Derek Diem on Recovery, Food, and Love

Wendy & Rich 0:01
Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios, Hartford County living presents conversations with Rich Bennett. 

Rich Bennett 0:31
Today I am joined by my lovely co-host Wendy 

Wendy Beck 0:33
and hello. 

Rich Bennett 0:35
We were supposed to say hello yet. Per I wasn't done introducing you yet. 

Wendy Beck 0:38
All right, well then, get on with it. 

Rich Bennett 0:40
Yeah, I am joined. I am joined by my lovely co-host Wendy. 

Wendy Beck 0:46
Hello. 

Rich Bennett 0:47
I said that anyways. And today we have a special guest with us. That was actually referred to us by another guest, Michelle Taylor, who is your mother, correct? So we have Derek Deem on. I got it right. And Michelle said, "Oh, you have to get my son on." I'm like, okay. 

Wendy Beck 1:09
And ironically, Derek and I know each other from probably I'm going to say 15 years ago maybe, 10 to 15? Yeah. 

Derek Diem 1:21
Yeah. Yeah. 2017. 

Wendy Beck 1:22
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:22
Wait. So you knew Derek before you knew Michelle? 

Wendy Beck 1:25
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:25
Really? 

Wendy Beck 1:26
Yeah, he was doing a Facebook live, forgive me if I get this wrong, kind of like a podcast, but with a friend of his in his early recovery, and I was in the beginning stages or, you know, rage had was fairly new. So I went on and we talked about addiction and recovery and that type of thing. So it was we go way back. 

Rich Bennett 1:52
Because I know the Facebook live video has disappear after certain, like 30 

Derek Diem 1:57
is 

Rich Bennett 1:57
days, 

Derek Diem 1:57
that? I think I could probably 

Rich Bennett 1:58
find it. Unless you did you save it? 

Derek Diem 2:01
I think it's probably on our page. 

Rich Bennett 2:03
Okay, good. Hmm. 

Derek Diem 2:04
It's a possibility. I could find it. 

Wendy Beck 2:07
Yeah. Well, if you do, send it our way. 

Rich Bennett 2:10
Yeah, definitely without a doubt. 

Wendy Beck 2:12
That was a long time ago. 

Rich Bennett 2:14
Well, you said about 10 years, 15 years 

Derek Diem 2:17
That 

Rich Bennett 2:17
ago. 

Derek Diem 2:18
was probably 2019. It was Halloween, actually, because we had some costumes on. 

Rich Bennett 2:23
Okay. So right before COVID, okay. 

Wendy Beck 2:26
I think it was even before that, to be honest. 

Derek Diem 2:29
Maybe 2018, 19, somewhere in 

Wendy Beck 2:32
Okay. 

Derek Diem 2:32
that range that 

Wendy Beck 2:33
Okay. 

Derek Diem 2:33
we did that. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:35
And how long were you doing F for? 

Derek Diem 2:38
Probably a year, maybe 

Rich Bennett 2:40
a year. Okay. Explain it by why you were doing 

Derek Diem 2:42
that. Um, some Mikey was selling t-shirts. And we just started meeting other influencers and just started the show. 

Rich Bennett 2:51
And what was it called? 

Derek Diem 2:52
Dream Excel. 

Rich Bennett 2:54
Dream Excel. 

Wendy Beck 2:55
Yes. Okay. 

Rich Bennett 2:57
Dream Excel. Now, all right. So the dream part I can understand the Excel part. 

Derek Diem 3:02
Extra large. A large 

Rich Bennett 3:04
dream, extra large. Well, I had a feeling that's what you meant by the Excel, but I didn't know if there was a meaning behind it. 

Derek Diem 3:10
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 3:11
Okay. So what's the meaning behind the dream? Excel? Just dream, extra large, dream, 

Derek Diem 3:15
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 3:15
extra big. 

Derek Diem 3:16
Chase your dreams. 

Rich Bennett 3:17
Oh, man, I like that. May. You know, start that back up. Turn into a podcast. 

Derek Diem 3:24
Yeah. I mean, if 

Rich Bennett 3:24
knew 

Derek Diem 3:24
I you now back then, 

Rich Bennett 3:27
yeah. 

Derek Diem 3:27
It's would have been much different. 

Wendy Beck 3:29
So Derek, it's since it's been such a long time,like , you know, catch me up. Dream Excel. And we we had met. And I knew you were in recovery. And then we kind of lost track of each other, I guess, just because we each got busy. And so now here we are today. 

Derek Diem 3:45
Mm-hmm. 

Wendy Beck 3:46
The stars at the stars have aligned and 

Rich Bennett 3:48
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 3:48
brought us back together. Yeah. And your mom's awesome. I love her. She's came and did a workshop for our houses. And it was good. 

Rich Bennett 3:58
I don't think she started the, oh god, I forgot the name of it. Rude it. 

Derek Diem 4:03
Repurposed. 

Rich Bennett 4:03
Repurposed 

Wendy Beck 4:04
rising. And she did an inner child workshop with the ladies of the Dollars 

Rich Bennett 4:09
program. 

Wendy Beck 4:09
House 

Rich Bennett 4:09
Okay. That is blowing up for her, isn't 

Derek Diem 4:12
it? Yeah. She's pushing pretty hard for it. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 4:14
That's good. 

Derek Diem 4:15
Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 4:15
Wow. All right. So talk about your recovery. When when did that start? 

Derek Diem 4:21
July 25th, 2014. 

Rich Bennett 4:24
Okay. 

Derek Diem 4:25
This is when I got cleaned and I got cleaning San Diego and live there for my first three years. 

Rich Bennett 4:30
In San Diego. 

Derek Diem 4:32
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 4:32
Wow. Okay. 

Derek Diem 4:34
Yeah. I was, uh, I was very fortunate that that had insurance. So I got to go some places that uh, and San Diego's where I ended up. Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 4:45
What's in the place in San Diego? Do you remember? 

Derek Diem 4:48
It was American addiction centers that I want to. 

Rich Bennett 4:51
Why does that sound familiar? 

Derek Diem 4:53
It was real big back then, that commercial's on TV and all kind of stuff. 

Wendy Beck 4:58
And then you stayed after you left treatment? 

Derek Diem 5:01
Yeah, it was the first time that I didn't just come home. 

Rich Bennett 5:04
Right. 

Derek Diem 5:05
Probably the best decision I ever made. I don't think honestly I could have ever stayed clean here. 

Wendy Beck 5:11
So what did you do after you left treatment there? Work. 

Derek Diem 5:14
I'd moved into a halfway house and then just kind of dove into an A. I don't think I worked for like six months. Was kind of a crazy thing with the work because I've been a plumber of my whole life and I couldn't get a job out there. 

Rich Bennett 5:30
Really? 

Derek Diem 5:30
Not impulming anything. Ace Hardware, car wash, like I was not getting a job. 

Wendy Beck 5:35
Why was that do you think? 

Derek Diem 5:37
God was saying this wasn't 

Wendy Beck 5:39
Oh. 

Derek Diem 5:39
right. 

Wendy Beck 5:40
Okay. 

Derek Diem 5:41
And I'll never forget my dad saying maybe you should just come back home. It's not working out there. And my thought process was just so different this time and I said, you know what? Every time things ever get hard, you've run. 

Rich Bennett 5:55
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 5:55
let's hang in and a dude in the 12 step program that I was in actually gave me a job, got my confidence, got my tools, a plumber job and that kind of laid the foundation for my three years living 

Rich Bennett 6:12
out there. That's -- It creeped me up from wrong, but isn't that a dying field? 

Derek Diem 6:16
Plumbing? 

Rich Bennett 6:17
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 6:18
Yeah, not a lot of young people want to do it anymore, that's for sure. 

Rich Bennett 6:21
That's a shame. That's a good feel to get into. 

