Wendy Beck 37:44
no 

Shelby 37:45
how we're doing that day like she was almost like a diary that I talked to instead of like wrote because you she really she was because like I know I can trust her with anything I said 

Rich Bennett 37:55
yeah 

Shelby 37:56
but she's gonna be 

Rich Bennett 37:57
honest with me 

Shelby 37:58
too 

Wendy Beck 37:58
it's 

Shelby 37:59
like just relationship um so anyway I took this job it's a 3.1 

Wendy Beck 38:05
which is a treatment center where the ladies live in a house and then they go out during the day for treatment 

Shelby 38:10
no 

Wendy Beck 38:11
oh no 

Shelby 38:12
clinicians come to us and 

Wendy Beck 38:13
okay 

Rich Bennett 38:13
oh 

Shelby 38:14
okay um it's a program called summit um they have a lot of men houses 

Rich Bennett 38:20
okay 

Shelby 38:21
um we have one in belay our man house rest on like moravia down toward 

Rich Bennett 38:24
yeah 

Shelby 38:25
city and they're going to open a 3.5 

Wendy Beck 38:27
what's that I don't even know what that is 

Shelby 38:28
I didn't even know what a 3.1 was so 

Wendy Beck 38:30
okay 

Shelby 38:31
I I'm not a hundred percent positive 

Wendy Beck 38:34
okay 

Shelby 38:34
so I got a friend of mine that actually I knew when she was in middle school back home where I had come from her sister and I were really good friends and she is one of the people that helped run summit 

Rich Bennett 38:49
oh wow 

Shelby 38:50
and she had his um her hair dress you're like do you know anybody that's solid that can run a house and next day and there she's calling me and I'm like I thought Rachel did it be like trying 

Wendy Beck 39:00
I didn't know where that connection came from 

Shelby 39:02
yes 

Wendy Beck 39:03
yes okay 

Shelby 39:03
yeah so um marker called me 

Rich Bennett 39:18
'Cause you're so used to being at rage. 

'Cause you're so used to being at rage. 

And it was too 

Shelby 39:21
late. 

'Cause it changed, like, what, you 

Wendy Beck 39:22
it 

Shelby 39:22
know, 

Wendy Beck 39:22
was a good opportunity. 

Shelby 39:23
I was been stupid as hell not to take 

Rich Bennett 39:27
it. Yeah, because you live 

Shelby 39:30
there 

Wendy Beck 39:30
and live there 

Shelby 39:31
and work there and work. Yes, and I get paid too. 

Rich Bennett 39:35
Right. 

Wendy Beck 39:35
With us, you 

Shelby 39:35
don't 

Wendy Beck 39:37
get paid. So she was a house manager and she had to go out to a job. 

Rich Bennett 39:39
She 

Wendy Beck 39:40
has a kind of like room and board to do 

Shelby 39:43
Yes, 

Wendy Beck 39:43
your 

Shelby 39:43
yes 

Wendy Beck 39:43
job. 

Shelby 39:44
and I mean they're very very fair I mean like I do well. So I took this I didn't have an application hired me I mean I was all done 

Rich Bennett 39:56
Yeah, 

Shelby 39:56
but like they hired me boom you're hired can you start and I was like 

Rich Bennett 40:00
wow. 

Shelby 40:01
OK. 

Wendy Beck 40:01
And it's been a 

Shelby 40:02
since 

Wendy Beck 40:03
year 

Shelby 40:03
November. 

Wendy Beck 40:04
OK, 

Rich Bennett 40:04
So 

Wendy Beck 40:04
so not quite a 

Shelby 40:05
OK, 

Wendy Beck 40:05
year 

Shelby 40:05
I moved in the week that Monday after Thanksgiving. 

Wendy Beck 40:08
OK, 

Shelby 40:09
um let's see the thing is like when I went got put in this house so this is the first female house summit has opened. All these girls just got there the week before Thanksgiving. Here I come the week like the week after Thanksgiving. So we're all in this house and it holds seven girls. We're all in this house and don't know shit like I didn't know any of the rules. 

