Helping Families Reclaim Heart, Mind, and Joy in a Screen-Filled World with S. S. Coulter

Wendy & Rich 0:01
Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios, Hartford County Living presents Conversations with Rich Bennett. 

Rich Bennett 0:27
Today's guest is someone who's on a mission to bring joy, imagination and real human connection back into our lives. Shading culture, also known as SS culture, is an author, coach, and the creator of the plan of Fossil Universe. A playful world designed to get kids off screens and back into creativity. She also hosts the Let There Be Joy Podcast, where she helps adults break free from tech overload and rediscover a life filled with purpose, presents and fun. She's passionate about inspiring families to reconnect and teaching all of us, young and old, to embrace a life with more play and a lot more joy. I tell you that she brings the joy, trust me, because in the green room, she had me laughing and we were just having a blast. I came in, I was sitting here, I'm like, "Man, I don't want to record this morning. This is going to be such a bummer." She comes on, she has computer problems, and I felt so good. 

S. S. Coulter 1:41
It started an ulterior motive behind everything I'm doing, is just to get everybody offline with me because I can't be on tech 

Rich Bennett 1:50
Hey, how you doing, Shannon? I was getting ready to call you Joy. 

S. S. Coulter 1:54
and energy. 

Rich Bennett 1:54
See, it just radiates off you. It radiates off you. 

S. S. Coulter 1:58
Oh, well, I am so happy to be here, like you said, we have the glad things since we, well, since we could hear each other. 

Rich Bennett 2:07
If all of the sudden we just lose everything, it's because Shannon touched her computer. 

S. S. Coulter 2:12
Yeah. 

Oh, God, I'm just saying, okay, we're going to make it through. 

Rich Bennett 2:19
The listeners are probably already they're like, "What in the world are they talking about?" I got to tell them. So, Shannon told me in the green room that once she came on the first time I could hear her, but she couldn't hear me. She had to restart her computer. And then I could hear her. The scary thing is she informed me that she has a tendency to, "I don't want to say break computers. I want to say blow them up." Because was it with your work where you went through 

S. S. Coulter 2:53
5 lab tops. My first, my first job. 

Rich Bennett 2:56
Yeah. It's 

S. S. Coulter 2:56
absolutely. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:57
5 laptops, they made her wear the grounding strap, which you're only supposed to wear when you work when you're taking the computers apart or the laptop apart. But she made her wear a grounding, wait a minute. If you were wearing a grounding strap, how did you still, how did you break 

S. S. Coulter 3:11
No, 

Rich Bennett 3:11
the other 

S. S. Coulter 3:12
they 

Rich Bennett 3:12
ones? 

S. S. Coulter 3:12
weren't. They were about to switch me to that because they got so sick of me. I can hear 

Rich Bennett 3:17
her. 

S. S. Coulter 3:19
Oh no. So, Joy is electrifying. That's the, that's the name of the episode. 

Rich Bennett 3:25
Okay. So, here's a scary question then. Because with your books, their children's books, the illustrations of everything. 

Do you write them on your computer? 

S. S. Coulter 3:38
No, yes, I do. But you know what, this is funny. I actually do a lot of handwriting. 

Rich Bennett 3:43
Oh. 

S. S. Coulter 3:44
I like to get my stuff out on paper. I don't know why there's something to the way my letters are and my hands move. It just, and I could switch colors of pens. And it just feels more real. 

Rich Bennett 3:57
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 3:57
Holding it. And so I still like to do that a lot. 

Rich Bennett 4:01
That's great. I think that's something that's missing from from generations. 

S. S. Coulter 4:05
Absolutely. I think one of the most important thing people can do for themselves is a journal. 

Rich Bennett 4:09
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 4:13
yeah. 

I- I- and actually the illustrations, and I'm going to brag on them in the books are beautiful. I had nothing to do with them other than yeah. I explained the characters in my books are the seven casting dogs. My husband and I have adopted them. 

And I've been loved throughout our lives. So we wrote biographies for them 

Rich Bennett 4:43
really? 

S. S. Coulter 4:43
and I- yeah, yeah, and I gave um, several illustrators pictures of the real them. And then they came up with cartoon characters and actually we had to turn. We had more cats than dogs. We had to turn two of our cats into dogs. And I felt mad about that. But, you know, dogs are like more approachable than cats. So these illustrations are just beautiful. And I can't draw a stick figure. 

Rich Bennett 5:07
Yeah, I'm the same way. 

S. S. Coulter 5:08
I don't know how I'm so creative in one side, but then the other I just don't have it. But, that's how why we need each other. Because we all have different things that we're good at. But, yeah, it was really a lot of fun to create the characters. 

Well, so I had a group of illustrators. 

Rich Bennett 5:28
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 5:29
Yeah, I had someone to be the main illustrator. And then he reached out and had different people work with me. 

Rich Bennett 5:34
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 5:34
So, yeah, so that's why they all look like they look like they're the same group. But, you know, with the way things are today, they're very good at being able to not copy, but make, make characters very similar. 

Rich Bennett 5:47
Yeah. Well, actually, because I was looking at the covers. I mean, they're simply amazing. And 

S. S. Coulter 5:54
I 

Rich Bennett 5:56
love the fact that you want to get kids and adults. 

even away from the video games, the TV 

S. S. Coulter 6:08
Yeah, I don't know what I don't want to say just 

Rich Bennett 6:08
and 

S. S. Coulter 6:08
author phones, 

Rich Bennett 6:08
all that. 

S. S. Coulter 6:09
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 6:10
Yeah. But I have, I have this question for you. And to me, because I've had a lot of children's authors on. 

S. S. Coulter 6:16
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 6:16
To me, what makes a children's book so good? Is that not just a child can learn from it, but an adult can learn from it as well. Are your books that way? 

S. S. Coulter 6:30
I hope so. I really 

Rich Bennett 6:31
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 6:32
hope so. So I use humor that I believe, you know, kind of has humor for the kids and humor for the 

Rich Bennett 6:37
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 6:38
adults. And then all of my books teach a life lesson. Like my first one is persistence pays off. And so I go through and I just teach that. And then I do two plot twists where the character goes off of the path of making good decisions. Because I want to teach kids choices and consequences. 

Rich Bennett 6:52
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 6:52
So I show them doing something that's quote unquote not a good, not a good decision. And then they don't get to the happy ending. So my like for the first book, it's persistence pays off. And then my two plot twists are, if it first you don't succeed, try, try again. And then mine over matter. And I'm writing for kids. But these are the things that we need is a bill. 