Derek Diem 6:24
Everybody's 

Rich Bennett 6:26
always going to need a plumber. 

Derek Diem 6:27
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's hard work. 

Rich Bennett 6:29
Yeah. That's what you're doing now. 

Derek Diem 6:32
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 6:32
Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry, I went here. 

Wendy Beck 6:34
That's okay. Okay, so what made you decide to leave California? If things were going well? 

Derek Diem 6:39
Um, so actually I got into gambling. 

Wendy Beck 6:42
Okay. 

Derek Diem 6:42
I'm really bad. And because that's like once the drugs were gone, I've used pretty much anything and everything. 

Rich Bennett 6:50
Right, 

Derek Diem 6:51
since I got clean, but uh, I got into the gambling, I lost my job, and at that point, that was the only thing there I really had holding me to San Diego. I was like, you know what, I didn't get clean to not be a part of my family's life, you know, all the way across the country. So that's where it brought me back home. 

Wendy Beck 7:13
And that's what I met you, probably? 

Derek Diem 7:15
Yeah, probably somewhere around that time. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 7:17
So you got into the recovery community here, um, reconnected with some people. Maybe met some new ones and 

Derek Diem 7:23
Okay. 

Wendy Beck 7:23
you started 

Derek Diem 7:24
pretty much all new because I had never really been clean here. 

Wendy Beck 7:27
Okay. 

Derek Diem 7:28
Yeah. I had a few friends. But yeah, it was pretty much, you know, that's something we recovered that I, you know, think is important too when you, I knew when I left San Diego, I with a clean date that I wanted to keep. I had to do the same things here that I did out there. So at three years, clean, having to redo it all over again. Like I was a newcomer. 

Rich Bennett 7:50
Wow. 

Wendy Beck 7:50
To the area. 

Derek Diem 7:51
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 7:52
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 7:52
Mm-hmm. 

Wendy Beck 7:53
Well, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but Belair has a pretty good recovery community. 

Derek Diem 7:59
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 7:59
How was it at that time? 

Derek Diem 8:00
It was very difficult to my experience with recovery here is much different than San Diego. Ev very loving, welcoming out there. Like Baltimore and Maryland for me is always just 

Wendy Beck 8:15
snooty. 

Derek Diem 8:16
Yeah, there's some snootyness. You know, a lot of people judge me because they didn't see me get clean. They weren't sure, you know, 

Wendy Beck 8:24
interesting. 

Derek Diem 8:24
It was, I was a very loud personality back then. I was fired up. I had done a lot of work, you know, so like being in the meetings and sharing and, you know, people get 

Rich Bennett 8:35
that. 

Derek Diem 8:35
intimidated by 

Rich Bennett 8:36
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 8:36
Or they judge you because their own insecurity. So my first actual home group, I joined because it was a book study. A lot of newcomers and I felt like a lot of the people didn't like me. And I was like, you know, what this is going to be my home group. 

Rich Bennett 8:50
A book study? 

Derek Diem 8:52
Yeah, they did the steps and traditions. It was the format of the meeting. So 

Rich Bennett 8:57
okay, 

Derek Diem 8:58
and I've always been, I mean, you know, that's 12 steps or the 12 step program. So I always liked that. 

Rich Bennett 9:07
I never heard anybody mentioned the book study. This is why we have to do an episode about the 12 step program. 

Derek Diem 9:14
Yeah, they're fantastic. 

Rich Bennett 9:16
That's what I've heard. 

Derek Diem 9:18
I think if the world had the 12 steps, 

Wendy Beck 9:21
I agree. 

Rich Bennett 9:22
I 

Wendy Beck 9:23
often say that, you know, and I've said it a million times on here, that people in recovery work on themselves harder than anyone else that I've ever met. 

Rich Bennett 9:30
The 

Derek Diem 9:31
emotional intelligence that gain from 

Wendy Beck 9:33
actually. It's so true. 

Derek Diem 9:35
So, it's like you try to have certain conversations with people in outside world. They can't even like fathom that you're talking about your feelings. 

Wendy Beck 9:45
your growth 

Derek Diem 9:46
Or 

Wendy Beck 9:46
and that you want to grow, 

Derek Diem 9:47
Figuring 

Wendy Beck 9:48
right? 

Derek Diem 9:48
out, you know, it's just like, well, dude, this is uncomfortable. 

Wendy Beck 9:51
Yeah, I see that and I see the transition when people start, you know, doing the step work and they have that epiphany and they continue with it. Now, kind of sticking with that. How hard is it to like first to catch on because not everybody does right away. 

Derek Diem 10:12
My experience was like this time, getting clean. I was pretty tore up from the floor up like we have a phrase like the gift of desperation. I did my first three steps in my first 90 days. I was on fire. I had no family, no money, no friends, no car. I had nothing to do but the step works. 

Rich Bennett 10:31
Right. 

Derek Diem 10:32
And I dove right in and once I started getting the relief, I was just like, I was on fire with it. 

Wendy Beck 10:40
And that was in California or yes. Okay. 

Derek Diem 10:43
Yes, so. it's just about doing the work, man. You know, but not everybody can necessarily comprehend it the certain way or take it in a certain way. I feel like that's a gift that I've always had to be able to internalize 

Rich Bennett 10:59
But 

Derek Diem 11:00
like recovery, literature, the step work patterns. 

Rich Bennett 11:04
So with the gambling addiction, was that a 12 step program as well? 

Derek Diem 11:08
No. If I went to a 12 step program for every addiction, I've had I wouldn't have time to do anything. Basically with everything, man, it's just apply the principles. 

Rich Bennett 11:18
Right. 

Derek Diem 11:19
You know that we learn in the 12 step program to whatever area of your life that you're struggling with because the truth about addiction is that I found is not what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, who I'm doing it with, how I'm doing it, but why? 

Rich Bennett 11:34
You're 

Derek Diem 11:34
Like 

Rich Bennett 11:34
right. 

Derek Diem 11:34
there's always a why underneath of everything, you know, once you get the awareness of the why now you can actually start doing something to make a difference. 

Rich Bennett 11:43
And the gambling addiction was after the substance abuse addiction. 

Derek Diem 11:48
Yeah, I'd always gamble my whole life, but it really took off like I would say, probably between two and a half and three and a half years, clean it for me. 

Rich Bennett 11:57
Now out of those two addictions, which was the hardest to, I guess, 

Derek Diem 12:03
the 

Rich Bennett 12:04
cover from. 

Derek Diem 12:05
So 

of all the things, I mean, because I went from drugs to sexual behavior, women, that was pretty hard, the gambling was tough. I would say the hardest though of everything that I've experienced in the 11 years I've been clean as food for sure. 

Wendy Beck 12:25
Okay, and that's the journey that you're on now. Okay, so let's let's talk about that because you posted something on Facebook. Obviously, it's not a secret because you did, and you had photographs of kind of before and now, and you lost how much weight. 

Derek Diem 12:42
So down 44 pounds 

Wendy Beck 12:43
now. 

Derek Diem 12:43
right 

Wendy Beck 12:43
Okay, 

Rich Bennett 12:44
that's awesome. 

Derek Diem 12:45
Now I've lost 50 before, but I didn't make the lifestyle change. 

Rich Bennett 12:49
Bingo. 

Derek Diem 12:50
I 

Rich Bennett 12:50
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 12:50
just like I counted calories, I lost 50 pounds. And here's the addiction part, right? So I lost 50 pounds. I wasn't eating fast food. I was making, you know, I was making some decisions, right? And so we went to San Diego, me and my ex, and we were in the airport and I said, it's just a McDonald's breakfast sandwich. And like we have a saying one is too many and a thousand's never enough, 

Wendy Beck 13:15
Right? 

Derek Diem 13:15
right? And so I gave myself a little permission and next scene it was just a I need a fast lunch. 