Rich Bennett 40:34
Oh, wow, 

Shelby 40:35
like it's 

Rich Bennett 40:35
it's 

Shelby 40:36
totally 

Rich Bennett 40:36
totally different 

Shelby 40:37
different. 

Wendy Beck 40:38
than what 

Shelby 40:38
And 

Wendy Beck 40:38
we. 

Shelby 40:38
then what rage or 

Rich Bennett 40:39
Yeah, 

Shelby 40:40
other places other sober limits. I've been in because this is the actual program with you know we got signs like exit signs 

Wendy Beck 40:48
it's. It's more clinical. 

Shelby 40:51
Yes, yes. So through these past few months not only. Have I tried to help these girls they've also helped me. 

Rich Bennett 41:06
Yeah. 

Shelby 41:07
patients. 

Wendy Beck 41:07
With No, are you kidding me? 

Shelby 41:11
Because like I remember you know when I relapsed having them you're saying I didn't I lost a date I didn't lose the knowledge like of what I have learned through the years and you know 

Wendy Beck 41:25
in your recovery. 

Shelby 41:26
Right, I didn't lose that it was just a date and I tried to tell myself that because it's so get upset because it sucks but it is what it is. But 

Wendy Beck 41:36
that brought you to 

Shelby 41:37
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 41:37
us. 

Shelby 41:37
and I don't know what I got had that plan for me you know, but these females it's a six and nine month program and they're actually starting to phase out now. So that's a work time 

Wendy Beck 41:51
Oh right 

Shelby 41:51
for the. 

Rich Bennett 41:51
right. 

Shelby 41:52
You know, 

Wendy Beck 41:53
and it's like so you've had mostly the same ones since 

Shelby 41:56
yes 

Wendy Beck 41:56
you started. 

Shelby 41:57
pretty much 

Wendy Beck 41:57
Oh wow okay. 

Shelby 42:01
Yeah. Um one just graduated a couple weeks ago, but as much as I hate to see them go I'm kind of glad they're graduated 

Rich Bennett 42:12
like right. 

Shelby 42:13
because that's an accomplishment a goal for them. 

And not for nothing, but they all come in at kind of at the same time. So they're all going to kind of go at the same time. So now when my new set comes in I know the rules now I am. I've got my sea legs on like very unstable at first. they would be like what can we do some like I don't know because I didn't like 

Wendy Beck 42:39
Right, 

Shelby 42:39
you know and I had a really rough time trying to understand. That we have a code to the door like most houses do they know the code. I know the code staff knows the code, but so I work a lot. I work four days like three to 11 shifts, but I work every night 11 to seven. Every night. So 

Rich Bennett 43:03
wow 

Shelby 43:04
But it's not really I'm I'm used to it now because it took 

Rich Bennett 43:07
yeah. 

Shelby 43:07
me a minute. It 

Wendy Beck 43:07
Right. 

Shelby 43:07
was a struggle. So like say like last night, if all my girls went out to a meeting at six o'clock, I can't go anywhere because someone has got to be on that premises. 

Wendy Beck 43:21
At 

Shelby 43:21
time 

Wendy Beck 43:21
all 

Shelby 43:22
24 seven, I'm like, why the hell they got them, you know the number to the lock and but they can't come in but then finally somebody was a little sit me down and explain it to me. Like so this is how I three point one's ran, you know we have to have staff on 24 seven, even if. Say, you know, I had some girls go to A's, I'm an A's, I'm a search, search, search, 7. I can't, I can't leave before the other ones leave and I can't come back there for the other ones to return. So I just need to be there. 

Rich Bennett 44:05
Right. 

Wendy Beck 44:16
other houses are man's 

Shelby 44:17
The 

Wendy Beck 44:18
houses, okay. 

Shelby 44:18
You know, they, they ask us how such, because you know, they're like, house managers of one gets burned out faster than any, 

Rich Bennett 44:26
mm-hmm, 

Shelby 44:26
because we're, 

Rich Bennett 44:27
yeah, all 

Shelby 44:28
the time. And not for nothing, but it's like, we get all the backlash, you know, because they are all the time. But they've made it where two nights a month, we can have them all but still get our hours. 