Rich Bennett 7:10
Absolutely. 

S. S. Coulter 7:11
And then what I do is I give five activities that kind of repeat what the characters are doing in the stories, but then the kids are off and they're using their bodies and talking and doing the stuff so they're learning applying what they learned in the real world, because that's a great way to learn. And then what I do for the adults is I give talking points. So you know, talk to your kids about this, this, and this. And that was for me. I can give you my values. I can tell you what my values are. And I think it's way more important for as a parent, a grandparent to be able to give kids your 

Rich Bennett 7:41
So 

S. S. Coulter 7:41
idea. 

Rich Bennett 7:41
right. 

S. S. Coulter 7:42
He's off. But you talk to your kids about it. You tell them your stories, because I wanted to get people talking again, because I find that the screens are taking that away, too. Face communication. So that that's where you know, I think the adults will have fun with it. Because then they're getting a prompt. It's not it's not when the kids come home. You're like, how was school fine? 

Rich Bennett 8:03
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 8:03
What'd you do? Nothing. 

Rich Bennett 8:05
Mm hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 8:05
So it's, it's, you did this activity. There's something we can talk about. And then the goal is that the parents and the kids will just keep talking about more stuff because I love when my parents told me stories. 

Rich Bennett 8:17
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 8:18
But competing with technology. My parents didn't have to compete with technology. You know, it's a horrible thing. And I think what makes my, my book's different. What I was really going for. So the planet Fasa. Fasa actually comes from Mufasa. 

Rich Bennett 8:32
I had a feeling, but it mean, but a different meaning. 

S. S. Coulter 8:36
Yes. And I didn't want to get sued by Disney. So, 

Rich Bennett 8:39
yeah. Yeah, nobody 

S. S. Coulter 8:40
Sorry, I've heard. So I made it FASA. And I spelled it F-A-S-S-A. And then I made it in acronym. So when you come to the planet FASA, you're coming to a planet full of fun activity story service awards. And so the books are just one part of the whole thing. Because, like it or not, we are driven by points. 

Rich Bennett 9:02
wants that. Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 9:02
Like, people are driven by points. I joke about this, but it's so true. I get excited about the points I earn for spending my own money on my credit card. 

Rich Bennett 9:10
I think everybody 

S. S. Coulter 9:11
Right? And that's like the silliest thing. And you're like 'yeah', or like, 'what 

Rich Bennett 9:16
does. 

S. S. Coulter 9:16
am I' 'dumbest things I've done?' I was just in a mood. It was really late. I was flying back from somewhere. And I was just kind of slap-happy. And I had to go to the ATM at the airport. And I put in my, you know, my card and my money comes out and I grab my money. I'm like 'I won! 

I won!' And people started coming around me like 'no, that's my buddy!' But anyway, you know, we're kind of points in this. I was just tired and big. 

Rich Bennett 9:50
I'm gonna have to try that now. 

S. S. Coulter 9:53
really funny. People like really react to, like 'no, my buddy!' Anyway, give it a try, everyone. So, I really, before I became really passionate about this, and I can tell you all why, but I was in consulting where I was breaking all my computers. 

Rich Bennett 10:10
It's 

S. S. Coulter 10:11
And the last kind of thing I did, I was a communications consultant toward the end of my career there before I left, I was doing wellness programs. 

Rich Bennett 10:19
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 10:19
And that was really awesome to me. The other stuff I was doing, the bread and butter of my consulting was telling people how to sign up for PPOs and HMOs. You know, that was like, you know, annual enrollment. 

Rich Bennett 10:29
Oh, 

S. S. Coulter 10:30
But I need to do, you know, in stock plans and all the stuff. I got to do some cool stuff. But when I got into the wellness stuff, that is what filled me with joy. Honestly, because I was helping people stop smoking, start walking more, do all this stuff. I even wrote campaigns for truck drivers 

Rich Bennett 10:46
ah, 

S. S. Coulter 10:46
about how they need to get their sleep better, you know, sleep deprivation and stuff like that. And it was having this awesome effect on people, but they were often called health incentive programs. So the employees could do stuff for points. 

Rich Bennett 10:58
right. 

S. S. Coulter 10:58
They'd earn points and then the company would set up stuff they could buy with points and it just worked beautifully. So when I back in 2008, so I'll get into the story of what changed my life forever, I'm a stepmom. So I have three beautiful step children who are now 28, 26 and 22. I met them they were four, eight and 10. And yeah. So I've been with them for, I mean, 

Rich Bennett 11:21
they're my kid. Wow! 

S. S. Coulter 11:22
No, they, I say they came, they came prepackaged. That's all. You know, good for me. 

Rich Bennett 11:27
That's my, that's what my brother, my older brother, all he's called, his stepkids, his rena kids. 

S. S. Coulter 11:33
Yeah, they're just like, Oh, this, they're awesome. I'm so blessed, right? So I meet them. I'm gonna age myself, but I don't really care. I know it is what it is, um, I like people to know how old I am because then they can like know why things are the way they are. I don't understand why they're like, Yeah, those regals are from, from years, years of whatever I do. So, um, I'm 31 at the time and I'm Jen AX. So I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna tell these kids to go outside and play. Like this is gonna be awesome, right? So I tell them to go outside and play. This is 2008. This is before the smartphone. They come in five minutes later and have no idea 

Rich Bennett 12:11
what to do. Wow. 

S. S. Coulter 12:13
You said, we, we don't know what to do. Mission in and I was. Floored and it really, really bothered me. And back then in 2008, like I said, that was before the smartphone. That's 

Rich Bennett 12:23
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 12:23
before we all have the pocket. I knew in my gut that something was gonna go with us. And I, and I know that I've were, you know, what, 18 years, 17, 18 years later. Now we know what was wrong, but I knew at that moment. And I, I talked to you before the Holy Spirit. I don't know what it was said. This is going to be a problem. For me, I think at the time, I just was sad for them. 

Rich Bennett 12:46
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 12:46
I really, it's hard to look back and remember exactly what I was thinking, but I was sad. I was a you're missing out on childhood. 

Rich Bennett 12:53
Yep. 

S. S. Coulter 12:54
You're missing out on the thing I love the most. I go out play on my swing set by myself for four hours. Now that's a little weird, but I'm weird, you know. 

Rich Bennett 13:00
No, no, you're right. It's amazing when we were kids, the stuff that we could do just to amuse ourselves. 

