Why One Goal Changes Everything In A Mastermind

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared a episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios Harford County Living Presence conversations with Rich Bennett. 

No no no, it's like, who is? 

Rich Bennett 1:09
Greg approached me, said or came up with an idea. Let's do a podcast about Brain Storming in a Mastermind group. And when he said something to me, I was like, my first thought was, what the hell's a Mastermind group. Keep in mind, when I read "Think You Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, I was like 12th. My age 

Chris Coleman 1:28
forget. 

Rich Bennett 1:28
now, you 

So it's like, oh, sorry, sorry, it was my research. I'm like, this is brilliant. It's a great idea. Then I did even more research. And all of us know there's networking groups out there at the Wah Zoo. But you don't see many Mastermind groups. And a lot of people don't 

Chris Coleman 1:47
their 

Rich Bennett 1:47
realize big brains. 

Chris Coleman 1:51
There's a lot of Mastermind groups. You just, you just don't know the right social 

Rich Bennett 1:54
level. 

Chris Coleman 1:55
Well, there's 

Robyn Burke 1:56
lot 

Chris Coleman 1:56
a 

Robyn Burke 1:56
of, 

Rich Bennett 1:57
yeah, but maybe it's because I'm not seeing them, because a Mastermind group should not be as large as a networking group. 

Chris Coleman 2:04
Correct. They're so they're niche-based. So you have Mastermind groups. There are, well, I guess that I digress. What is your definition of a Mastermind group? Because there are a lot of Mastermind groups that are wrapped into much more vague terminology. 

Rich Bennett 2:24
Right. 

Chris Coleman 2:24
There's a friend of mine that I went to school with, and he has a Mastermind group. And it's something about being a better man, or a stronger man, or be an alpha man, or whatever, you know, this type of thing. Because supposedly, I guess, in this generation and the younger generation, we don't have men who are men. I don't know. I don't get involved in that. I'm just saying this is their premise. 

Rich Bennett 2:49
I do know of groups like that. 

Chris Coleman 2:50
And that's what they're calling Mastermind. And so it really comes down to what is the official or what is the recognized or what do you see as the definition of a Mastermind group? And once you set that 

Rich Bennett 3:05
then 

Chris Coleman 3:05
definition, you can kind of determine how many groups fall into that scale or definition. 

Rich Bennett 3:12
I know I have, with podcast, and I've seen two Past 

Chris Coleman 3:16
Groups. 

Rich Bennett 3:16
Mind It's probably about podcast. But the ones like over 100 people, and I don't. 

Chris Coleman 3:21
Well, and so here's the thing, right? So like for me, a definition of Mastermind Group is bringing people from different industries, different walks of life. That have similar business size, similar growth, and understanding and coming together to kind of brainstorm what they're doing and what challenges they may be having and how another company may be able to say, Hey, look, we ran into that. This is what we did. 

Rich Bennett 3:51
I get you when I talk about it. 

Chris Coleman 3:52
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 3:53
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 3:54
Correct. 

Rich Bennett 3:54
Alright, Greg, hit us. 

Greg Derwart 3:56
Well, you mentioned Napoleon Hill. So I'm going to go to 

Rich Bennett 4:00
the source for 

Greg Derwart 4:02
that. And I'll. 

Rich Bennett 4:03
Napoleon Hill is here. 

Greg Derwart 4:04
Say that anyone that doesn't know the Thinking Groww Ranch, we were just 

Rich Bennett 4:09
for 

Greg Derwart 4:09
talking about how it was written by Napoleon Hill, came out in 1937. 

Twenty 25 years researching and interviewing successful people that Andrew Carnegie introduced to him. So Andrew Carnegie said to this 20 something reporter from West Virginia, say, said, I want to introduce you to these people. I want you to interview them and and learn how and why they're successful. I'm not going to pay you a thing, but you'll get all this wisdom. 

Rich Bennett 4:46
You know, 

Greg Derwart 4:46
from all these successful people, and he did exactly that. He did several--what was the first book you said? 

Rich Bennett 4:52
Law of success. 

Greg Derwart 4:53
Yeah, which came out earlier--28, 

Rich Bennett 4:56
yeah. 

Chris Coleman 4:57
And then, it 

Greg Derwart 4:57
can grow rich. And a colleague of mine handed me this book when I was 21, 22 years old just out of college, and it really did become the premise for how I structured my life, my goal planning, you know, a lot of successes that I've had. And the book has 13 principles, and one of the principles is the power of the mastermind. And so, when you're asking what is the definition of a mastermind, Napoleon said, it's coordination of knowledge and effort in a spirit of harmony between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose. Alright, so a definite purpose--you have a goal 

Rich Bennett 5:39
a, 

Greg Derwart 5:39
or 

Rich Bennett 5:39
um, 

Greg Derwart 5:40
you have an outcome that you're looking to achieve, and you're bringing together subject matter experts so that you're taking advantage of that knowledge, And if you think of just the concept of synergy, you know, 

Rich Bennett 5:54
yeah. 

Greg Derwart 5:54
if you work on it by yourself and I work on it by myself, we will come out with, you know, certain outcomes, but if the two of us come together, it's like we create this third mind, or this third, you know, synergistic, 

Rich Bennett 6:07
Right. 

Greg Derwart 6:07
you know, where we're better together than by ourselves. But if, so if you take that and the concept of brainstorming ideas on how to achieve an outcome, you know, with all these subject matter experts, so it has to be for a specific outcome. It can't just be--that's why I said, you know, it's more than brainstorming, you know, where we're going to go on vacation this year or, you know, it's, you know, it's for a specific outcome that you're looking to achieve. And you're tapping the genius of subject matter 

Rich Bennett 6:36
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 6:36
experts. So like in the book, you know, he talks about, 

Robyn Burke 6:43
um, 

Greg Derwart 6:43
Andrew Carnegie himself knew nothing about manufacturing steel. And he didn't want to know. 

Rich Bennett 6:49
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 6:49
Yeah. He found the guys that knew how to do it. So he had a mastermind of 50 people, but they were all for the purpose of making as much money as you could manufacturing steel. 

Rich Bennett 7:01
Henry Ford was the same 

Greg Derwart 7:02
way. Yeah. 

Robyn Burke 7:03
He put the right people in the right places. 

Rich Bennett 7:05
Right. Well, 

Chris Coleman 7:06
and you don't have to know everything. You had just half of the people around you that know what you don't know. 

Greg Derwart 7:11
Right. 

Rich Bennett 7:12
Align yourself with--and it just, it makes--I personally think it makes you smarter. 

Greg Derwart 7:16
Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 7:16
Or maybe you learn more. 

Chris Coleman 7:18
Encoration has always had better outcome than individual, you know, doing it individually. Like when you have collaboration of people together, working towards the same common goal, you will always have a better outcome and be more successful as long as everybody is on the same page. 