Wendy Beck 44:45
No, that's 

Shelby 44:46
not, so that last week I went home Monday morning at 7 a. m. when I got off and come back by 11 p. m. on Wednesday, you know, because for me, it's not. I wish my family's closer, but I can't just jump in my car and drive home. 

Rich Bennett 45:00
Right. Two 

Shelby 45:01
hour ride, 

Wendy Beck 45:01
alright. 

Shelby 45:02
And I'm exhausted once 

Wendy Beck 45:04
I'm 

Shelby 45:04
again. 

Wendy Beck 45:04
sure. 

Shelby 45:04
and so, um, yeah, the program's great, but I, you know, I've stayed in touch with Wendy and Rachel, not as much as I like to. But most of the time, you know, they're 

Wendy Beck 45:14
Well, you're 

Shelby 45:14
working, they're working. I'm 

Rich Bennett 45:16
sleeping, 

Shelby 45:16
asleep 

Rich Bennett 45:16
yeah, 

Shelby 45:16
on the sleep, you know, so, 

Wendy Beck 45:18
but we make it work. 

Shelby 45:19
And like, there has been nothing that I haven't asked. So, you know, I spend the day with my mom for a week to help me with, you know, and they, not done it. You 

Rich Bennett 45:30
yeah, 

Shelby 45:30
know, I mean, you know, 

Wendy Beck 45:32
within reason, 

Shelby 45:32
for $10, 000, or 

Rich Bennett 45:34
right, 

Wendy Beck 45:34
know. 

Shelby 45:34
anything, you 

Wendy Beck 45:36
Right. 

Shelby 45:36
Um, and I do, I miss it because I feel like, you know, and one of the things about the rage against addiction houses, they give you fine. And I'll never forget the first time Rachel texted me and give me a fine. I was led that. 

Wendy Beck 45:57
And what did you 

Shelby 45:58
I 

Wendy Beck 45:58
do? 

Shelby 45:58
left my bra on top of my dresser and there's a little more, but it, she said it looked like two hats sitting up there. 

Rich Bennett 46:08
You 

Shelby 46:10
can't do that. And I was like, you know, I called my 

Rich Bennett 46:13
shoes, put wings on. And 

Shelby 46:15
it wasn't the first time I had done it though. So that's why I got a fine. And I was so man I remember. 

Rich Bennett 46:21
And 

Shelby 46:22
she was like, okay, so let's play this out, Shelby. What did you do wrong? I was like, my bro and the, she's like, but she already been told that you can't do that because people come in and toward these houses. You're bra up there and I'm 

Wendy Beck 46:38
like, so now have you take now you have that role. 

Shelby 46:40
Right, but I can't, I don't 

Wendy Beck 46:42
that. 

Shelby 46:43
find 

Wendy Beck 46:43
Right, 

Shelby 46:43
but like, yeah, I have to go in and make sure like your broth are put away. And actually, I never said this, I become me. the senior house resident for daughters when I was in there. 

Wendy Beck 46:57
Right, 

Shelby 46:58
So it's like the house manager and then a senior resident who if the house manager is not there checked towards and stuff, I got fired from that. 

Wendy Beck 47:05
You did. 

Shelby 47:06
Yeah, I did. 

Wendy Beck 47:06
Why? 

Shelby 47:07
Because I just didn't do it. 

Wendy Beck 47:08
Oh, okay. 

Shelby 47:09
I didn't. I mean, I was supposed to, I just, I. 

Wendy Beck 47:13
You weren't ready at the 

Shelby 47:15
Right. I wasn't ready and that's when all like the symptoms started happening 

Wendy Beck 47:18
time, 

Shelby 47:18
to me and I didn't know what was going like. So yeah, Rachel's like, so we're just going on like, okay, like, isn't even that 

Wendy Beck 47:26
right? 

Shelby 47:27
that heavy, 

Wendy Beck 47:27
it's not that big of a deal. 