S. S. Coulter 13:06
Yeah, you, you know, and we talk about it. And so, and we say, we light so the lights came, came on and all this stuff, but that's true. And it's real. And so what I, when I took a step there, I was like, so what's happening here? Oh, it's because we're competing with screens, mom and and he has And so what I started to do is go out and Google and try to find activities for them to do I could come up with some but I'm 31 years old You know, I'm not having the same imagination I didn't 

Rich Bennett 13:31
right. Right. 

S. S. Coulter 13:31
plus I now know that I was being sucked in the screens, right? So I go out to Google I'm trying to find all this stuff and then I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. It's not organized and then also there was Pinterest at the time and have you ever? Her good this her the show nailed it To the show nailed 

Rich Bennett 13:47
a familiar 

S. S. Coulter 13:47
it. It's So people come on and they try to bake things that look like really well done 

Rich Bennett 13:54
Okay 

S. S. Coulter 13:54
things. But they are terrible at them, so it's like nailed it, but it's not anywhere close. It's hysterical. That's me with craft Okay, so I don't like I don't want to be going out on Pinterest to be like, oh look at this in mind like just awful 

So you know, so I'm feeling that kind of weird pressure of the perfect Pinterest post and the not organized and so I say to my husband I'm like, why don't we make a wellness program for kids, 

Rich Bennett 14:24
so 

S. S. Coulter 14:24
why don't we do that? And so we'll we'll put easy to do activities not these like you need all this stuff and you have to be perfect to do it Which is fine, you know, good for you if you can do that. I just couldn't. It's just not how I built and I don't want to have to go out and buy all this stuff now you can go on Amazon, but You know, but I just wanted to be like here's hot lava monster. You need three pillows. This is how you play it because at the time a lot of people Don't aren't thinking about that. You say I say it to you and you're like, oh, duh I say freeze tag to you dub You're not going to think about it as a as a parent So those are and there's more in depth ones in there, but those are the activities and then I put I tied them the mineheart and body points So if you have a kid that comes home Both your kids come home from school and they're not being nice to each other. You can pick heart focused activities and be like, hey kids do this 

Rich Bennett 15:14
Mm-hmm, 

S. S. Coulter 15:15
and we had it tied to you know How long they would take and anyway? So then we have those points the kids are in the points and then my mom and dad set up rewards for them to earn with them And it could be as simple as you could to stay at five minutes later But you know what knows what make your kid tick. So if they come home every day and you're like, okay. You need to earn two hundred faster points to stay at five minutes later And the idea was to get the kids Playing more because as they're playing more their neurons are 

Rich Bennett 15:39
for right 

S. S. Coulter 15:40
wiring You just screams as much so Continuing on with that what I wanted to do with it as I wrote these children's books because I wanted the kids to start getting interested in the activities because that's the kind of activities are in the in the website and I also had the seven character so when the kids go out to the website they can pick the character They want to be in all seven represent totally different kind of people So just trying to get them like reading and all this stuff. So Long story short. I did that back in like 2010 11 we didn't have a market for it. 

Rich Bennett 16:12
Why 

S. S. Coulter 16:12
is 

Rich Bennett 16:12
it 

S. S. Coulter 16:12
people really oh 

Rich Bennett 16:13
Because good 

S. S. Coulter 16:14
eating no 

Rich Bennett 16:15
Yeah, yeah 

S. S. Coulter 16:17
So we were way ahead of the curb we had you know, this was this was a Pokemon go You know, this was all that stuff But then we spent all this money on this website because we didn't have the type of stuff we have now And we came out with it. I also totally Honestly, I had a coach. I didn't listen to anything he said because that's brilliant, right? I wanted to come up with the entire planet bosses So anyway, I come out with it with my husband it flaps there's no market for it And then some stuff happened personally in our life that I had to put the I had to just put it down 

Rich Bennett 16:47
right and 

S. S. Coulter 16:48
I ended up Crazy story we lived in Chicago at the time. That's where I'm from but now my husband moved to Indiana 

Rich Bennett 16:54
Go Black Hawks. Sorry 

S. S. Coulter 16:56
No good good 

Rich Bennett 16:58
my daughter would 

S. S. Coulter 16:59
Your 

Rich Bennett 16:59
kill me 

S. S. Coulter 16:59
mom 

Rich Bennett 17:00
for saying that 

S. S. Coulter 17:01
You know what? You should always say that 

So my husband had to take a job. This is you know right when the economy had crashed So my husband had to take a job in Indiana, which we're here and now their mom moved to California So I ended up being a single 

Rich Bennett 17:16
wow 

S. S. Coulter 17:16
step mom with 

Rich Bennett 17:17
Yeah 

S. S. Coulter 17:17
Oh, totally weird. But the cool thing about it was I got to be a mom and Now I come back at you with my older kids going I saw them I saw what technology did to them. I did do planet faster with them and it saved them Had I known what I know now? I would have put them on screens less I didn't know so they were probably on still more than I would have let them be But I know this works because I did it with them But now I can come at you and I joke about this before I had empathy for what people We're going through now. I have sympathy because I'm as a parent You know, I'm like oh this is hard so About during 2020 when I saw we all saw how much these screens really messed up our kids I'm like and I couldn't stop dreaming about the FASA tales and planet FASA I'm like, okay, this is the time. This is when we're gonna go for it So I rewrote the books and I'm in the middle right now in November of 2025 We turn the website into a very easy to use app. So it's not- got all this stuff. It's- it hasn't come out yet. 

Rich Bennett 18:22
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 18:23
It's called the fun app. And it really is- I just did beta testing, got great feedback. Look, I'm listening to this time to feedback. Look at that. She grows, uhm, ehm, ehm, ehm. 

Rich Bennett 18:47
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 18:47
sorry. Uh, what- what the purpose of the app is going to be? It's in your hands. You've got this app. Your kids come home. You want them to do a half an hour, hour, whatever you want. On out off of these- these screens, you go on my app, you pick what you want, tell you what to do, walk you through it, and then you get to reward your kids with And all the long activities have a main activity, then I give them a challenge because they want the kids to see how they can turn something into something different, like, 

Rich Bennett 19:17
Right. 

S. S. Coulter 19:18
hey, we were playing this way, now I can play it that way. And then there's things to talk about. And that's the thing I was talking to you about about, here's questions you can ask your kids, and we give points for all the stuff the kids do. And I think we're going to add another point system for if your kid comes home and just plays by themselves. We're worth them for it. That's amazing. 