Greg Derwart 7:36
so my work at Hartford Bank, 

Rich Bennett 7:38
Like, 

Greg Derwart 7:38
part one of my roles is to facilitate the bank 

Chris Coleman 7:40
strategy 

Greg Derwart 7:41
process. 

Robyn Burke 7:42
planning 

Greg Derwart 7:42
So our current strategic plan has six goals, okay? So we created a workgroup for each of those goals. And I'm facilitating conversations in these workgroups 

Rich Bennett 7:56
to 

Greg Derwart 7:56
achieve objectives and, you know, do projects. So I'm essentially facilitating six mastermind groups because we picked-- specific people from the bank, from different departments and different levels of seniority and whatnot so that we're come in together to accomplish the goals of the strategic 

Robyn Burke 8:18
plan. 

Rich Bennett 8:20
I don't know if I'm good at that. 

Chris Coleman 8:22
One 

Rich Bennett 8:23
business having me as my 

Chris Coleman 8:23
That's 

Rich Bennett 8:24
group within their-- a good idea. 

Greg Derwart 8:26
And it's six different groups. It's not 

Rich Bennett 8:29
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 8:29
the same people, you know, 

Robyn Burke 8:31
on each great-- 

Greg Derwart 8:32
Exactly. It's based on the main objectives, you know, for each of the six goals. 

Rich Bennett 8:38
Do you know if any non-profits that are actually part of a mastermind group? 

Greg Derwart 8:43
I'm 

Chris Coleman 8:43
Well, 

Greg Derwart 8:44
sure there are. 

Rich Bennett 8:45
Yeah, but do you personally know of any? Because I mean, I think-- Non-profits have their struggling. You know, they can't-- they're having a hard time raising the money, they're-- 

Greg Derwart 8:56
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 8:56
No matter what they do. And you see a lot of them keep doing the same thing, but if they're not raising more money, that's all I was 

Greg Derwart 9:04
there's 

Rich Bennett 9:04
If any need-- 

Chris Coleman 9:05
Well, that's the definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over again, expect different results. 

Rich Bennett 9:10
Yeah, I mean-- 

Chris Coleman 9:11
You have to-- that's marketing one at one. You have to-- And that's how 

Rich Bennett 9:28
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 9:29
you get donations for non-profits. It's 

Robyn Burke 9:31
of... 

Chris Coleman 9:31
just a matter 

Robyn Burke 9:32
And Grant Marine, and that's something that's going by the wayside. There's a lot of, uh, younger generation. They don't want to break grants. They don't want to break grants. Who wants to? 

Greg Derwart 9:42
It takes too much time. 

Chris Coleman 9:43
We deal with that in the stormwater, so I'm part of TestPick Watershed Protection, and TestPick Bay Landscape Professionals. And there are, that's what they talk about is that they cannot. They have one personal staff maybe, but they're trying to get more and the younger generation is not... Going into that field, and it's a shame because there are unlimited amount of grants that are, 

Robyn Burke 10:08
but 

Chris Coleman 10:08
you 

Robyn Burke 10:08
you 

Chris Coleman 10:08
know, 

Robyn Burke 10:08
have to have somebody that knows how to search for them, how to write them, you know, and it's not a fun job. I mean, it's so mundane. And if you don't have every two-crossed, and I got it, you're not getting it. 

Chris Coleman 10:20
One of my family members, uh, runs a... The HealthLink program for, uh, TestPick, and she is approaching retirement. And that is one of the biggest things is that they rely on grants. 

Robyn Burke 10:36
Absolutely. 

Chris Coleman 10:36
And for their funding, and there is not someone, I believe, the grant writer just retired, and now they're kind of like, "What do we do?" And that... 

Rich Bennett 10:43
Oh wow. 

Chris Coleman 10:44
Yeah. That is detrimental to the community because her program is all the outreach for Hartford 

Greg Derwart 10:52
County. You talk about nonprofits and needing some type of forum like 

Rich Bennett 10:56
Yeah! 

Greg Derwart 10:56
that. 

Robyn Burke 10:56
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 10:57
Um, I'm a history nerd and one of my favorite founding fathers is Ben Franklin. And early in his adult life in Philadelphia, he put together an organization he called the Junto, J-U-N-T-O. 

Rich Bennett 11:13
Moorrrr? 

Greg Derwart 11:13
Junto. 

Chris Coleman 11:14
And 

Greg Derwart 11:15
it was essentially a mastermind group of businessmen who came up with good social ideas for the city. They came up with the idea for the first public library and they came up 

Rich Bennett 11:27
Really? 

Greg Derwart 11:27
with... 

Rich Bennett 11:28
You 

Greg Derwart 11:28
know, all kinds of ideas, but they would get together every Friday and drink ale and... But it was specifically for, you know, coming up with ideas for the public good. So 

Rich Bennett 11:41
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 11:41
that was the specific outcome that they were looking to achieve. And they did this for years. They just got together every Friday and brainstormed ideas. 

Chris Coleman 11:52
And I think that's kinda what you're trying to narrow down with this is brainstorming in a mastermind group is the first thing to understand is that mastermind is one set goal. What one achievement, how do we achieve X and then bringing people together to brainstorm to reach X? 

Rich Bennett 12:13
Right. 

Chris Coleman 12:13
So it's not a business growth group. It's not a personal growth group. It's not a networking group. But it's the definition from the book that Greg just talked about is that it is about specifically achieving one goal. And that may be for social impact of a city. It may be for a nonprofit to continue to build fundraising for a certain goal and stuff like that. 

Greg Derwart 12:37
The other thing that I like in the definition, he says, in a spirit of harmony. So everybody you invite to this group needs to be willing to be on the same page. And 

Rich Bennett 12:46
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 12:47
believe in the outcome we're trying to achieve and not just be an agitator. 

Chris Coleman 12:51
And that is very challenging to find people that have the same goal and don't have some sort of 

Greg Derwart 12:59
personal 

Chris Coleman 13:00
Yes, 

Greg Derwart 13:00
agenda. 

Chris Coleman 13:00
thank you. Yes, figuring out 

Greg Derwart 13:02
work. 

Chris Coleman 13:02
how to 

Rich Bennett 13:04
Yeah. And you don't want somebody who's just going to sit there and be quiet. 

Chris Coleman 13:06
Or use it for their own goal. It's like that personal agenda. That is a big thing. And you see that in every one of the networking groups. And then everything else. And you were a part of them for a while, Greg, and everything else. I was a part of them for many, many a year. And it's not growth. It's just everybody hanging out. And that's not what Mastermind is. Mastermind is legitimately trying to reach a goal that everybody is invested in. 