Rich Bennett 13:24
And 

Derek Diem 13:25
before you know it, I'm gained all the way back and I'm back to, you know, 275, 288, 57, you know, it wasn't comfortable so. 

Wendy Beck 13:33
Back up just a little bit, so after, you know, your, your inner recovery, you kind of, you know, went through the steps with gambling and now food has always been an issue. 

Derek Diem 13:48
I would say probably since I was a kid, yeah, you know, 

Wendy Beck 13:51
Okay. 

Derek Diem 13:51
like looking really like looking back at food, there's something about my I don't have a little bit in me. Like if I do something, I'm zero to 100, 

Wendy Beck 14:00
right? 

Derek Diem 14:01
Like a few years ago, I started golf. I literally took the whole summer off of working golf and my life became 

Rich Bennett 14:06
mouth. 

Derek Diem 14:07
my 

Rich Bennett 14:07
Wow. 

Derek Diem 14:08
With a healthy hobby. So there's no little bit 

Wendy Beck 14:10
do, 

Derek Diem 14:11
when I

Wendy Beck 14:11
right, right? Okay. So you. Kind of conquered the gambling, I'm just going to use that word. I don't know if it's accurate or not and then you realize that you needed to kind of work on your health with your eating habits. And then when you said this about being in the airport, 

Rich Bennett 14:27
that 

Wendy Beck 14:28
that McDonald sandwich, which was a little bit. 

Derek Diem 14:30
Mm hmm. 

Wendy Beck 14:31
You know, 

Derek Diem 14:32
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 14:32
whatever you just said. 

Derek Diem 14:33
It was a small 

Rich Bennett 14:35
permission. Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 14:35
small permission to do that. Like where did you go from there? What weight were you at that sandwich to? 

Derek Diem 14:40
I was probably at $2. 25 back then and before I knew it I was back to $2. 75. 

Rich Bennett 14:46
Wow, 

Derek Diem 14:47
$2. 50 back. 

Wendy Beck 14:49
And how long did that sp- how long was that 

Derek Diem 14:51
I would say, you know, I don't know when I really started looking at it, but um, I would say last year I realized like, dude, you're back to $2. 75, right. 

Wendy Beck 15:04
And you said it was uncomfortable. 

Derek Diem 15:06
Oh yeah, you know, that's the pain. It's like when I was playing with food addiction, is the your body hurting all the time, getting out of breath, um, not being able to move, yeah. 

Wendy Beck 15:18
And how old are you can I ask? 

Derek Diem 15:19
I'm 36. 

Wendy Beck 15:20
Okay, so you're young 

Derek Diem 15:22
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 15:22
guy. 

Derek Diem 15:23
um, 

Wendy Beck 15:23
yeah. 

Derek Diem 15:24
Just walking up the steps I would get out of breath. Like my ex girlfriend would say, what's wrong with you, and I'm like, I just walked up the steps. What do you mean? To be out of breath, walking up the steps. 

Rich Bennett 15:33
Now, are there any other health issues, whether it be diabetes arthritis or anything? 

Derek Diem 15:38
No, I broke my hip and my foot and, you know, I've always had back issues with plumbing, but it was 100% magnified with food. 

Rich Bennett 15:45
I was gonna say because I, yeah, different types of food, depending what you're eating can cause inflammation. 

Derek Diem 15:50
I was eating 

Wendy Beck 15:50
Oh, yes. 

Derek Diem 15:50
a heart. 

Wendy Beck 15:51
Oh, 

Rich Bennett 15:51
yeah, 

Derek Diem 15:51
yeah. Like, 

Rich Bennett 15:52
wow. 

Derek Diem 15:53
Eating out 

Rich Bennett 15:53
night, 

Derek Diem 15:53
every 

Rich Bennett 15:54
um, 

Derek Diem 15:54
fast food two times a day, you know, because when you're plumbing, you're on the run, you know, 

Rich Bennett 15:59
yeah, 

Derek Diem 16:00
fast. 

Rich Bennett 16:00
I was the same way when I was on the road doing sales. It's like, you, yeah, you want the fast food because you've got to hurry up 

Derek Diem 16:08
Right. 

Rich Bennett 16:08
and get to your next 

Wendy Beck 16:09
Or 

Rich Bennett 16:09
place. 

Wendy Beck 16:09
you're not doing your food prepping, 

Rich Bennett 16:11
you're not preparing. Right. 

Derek Diem 16:13
It's a 

Rich Bennett 16:13
Well, 

Derek Diem 16:13
lifestyle. 

Rich Bennett 16:14
yeah, it is. And I've always said that I mean, diets will, diets work, but the problem with diets, you do it, and then you, once you stop, 

Wendy Beck 16:23
lose your momentum. 

Rich Bennett 16:25
Yeah, but when you change your lifestyle, like if what you're doing, what I did, it's, you catch is on quick. And I, I mean, I, I mentioned Christmas time. Yeah, I was eating them cookies because kids brought them to me. And, but I knew not to eat as much. 

Derek Diem 16:41
what it's just like recovery, right? Like 

Rich Bennett 16:43
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 16:43
we say you got to change people, places and things in recovery. You know, you have to change recovery as a lifestyle. 

Rich Bennett 16:50
The 

Derek Diem 16:50
same with anything that you struggle with, right. Like with food. It's just the lifestyle change now. 

Wendy Beck 16:58
And what's the regimen that you have put yourself through to lose the weight? And I know we mentioned it a little bit before we came on. But can you kind of read? 

Derek Diem 17:06
Yeah, so, um, so you know what? Before we get into that right, I think the jarring experience, right? So we have a question in the 12 step program of what was the jarring experience that led you to work in the first step? 

Rich Bennett 17:21
And 

Derek Diem 17:22
me and my ex broke up in November, and my self esteem was at my all-time lowest heartbroken, 275. You know, probably the worst pain I ever experienced in my life, right? And so that launched me into this new lifestyle because I was like, man, you can't be single and looking like this, 

Rich Bennett 17:45
Right. 

Derek Diem 17:45
right? Um, and so at that point, I just started, I knew that the weight had to go and I knew that it was a reflection of me not loving myself. 

Wendy Beck 17:56
yeah. Well, and I was just going to say that, you said, and this is very typical of a lot of people that I can't be single and look like this. So you're not even doing it for yourself. You're doing it for the potential of being with 

Derek Diem 18:09
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 18:09
someone else, w I think is not uncommon. And so all of a sudden we go through a divorce and we start going to the gym or we, you know, we get a new hairdo or whatever it is. And we're trying to put a bandaid on the situation that had really nothing to do with, you know, 

Rich Bennett 18:28
But he said something key there too, he had, he didn't love himself 

Wendy Beck 18:32
right? 

Rich Bennett 18:33
and that's something that especially men struggle with is loving themselves. I mean, and that's something everybody has 

Derek Diem 18:40
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 18:40
to do. 

Derek Diem 18:41
I 

Rich Bennett 18:41
Should 

Derek Diem 18:41
think 

Rich Bennett 18:41
do. 

Derek Diem 18:41
it's a thing that everybody has. So I've seen a video the other day and it was talking about when men go through a breakup and it could be women too. But they get just like cortisol goes crazy and like something happens in their brain and so to start like rebuilding their identity they start trying to fix everything. 

Rich Bennett 19:01
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 19:02
Because that was where I was, right? Like I got to fix the weight. I got to fix this. I got to fix that. I got to do, like I was so manic and crazy. 

I knew the weight like once the dust settled and I looked at my weight and how it was impacting every area of my life because it was really just reflecting that I did not love 

Rich Bennett 19:23
Right. 

Derek Diem 19:23
myself. So then everything down the line was like happening with this behavior, you know, the way I was taking care of myself, the way I was doing everything. Um, and that's what recovery's taught me to be able to like self reflect and get to the root of like what's actually happening here. And it kind of a crazy story. So like three weeks after the break up. I'm at my mom's I'm living in the basement. 