Rich Bennett 19:35
I love this. 

S. S. Coulter 19:37
Yeah, I, you know, and it's a matter of like I said, we put it out there. It's a little more complicated than I wanted it to make to be so we're going to scale it down a little bit. And my other favorite part about it, and this was really for me, we have the nuggets. But then we have four quick hits. The quick hits are for when like you're in the doctor's office standing in line with your kids. You know, grocery store that's called in line, the car that road trip. If you need time by yourself parent time or if you want to talk to those are quick little things you hit them and we go, here's something you can do right now. So you're not putting your kid on the iPhone in the car, you're not putting him on the iPhone in the grocery cart, do this with them. And the idea is they're wanting to do it, because there's points right, but they're also going to start wanting to do it because we are rewiring their brains back to have imagination. And that's what I learned that I didn't know. Back when I started this, I made up this thing called the imagination muscle and it occurred to me. If you're on screens all the time and you're not playing your imagination muscle, just like every other muscle, just like my shoulder right now it's been two weeks and it's like atrophied. Everyone I had shoulder surgery and Rich is having like complete sympathetic pain. Since it's what's going on with our shoulders, but things atrophy really quickly, extremely quickly. You had a guy on your show who was gosh, I think he was in a coma for nine months or 

Rich Bennett 20:58
yeah 

S. S. Coulter 20:58
something like that, I think even imagine how long that took him, I had my arm in a sling for a week. And it just lost the muscle. So imagine if your kids are on screens all the time their brain is wiring. You have to be patient for fast rewards stimulation. It's just bad. The part of the brain for patients eye contact is shrinking because I'm sure many people hear this neurons that wire together, fire together, fire together, excuse me, wire together 

Rich Bennett 21:26
right. 

S. S. Coulter 21:26
So if you're playing outside, if you're playing with your friends, if you're talking you're that part of your brain is wiring. And that's what you're going to want to do. If you're on screens, you're wired for switching apps, you know, switching things all the time. Like I said with me with my computer, you've got to be very careful about that. It's one thing for adults to have to deal with that. It's another thing when a brain is developing to have that. We are hurting our children. 

Rich Bennett 21:52
Oh, big time 

S. S. Coulter 21:54
big time. And I will say I don't blame any of us right now. I'm not blaming myself because I didn't know, but now we 

Rich Bennett 22:01
know. Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 22:02
And I call the smartphone the cigarette of the 2020s. Now we know stop putting your kids on it. 

Rich Bennett 22:10
Digital addiction is real. 

S. S. Coulter 22:13
It's extremely real. So one of the other things I do. So that's the planet faucet, the planet faucet right now, it's the books, it's the upcoming app. And eventually this is going to sound a little weird. I want to do a website. And this is why I want to do it. I want the kids to learn to be on technology, but I want when they're out there, it to be extremely helpful. 

Rich Bennett 22:33
Right. Right. 

S. S. Coulter 22:34
Right now when they see mom and dad on my app, they're seeing them get something off the app and put the phone down. That's how you should work with your. 

Rich Bennett 22:41
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 22:42
my dream is for the website is that they go out. They can pick one of the characters. Cassie is my scientist. They go out with Cassie. Cassie teaches them. We should they can be with Cassie inside a cell. And they can learn what a cell is. You know, or they can be with Rocky learn how to kick a soccer ball. And it's 10 minutes on there. And then they go out and kick a soccer ball in the real world because they need to learn technology. Who needs to be, you know, short, sweet, and it's the YouTube video that you're watching how to bake a pie versus you're watching. I don't even know what you're watching and then you're doomed. Hey, well, that's what I'm talking about. 

That's something I'm talking about. That's all I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. It's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

Rich Bennett 23:44
about. It's what I'm 

S. S. Coulter 23:48
And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

Rich Bennett 25:53
And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

S. S. Coulter 26:08
And it's what I'm 

talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. 

And it's what I'm talking about. And the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about talking about the other thing, 

Rich Bennett 28:01
the other thing, I'm 

S. S. Coulter 28:01
I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, 

Rich Bennett 28:07
I'm talking about the other thing, I'm talking about the other thing, 

S. S. Coulter 28:08
So, and then you were saying it's ruining people's life. So then I go back to my children thing, like, you guys. If this is doing it to our brains, imagine their little brains. And if that doesn't get you, they're not getting childhood. 

Rich Bennett 28:23
No, they're not. 

S. S. Coulter 28:24
Which was what, just bothered me so much in 2008, like you poor kids. 

Rich Bennett 28:31
I talked about this not too long ago. And the thing is, and you see this a lot. Kids can be standing around, I always say mainly teenagers. Can be standing around in a group, and they're not talking. They're sitting 

S. S. Coulter 28:45
No. 

Rich Bennett 28:45
there texting each other. 

S. S. Coulter 28:48
And so let me explain to you why that is. So right as I was writing this class in August, some, our youngest is 22, his name is Gavin, he just graduated from the Citadel. He's a National Guardsman, he's awesome. 

Rich Bennett 28:59
Oh wow. 

S. S. Coulter 29:00
I'm very proud of him. But he's sitting at home on a Saturday night. And here I am, like I've been working on these kids for how long and I'm going, why are you not going out? Like what, what is wrong with you? And he actually looked at me and this is a life-changing thing that he said, he goes, it's not my fault. It's not our fault. And I go, wow. And what he meant was, and so I really took that, I took that very personally. 

Rich Bennett 29:25
Mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 29:26
And I went and looked and it's because their brains were rewired the exact way I'm telling you, so they don't have the wiring to be comfortable 

Rich Bennett 29:35
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 29:35
with face-to-face interaction. It makes them extremely anxious to go to a grocery store. It makes them extremely anxious. And even my kids who are good at that stuff, they still are not drawn to it, like you and me, because that part of their brain is not as big as ours is. 

Rich Bennett 29:49
Well, how many kids even used the phone to actually call somebody? 

S. S. Coulter 29:53
No one. 

Rich Bennett 29:54
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 29:54
They don't know how to do that. 

Rich Bennett 29:56
I, I'll never forget, I can't remember if it was my niece or somebody. Well, and you see with the Apple phones all the time, people who have to have the newest one. And it's not, you know, in anything like the old days it's not so they can call somebody because it takes great photos. 