Rich Bennett 13:36
Well, let's hit that a minute. Networking versus Mastermind, because you're in a Mastermind group, right? Well, you probably Mastermind without knowing you're a Mastermind. Right. So 

Chris Coleman 13:51
you give me a lot of credit. 

Rich Bennett 13:53
That's why I'm growing your business. 

Greg Derwart 14:04
I think you, I think both are useful 

Rich Bennett 14:08
Oh, 

Greg Derwart 14:08
and beneficial for different reasons. 

Rich Bennett 14:10
Okay. 

Greg Derwart 14:11
You know, we're talking about how the mastermind group can help solve a specific 

Rich Bennett 14:15
a 

Greg Derwart 14:15
problem or 

Rich Bennett 14:16
the 

Greg Derwart 14:16
issue networking is just a tool in business development. 

And 

Chris Coleman 14:27
uh, 

Greg Derwart 14:29
business loan, they think to come to Hartford Bank, 

Rich Bennett 14:32
we've 

Greg Derwart 14:33
developed meaningful relationships with, with, with you. And so, so they serve two different 

Chris Coleman 14:40
Yeah, 

Greg Derwart 14:40
purposes. 

Chris Coleman 14:40
I think you're talking apples 

Greg Derwart 14:43
to oranges. Yeah, 

Chris Coleman 14:44
when you compare networking to mastermind. 

Rich Bennett 14:46
Mm hmm, 

Chris Coleman 14:46
because again, mastermind is one One 

Robyn Burke 14:50
goal. 

Chris Coleman 14:50
goal, everybody's coming together to figure out that one goal, whether it's two people, eight people, 20 

Rich Bennett 14:55
Right. 

Chris Coleman 14:56
people, 100 people, networking is almost another form of that's what I consider 

Greg Derwart 15:06
to 

Chris Coleman 15:06
be networking. you 

Robyn Burke 15:09
So 

Chris Coleman 15:10
go in there as a salesman, and yes, there are little groups and stuff, but you know, hard County Chamber, I've been a part of them forever, and they do all the coffee and connections and all this stuff, and it's always bring your business 

Rich Bennett 15:23
Right. 

Robyn Burke 15:23
cards. 

Chris Coleman 15:23
And have, you know, a 10 second spiel of what your company is. And you literally move your way around the room and introduce yourself and hand out your card, and that's just another form of advertisement for your business. 

Robyn Burke 15:36
I call it an elevator speech, you 

Rich Bennett 15:38
the 

Robyn Burke 15:38
just 

Rich Bennett 15:38
elevator 

Robyn Burke 15:38
give 

Rich Bennett 15:38
speech. Yeah, 

Robyn Burke 15:39
the elevator speech. 

Chris Coleman 15:40
Correct. And if you're good at that, I'm not, you can have positive results. And you just it's again, it's the same as putting up a billboard or running a Facebook ad or, you know, something like that. It's the same. It's based 

Rich Bennett 15:54
Right. 

Chris Coleman 15:54
upon advertising, whereas mastermind is again coming together for one singular goal. 

Robyn Burke 16:00
Deeper 

Chris Coleman 16:01
conversation, 

Robyn Burke 16:02
ideas, collaborations, 

Greg Derwart 16:04
like part of the reason why I network and you know, the reason why working at Harvard Bank resonated with me is because we want to be seen out in the community. 

Rich Bennett 16:15
Right. 

Greg Derwart 16:16
That's the essence of a community bank. taking deposits and turning around and investing back into the community financially, but also with sweat equity and sponsorships and 

Rich Bennett 16:30
Right. 

Greg Derwart 16:30
volunteering. And 

Rich Bennett 16:31
We're 

Greg Derwart 16:31
so just being seen out in the community, whether it's at a networking event or volunteering at the homeless shelter, that's a part of who we are and who we want to be how we want to be seen. 

Rich Bennett 16:44
Right. 

Greg Derwart 16:45
So I'm not necessarily solving a problem, like I'm like you would in a mastermind. 

Rich Bennett 16:51
Right. 

Greg Derwart 16:52
But it's just just nurturing that those relationships. 

Rich Bennett 16:58
So when you're in a mastermind, you're having a mastermind group me. Let's say it's the four of us. 

Chris Coleman 17:07
Are you picking the topic? 

Rich Bennett 17:09
Well, now I like when we launch I loved your idea of each person go 

Chris Coleman 17:16
through 

Rich Bennett 17:17
last, tell 

Chris Coleman 17:18
the 

Rich Bennett 17:19
them last months and last 

Greg Derwart 17:21
win. 

Rich Bennett 17:21
months And then when you're done, that's when you start brainstorming. 

Chris Coleman 17:27
that's a little 

Rich Bennett 17:27
But 

Chris Coleman 17:27
different than a mastermind. That's that's a business development business growth business. 

Rich Bennett 17:31
But is it different? 

Greg Derwart 17:34
Yeah, 

Chris Coleman 17:34
yeah, because you're not going for one goal. Yes, you're going to goal of growing your business or trying to be successful, but it's more of a business growth model. 

Rich Bennett 17:41
Okay. 

Chris Coleman 17:44
Again, the definition of mastermind has been liquid, brought down a little bit or spread out, you know, to fit different things because it has a better tagline than another business development group or, you know, something along those lines. 

Rich Bennett 18:01
Okay, 

Chris Coleman 18:03
because again, the true definition of a mastermind group is one goal. And yes, you could say the one goal would be growing growing your business, but again, that's very vague. 

Rich Bennett 18:12
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 18:13
And 

Robyn Burke 18:13
it would 

Chris Coleman 18:13
so 

Robyn Burke 18:13
be like Ben Franklin, the common goal was to build that library. 

Chris Coleman 18:18
Right. So it's like, you know, trying to figure that out of, you know, you had talked about a mastermind group. What is the goal of that? You know, what is this singular goal of that group? If you're just going to call it helping to grow businesses, then you're doing just a business growth group, or not trying to think of a word. It's not moderate or 

Robyn Burke 18:40
bad. 

Chris Coleman 18:41
Basically, just people of similar businesses are in the business world, similar industry stuff like that, helping other businesses to overcome their challenges. 

Rich Bennett 18:50
Right. 

Greg Derwart 18:52
Another thing that the book talks about that I like is, and this might help you with a structure that, you know, that you're talking about. 

So, a accumulated experience is basically the expertise that people bring to the table. The stuff we already know in all of our brains, all of our minds. Then, experiment and research, that's the brainstorming of, you know, looking ahead, you know, how can we take this information and knowledge and wisdom that we have and apply it in a brainstorming way, you know, to think about new ways of approaching things. Infinite intelligence, this gets into, like, not religious, but from a spiritual, you know, ultimate, you know, 

Rich Bennett 19:53
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 19:54
intelligence, you know, infinite intelligence, how the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference 

Chris Coleman 20:03
between 

Greg Derwart 20:04
fantasy and So, when we brainstorm and we're having the synergy as a group, you have the potential of, like, having your conscious mind feed things to your subconscious, and that, so that's tapping all that. 