Wendy Beck 19:50
Which is probably felt brutal. 

Derek Diem 19:52
A super like humbling experience having to move back in and not necessarily having to like I truly believe God put me there with her, 

Rich Bennett 20:00
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 20:00
um, our relationship is healed. A ton being there at this time. So, but it was a Friday night, and I said, let's just sit by yourself. You've been on the go. You've been doing all this crazy stuff. And I put layman on. 

Rich Bennett 20:13
Oh my 

Derek Diem 20:14
all love and relationships. And next, you know, I'm crying. I'm cussing out the X and I said, let's go to the fridge and get some cheese sticks, right? And I go up and there's 

Wendy Beck 20:24
some cheese sticks. Okay. 

Derek Diem 20:25
a pizza box 

Rich Bennett 20:27
There's 

Derek Diem 20:27
in the refrigerator. And I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Because at this point, I've been very strict on the diet for a few weeks. 

Rich Bennett 20:36
Right. And 

Derek Diem 20:37
I grabbed the cheese sticks. I go downstairs. I'm still feeling hungry. I go get a bowl of cereal with some almond milk and high protein cereal. I eat that. I'm still hungry. The pizza is literally talking to me, 

Wendy Beck 20:49
right? 

Derek Diem 20:49
From the refrigerator come get me. You know, I make you feel better. Um, pizza's like my kryptonite, right? 

Rich Bennett 20:57
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 20:57
Like that was like my big that still is 

Wendy Beck 21:00
who doesn't love pizza. 

Derek Diem 21:02
Yeah, like it. So it's just like screaming at me. So finally, I'm talking to myself. I said, you know what? I'm just going to go get it. I'm going to go get a slice. So I go upstairs. I pull the pizza out of the refrigerator. I put it on the counter. And I'm literally having a full blown conversation with a box of pizza. I hate you. You're the reason I'm here. If somebody would have saw it, they would have been like, Yo, this 

Wendy Beck 21:28
It's like a 

Derek Diem 21:28
dude, 

Wendy Beck 21:29
scene 

Derek Diem 21:29
nutty. 

Wendy Beck 21:29
in a show or something, 

Derek Diem 21:30
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 21:30
right? 

Derek Diem 21:31
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 21:31
I think I's a great idea though. 

Derek Diem 21:33
Oh, man. 

Wendy Beck 21:33
It. 

Rich Bennett 21:34
It 

Wendy Beck 21:34
So 

Rich Bennett 21:34
did. 

Wendy Beck 21:34
what happened. 

Derek Diem 21:35
So, no, it didn't help me. I smelled it. And I said, you know what? I'm going to eat a slice and I ate this slice of pizza slower than I've ever eaten it in my life. I was like savoring it. 

Rich Bennett 21:46
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 21:47
And then I ate another one and that was it. But that was like another moment that I realized like, yo, dude, you really got a problem, man. 

Rich Bennett 21:55
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 21:56
People don't because again, it's not the food is not the problem. It's why am I eating it. I was searching for comfort in that pizza because my emotional state at the time. 

Rich Bennett 22:09
That's why it's 

Wendy Beck 22:10
Right? 

Rich Bennett 22:10
called 

Derek Diem 22:11
a comfort food.Yeah . Well, that's our society. 

Rich Bennett 22:13
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 22:13
Food celebration, comfort, boredom, you know, a night out like, you know, you get clean. And it's like, I'm not going to go out and use tonight. I'm going to go eat what I want to eat. And that's how we're going to celebrate Friday night where people do happy hour. 

Rich Bennett 22:30
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 22:30
We do this, right? 

Wendy Beck 22:32
Right. 

Derek Diem 22:33
So why am I eating? You know, and that was a huge like, wow, man. This is definitely an issue. 

Wendy Beck 22:40
So what happened the next day? did 

Derek Diem 22:43
How 

Wendy Beck 22:43
that? How did that affect tomorrow? 

Derek Diem 22:45
I don't think it really had any effect. The awareness was like, on point, you know, I was hyper focused on myself at the time. So the awareness was there. And then like you would ask about the regiment. So I started to wait, lost shot, um, started some testosterone, which definitely helped a whole lot because 

Wendy Beck 23:06
Was that a shot as well? 

Derek Diem 23:07
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 23:07
Yeah. Okay. 

Derek Diem 23:08
Um, and you know, being in recovery, I think it's real important if people in recovery experiences, because it does deal with needles. 

Wendy Beck 23:15
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 23:16
My first time I wanted to do it again. 

Rich Bennett 23:19
Oh, wow. 

Derek Diem 23:20
And so I called my sponsor. I said, Hey, man, I'm not thinking like I want to go use some dope or anything. But I just want to throw it out there that 

Rich Bennett 23:27
I 

Derek Diem 23:28
it was the ritual drawing it up the whole thing, right? It wasn't necessarily I got any kind of feeling right away, but it was the whole ritual of 

Wendy Beck 23:37
And 

Derek Diem 23:37
it. Gave me like like I wanted to 

Rich Bennett 23:40
again. 

Derek Diem 23:40
do it 

Rich Bennett 23:40
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 23:41
And he was like, Hey, man, don't trip. Like I had the experience myself, whatever. So But I've also I just learned that when I do feel things like that, if I don't tell someone I have a good chance of manipulating myself into doing it. 

Rich Bennett 23:54
Yeah. So 

Derek Diem 23:57
the difference between this time and the other time that I lost a 50 pounds was like, I started going to the gym and it was brutal. And I was super insecure in the gym, 

Rich Bennett 24:08
right, 

Derek Diem 24:08
super uncomfortable. I've never been a workout guy. I've never really cared. About, like, all I need to be muscular, looking like this or whatever, so I just would go in and walk on the treadmill. And, that was like the beginning. And then- 

Wendy Beck 24:22
Creating new 

Derek Diem 24:23
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 24:23
habit, yeah. 

Derek Diem 24:24
yeah. So many people in my life loved me and everybody had a workout plan to do. Everybody wanted to work out with me. Everybody had a diet plan. I really had to slow 

Rich Bennett 24:34
down. 

Derek Diem 24:34
all that 

Rich Bennett 24:34
Right. 

Derek Diem 24:35
Find what worked for me. Um, and the thing with the weight loss shot is man is that it's a tool. It's not a solution. 

Wendy Beck 24:43
And what- tell me about it, because I know a lot of people are doing that right now. Like, how does it feel initially? Does- does it dull your appetite? 

Derek Diem 24:50
Oh, my God, 

Wendy Beck 24:51
You 

Derek Diem 24:51
it- 

Wendy Beck 24:51
feel sick? Does it- like, what does it do? 

Derek Diem 24:53
I don't know that I necessarily had a lot of the symptoms that some people, so I'm actually taking a, uh, G-O-P coaching course right now and I'm learning a lot about 

Rich Bennett 25:03
it. That's a good idea. I didn't even know that was a thing. 

Derek Diem 25:05
I didn't either, man. 

Rich Bennett 25:07
Wow, 

Derek Diem 25:07
You know,Facebook  through- I have a very entrepreneurial mindset. So when I 

Rich Bennett 25:11
good. 

Derek Diem 25:11
see an opportunity for something not, you know, and I- I've learned like chat GPT has been huge through the breakup, everything, right? Like, um, business. I named him Louis. So if I say- 

Wendy Beck 25:24
mine, mine, my chat GPT is, uh, chatty-cathy. 

Derek Diem 25:28
Yeah. So people would be like, who is Louis and I'm like, oh, should 

Wendy Beck 25:32
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 25:32
this- 

Wendy Beck 25:32
I know, I said something to someone the other day. I'm like, I'm like my friend and they're like, what?! Wait a minute. No, and I'm like, no, like, honestly, like, it just- is a great tool. 