S. S. Coulter 30:15
Pictures, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 30:16
Or it's got this much memory, it's like buy it. Buy a camera. 

S. S. Coulter 30:23
I know. No. 

Rich Bennett 30:24
Really? Come 

S. S. Coulter 30:26
on. 

Another thing I can people do is list out all the things they use their phone for. And it's like 50 things. 

Rich Bennett 30:30
Oh yeah, it's nuts. 

S. S. Coulter 30:31
And it's an incredible tool, but you have to have dominion over it. You cannot let it rule you. And but we're letting it rule us because it's got all these psychological tricks in it. They hired people, they hired behavioral psychologists. 

Rich Bennett 30:47
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 30:47
From the, I really don't hear, I don't, from the persuasive technology lab at Stanford. That is who they hired to make these apps. So that you gotta think about that this is all on purpose. 

Rich Bennett 30:58
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 30:58
And it's a business model, they don't care if you're sitting at home all night. They do not care. But if you, I guess what I was saying like when Gavin said that to me, and I'm saying it to all of you, we are kind of, if we feel mad at these kids, like why are they standing in the circle? Why aren't they looking at each other? Because their brains aren't wired to do anything different. That is why we have step-in, we need to get them off of these things. And I know, I know it is a great babysitter. But it is a destructive babysitter. It is a abusive babysitter. And if you get your kids playing again and you build that imagination muscle, guess what, you're not going to need to do that because they're gonna start playing like we did. 

And that's going to be the switch here. That is my goal. 

Rich Bennett 31:44
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 31:44
I don't want you to need my app because I want them to come home and play on their own. 

Rich Bennett 31:49
You're listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

Let's take a little break here so I can tell you about my friends over at Four Seasons Landscape and Construction Services. And when it comes to lawn maintenance and lawn renovations, they are definitely the go-to people, even snow removal services. But something else that a lot of people don't think about, that's very important that they do, storm water maintenance. Whether it's a pine clean out, remove overgrowth of what are your ornamentals, debris, trash and even drainage services. If you have a cracked foundation, they could rerun your downspouts. French drains, proper grading. There's so much it goes into storm water to maintenance and the proper drainage of your yard. And a lot of people don't know how to do it. You don't want it to run into the bay. You don't want it to run towards your foundation. You need the professionals to take care of it. And the professionals are Four Seasons Landscape and Construction Services. Give them a call today. 443-390 yard. That's 443-390 yard, 9273. Or go to the website 4SusansLanscapeMD.com. Again, that's 4SusansLanscapeMD.com. They're giving you sustainable landscapes for the future. And they are the ones that get your yard looking beautiful. god. Even with myself home, like when I'm recording, do not disturb 

S. S. Coulter 33:25
Oh yeah, 

Rich Bennett 33:25
or 

S. S. Coulter 33:25
my 

Rich Bennett 33:26
it goes off. I do use it every day but I use it for the tools. Like I use there's an app called Noom. Which 

S. S. Coulter 33:35
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 33:35
has helped me lose 56, wait a minute, holy crap, 60 pounds. 

S. S. Coulter 33:40
See, that's amazing and that's a great way to use the 

Rich Bennett 33:43
Right. 

S. S. Coulter 33:43
tool. 

Rich Bennett 33:44
Yeah. There's another one I forget the name of it. It's so I can check out plants. If I'm outside in nature, which everybody should do. 

S. S. Coulter 33:53
Yes, it's very different. 

Rich Bennett 33:54
You know. 

S. S. Coulter 33:54
Those are great apps too. 

Rich Bennett 33:56
Yeah, there's 

S. S. Coulter 33:57
So that's why you don't want people, I just want people to think that I'm telling to get off their phone or not use their phone. I just want you to be in charge and I 

Rich Bennett 34:05
yes. 

S. S. Coulter 34:05
want you to get your time, your energy and your joy back. I mean, even having your phone sitting next to you while you're working takes part of your brain power because you're trying to use your willpower to stay off of it. I tell people, put your phone on. Do not disturb and if you're worried you're going to miss a call, you can put breakthrough calls. So you can you can say, yeah, the school can call me, my husband can call me, my wife can call me, my parents can call me, my kids can call me. So you'll hear the phone if those people call you, but put it put it on the couch behind you. So you have to actually get your butt off the chair and like consciously decide that you want to go check Facebook. Yeah, so 

Rich Bennett 34:41
I think that's another thing that has ruined people too is with the cell phones. If somebody sends you a message an email, anything that's on your cell phone, because they can tell if you're online or whatever, I guess. But if you don't respond away, they get 

S. S. Coulter 34:59
upset. Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 34:59
it's like. 

S. S. Coulter 35:00
and you know, if you know what? I said, I taught that in my class. I said, I made everybody say it's okay to be unreachable. It's okay to be unreachable. Like say that, say 

Rich Bennett 35:07
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 35:08
that. If something is upset with you for not getting back to them, then they're not. 

Rich Bennett 35:12
They don't understand life. 

S. S. Coulter 35:14
They don't understand life, and they're not, and they're not your friend. 

Rich Bennett 35:16
Right. 

S. S. Coulter 35:18
They're not your friend. If they're texting you and expecting an immediate response, that's on them. When I have a voice mail, I know somebody needs me. I mean, for real. If you're expecting, so I think that that's just a culture. All this is a 

Rich Bennett 35:30
cultural and that's another thing. How many times do people call you and they don't leave you a voice mail, but then they get upset because you didn't call them right back. 

S. S. Coulter 35:41
I'm like, you know what? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. The people being upset you. We need to betray ourselves. That's okay because it is exhausting to be constantly unreachable. It's exhausting. I'm sure everybody here, I'll give everybody here a challenge. Put your phone down, and I call them an aw-walk. I did not develop that. I can't remember who came up with that, but I just love it. Go for an aw-walk and aw-drive. What I mean is leave your cell phone at your house and go somewhere that you usually go and look around you. You will be amazed at what you've been missing because you've been 

Rich Bennett 36:14
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 36:15
even missing people of podcasts, which is fine, but just be silent, drive somewhere, and even, and go out. This is another thing. Try to put your phone down and go out for a few hours. If you're freaking out, I tell people, just write down two numbers that if you something happens and you need to get in touch with somebody, write down two numbers that you can call and you will be able to call them because everybody else has to phone. So you can just put your phone in and if you're worried that your kid's school is not going to be able to get in touch with you, your kid's school should have yours, your spouses, 

Rich Bennett 36:46
Exactly! 