Chris Coleman 20:22
And here's the thing, you can label or determine what you want anything to be. 

Rich Bennett 20:29
Right. 

Chris Coleman 20:30
You can use the original definition of mastermind. You can adapt it to a newer version of mastermind. There is no right or wrong answer. I think the whole goal is to help better the people in the group and somehow positively influence society. So something that you're doing in this group should have a positive outcome in your community, in your neighborhood, in the world. However, you want to determine that as entirely, you know, up to you. 

Rich Bennett 21:02
Right. 

Chris Coleman 21:03
It's just a matter of what you're going to have that as and what that looks like to you and, you know, sitting down and being like, okay, what is the goal of this group? What do we want to do in this group? You know, we're technically brainstorming right now 

Rich Bennett 21:18
Right. 

Chris Coleman 21:19
about a mastermind group. And what you want to do with that and how this all started and what that looks like and brainstorming is exactly what we're doing here. It's discussing it for the outcome of what is this group going to look like? What is it going to do? What is its purpose? What is its goals? You know, who should be involved in that and just going through that aspect? 

Greg Derwart 21:42
other thing that's important to keep in mind when brainstorming is you need to create like a safe space where everyone feels competent everybody feels comfortable throwing out any and all 

Rich Bennett 21:54
Right. 

Greg Derwart 21:54
ideas. 

Rich Bennett 21:54
The 

Greg Derwart 21:54
There's no bad ideas. Right. Right. Everything up on the board or you know, so having people having that trust and comfort so that everyone one will just throw everything out on the table 

Robyn Burke 22:07
with 

Greg Derwart 22:08
any 

Chris Coleman 22:09
fear of embarrassment. Yeah, fear of embarrassment or anything else like that 

Rich Bennett 22:13
or 

Chris Coleman 22:14
fending someone else, you know, because that. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 22:20
Interesting. I'm sitting here I was like, I'm sitting here thinking it's like, man, 

Chris Coleman 22:25
let's 

Rich Bennett 22:26
do one right 

Chris Coleman 22:27
now. 

Rich Bennett 22:27
How do, but you're all they have for me. 

Greg Derwart 22:30
No, no, 

Rich Bennett 22:31
all right. So, so, all right. So one of the biggest prongs in society, especially with kids is what? 

Chris Coleman 22:40
I mean, that's a long list. 

Robyn Burke 22:42
Where 

Rich Bennett 22:43
do 

Robyn Burke 22:43
do we 

Rich Bennett 22:43
all right. Self. 

Robyn Burke 22:44
That one. 

Rich Bennett 22:44
I think a cell phones are social media. 

Greg Derwart 22:46
Okay, 

Chris Coleman 22:47
you think that's the biggest problem. 

Rich Bennett 22:49
One of the biggest problems. It drives anxiety up big time. You don't think so what 

Chris Coleman 22:55
can I can see that cell phones can be. Again, it's 

Rich Bennett 22:59
new. 

Chris Coleman 23:00
It is 

Rich Bennett 23:01
social meat, 

Chris Coleman 23:02
but if you take that one step further, it's ultimately how children treat other children. Social media is just a tool, right. So it's just a platform. 

Rich Bennett 23:14
Right. 

Chris Coleman 23:15
So we always have had this conversation with my children since they were little that and we didn't allow them to have social media until they were in high school. And actually, I didn't want them to have social media until they were driving because I felt that if I can turn them loose in the world in a vehicle, I should have raised them well enough to be able to go out in the world in the social media world. But North Harvard had a different plan. 

Uh, my daughter was part of the FFA program and the small animal program and

unbeknownst to us

the only way that they communicate was 

Greg Derwart 23:49
Instagram. 

Chris Coleman 23:50
So my daughter at 15 had Instagram, but that was all she was allowed to have. And of course, you know, my son was like, "Oh, dad, me, I had Instagram at 15" Oh, my son had Instagram, but they didn't

they were not allowed to have TikTok, Twitter, or any of the other stuff 

Rich Bennett 24:04
Right. 

Chris Coleman 24:04
or X or whatever it's called now, until they were out in the world in their license, with their license. So, to me, I always told him, "Look, I said social media is a tool. It's a platform that people use." So ultimately, everything you see on there is people, and people are doing this to other people. 

Rich Bennett 24:21
Mm-hmm, 

Chris Coleman 24:21
So, yes, social media can be an influence on children, but ultimately, to me, it's people are influencing the children, and you need to understand that. By understanding the basis that this is just some other person on their phone, 

Rich Bennett 24:36
right. 

Chris Coleman 24:37
and that it's not an all-being, because these kids look at social media as an information tool or

And facts and a guide and all this other stuff, and I've told them from an early age, it's not facts. It's somebody's opinion. It's 

Rich Bennett 24:52
and facts. Right. 

Chris Coleman 24:52
somebody that doesn't matter to you. It's somebody you don't know. That celebrity has no impact on your life. They are not coming over to have dinner with you on Sunday night dinners. They're not at your family reunions. They're not your boss. It's not all these other things. Can you make great connections to social media, sure. But you also need to understand that it's still just another human on the other side of that. 

Rich Bennett 25:12
There, 

Chris Coleman 25:12
And that, if somebody said something due in school that hurt your feelings, what would you do? And most of the time, maybe like roll our eyes, walk by, whatever. Same principle of social media. 

Greg Derwart 25:21
yep. 

Chris Coleman 25:22
Just roll your eyes and move on. Just scroll. You don't have to engage 

Rich Bennett 25:26
in. 

Chris Coleman 25:26
Right. You don't have to treat it as truth. So I think there is a broader or more in depth. Look at that because everybody immediately blames social media in the cell phones. And to me, that's just a tool 

Rich Bennett 25:40
yeah, 

Chris Coleman 25:40
that diverts back to how your children are raised. 

Rich Bennett 25:43
Right. 

Chris Coleman 25:44
And that's a whole way deeper conversation of issues because I feel like 

Rich Bennett 25:49
there's a lot of issues when it comes to, 

Chris Coleman 25:51
yeah, I feel like over time, generationally, people have been allowed to speak to others in a way that they shouldn't without any sort of repercussions. Correct. So that, you know, you would not say things are, you know, and that's what I tell my children all the time. I'm like, whatever you put on social media, you better be prepared to say somebody's face. 

Rich Bennett 26:12
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 26:13
And they're like, 

Rich Bennett 26:13
it don't be the key board. 