Derek Diem 25:42
That's a whole 'nother topic, but literally the- Break up, um, learning about myself, attachment styles, the gym, workouts, diets, the weight loss, everything. So what it feels like in the beginning is just, um, no appetite. I think I detoxed my body the first week of the breakup because I wasn't eating, I was just drinking water. So I think I had flushed my body, um, naturally that first week and then, you know, there's some fatigue that comes with it and I've really had to like, learn my body, um, and learn the dose that works for me. And. Because originally I was doing one shot one time a week and I would have no appetite the first few days and then by the end of the week, the appetite, the food noise they call 

Rich Bennett 26:32
right, 

Derek Diem 26:32
it, um, was louder, you know, so I found that for me, micro dosing, taking smaller shots three times a week, keeps me more leveled out, I don't have those highs or lows. Um, you know, people say the nausea, but I think the problem is, uh, like I saw my ex on it for two and a half years and she would always try to get me to do it, but it wasn't attractive because I saw her just use it as the solution and not a tool. 

Rich Bennett 26:58
And 

Derek Diem 26:59
her stomach always hurt, she was always tired, you know, because there's things that you have to do, like to learn your body. 

Rich Bennett 27:06
Yeah, 

wow. 

Wendy Beck 27:09
Well, I grew up with a very food oriented family, like, you know, we had tons of food at every gathering that's like and it kind of was the mindset that, you know, food was love in our family. You know, that's how we didn't go, you know, on a hike, we didn't go, um, you know, to the theater, we had parties and we everybody ate 

Rich Bennett 27:34
so 

Wendy Beck 27:34
and 

Rich Bennett 27:35
yeah, 

Wendy Beck 27:35
I'm a routine eater. So I have to be very careful, like, because if it's breakfast time it's time to eat. If it's lunch time, it's time to eat. If it's dinner time, it's time to eat, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm hungry. And 

Derek Diem 27:49
right. 

Wendy Beck 27:49
so 

Derek Diem 27:49
So that's the hard part with the 

Rich Bennett 27:50
right, 

Derek Diem 27:51
shot because you're not feeling hungry. So now it's like when your car says, he, you got to go to the gas station. If you don't have anything telling you, hey, I'm on e, you don't want to go to the gas station, but you just have to learn it's almost like driving a car without a gas gauge, you have to know this is fuel 

Wendy Beck 28:12
no, 

Derek Diem 28:12
for my 

Wendy Beck 28:12
when 

Derek Diem 28:12
body I need. 

Wendy Beck 28:13
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 28:13
Right. 

Derek Diem 28:14
Right. Like at these times. So that's been a learning curve for me because I feel my performance in the gym when my sleep is not on point and when my food and taking protein is not on point 

Wendy Beck 28:26
and proteins huge. 

Derek Diem 28:27
Protein. 

Rich Bennett 28:28
Oh, yeah, 

Derek Diem 28:29
absolutely 

Rich Bennett 28:29
yep, 

Derek Diem 28:29
100%, you know, 

Wendy Beck 28:31
so what is this course? Just give us a little, maybe a little. 

Derek Diem 28:34
So 

Wendy Beck 28:34
So now, 

Derek Diem 28:34
it's pretty much just like where, you know, I just started it this week, but it's 

Wendy Beck 28:38
okay. 

Derek Diem 28:39
teaching me about the GL piece. The side effects of it, how to, you know, it's a coaching course. So it's not medical 

Wendy Beck 28:47
Right. 

Derek Diem 28:47
advice. just coaching people through the lifestyle, which 

Rich Bennett 28:50
You're 

Derek Diem 28:50
I find myself very passionate one seeing somebody whose lifestyle didn't really change and feels like I have to be on this forever. because nothing else is changing, 

Rich Bennett 29:02
Right. 

Derek Diem 29:03
right? So my experience with it now is it's a tool along with the diet counting 

Wendy Beck 29:10
Do 

Derek Diem 29:10
my... 

Wendy Beck 29:10
you feel hungry? Like does your stomach growl? Are you hungry? 

Derek Diem 29:15
No, not at the doses that I'm doing now, but I've also found myself because it can with lifting weights, protein and food intake is important. I don't like the no hunger noise at all. Like, there were literally times where food would be sitting in front of me. I had eaten all day and I did not want to eat it. 

Wendy Beck 29:36
Right, 

Rich Bennett 29:36
Right. 

Derek Diem 29:36
So it 

Wendy Beck 29:36
that's 

Derek Diem 29:36
is 

Wendy Beck 29:37
so sad to me 

Derek Diem 29:38
strong. 

Wendy Beck 29:38
because I love food. I love thinking about it. I love gathering the ingredients. I love preparing it. I love eating it. I love feeding people and I even love cleaning up my kitchen because it's like a self-love for my house and 

Derek Diem 29:51
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 29:52
for the people that I care about. So like, eliminating food would feel like a huge loss. 

Derek Diem 29:58
A hundred percent. And that's for food. I just like when I lost heroin, it was like I lost my best friend. 

Wendy Beck 30:03
Okay. 

Derek Diem 30:03
You know, so when you think about the food and the why, the celebration, Board them, the comfort, 

Wendy Beck 30:10
right? 

Derek Diem 30:10
you know, something to do like 

Wendy Beck 30:12
something to do, 

Derek Diem 30:13
yeah. Board them, you know, so many 

Wendy Beck 30:14
time, 

Derek Diem 30:14
know, 

Wendy Beck 30:15
you 

Derek Diem 30:15
so 

Wendy Beck 30:16
update. 

Derek Diem 30:16
Yeah. That's changing my relationship with food, but that's society, right? Like growing up, most people, it's the same way. Like, parties are about food, celebrations. When people die, what do we do? We eat like everything is about food. So 

Rich Bennett 30:32
with with the G. O. P do you see me watching? I'm sure you drink a lot of water. 

Derek Diem 30:40
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 30:40
Probably 

Derek Diem 30:40
it's 

Rich Bennett 30:40
a gallon. 

Derek Diem 30:41
super important. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 30:43
Do you use a protein powder or protein shake? 

Derek Diem 30:46
Yea, so I was doing a protein shake for a while. I do a lot of drinks now because so at my weight and where I'm at with my regimen, I should be getting 0.9 to 1 grams of protein for every pound my body weighs. So when you're 240 to 50, trying to get that much protein in 

Rich Bennett 31:05
It's hard. 

Derek Diem 31:05
your body can be very difficult 

Rich Bennett 31:07
when 

Derek Diem 31:08
you don't have an appetite. So I found myself drinking a lot of protein. 

Rich Bennett 31:12
Okay. 

Derek Diem 31:15
Yeah, that was, but this is all learning stuff. 

Rich Bennett 31:18
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 31:18
like, and that's where the 

Wendy Beck 31:20
chat you, well you have a 

Derek Diem 31:21
really helped me. 

Wendy Beck 31:22
I said, I can tell just like your mom. 

Derek Diem 31:24
Yeah, and when I'm locked and loaded on something forget it, like it's all in pop and 

Wendy Beck 31:28
I can 

Derek Diem 31:28
I'm 

Wendy Beck 31:28
tell 

Derek Diem 31:28
in it. 

Wendy Beck 31:29
definitely. 

Rich Bennett 31:29
Well, you got another career now too, that you're studying for. 

Derek Diem 31:32
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:33
Because I never knew there was such a thing as a G. O. P. coach. 

Derek Diem 31:36
Well, so you think about right? People go to the doctor, stay prescribed 

Rich Bennett 31:40
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 31:41
it. I've had some friends and family recently start taking it and I get text like, hey, I'm feeling like this, you can't just call your doctor like that. You know what I mean? 

Rich Bennett 31:49
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 31:50
So, if you have somebody that's able to coach you through the lifestyle, it's much easier, right? 