S. S. Coulter 36:46
your- Oh, and if you're also like, well, but what if something bad happens? Listen, something bad can happen when you're on a plane or in the shower. 

Rich Bennett 36:56
So 

S. S. Coulter 36:57
we've got to be rational about this. 

Rich Bennett 37:03
Absolutely! And I think the other thing too, in other words, I love these books, is because you're teaching activities and everything, but even going outside, because one of the things that kids and teenagers, even some young adults do not do, they're not going outside. They're not getting the vitamins they need. They're not enjoying nature, and I think if they do that, it's going to bring down your mental illnesses down a lot. 

S. S. Coulter 37:34
Oh, 100%. So it's a couple of things. So Gen Z, 

Rich Bennett 37:40
it's 

S. S. Coulter 37:41
the first generation who went through puberty on this cell phone. So just imagine- 

Rich Bennett 37:44
Oh my God, I never even thought about that. 

S. S. Coulter 37:47
Oh yeah! So they not only had to be, you know, have their personal brand, Fine in school, they had to have an online brand. Can you imagine? 

Rich Bennett 37:56
Shh, 

S. S. Coulter 37:56
But it's horrible. So, the anxiety rate in that group of people, that poor group of people, which was my kids, is 

Rich Bennett 38:03
mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 38:03
145% increase in girls, and 161% increase in boys. Like, that is just not okay. And that's because of their brain is constantly that rewiring. It's constantly like, ready for something bad to happen because their prefrontal cortex has got completely screwed up because they were constantly having stimulation. So they're, they're at a hairline trigger for anxiety. So that's why their anxiety is so high. So that's that part, but then you have the other part that you just said is they're not going outside. 

Rich Bennett 38:31
No. 

S. S. Coulter 38:32
And so, I'm not even addressing the vitamin D and the blue light that you said, that is a whole other issue. 

Rich Bennett 38:39
Oh, yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 38:40
And then, you know, when I started this, I think a lot of people thought I was, you know, fluff because I'm like, "Kid need to play again." Well, successful human development comes from interacting with other people. You got to interact with other people. And when you play, I'm going to read you 12 benefits of play. So there's brain development, there's creativity, and then the third is social skills. So let me read you all the social skills you get when you're out playing tag with 

Rich Bennett 39:02
Mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 39:02
your friends. So collaborating with others, playing with others that have a common goal, negotiating, learning to follow rules, thinking of and seeing their perspectives. Now, think about how much we need that in the world right now, solving conflicts fairly and independently, asserting yourself, following another's lead, showing sympathy and empathy and communicating effectively. That's the social skills. 

Rich Bennett 39:24
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 39:25
Uh-huh. And then, I'm reading these because I don't want to forget when you've got planning skills, so carrying out tasks logically within a given time 

Rich Bennett 39:32
Mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 39:33
frame. So you learn, you know, you learn how we're going to do this and the amount of time we have motor development problem solving, language development, independence, visual, auditorial, and spatial perception, which is crazy. But then, one of my favorites is healthy expression. You safely learn how to act out your emotions and cope with them. So you're outside, you lose tag, you have a fit. 

Rich Bennett 39:53
Mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 39:53
You're in a safe place to have a fit. 

Rich Bennett 39:56
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 39:56
You know what, that wasn't not the best way to act. Or you win and you have, you know, your bragging. That's not good either. You learn that. And so you've got all these kids now who are like getting their, your monthly or yearly reviews at work, and they're like, ah, you know, because they can't handle, you can't handle that good. 

Rich Bennett 40:17
Uh-huh. 

S. S. Coulter 40:18
My Dad can't read us. And so, that is why is so important. 

Rich Bennett 40:24
There. 

S. S. Coulter 40:24
But on the flip side of that, when they're doing that, that part of their brain is growing. And so whether they're in a group of teenagers together, they don't need their phone, they can look at each other and talk. 

Rich Bennett 40:34
Yep. 

S. S. Coulter 40:35
So it's just a huge deal. And on top of it, I like to say to people, I've never done this and had anybody not react like this. So if everybody who's listening closes their eyes and thinks of their favorite childhood ring, just give them a few seconds to think about it. I guarantee nobody, no matter what age you are, even if it's a child, the sticking of themselves on a screen. 

Rich Bennett 40:58
Now, matter of fact, as when you were just talking about tagging everything, I was having flashbacks of when we were kids, we would play what's called freedom. So it's like high in a secret tag, but you have team, 

S. S. Coulter 41:09
I'm writing this down. I'm writing this down as a nugget. 

Rich Bennett 41:12
So you have teams. It's like high and seeking. We would play in the court. And the funny thing is, the people I grew up with whenever we get together, that always comes up 

S. S. Coulter 41:21
right 

Rich Bennett 41:22
yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 41:22
because it was so. So 

Rich Bennett 41:23
So you know, the whole idea was you, whoever catches everybody on the team wins, but they're putting like a box, which is usually at the end of the driveway. And if somebody comes from if I got my team is in that box, I come running, I run through that box the deal freedom were all free. And we, oh my God, we had it, but we would be out there for hours. 

S. S. Coulter 41:47
Exactly. And then you change the rules. 

Rich Bennett 41:49
Yes. 

S. S. Coulter 41:49
And one of my favorite things about problem solving is negotiating. Let's say you've got, you know, five people on each team. Let's say another kid comes. So now you have six and five. You guys are not, your problem just turned 

Rich Bennett 42:01
it. 

S. S. Coulter 42:01
into 

Rich Bennett 42:01
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 42:02
Just really good. Did you not gonna stop playing? Because you got an extra kid, you're just going to negotiate and come up with different rules. 

Rich Bennett 42:07
Mm 

S. S. Coulter 42:07
That 

Rich Bennett 42:07
hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 42:07
is a really huge skill. 

Rich Bennett 42:10
And you're 

S. S. Coulter 42:11
in 

Rich Bennett 42:12
one major rule. You're not allowed to hide inside a house. You had to stay outside. 

S. S. Coulter 42:17
Yeah, I say, but this is and you had so much fun. You're sweating. 

Rich Bennett 42:20
Oh God. 

S. S. Coulter 42:21
You physical, you know, physical fitness, all this stuff. And so I just think it's and then. So I, besides that thing, I just did like think of your favorite. Remember the other thing I like to say to people, a lot of people who are listening are parents or aunts and uncles. You would do anything for your kids. Your nieces and 

Rich Bennett 42:39
Mm 

S. S. Coulter 42:39
nephews, 

Rich Bennett 42:39
hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 42:39
right? You would do anything for them. We have got to give them the opportunity to have those memories. 