Chris Coleman 26:14
And they're like, Oh, I'm like, yeah, if you wouldn't say that to my face or the neighbor's face, then you shouldn't put on social media. 

Rich Bennett 26:25
You're listening to conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

Hey there, folks. Before we get into the heart of today's episode, I like to share a personal story about a friend of mine who recently had an incredible experience with one of my sponsors. Four seasons landscaping construction serve. Now, you know, there's no shortage of landscape contractors out there, but let me tell you why four seasons stands out. Four seasons is a local family owned small business. You're not just hiring a company. You're supporting a company that cares about the community. A company that hires locally and supports families that live, spend and participate right here in our area. See, my friend had been struggling with a drainage problem that was turning their backyard into a swamp. They called four seasons now run by the second generation of a family with a long standing reputation for reliable server and boy did they deliver. They were knowledgeable, professional and most importantly, they solved the problem, you know, four seasons has this commitment to ongoing learning. They're always updating their certifications, staying on top of industry publications and maintaining membership and professional organizations. All to ensure they offer the best possible solutions to their clients. At the end of the day, my friends yard went from being a soggy mess to a lush, relaxing oasis where they can now enjoy spending free time with family and friends. And that folks is the four seasons difference, and I'm hoping they had me come over there and barbecue in it now. So if you're dealing with landscaping challenges, where you simply want to maintain your outdoor space, give four seasons landscape and construction services a call at 443 390 yard. that's 443 390 9273 experience the four seasons difference for yourself. Just 

Greg Derwart 28:34
like any tool you can use a tool 

Robyn Burke 28:37
for 

Greg Derwart 28:37
for 

Robyn Burke 28:37
good or evil. 

Rich Bennett 28:38
Yeah, 

Greg Derwart 28:39
you know, 

Chris Coleman 28:39
Well, it gives you a former safety, right? So like cell phones and social media give you like once removed 

Greg Derwart 28:44
yeah. 

Chris Coleman 28:45
and so yes It has your screen name or whatever and yes you could probably I mean, you know the younger generation is really good at chasing down Who people are I mean we've seen that with different businesses that you know we name were right in false and grab house that decided to Get caught on video saying some things over there and 

Rich Bennett 29:01
oh wow. 

Chris Coleman 29:02
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 29:02
Yeah, I miss that too 

Chris Coleman 29:03
It was a couple years ago. 

Rich Bennett 29:06
no 

Chris Coleman 29:06
Oh, 

Rich Bennett 29:07
Yeah, 

Chris Coleman 29:09
and the one of the right congressman had to go up there and like defend them and everything else Yeah, it was a whole thing and there was a huge social 

Rich Bennett 29:16
media. Tell you afterwards Yeah, 

Chris Coleman 29:18
yeah, yeah, but yeah, you know that and they were able to figure out who it was where they lived You know, obviously they own the business. I'm actually the parents on the business, but either way You know, and how quickly that can go down hill But at the same time people do have some sort of false security when they're commenting on Social media that they and that's one thing that I've always tried to teach my children is that you don't have that safety Like you if you wouldn't be willing to say that in To someone in front of someone then you don't say it 

Rich Bennett 29:49
That's I am glad you brought that up because and you see that when people leave reviews This isn't everything a lot of especially if they leave a bear review people have a hard time saying something bad to a Company or somebody in person But they'll praise on me a heartbeat So I like that idea if you can see 

Greg Derwart 30:12
Why 

Rich Bennett 30:12
say it at all 

Chris Coleman 30:14
and there's another problem, I mean you know, I have friends of mine that have small businesses And they do a range of things and their competition will go on and leave negative reviews And you Google will not let you get rid of it is it is very very very hard to get rid of Those reviews and I have one-on-mind from Seven or eight years ago 

Rich Bennett 30:35
Well, 

Chris Coleman 30:36
was never on a never client Now there are currently like seven different four seasons now because everybody loves my name 

Rich Bennett 30:44
Some matching logos too. 

Chris Coleman 30:46
Yeah. Yeah, it's a good time But you know, they say the best form of flattery is you know someone copying you so, you know That's fine if they want to jump in that bandwagon You know, it is what it is that there's you know, there are things that can be done But at the same time our reputation our quality of work and our Involving in the community speaks for itself So I just let them do what they need to do and we'll still be here as we have been for 40 years But the point was that you know reviews 

Yes, most people are very quickly leave negative reviews not so quickly positive reviews and then people will attack businesses The one I just brought up, you know, there was like 50,000 negative reviews on that you know on that business page Nobody had ever eaten there. No one had partaken in their service or at all. 

Rich Bennett 31:36
All political bullshit 

Greg Derwart 31:37
it? 

Rich Bennett 31:37
is 

Chris Coleman 31:38
Well, he earned it. I mean 

Rich Bennett 31:40
So let's 

Chris Coleman 31:41
call what it is he he said some things that he shouldn't have he got caught on video saying those things and It was wrong That being said that's an issue with that individual's person They were going after his family his kids like all kinds of stuff like it So that's that's where it gets a little bit much for me if you're just pleased with the business don't don't partake in that business If that business is your competitor, you don't need to go in there and do negative reviews when you've never partaked in that business at all so it it's kind of challenging on how that How technology has advanced us to be able to be positive but everything has a good and a bad to it and Yes, we have the ability to quickly be positive, but we also have the ability to be negative

Rich Bennett 32:27
Look at

Greg Derwart 32:30
nuclear energy

You can you can use you know the splitting of an atom to create power for Electricity to have energy or you can use it to blow up a country. 

Rich Bennett 32:42
Oh yeah, 

Chris Coleman 32:44
well, yeah 

Rich Bennett 32:44
I remember when they were building all the nuclear plants everybody was up in arms against 

Chris Coleman 32:49
of 

Rich Bennett 32:49
that 

Chris Coleman 32:49
They shut a couple and they shut a couple and 

Rich Bennett 32:51
a couple 

Chris Coleman 32:52
now they're reopening them because

Rich Bennett 32:54
they need them for the what the data centers

Greg Derwart 32:57
Come up with a mastermind group to figure out how to safely use nuclear 

Robyn Burke 33:02
There 

Greg Derwart 33:02
power

Robyn Burke 33:02
you go about the most 

Chris Coleman 33:04
How Hey, we've won the last couple games. I mean by the time this errors who knows 

Greg Derwart 33:08
bit right 

Chris Coleman 33:08
where a little We had a little bit of excitement for six games 

Robyn Burke 33:13
I 

Rich Bennett 33:14
haven't even are we still in last place, 

Chris Coleman 33:16
We moved up a little bit. 

Rich Bennett 33:18
do we? 