Shelby 47:29
no, 

Wendy Beck 47:29
Well, I mean, and you've come a long way. 

Shelby 47:30
Oh yeah. 

Wendy Beck 47:31
you're, you're feeling better and you've kind of got a lot of that under control and you know, she's, she's doing good. 

Shelby 47:39
And 

Wendy Beck 47:39
So what's next for Shelby? 

Shelby 47:42
Well, I said, once I left rage, I was done working. But it didn't happen like that. 

Rich Bennett 47:50
Feel good helping others. 

Shelby 47:51
I 

Rich Bennett 47:52
Yeah, 

Shelby 47:53
do. I absolutely do. And the thing is I'm like complaining about it, but I'm not real sure that I could go without it. Because it's 

Rich Bennett 47:59
yeah. 

Shelby 47:59
like my medicine 

Wendy Beck 48:00
my 

Shelby 48:00
or 

Rich Bennett 48:00
therapy. 

Shelby 48:01
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 48:01
Yeah. Well, you said you had had 

Rich Bennett 48:03
addiction. 

Wendy Beck 48:03
an Before, 

Shelby 48:05
Right. 

Wendy Beck 48:05
so now you kind of, it kind of replaced that, but you have more balance. 

Shelby 48:10
Yes, because see I don't have to get up at two o'clock in the morning because somebody didn't get a medication and go to pharmacy and pick it up. Like I was doing them kind of thing. 

Wendy Beck 48:19
Oh, that's what you were doing 

Shelby 48:20
to 

Wendy Beck 48:20
down 

Shelby 48:21
68 hours a week. Yes, 

Wendy Beck 48:22
wow. 

Shelby 48:22
Like, I'd get a phone call 1130. Like, so in so didn't get there. Whatever dropped off. Okay. Let me go. 

Wendy Beck 48:28
So, what is, you know, what is your self-care now? I mean, this is what you have realized that you need, and, you know, how are you incorporating that into your life? 

Shelby 48:38
So, my self-care is, 'I go to my home group every week'. I do not allow any of the female strides with me. time. Uhm, that's 

Rich Bennett 48:46
That's 

Shelby 48:47
my 

Rich Bennett 48:47
my 

Shelby 48:47
time. I do pick other home group members up, but I don't let my girls in the house thrive with me. Uhm, we also, a lot of times on Friday, even the day after home group, a lot of us just go eat. 

Wendy Beck 48:59
Okay. 

Shelby 49:00
Uhm, sometimes I got a couple of my girls that are with someone else. You 

Wendy Beck 49:05
try to separate- you're trying 

Shelby 49:06
uh, 

Wendy Beck 49:06
to- 

Shelby 49:06
yes, yes, 

Wendy Beck 49:07
you're trying to- from your- 

Shelby 49:07
you know, and I can't tell them they can't have the home group as me. That- that's just. 

Wendy Beck 49:11
Right. 

Rich Bennett 49:12
Right. 

Shelby 49:13
But I can't- I have people who I can talk to. 

Wendy Beck 49:16
Uhm, 

Shelby 49:16
you know, and I share all the meetings, you know, and I- 

Wendy Beck 49:19
Well, I'm sure you're an inspiration, as 

Shelby 49:21
I love them girls, but I do. Not kinda like them all the 

Wendy Beck 49:23
well. 

Shelby 49:23
time. You know, I just don't- 

Wendy Beck 49:25
Right. 

Shelby 49:26
they don't like me all the time, but the end of the day, we're stuck with each other. 

Wendy Beck 49:29
Right. 

Rich Bennett 49:29
I know, it's like that with Wendy and I. 

Wendy Beck 49:32
Yeah, 

Shelby 49:32
I mean, yeah. It's like damn. Uhm, 

I'm so thrown off. 

Wendy Beck 49:39
That's okay. No, it's been amazing. I mean, I- you- 

Shelby 49:42
I'm like- You have me over 

Wendy Beck 49:43
here. I was quite a wreck, I'm sorry, because that is not the Shelby that I know. That is not, and that's just really hard for me to imagine everything that you and you know, Gabrielle and Andrew went through just knowing them now. 