Rich Bennett 42:45
Yes. 

S. S. Coulter 42:46
It is our It's on us. It really is. I'm driven by it because I just can't imagine not having those memories. 

Rich Bennett 42:57
One of the things I've been telling my nieces and nephews to get metal detectors for their kids and I want to take them down on the farm and teach a metal detector. Get them outside because if kids find something to them it's treasure. 

S. S. Coulter 43:17
Right. 

Rich Bennett 43:17
That's something they'll fall in love with and they want to do it all the time. 

S. S. Coulter 43:21
I wanted to... So my 27-year-old got a metal detector up in Wisconsin and we found... our treasures were a bunch of... This is a 27-year-old. We found a bunch of nails that had fallen off the dock. Okay, we just find the... Then we found an old spoon and so we created a tree, a really ugly tree with all that stuff when we left it up there for my 

Rich Bennett 43:41
Just 

S. S. Coulter 43:41
older brother. 

Rich Bennett 43:41
I miss cool. I like 

S. S. Coulter 43:43
that. 

Rich Bennett 43:44
Oh, here's 

S. S. Coulter 43:45
the thing. I mean this is a 27-year-old right at the time. I know she's 28 but we were laughing so, really, because we were just being silly. But that's life. Life should have... you should have fun. 

Rich Bennett 43:56
But think about it. You were you were finding nails that came out of the dock right? When was that dock built? 

S. S. Coulter 44:03
A long time ago. 

Rich Bennett 44:04
So those nails have history. 

S. S. Coulter 44:06
Those were treasures. 

Rich Bennett 44:07
Yeah. And that's the thing you could create the stories of the kids is like, who drew that nail into the dock? 

S. S. Coulter 44:14
Yes, and then they come up and they start using their imagination. 

Rich Bennett 44:17
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 44:18
And I think... and we'll go back to the app. I do believe it's going to be hard to get the kids wanting to start doing that. That's why you've got the points and rewards. Because you want that cookie for dessert? All right, go outside and do this Fatha activity for 20 minutes and you'll get your 200 points or whatever. 

Rich Bennett 44:34
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 44:35
But the beauty about children is if you get them playing, they'll keep playing. They're just like us. They are us. Like they have the same makeup that we have. 

Rich Bennett 44:47
Yep. 

S. S. Coulter 44:47
I think a lot of us are looking at the Gen Zers and the younger ones and going, "Oh, they're different than us." No, they've just been bond-boreded by 

Rich Bennett 44:53
technology. Yeah, exactly. 

S. S. Coulter 44:54
Technology 

Rich Bennett 44:56
raised them 

S. S. Coulter 44:57
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 44:57
for less. 

S. S. Coulter 44:58
Yeah. Yeah. And again, I'm not shaming anybody. We didn't know, but now we know. So now you've got it. We've got to do better. 

Rich Bennett 45:03
Well, 

S. S. Coulter 45:03
We 

Rich Bennett 45:03
you... 

S. S. Coulter 45:03
have got... 

Rich Bennett 45:04
and you even see it in some... Well, I was gonna say you even see it in some daycares where they'll put the kids in front of a TV or whatever. But think about school, public school. What can they do now? They can take their phones and they can even be on their phones during class. 

S. S. Coulter 45:20
Yeah. I like those schools and are now saying that the kids cannot have the phones and they're making them put them away before they even get to school 

Rich Bennett 45:27
Which is 

S. S. Coulter 45:27
because... 

Rich Bennett 45:27
the way it should be. 

S. S. Coulter 45:28
Well, when is the best time that you had in school? It was when you were at the lockers and passing parents and before and after class. That is when you saw your buddies. That's when you did all your fun stuff. That's when you shared stories. That, that was the fun. 

Rich Bennett 45:44
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 45:45
Or cafeteria. These kids don't have to do any of that. They are like literally missing out on the joy of childhood. 

Rich Bennett 45:52
And they're not being taught to learn. I remember when I was in school, Casio brought out the watch with the calculator on it. 

S. S. Coulter 46:02
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 46:03
It was banned from school. We could not have that in school because they wanted you to learn how to do math the proper 

S. S. Coulter 46:09
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 46:09
way. Well, I'm sorry if you're allowing these kids to 

S. S. Coulter 46:13
Yeah. There's 

Rich Bennett 46:13
use 

S. S. Coulter 46:13
no. 

Rich Bennett 46:13
their... Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 46:15
And I understand people like, well, they don't need to. They don't need to use it because they can always use a calculator. But it's good for your brain. It's good for your brain. 

Rich Bennett 46:22
But they cannot always use a calculator. 

S. S. Coulter 46:25
Well, you're going to be at the store. You're going to be somewhere. But I, I'm hearing that's the argument. 

Rich Bennett 46:29
Oh, yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 46:29
But even so, you need to understand these concepts. You need to be able to tip somebody. 

Rich Bennett 46:34
that. 

S. S. Coulter 46:34
We're not tipping. 

Rich Bennett 46:35
Oh, 

S. S. Coulter 46:35
Just 

Rich Bennett 46:37
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, don't even get me started on that one. 

S. S. Coulter 46:40
Well, I'm going to expect you to, I'm going to expect you to tip me after this, by the way. 

Rich Bennett 46:44
I mean, really cool. I said, because I told my daughter, I said, you know, if you go out, make sure you leave a tip. Well, how much? I said, 20, 25 percent, whatever. 

S. S. Coulter 46:56
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 46:56
I don't know. I figured that out. It's like, oh, wow. But I had, I went to, it was a store restaurant not too long ago. And 

I forget what the total was. I think she could not camp out the change. It was, oh, I think the, no, it was a craft show. So they didn't have a register there. They were doing all cash as you couldn't camp out the change. That's like, 

S. S. Coulter 47:25
oh, that's, that's not okay. 

Rich Bennett 47:27
No. 

S. S. Coulter 47:28
That's not okay. 

Rich Bennett 47:29
No, 

S. S. Coulter 47:29
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 47:30
it's, it's scary. All right. I need to ask you about the podcast because you haven't started that yet, right? 

S. S. Coulter 47:36
It has not been started. So the podcast will be called Let There Be Joy, Because that's what we 

Rich Bennett 47:41
to do. Right, 

S. S. Coulter 47:41
want 

Rich Bennett 47:41
I love that. 