Chris Coleman 33:18
Yeah, I think we moved up a little bit. We've won like the last four 

Rich Bennett 33:21
So we're second the last 

Chris Coleman 33:22
place. Hey, you know 

Rich Bennett 33:23
Progress 

Chris Coleman 33:23
what? is progress 

Rich Bennett 33:26
Where's the, here's the funny thing with it. Well, it's not funny. It's the Orioles. And I was worried about this last year because 

Chris Coleman 33:32
they started 

Rich Bennett 33:33
off strong. And it seems like for several years it was. 

So, 

Chris Coleman 33:49
breaking 

Rich Bennett 33:50
you're worried about someone 

Chris Coleman 33:50
it. 

Rich Bennett 33:50
And then we have a strong finish. The, uh, the Magic Year, what was that? 

89. 

Greg Derwart 33:58
89. The, the why not? Yeah. f***ing? 

Rich Bennett 33:59
I mean, 

Greg Derwart 34:00
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 34:00
who They need a "mastermind" group to 

Greg Derwart 34:04
Huh. 

Rich Bennett 34:05
figure out how to 

Greg Derwart 34:07
win the pennant. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 34:09
when was the last time 83? 

Greg Derwart 34:10
83 was when we beat the fillies. 

Chris Coleman 34:14
Well, hold on. Someone to be that guy. Don't they already? The owner? The GM? The manager? 

Greg Derwart 34:21
Theoretically, 

Chris Coleman 34:22
Yeah. 

Greg Derwart 34:22
yeah. 

Chris Coleman 34:22
The trainers? 

Greg Derwart 34:23
All 

Chris Coleman 34:23
coaches? 

Greg Derwart 34:24
Subject matter experts? 

Chris Coleman 34:25
They all come to the, that is technically a definition of a match monger. So if you look at any business structure or ball team or, you know, sports team or whatever. They each have a mastermind group. You bring experts in from different aspects. From your, you know, field players to, you know, 

Rich Bennett 34:45
batting 

Chris Coleman 34:45
batting at all the different things. And it can be for any sports football, baseball, you know, soccer, any of it. The owners there, the manager. Now whether or not it's a safe place to express open opinions is because anytime you have a business structure, there is always a hierarchy. And we've seen that with managers leaving and getting fired or, you know, whatever coaches getting fired coaches leaving because there isn't an open. safe place to and I hate the word safe place. But either way, it's not an open discussion to where free thinking is allowed. 

Rich Bennett 35:21
The 

Chris Coleman 35:21
And so, but technically that is a mastermind group. And most business structures should be a mastermind group. 

Greg Derwart 35:31
You have an operations expert. You have a market expert. You know, absolutely. 

Robyn Burke 35:37
Well, I not just in the business when we're sitting here talking about this, I think about my granddaughter is in Girl Scouts, and for their bronze awards, they had to do something to benefit the community. So, they did this 

Rich Bennett 35:50
brainstorming 

Robyn Burke 35:51
brains. They were brainstorming and they did this symposium where they invited mostly the grandparents who, you know, we were brought up there. If you burn yourself, you put butter on it. And, 

Rich Bennett 36:05
it's 

Robyn Burke 36:05
you know, 

Rich Bennett 36:05
for lobster. 

Robyn Burke 36:07
They brainstormed for weeks, and they had to do all their research and everything for that. So they really, those of us, we're doing a mastermind. 

Rich Bennett 36:14
Well, I guess you do it in your zone of rotary, right? 

Greg Derwart 36:16
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 36:17
I guess you guys do the same thing. 

Greg Derwart 36:19
Yeah, we're 

Rich Bennett 36:20
We do it. 

Greg Derwart 36:20
having a board meeting next week just to talk about the plan out that community service projects for the coming year. 

Chris Coleman 36:27
Mastermind is everywhere. People just don't realize it. They call 

Greg Derwart 36:31
and 

Chris Coleman 36:31
it, 

Greg Derwart 36:31
may not give it a structure. 

Chris Coleman 36:32
Yeah. Correct. There's not a structure. There isn't a name for it. It's it's a meeting. It's. But again, any meeting with the common goal. 

Rich Bennett 36:39
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 36:40
Of achieving something, bringing in people from different aspects and different experience, and there are all the things that Greg listed off is technically your definition of a mastermind group. 

Rich Bennett 36:50
So what you and I talked about it lunch, technically, that would be like a business collective. And then anything from that they could have there could be mastermind groups inside of that. 

Chris Coleman 37:02
Depending on the topic. 

Rich Bennett 37:03
Well, 

Greg Derwart 37:03
yeah, 

Rich Bennett 37:03
yeah, 

Chris Coleman 37:03
Depending on what it is, you know, I going off of what we talked about, and we talked about getting like minded businesses together and discussing challenges and stuff like that. Like we're talking about something that they were not a part of in the conversation. 

Rich Bennett 37:19
right. 

Chris Coleman 37:19
So to give a little history on that. Richard reached out to me, and we had done lunch, and he was talking about trying to put together a different group. Four businesses with the common goal of helping those businesses to grow and succeed and work through the hurdles and challenges that different businesses run into. 

Rich Bennett 37:40
But not a networking group, 

Chris Coleman 37:42
but not a networking group and we see a lot more networking groups than we do any business development groups. 

Greg Derwart 37:51
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 37:52
And so we were talking about that and he had talked about the word mastermind and look like I said earlier, you can label anything you want. The definition of mastermind has been adapted to basically draw attention, 

Rich Bennett 38:06
right. 

Chris Coleman 38:07
When you put the word mastermind on it, you immediately use the word master. When you use the word, when you use the word master, everybody tends to be more focused and it gets more attention. When you say business development, that has kind of gotten washed down with networking. And so that's where you run into the challenge now in these current times is, what do you label a group that is like-minded individuals who want to help other businesses and grow other businesses? So that could be your common goal. Now is it specific enough? That's up to interpretation. There's no right or wrong answer. The point is is that you're going into this wanting to help the community and willing to help other businesses to succeed and achieve their goals. Now their goals may be more specific and individual to each other, but the ultimate goal is to be successful. 

Rich Bennett 38:57
So 

Chris Coleman 38:58
you could have the mastermind group be growing a successful business and people in there that have smaller aspects of that that are specific to them, whether it be a labor hurdle, a cash flow hurdle, you know, sales hurdle, all different hurdles that businesses run, you know, material hurdles, all those things that they run into, that could be specifics that this group can help with. But the ultimate goal is to help businesses be successful businesses. And also to me, and we see a lot of associated with it. I don't post all the things that we do because I don't agree with my good deeds, or the business is good deeds to be used as a marketing tool. We do a lot of things behind the scenes that I don't post all over 

Rich Bennett 39:46
it. Same. 

Chris Coleman 39:46
But the common goal and the thing that people need to understand is that when you're building a successful business, it shouldn't just be for your own gain. It should be able first and foremost to provide a service or some sort of attribute product, whatever it is for people. So for us, we solve problems. For us, we solve drainage issues. We solve a time issue. So from our landscape management side and maintenance, we're giving people back time. 