Rich Bennett 49:58
Mm-hmm. 

Wendy Beck 49:58
That's like- it's like hit me deep. But thank you for sharing. 

Shelby 50:02
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 50:02
I really appreciate you. You know I 

Shelby 50:04
Oh, 

Wendy Beck 50:04
love- 

Shelby 50:04
my other self cares, my nails and 

Wendy Beck 50:06
my 

Shelby 50:06
my- 

Wendy Beck 50:06
toes. That's 

Shelby 50:08
just me, you know, and I did get a massage and the girls are like- 

Wendy Beck 50:11
Ooh. 

Shelby 50:12
You're a baller, I said I'm not a baller. 

Rich Bennett 50:14
Wait, 

Shelby 50:14
I 

Rich Bennett 50:14
I'm 

Shelby 50:14
don't 

Rich Bennett 50:14
sorry. 

Shelby 50:14
spend my money on drugs. 

Rich Bennett 50:15
You went to a spa to get a massage. 

Shelby 50:17
I did. 

Rich Bennett 50:18
Did you hope that had a lot? 

Shelby 50:20
I back hurt the next day, but good. 

Wendy Beck 50:22
I know where he's going. 

Rich Bennett 50:23
You mentioned anxiety. Did 

Shelby 50:25
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 50:25
it help with that? A little bit 

Shelby 50:28
You know, I never thought about that. Um, I know 

Rich Bennett 50:31
of stress. 

Shelby 50:32
it, I know it like release a lot of stress from 'cause I've carried in my neck and my shoulders and my goodness. It even hurt when she first started doing it. 

Rich Bennett 50:41
Right. 

Shelby 50:43
And then it was just like it was like, wow, it's like the not 

Wendy Beck 50:46
the release. 

Shelby 50:47
Yeah. Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 50:48
well, and that's what you have realized and a lot of people- our house managers and Rachel, our program director, you need to make sure you have that element of self-care because we can see how you can get run down. 

Rich Bennett 51:03
Everybody needs it. 

Wendy Beck 51:04
Everybody needs it. Yeah. Well, we'll get there. 

Shelby 51:07
And I'm not a shopper. 

Rich Bennett 51:09
I 

Shelby 51:10
do not like take me to Walmart. You got take me seven o'clock morning or nine o'clock at night. I can't handle all the people. Um, now I've learned how to shop on Amazon 

Rich Bennett 51:20
online. 

Shelby 51:22
But, you know what? Anything I ever get, it's not 

Rich Bennett 51:24
that my house aren't crowded, aren't it? 

Shelby 51:27
The thing is, it's 

Rich Bennett 51:28
all. 

Shelby 51:29
Yeah. Either my kids or my grand are like I buy her like the cases of the like juice things. 

Wendy Beck 51:35
Yeah, but you're contributing now. 

Shelby 51:37
Yes, because I can't because I didn't buy shit for my kids nothing. 

Wendy Beck 51:42
Well, I mean what I know of of you and for the amount of time that we know have known each other like her family is incredible. They're great people like I haven't met them all, but I have met several but the connection that she has with them is not not the norm. I mean, you guys are close really close. 

Shelby 52:02
Okay, I think you're 

Wendy Beck 52:08
there for each other. 

Shelby 52:09
Absolutely. No, Matt. Look, I can talk bad about my sisters. My brother, my mother, my father, don't you because then we're going to have a problem. 

Rich Bennett 52:17
Yeah, 

Shelby 52:17
like, you know, yes, I have a very close-knit family. I mean, it's so close that my mom and dad have been separated for almost 30 years. No, almost 

37 years. And when I'm home or like, my dad stops by or here take care of the dogs and we go on vacation like he shows up Christmas one. And my mom's been with another man for 

Wendy Beck 52:42
just 

Shelby 52:42
30 

Wendy Beck 52:42
that. 

Shelby 52:42
years. 

Wendy Beck 52:42
Yeah, 

Shelby 52:43
But it's like 

Wendy Beck 52:44
yeah, and 

Shelby 52:45
like, 

Wendy Beck 52:45
I you think that has something to do. You think that's small town stuff or do you just think that you're family? 