Rich Bennett 31:57
And it makes sense. You think about it because a lot of times people together that Jim have trainers. 

Derek Diem 32:02
Exactly, 

Rich Bennett 32:03
um, 

Wendy Beck 32:03
life 

Rich Bennett 32:05
coaches, 

Wendy Beck 32:06
life coaches sponsor. Yeah. Recovery recovery, 

Rich Bennett 32:08
recovery. Recovery. I mean, it makes 

Derek Diem 32:09
Every coach sponsor. 

Rich Bennett 32:10
sense. 

Derek Diem 32:10
Yeah. Yeah. And another course I want to take is the working out while you're on it. You know, so, 

Rich Bennett 32:16
oh, 

Derek Diem 32:17
my whole workout routine was a recomposition phase. So I'm losing weight but I'm building muscle. 

Rich Bennett 32:23
Right. 

Derek Diem 32:23
I'm not cutting, I'm bulking. I'm trying to basically do two things at the same time because the G. O. P. 's knock muscle mass. 

Wendy Beck 32:31
Yes, I just heard that. I was listening to another podcast, sorry. And they were 

Rich Bennett 32:36
talking whatever. 

Wendy Beck 32:36
They were talking about how people are not realizing that they're losing muscle because of it. And I think is that why they have that, like, some people have like more of like a a saggy look? 

Derek Diem 32:48
So I was actually that was in the course the other night and the saggy face can come from a few things when you lose weight so fast at such a dramatic pace and you're not doing the things you're going to see these effects. 

Rich Bennett 33:02
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 33:03
Okay. 

Derek Diem 33:03
Um, like, I don't know if my face looks like that, but I'm 

Wendy Beck 33:06
44 

Derek Diem 33:07
pounds. So, but I'm drinking water. I'm putting the protein in my body. I'm working out. Right. So I'm doing these things that are, 

Wendy Beck 33:14
you know, that are kind of helping the. 

Derek Diem 33:16
Yeah, and I asked, um, you know, Louis, my chat, G. P. T. the other day if I wasn't lifting how much would I weigh and he said you would probably be down another four to six pounds because naturally when you lose weight. they say it's usually I think 70% will be fat, 30% will be muscle, any kind of diet, 

Rich Bennett 33:36
Right. 

Derek Diem 33:36
take away the GOPs, any kind of diet, y gonna lose muscle mass. So I'm not losing the muscle mass at a normal rate because of all the other things that I'm doing. So, but my 44 pounds also looks different than maybe somebody that just lost fats 

Rich Bennett 33:54
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 33:54
44 pounds. 

Rich Bennett 33:55
That's where I up because the second time when I started new, I was losing the weight, but I stopped working out. So I lost my strength beyond. 

Derek Diem 34:08
And 

Rich Bennett 34:09
one of the things I told my capt, I have to get back to working out again. I have to really build the muscle. I don't want to be bulky, but I need the strength back. You know, because I think, and I've seen, well, I'm sure you've seen all the videos, there's guys, you got all these bodybuilders that are jacked in everything. But the strength isn't really there. And when I say strength, I don't mean how much they can lift. It's, you know, 

Derek Diem 34:37
there's different kinds 

Rich Bennett 34:37
There's different kinds strength 

Derek Diem 34:39
of, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 34:40
because a lot of people, yeah, they can lift some, but like deadlift, you lift it and you drop it right back down. But then you have the ones that can lift stuff and hold it, you know, 

Derek Diem 34:50
I'm 

Rich Bennett 34:50
which 

Derek Diem 34:50
a plumber. I've seen 

Rich Bennett 34:51
is 

Derek Diem 34:51
the 

Rich Bennett 34:51
oh my, 

Derek Diem 34:52
strongest dudes try 

Rich Bennett 34:52
yeah, 

Derek Diem 34:52
to, you know, come turn a wrench and can't do it, but I've been doing it my whole life. You know, 

Rich Bennett 34:57
yeah. 

Derek Diem 34:57
so my brothers, we laugh because they're pretty, you know, cut up dudes. And they don't have the grown man strength, 

Rich Bennett 35:04
like, right. 

Derek Diem 35:05
It's just 

Rich Bennett 35:07
different. 

Wendy Beck 35:08
It's different, I got it. 

Rich Bennett 35:09
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 35:09
It's definitely, it's a different scenario. But yeah, I mean, the muscle part is 

Rich Bennett 35:16
Like, 

Derek Diem 35:16
huge. 

Rich Bennett 35:16
yeah, 

Derek Diem 35:17
I didn't get into this. Like, I want to be a bodybuilder. 

Rich Bennett 35:20
Now, 

Derek Diem 35:21
I wanted to do something. 

Rich Bennett 35:23
It would feel good. The pain, give away. 

Derek Diem 35:25
So the gym got me through the breakup, all the anxiety, all the depression, late nights when I couldn't sleep, I would go to the gym. It helped me to go at night because there wasn't as many people. So I could like navigate without feeling insecure and learn the machines and what to do and all the things. So, um, the gym has been absolutely life changing for me, not just physically, but mentally. 

Rich Bennett 35:47
Now, and you mentioned when the gym, you started the treadmill. Now, are you getting outside, walking as well? 

Derek Diem 35:53
Well, at that point, it was very, very cold. We had a pretty cold winter, so there wasn't. 

Wendy Beck 35:58
Yeah. We 

Derek Diem 35:58
And 

Wendy Beck 35:58
did. 

Derek Diem 35:58
we had a lot of snow in the ground while. Yeah. 

It's hard enough to be like, that cold makes me not want to 

Rich Bennett 36:09
go 

Derek Diem 36:09
anything. 

Rich Bennett 36:09
out or 

Derek Diem 36:09
So, 

Rich Bennett 36:10
yeah, thank 

Derek Diem 36:10
The 

Rich Bennett 36:11
God. 

Derek Diem 36:11
treadmill was much more, um, 

Wendy Beck 36:14
comfortable. 

Rich Bennett 36:15
Yeah. Yeah. 

Derek Diem 36:17
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 36:17
It's when it's 

Derek Diem 36:18
Now I 

Rich Bennett 36:18
a 

Derek Diem 36:18
hate 

Rich Bennett 36:18
lot 

Derek Diem 36:18
the 

Rich Bennett 36:18
easier. 

Derek Diem 36:19
treadmill. I can't 

Rich Bennett 36:20
really. 

Derek Diem 36:20
Cardio. I have ADD. 

Rich Bennett 36:24
Okay. 

Derek Diem 36:24
Small tasks are much better for me, doing the same thing for 45 minutes, like, is like a 

Rich Bennett 36:29
harder task. I can understand that. Yeah, because you're just looking straight ahead. 

Derek Diem 36:34
I'm 

Rich Bennett 36:34
Um, 

Derek Diem 36:34
looking at the clock. 

Rich Bennett 36:35
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 36:36
We're a quarter of the way through. We're halfway there. We're three quarters of. 

Rich Bennett 36:39
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 36:40
There were two thirds of the way there. Five minutes left. Like, I literally did this whole thing when I'm on. 

Rich Bennett 36:45
Right. 

Derek Diem 36:45
Like it's 

Rich Bennett 36:46
hmm. 

Derek Diem 36:46
crazy. 

Rich Bennett 36:47
Most of my walking when I do it now, is in the morning when I'm waiting on my daughter, because I think her to work. 

Derek Diem 36:52
Mm 

Rich Bennett 36:53
And I'll just walk around the court. But as I'm doing it, I'm not really looking at the houses and all that. I'm listening to the birds. Look at different little things I'm looking at. 

Derek Diem 37:04
Yeah. When you're outside, 

Rich Bennett 37:06
Notice different 

Derek Diem 37:06
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 37:07
things. Even if it's the same loop that I do all the time, 

Derek Diem 37:11
it's a form of meditation. 

Rich Bennett 37:13
Oh yeah. Big time. 