Rich Bennett 40:22
Right. 

Chris Coleman 40:22
When we're maintaining your property, do you want to spend an entire Saturday and Sunday? Mo and your grass, pulling on your weeds to update your landscaping? No, because you know what you want to do. You want to go sit at a ball field and he'll hear other parents yell at your kid. did something that the other parent didn't like. You would rather do that. You would rather sit there on the ball field and want to smack another parent on the other side of the field. But that is what we offer. We offer you time. We offer you that time to go to 

Rich Bennett 40:52
They 

Chris Coleman 40:53
smack the parent. You know, I- no, do not recommend smacking the parent. 

You know, we give you that time. And in this day and age, because of the current economy, don't do it great. We're not going down this rabbit hole. In this current economic time, people don't have time. That you have two parents that are working day and night. They're, you know, my sister and lumbar and all. They both work full-time jobs. You know, they both have two kids in sports. You know, they're trying to figure out how to have healthy meals. You know, we talk about the health of society and children or that, well, the reason we don't have healthy children and even healthy adults is because we don't have time to be able to make dinner in home anymore. You know, we don't have stay-at-home moms. Very, the percentage of stay-at-home moms is very, I mean, there are some, but it is very minute, because of the cost of living. And I'm not going down the rabbit hole. It's the why everything cost so much we could sit here and debate that for-- 

Well, that again could be a debate that we're not going to go down either. But, you know, there are, there's things with commitment. And, you know, I also feel that, you know, we've lost a lot of spirituality in our life, no matter what you want to believe in. I feel like we've lost a lot of that. I grew up with spirituality. I was a Piscopalian through my entire early years and then Catholic with my wife. And we don't practice regularly, but we still believe in that, and we believe in the virtues that that provides our family to be better to ourselves and others. So ultimately, for a business standpoint, it's not only do you want to be successful for your own gain, but ultimately the point is that you're building a successful business to fix and help people with their problems, whatever that problem may be, and then ultimately giving back to your community. And that's what business should be about. And that is where a lot of people get lost, because a lot of people go into it into, I want to be rich. 

Rich Bennett 42:46
Exactly. 

Chris Coleman 42:47
And that's all over social media. You see it everywhere. Just be rich, open a business, be rich. Do this. Buy, build a business to sell a business. I know I'm going to give so much life back. I do not believe in building a business to sell a business. Because if you're going into that, just to build something to get a cash payout. 

Rich Bennett 43:02
Mm hmm. 

Chris Coleman 43:03
we're not caring about your clients, you're not caring about your community, you're not your team, your people, nothing, you are literally going into it like you're trying to rob a bank. 

Rich Bennett 43:13
Mm hmm. 

Chris Coleman 43:13
How much money can I get, how fast? 

Rich Bennett 43:16
Yeah, we've seen people do that too. 

Chris Coleman 43:18
We have. And so that, and that may be why I'm not a $20 million landscape company because I didn't build this business to sell it. I built it to give back to my community and provide a service to our community that I felt was needed. And right, you know, right now, that's drainage and stormwater work and giving them time by maintaining their landscaping and their lawn areas and stuff like that. 

Robyn Burke 43:40
So big minded minds are on the decline. 

Chris Coleman 43:44
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 43:44
Yeah. Yeah. I hate cutting the grass in the summertime, but I won't have any kids that play baseball. 

Chris Coleman 43:52
That's because you have to cook. 

Rich Bennett 43:54
I gotta cut the grass to so I can grill, man. 

Greg Derwart 43:57
To get to the grill. The last thing that, um, the polling says in this chapter about mastermind, talks about the fact that this process takes effort. Okay. So he says, and this is within the, this particular section is within the context of building wealth. He says poverty in riches often change places. When riches take the place of poverty, the changes usually brought about through well conceived and carefully executed plans. That's effort. That's work. Poverty needs no plan. it. It needs no one to aid it because it is bold and ruthless, riches are shy intended. They have to be attracted. So that's the effort that it takes. 

Rich Bennett 44:43
You 

Greg Derwart 44:44
So you can't just sit there and wish for the world to change. We need to take 

Rich Bennett 44:50
got 

Greg Derwart 44:50
you know specific proactive efforts. 

Robyn Burke 44:54
I can't wish for it. You got 

Greg Derwart 44:54
to get. 

Chris Coleman 44:56
Well, that's everything, right? So it's like, you know, we, we have a society of instant gratification. I have two teenagers. So I literally and you've teenage grandchildren and have had children, obviously. And so to to equal. 

Robyn Burke 45:10
But I just 

Greg Derwart 45:11
and 

Robyn Burke 45:11
found them out 

Greg Derwart 45:11
adopted the 

Chris Coleman 45:12
Well, 

Greg Derwart 45:12
grand. 

Chris Coleman 45:12
yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't assume. So yes. But even adopted they are your children. Um, so we talk about this all the time is that again, you go back to your social media and everything else is that it instant gratification and so I talk a lot about my beginnings and how I started with the landscape company and working for my dad and all the other stuff. And we were at dinner last night. It was my in laws 50th date anniversary. 

Robyn Burke 45:36
And

Chris Coleman 45:36
so my sister and law put on a great thing and they're one of their first movies that they went and saw. They don't remember exactly, but it was within the first couple of days with jobs. So she set up this whole thing and then talked about, you know, I had them there and, you know, wish them their happy 50th date of worship and stuff like that. And we were just talking about how they met and stuff like that. And I explained to my children, I had before and and her children as well, I was like, everything takes sacrifice. My dad started a company in 1980. I worked for him as an employee without choice for for many decades. And my sister and law was kind of shocked because I told her yesterday. I was like, I made $15 an hour and told her 30. I had a house, I had a house, two cars, and two kids. So my two kids were built or built, but I 

guess they were built born in 2006 and 2008. So I turned 30, 14 years ago. So you can do that. That way. And so for a majority of our early lives, in a relationship and marriage, I mean, $15, I worked for jobs. My wife used to leave dinner in the microwave with a note on the island and I'd get home after she went to bed and I would leave before she got up and left her note telling her to have a good day and she'd get the kids up. You know, she get up at 530. I was already gone. And she give her 530. She worked for the government. Get them up. Ready. Stuff like that. Take them to daycare. Go to work all day. Try to find time to go to the grocery store and lunch break and pick the kids up from daycare. Come home, make dinner, get them baths, give them to bed, and dad wasn't home for 12 years. 

And that's a surprise because my kids see our life now and we have a good life and it has rewarded us greatly through a lot of hard work and luck and relationships. Like Greg talks about. And so people need to realize, you know, the saying I hate the most is it must be nice. And I have, I have, I have let employees go that have said that to me 

Greg Derwart 47:47
Wow. 