Shelby 52:50
And my family 

Wendy Beck 52:52
Right. 

Shelby 52:54
is just my family because I mean, that's kind of how I mean, you know, my dad walks right in the back door like 

Rich Bennett 53:00
sometimes love never stops to 

Shelby 53:02
yeah, like I mean, yeah, it just we have a very week family except this trip to Marlowe Beach, it is going to be a disaster. *laughs* It is, it just is. But, you know what, we're all gonna be together, we're gonna make the best of it. And it'd be like the fun disaster. 

Rich Bennett 53:18
*laughs* 

Wendy Beck 53:18
Right. 

Shelby 53:19
We got my mom a thing to hang in her house, and it says if anybody asks, we are a normal family. 

Wendy Beck 53:25
*laughs* 

Shelby 53:25
*laughs* 

Rich Bennett 53:26
I need that! *laughs* 

Shelby 53:27
Because we're so not. 

Rich Bennett 53:29
Yeah. Your family's not like mine then. 

Wendy Beck 53:31
Well, I'm so proud of the woman that you are today, and I'm happy to call you my friend, and, uh, I got a little emotional, but... No, 

Shelby 53:40
*laughs* 

Wendy Beck 53:41
it's... I don't always hear the stories, like, of the ladies, that, 'cause I don't go to meetings, I don't do all of that. So, it's important for me, you know, it grounds me as well, to know what they have gone through, because that's really why we do what we do, and I thank you very much. And I 

Shelby 53:59
love you. 

Rich Bennett 54:01
God, 

Wendy Beck 54:01
And I 

Rich Bennett 54:01
I 

Wendy Beck 54:01
love you. *laughs* 

Rich Bennett 54:01
love 

Shelby 54:01
*laughs* We love 

Rich Bennett 54:02
you, 

Shelby 54:02
you too. 

Wendy Beck 54:03
guys. 

Rich Bennett 54:04
You're gonna lift out. 

Wendy Beck 54:06
Thank you. 

Rich & Wendy 54:06
Wendy, I understand that rage against addiction is doing something very important, a monthly donor program. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Absolutely. We are hoping to get our supporters to join us in providing a monthly donation. It can be $5, or it can be more. Whatever you can afford, really allows us to help plan and increase our fundraising efforts. Well, why should people become a monthly donor? What are they doing to help? Well, they're monthly contributions. Let us plan for long-term projects and respond quickly when urgent needs arise. And I'll give you an example. We had the need for a new mattress. Right. And we've also had urgent needs for refrigerators and washing machines and all of that kind of stuff that comes up. So they tend to need to be replaced and are women deserve to have the things that they need. So, with the monthly donor program, technically anybody can do it for any amount. Because rage against addiction always needs something. I've known, I've known you for years now and there's times you've told me you guys need a furniture, you need clothes, and also you're not getting the grants that you used to or the contributions that you used to. So this monthly donor program will definitely help a lot. So, somebody becomes a monthly donor. What is there anything that they're getting in return? besides Besides, of course, helping those that need it. I know you guys have an excellent newsletter. Were they automatic? We'll subscribe to that. Yeah, we'll subscribe to our newsletter so you'll know what's going on. You can track our progress. Here, success stories, know the data and how many women we serve each year and just be a part of something bigger. So, with this, I guess they're also going to be because of the newsletter. They're going to be one of the first ones to find out about events coming up like the memory walk and run. And the basketball bingo and any other future events that you're doing. The podcast that you do. So, they're going to be tied in right away. Yes. All right, so how can they become a monthly donor? You can go to our website and that is rageagainstaddiction. org and go to our donate button. And on there, you will have the option to become a monthly donor and you can put in any amount that you want. And it meant bigger small empowers our mission and changes lives every single day. Visit us at rageagainstaddiction. org to become a reoccurring donor and join us in making a lasting impact. Thank you for your compassion, generosity, and belief in a brighter future. Together, we can make a difference. Join us today.