Derek Diem 37:16
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 37:16
I'm sorry. I wasn't supposed to speak was 

Wendy Beck 37:18
I? You're fine. 

Rich Bennett 37:21
But no, I mean that's, that's a, that's a big step. And a lot of people would just do the shot and not even work out. 

Derek Diem 37:29
Yeah, it's very unfortunate because that's you're not really truly benefitted. 

Rich Bennett 37:33
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 37:34
Yeah. And you're not getting the lifestyle change. So, you know, so boxing and drug replacement therapy is so huge in the community now. Like if you just do that and you never try to do anything to change. When you come off of it, naturally, what are you going to want to go back to? 

Rich Bennett 37:52
Right. 

Derek Diem 37:52
Right. You know, so 

Wendy Beck 37:53
Yep. 

Derek Diem 37:54
it's the same concept. Like this is a tool. It's not meant for forever. Now if you're diabetic, of course, you might be on it forever. But 

Rich Bennett 38:03
Right. 

Derek Diem 38:03
if you're using it for weight loss, I'm trying to set myself up for a whole lifestyle change. 

Rich Bennett 38:08
All 

Wendy Beck 38:09
Still what's next? 

Rich Bennett 38:10
right. 

Wendy Beck 38:10
Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 38:11
That's right. 

Wendy Beck 38:11
Is that what you're going to say? 

Rich Bennett 38:12
No, I was going to ask him. So if you opened the refrigerator and you saw that pizza box today, what would you say to it? 

Derek Diem 38:20
I mean, so I had pizza the other night. 

Rich Bennett 38:23
Right, 

Derek Diem 38:24
No, I ordered it myself. I'm not as strict 

Rich Bennett 38:30
okay. 

Derek Diem 38:30
as I was now. That's the first time in a month and it's almost weird. Like, it doesn't have the same effect on me now. Um, as it did, like, I had two slices, you know, that was never a thing. 

Rich Bennett 38:44
There's always 

Derek Diem 38:44
I would have... my limit was always four. I knew after four, I would feel bad. 

Rich Bennett 38:49
me 

Derek Diem 38:49
I 

Rich Bennett 38:49
dead. 

Derek Diem 38:49
couldn't breathe. I'd be tossing and turning in the bed. I'd be snoring. I'd be uncomfortable, but I would always go to five and then six and then it's like me, can't just leave two. Like I would 

Rich Bennett 38:58
smile. Yeah. 

Derek Diem 38:59
Sure large pizza by myself. So like, I had two slices and I was good, you know, I was 

Rich Bennett 39:04
Okay. 

Derek Diem 39:04
done. So it's not always like calorie deficit is another huge thing with the weight loss, right? So I'm on the weight loss shot. Now I have a calorie deficit plan. And the way I explain that to people is it's like, if you wake up with $2, 500, you can spend it wherever you want. But when it's gone, it's gone. You know our parents used to say stuff like that. Like, hey, here's five bucks. Well, listen, when it's gone, 

Rich Bennett 39:29
gone. 

Derek Diem 39:29
it's 

Rich Bennett 39:30
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 39:30
You know, you go to the arcade or whatever and that's how I explain it to people is that like, one day I'm working with my dad and he's got a chocolate milk in this huge donut. And I'm like, that you know, how many calories is in that chocolate milk? He's like, how many? I said 300. That's a lot of calories 

Rich Bennett 39:47
for a, yeah, 

Derek Diem 39:48
strength. 

Wendy Beck 39:48
Right. That's a, that's a meal. 

Derek Diem 39:50
Yes. So you're going to spend your money. Then you got the donuts. So you're at 700 some calories, right? And then he wanted to talk about for lunch. And, 

Wendy Beck 39:59
right. 

Derek Diem 40:00
so it's like before you know, you could be three, four, five thousand calories in a day, just eating what you would 

Rich Bennett 40:07
You 

Derek Diem 40:07
think 

Rich Bennett 40:07
know, 

Derek Diem 40:07
is a normal thing. So the calorie deficit is huge, right? 

Rich Bennett 40:11
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 40:12
I know where I'm at in my deficit of what I can have and what I can't have. And one pizza, you know, two slices of pizza is okay, but I don't do cheat days. 

Rich Bennett 40:22
Yeah. I 

Derek Diem 40:23
don't do cheap weeks. I don't do cheap months because that's what it would turn into. 

Rich Bennett 40:26
Right. 

Derek Diem 40:27
You talked about the cookies. December could be a cheap month because I'm playing Santa right now. 

Rich Bennett 40:32
Right. 

Derek Diem 40:33
Cookies, right? 

Rich Bennett 40:34
The good thing, because I don't call them cheat days either. I like to call them treat days, but what I do, like come December when I meet a lot of those cookies, I'm still counting my calories. 

Derek Diem 40:45
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:45
And I'm looking at what else I was like, okay, I need to eat greens or more fruit. Which is, 

Wendy Beck 40:51
and that's new talks about. 

Rich Bennett 40:53
Right. 

Wendy Beck 40:53
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:54
And that's hard because there's not a lot of calories in that. 

Wendy Beck 40:58
Oh, 

Rich Bennett 40:59
frozen. Great. Oh my god. Well, 

Wendy Beck 41:00
I'm just saying 

Rich Bennett 41:01
this 

Wendy Beck 41:01
like 

Rich Bennett 41:01
creeps. 

Wendy Beck 41:01
You know, the density of 

Rich Bennett 41:03
yeah, 

Wendy Beck 41:04
versus. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:05
It's hard. And 

Derek Diem 41:06
it's like a job. 

Rich Bennett 41:08
It is 

Derek Diem 41:09
sometimes it 

Rich Bennett 41:09
is 

Derek Diem 41:10
overwhelming. And I think that's where probably a lot of people get jammed up because it does feel like so much. And it's like, look, man, let's start with just doing this, you know, like, 

Rich Bennett 41:22
yeah, lately, 

Derek Diem 41:24
because I know this pain that I was in, 

Rich Bennett 41:26
Like, 

Derek Diem 41:26
right? when I first got clean from drugs, somebody told me, if you don't remember your last day, using chances are at enter last day, using 

Rich Bennett 41:34
wow. 

Derek Diem 41:35
And it was how I felt that last day. Um, and so like, there's so many people that are overweight. They abuse food. They're stuck. I have a friend recently that was my height. He's 300 pounds and I'm on the phone with him the other night. And I can feel his pain. 

Rich Bennett 41:51
Wow. 

Derek Diem 41:51
From everything he can't sleep, he's got to sleep on the couch. He can't do this. He can't, it's showing up at work his performance. His boss is like, why don't you have the uniform on? He's like, don't fit anymore. Like, I got to wear things to fit. And I'm feeling his pain. And I'm like, that's something that I have. And I had it 

Rich Bennett 42:10
yeah, 

Derek Diem 42:10
with recovery being a service to people has always been a huge thing for me. Like, I love to help people. And I'm like, man, dude, I feel your pain. Like, let me just like show you what I'm doing. You know, but if people have to be willing, just save me with getting clean. And I know I can't rob anybody of their pain. 

Rich Bennett 42:28
yeah, 

Derek Diem 42:28
Yeah. Nobody could do that for me. And if it wasn't for my pain, I wouldn't be where I'm at today. 

Rich Bennett 42:34
Do you remember what you're going to ask him? 

Wendy Beck 42:36
No. 

Rich Bennett 42:37
Oh, I'm sorry. 

Wendy Beck 42:37
No. Well, yeah. Kind of like, okay. So what's next for Derek? 

Derek Diem 42:42
As far as the weight loss. 

Wendy Beck 42:43
Or just in life. 