Chris Coleman 47:48
because you don't have a clue. And that goes back to not everybody is meant to be an entrepreneur or run a business. But from my personal side of it, it takes sacrifice. And that's what I tell the kids. I said, you have 100% of your energy effort, time, everything else. If you want to have a different life and you want to change your life and be very successful, then you need to be able to sacrifice your time. Because you have to devote a whole lot of time to what that goal is and something else will suffer. And that is a hard realization. 

Rich Bennett 48:21
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 48:22
And you have to figure out what value you have in things and what means the most to me. And to me, my family, my spouse, my children, my extended family, that's what means the most to me. 

Rich Bennett 48:33
Mm-hmm. 

Chris Coleman 48:34
My business, do I care about it? Yes, I've put in so much blood, sweat, and tears, and work in it. Yes, I do care. But does it take precedent? My family absolutely not. Not, I will let it go. I'll close it. I'll sell it. It doesn't matter. 

Rich Bennett 48:44
Right. 

Chris Coleman 48:45
And actually, I did that. I had a hauling company and my wife was like, I didn't marry somebody on the road 29 days out of the month. And I closed it. Because my family was worth more to me. Because that was the time where I was debating. If I was going to continue with the landscaping with my dad or I was going to go and have a big hauling company. And that wasn't what Sarah signed up for. And so I closed it. But it's making that commitment and making that sacrifice. So I sat down with her. I said, I'm not doing this. Are we ending it? Or are we figuring it out? And Sarah looked at me and said, let's figure it out. And she is the most amazing woman I could ever imagine growing into the man I am today, by going through that with her. 

Rich Bennett 49:26
So what you're telling us if if you too didn't sit 

Chris Coleman 49:30
down 

Rich Bennett 49:30
and brainstorm. 

Greg Derwart 49:32
be. There you 

Chris Coleman 49:34
Correct. 

Greg Derwart 49:34
go. Bring it on home. Bring 

Chris Coleman 49:35
And 

Greg Derwart 49:35
it on 

Chris Coleman 49:36
you 

Greg Derwart 49:36
home. 

Chris Coleman 49:36
have to Have to be willing to open yourself up. Like we talked about and have a place where anything can be talked about. And my wife will tell you that I'm her best friend and she's my best friend and we tell each other everything and now the kids are older and driving. We just enjoy watching shows on TV at night. It changes. Everything changes. Because as the kids grow, you stop being on a soccer field or sports field where you're slapping another parent. And you start figuring out spending time. But that's the other thing. So it talks about you talk about investing in things. Since then I have made it a priority that every month no matter what we have a date night, now it's usually every week because the kids are driving. So we'll go once we got the dinner just us. But when the kids were still in middle school and early education years once a month, we will go out on a date just us. And once every three months I would take her somewhere. We use different credit cards and stuff and we have reward points. So even if it would just be the holiday 

Rich Bennett 50:43
end. Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 50:43
Yeah. And you know down the street it was you know the kids would stay with grandma and grandpa sometimes we didn't even have to leave. It was you would give her to the kids and give them the grandma and grandpa and we would have a night to ourselves. And that was just us just for us to connect because you do. You get so busy in life and you see so many couples that after the kids are gone, they don't know who the other one is. And they don't know they they haven't grown together. They've actually grown apart and they've just stayed together to work through the responsibility of having children and taking care of the children. And you see so many people separate or divorce after after the kids go off to college or go out in the world or whatever. And again, it leads back to dedication and time and commitment whether it's business, family, friendships, relationships in general. 

Rich Bennett 51:30
And that is my wife and I do that too. We'll go out once a month to a different restaurant just to eat so I don't have to cook. I just I wanted to say that before you did and then why we do it. But no it's it's a it's a it's a blast. And then when we are home both of us will sit down and eat and you know watch a show together. 

Chris Coleman 51:54
And it's just adjacent right. You know it's just being with that person 

Rich Bennett 51:57
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 51:58
and you know being and having that relationship where you're with that person and you're ultimately here's the thing. You want to bring it full circle you're ultimately brainstorming because you start having conversations right you have conversations that you know because I kind of you know I look at Sarah and I'm like hey let's let's eat dinner watch show you know phones down. Sometimes I succeed sometimes it don't depends on on what what Sarah's feeling that day and that'll get me in trouble. Now I'll dig myself my own hole on this one. Um, but you know, a lot of times when our phones are down, even with the show one, we'll be eating dinner and we'll be talking about our day or whatever else, but then it's like, okay, well, where are we doing tomorrow? What are things with like this or, you know, what trips do we have coming up, you know, or what are we saving for? What do we want to do? It's just continual brainstorming, just an average conversation with the common goal of continuing to better your family. Because we talk about work a lot, you know, and also continuing to better your family's life in experiences. So we're not a big gift giver like my kids have cars and whatever, which is fine, but like, we don't buy a lot of stupid stuff for birthdays. We go and do things. 

Rich Bennett 53:05
Yeah. 

Chris Coleman 53:06
Um, yeah, we do experiences. So we've, you know, we had a camper for a while and we went to Hartburst Ferry. We traveled up and down the East Coast to stuff like that, you know, long weekend trips so we could drive to and do that. And so we always try to give the kids experiences versus stuff. So we're talking about what new experiences we can give the kids. It would be a different island every, every New Year's. So this year we're going to Jamaica. So we take all the kids down to Jamaica, Jamaica for a few days. My wife gets her time to not have to take care of her family. So she goes down there. There's a butler and she meets with them first thing, and then everything is planned and she sits on the beach and doesn't do anything. That is our gift as our family, myself and the kids to give to her for her four or five, six days down there where she doesn't have to do anything. She doesn't have to take care of the dogs, she doesn't take care of the kids. She doesn't figure out what we're having for dinner every night. She doesn't have to clean the house. She doesn't have to, you know, all the things that are unseen. By men in general that women do or vice versa, depending on the roles, it doesn't matter either way, but how one spouse or the other spouse. A lot of what they do is unseen and showing that appreciation to your spouse is again a way to further your relationship and continue to support the growth of your family and everyone in that family. 

Rich Bennett 54:25
And when are we leaving dad. 

Chris Coleman 54:27
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 54:34
Thank

Rich Bennett 54:37
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode, and if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with Rich Bennett dot com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care. Be kind and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together and my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing, software, the hosting and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them and if you can please please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following Real-life real life prosthetics, cutting edge solutions, restoring ability since 2001, go to real life prosthetics dot full circle boards. Nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards visit them at fullcircleboards dot com Sincerely, Sincerely, sincerely, so your photography live in the moment, they'll capture it visit them at sincerely, so you're dot com.