Derek Diem 42:45
Um, so I would really like to pursue this Avenue one for business. I think it's a huge industry. I think it's still early enough to be able to tap into doing some, yeah, the coaching, you know, there's a lot of avenues to. Hey, let's make money, um, with it, you know, 

Rich Bennett 43:08
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 43:08
stack insults, insults, in, uh, social media, branding yourself, all that kind of stuff, which is always something I liked and been passionate about. 

Wendy Beck 43:18
Dream ex out. 

Derek Diem 43:19
Just like Dream 

Rich Bennett 43:20
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 43:20
ex out. Yeah. So my mom is always like, So to say this humble, even speaking and recovery, a lot of people, like recently I had two girls say you were the first person I've heard shared a meeting and I remember everything you said and it was eight years ago. Like 

Rich Bennett 43:36
wow. 

Derek Diem 43:37
I've always, my voice has been very impactful. Like it's a gift that God gave me. So I just feel like in any area of my life, you know, like we're talking to people and communicating well understanding people, um, that's a passion. So I'd like to finish this course and, you know, see where that takes me because that's where my passion is right now because I always wanted to be able to help the world not just in the addiction community, but in other 

Rich Bennett 44:08
areas. Yeah. 

Derek Diem 44:08
You know what I mean? Like, I've never, um, just because I see all the things I struggle with outside of drugs. To be able to help people with that, not feel like weight loss is such a huge thing that impacts people's lives so much, you know, and a lot of people are scared of the weight loss. A lot of people aren't educated. You know, so that's kind of like, I think that's where I'm at right now. 

Wendy Beck 44:36
Cool. 

Derek Diem 44:37
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 44:39
Do you have anything you'd like to add before we get to the last question that you're gonna make? 

Derek Diem 44:44
You know what I would just say man, like for anybody that's listening, if you are struggling reach out, you know, utilize 

Rich Bennett 44:51
these 

Derek Diem 44:52
people's talk to people, um, open about what you're struggling with because you will be shocked sometimes you might find your solution with somebody you never even thought would be able to help you, you 

Wendy Beck 45:04
be 

Derek Diem 45:04
know, so, um, and just be willing to do something different man. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 45:11
well, man, I can't wait till you come on again because it'll be the first time we've ever had a GOP coach. 

I think that could be it 

Derek Diem 45:21
be exciting. 

Rich Bennett 45:22
Yeah, I pick a pick a number between one and one hundred and you of course you have to tell me 

Derek Diem 45:28
twenty 

Rich Bennett 45:28
five twenty five 

Derek Diem 45:30
why twenty five, my birthday and my clean data is both twenty five. 

Rich Bennett 45:32
Oh, okay. It's actually this, this goes with what we've been talking about in a way. What do you believe is humanity's greatest strength? 

Derek Diem 45:45
Love. 

Rich Bennett 45:48
Man, that was a quick answer. He was quick with that, right? I think more people need it, more people need to know how to love and like we said earlier, love themselves as well. 

Derek Diem 46:02
Yeah, love other people loves the most powerful principle we have. And the love back to life was been my experience since I got clean. The 12 step program love me back to life, all the people on this weight loss journey of love me back to life. I feel like they've loved all the pounds off of me, all the love and support and everything. 

Rich Bennett 46:22
It sounds like to me and you need to start that back up, you said the love was love back to life with the number two in it, right? 

Derek Diem 46:30
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 46:31
you have 10,000 followers on Facebook. 

Derek Diem 46:34
Mm-hmm, like 9,700 somewhere around there. 

Rich Bennett 46:37
Yeah, you need to you. That I mean just 

Derek Diem 46:40
the struggle is I'm not really a social media person. Like I enjoy it, but like I'm not addicted to social media. That's a whole. 

Wendy Beck 46:51
Yeah, well, it's a business. And 

Derek Diem 46:52
It's a 

Wendy Beck 46:52
if you 

Derek Diem 46:53
business. 

Wendy Beck 46:53
look at it as a business, because I know I do like the social media for rage and, you know, you get into your group and it you know, you can schedule posts, you have to you know, it's, it's, 

Derek Diem 47:04
It's 

Wendy Beck 47:04
it's 

Derek Diem 47:04
a 

Wendy Beck 47:05
a whole 

Derek Diem 47:05
lot. 

Wendy Beck 47:05
thing, it is a lot. It's 

Derek Diem 47:06
I'm working with a girl that's doing it for me, so it's much easier. I literally just have to create the content, do the 

Rich Bennett 47:13
right. 

Derek Diem 47:14
videos and she does everything else. So, because I'm not, I'm a plumber my whole life. Technology is not my strong suit so I can get very discouraged, 

Rich Bennett 47:24
Yeah, 

Derek Diem 47:24
very fast. 

Wendy Beck 47:24
Technology is hard to keep up with. 

Derek Diem 47:27
I hate the updates on the phones. I'm like, do where's 

Rich Bennett 47:29
this 

Derek Diem 47:31
and now you switched it and I can't find this and, you know, I was having a fit about it last night, you know, so 

Wendy Beck 47:37
I got it. 

Rich Bennett 47:38
And social media keeps changing. 

Derek Diem 47:40
I feel like the younger generation, like literally if you're not rich, being a young person, like I don't know what you're doing. 

Rich Bennett 47:48
I tell you, well, even with the younger generation generation, the way social media's been changing a lot of them are even lost because, you know, they were always thought they were always looking at followers, any more followers, followers now. 

Derek Diem 48:04
You have to keep up with the algorithms and friends and all that. 

Rich Bennett 48:07
And now it's like more on engagement. 

Derek Diem 48:09
Right, right, 

Rich Bennett 48:10
yeah. 

Derek Diem 48:11
But you can watch YouTube and learn that stuff. Very easy, you know? It's like, it's my 

Rich Bennett 48:17
budget, yeah, but you have to keep up the date. 

Derek Diem 48:19
Look, look at plumbing. For 

Rich Bennett 48:21
Oh, how much? 

Derek Diem 48:22
however many years ago, it was cast iron, 

Rich Bennett 48:24
Yeah. 

Derek Diem 48:24
and then it was copper, and now it's C. P. B. C. And now we got pecs out. You have to keep up with your trade. Pecs. It's like this. You put it in, you squeeze this tool and there's no glue, it just clamps together pretty much, you know, you got. 

Rich Bennett 48:38
Oh, 

Derek Diem 48:39
you don't have to solder copper anymore. So you just basically, you got to keep up with your trade, you know, like 

Wendy Beck 48:45
growth in all, 

Derek Diem 48:46
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 48:46
yeah. 

Derek Diem 48:46
it's constantly evolving and changing. And if you're going to stay stuck, you're going to stay stuck. You got to grow with it. 

Rich Bennett 48:54
Listening to Derek's story, it really reminds me that recovery isn't about quitting something. It's about rebuilding everything. It's about learning how to sit with yourself, how to understand the why behind your habits, and how to keep showing up even when it's uncomfortable. Because whether it's addiction, food, relationships, or just life in general, we all have something we're working through. And what Derek shared today is that awareness, that willingness to be honest, that's where the real change started. I think one of the biggest takeaways, and probably for a lot of you listening, is that this isn't about perfection, it's about progress, it's about making different choices today than you did yesterday, and being okay with the process. And maybe most importantly, it's about connection. Because like Derek said, sometimes the solution comes from someone you never expected, but you've got to be willing to reach out to talk and to open up. So if you're listening right now, and something in this conversation hit home for you, don't ignore it. Start small, do something different, talk to someone, and remember, you're not alone in whatever you're going through. Derek, I really appreciate you coming on, being open, being real, and just sharing your journey with. I haven't feeling this isn't the last time we're talking, especially with everything you've got coming next, and to everyone listening, thank you for being part of the conversation, and until next time, take care of yourselves and other, and if this episode meant something to you, do me a favor, share it with someone who needs to hear, and I'd love to hear your thoughts too. Drop a comment, reach out, and let's keep this conversation going.