S. S. Coulter 47:42
so what I am going to do is, I am going to have experts on there and I have met some wonderful people as I have been not podcasting and spreading this message. And what it is going to be is, I am going to have those people come on and give you three actual steps that you can put into, uh, into your life that day, that week to start bringing joy back into your life. You know, like I just said, you know, there's the Swiss army phone, that there's, you know, putting friction between yourself and that there's not picking up your phone for 10 minutes in morning. Those are three actual things you can put into action. I'm saying action, but that day you can implement them into your life that day to bring joy. I want us to be very simple, fun, and I want to bring on people, uh, who have these offerings because one of the things that happens with me is I get people through my coaching class. And they now have time 

Rich Bennett 48:33
right, 

S. S. Coulter 48:33
because my idea to free up their time, well, they might be like, well, I, now I, I want some parenting advice or I want to write a book or I want to garden. Well, I'm not, I don't have those resources for you. So I'm going to show you. Here's some people I've met who you could reach out to and get, get this help 

Rich Bennett 48:49
smart. 

S. S. Coulter 48:51
That's my, that's my goal with it. 

Rich Bennett 48:53
I love that. I so I'm going to ask you a question because I think everybody, well, everybody doesn't, but everybody should have a morning routine to help you get along through today. What's your morning routine? 

S. S. Coulter 49:08
Well, I'm going to tell you what I teach. 

Rich Bennett 49:10
OK. 

S. S. Coulter 49:11
I want people to take this into account. Mine's a little different. I teach this thing that I do three plus three. I want you to wake up in the morning, not look at your phone, and I want you to write three things you're grateful for and three things you're planning to accomplish that day. You're setting your brain and your heart for gratitude and then you're setting an intention. And if you don't pick up your phone, you're not letting social media or email, dictate your day. 

Rich Bennett 49:39
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 49:40
Well, that's something I like to teach people to get yourself in gratitude and get yourself into intention and the attention can just be I'm going to take a shower today. It doesn't matter what it is. I'm going to have a great time with rich today. I'm going to call my mom today. That's it, and you get those three simple things done. For me, I get up. I like to do that. And then I like to pray and worship because it just gives me a good state of mind. 

Rich Bennett 50:02
OK. 

S. S. Coulter 50:02
So I like to stay away from my phone for a really long time. I do use my phone though to turn on the worship music, but I have got to train myself. Hit that, put the stupid thing down. 

Rich Bennett 50:12
Right. 

S. S. Coulter 50:13
You know, and if I find myself slipping, which I do because I'm a human, I just won't bring it with me. I can't. But I keep it on do not disturb. But that I think the morning you've got to stay off your phone because if you get on it, it is going to dictate your day. 

Rich Bennett 50:25
Absolutely. 

S. S. Coulter 50:26
The worst thing that can happen that used to happen to me is I pick it up and I look and I'd see an email and it would just put me into a downward spiral. For the rest of the day, 

Rich Bennett 50:34
you got to start off the day positive. 

S. S. Coulter 50:36
Yeah, you have to start positive. It sets the rest of the day it gets you if you started to stress the rest of the day stress. 

Rich Bennett 50:42
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 50:42
If you started in gratitude, the things that come up are much less stressful because you're like, whatever, and you set those three intentions and they don't have to be hard. Set easy ones. So you accomplish them, and you feel good about yourself. 

Rich Bennett 50:56
I grew with you 110 percent there and the thing is a lot of people would say those easy ones are hard. Well, they're only hard if you think they're hard. 

S. S. Coulter 51:06
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 51:07
Yeah, I mean, I 

S. S. Coulter 51:08
Like 

Rich Bennett 51:08
have good. 

S. S. Coulter 51:09
my intention you, I told you about my my night last night. 

Rich Bennett 51:13
Uh huh. 

S. S. Coulter 51:14
And all this stuff. And I was like, no, I'm going to have a good time with him. 

Rich Bennett 51:17
Sleep either. 

So those of you listening, uh Shannon did not get any sleep last night. 

S. S. Coulter 51:27
I 

Rich Bennett 51:29
was going to be ready to call you joy again. 

S. S. Coulter 51:31
Yes. 

I told them like he's going to be talking to me obviously I'm just going to slump out of the chair. I land on my shoulder and you really 

Rich Bennett 51:39
pain or 

S. S. Coulter 51:39
be a 

Rich Bennett 51:40
today your morning routine is similar to mine. I can wake up and like even with the shoulder, if I wake up and I'm in pain before anything, I told you about our daughter and she was still born. But I was able to my mother went and got a angel that was on a music box at the gift shop and we're in the hospital. So I was able to put that in her hand. I still have that. So what I do every morning when I wake up, I grab my angel before I even get out of bed and I'll say a prayer. And then I have a rock that my oldest daughter who's now 24 got me when she was a kid and it looks like a heart. I call it my grateful rock. And I always say something. I'm grateful for the other thing that I do is I'll either forgive somebody or forgive something. Then I'll get up. I'll make the coffee there start my day. 

S. S. Coulter 52:38
That is beautiful and it's it's not hard. 

Rich Bennett 52:42
No. 

S. S. Coulter 52:43
And then you just wake up and you feel so good. 

Rich Bennett 52:46
My wife hates it. 

S. S. Coulter 52:50
She hates, 

Rich Bennett 52:50
She's like, 

S. S. Coulter 52:50
why? 

Rich Bennett 52:51
why are you so happy? 

S. S. Coulter 52:53
Oh, right. Well, I mean, if, if anybody's listening to say this hard, I challenge you to do it two days in a row this week. 

Rich Bennett 53:00
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 53:00
Whenever you listen to this episode, do it for two days in a row and see how different you feel. then slip back and looking at your phone first thing and compare the two. 

Rich Bennett 53:09
Oh, 

S. S. Coulter 53:10
You 

Rich Bennett 53:10
yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 53:10
will see a huge difference. 

Rich Bennett 53:12
Oh big time, big time. I, I, I mean, we talked about the, the faucetales, explain the joke books. 

S. S. Coulter 53:23
Oh, my joke books. 

Rich Bennett 53:25
Yes. 

S. S. Coulter 53:25
Hey, so I have God's Dad jokes and God's Dad jokes. Colouring book was actually published today. I'm very, 

Rich Bennett 53:32
oh, wow. 

S. S. Coulter 53:33
Yeah, just today, it just went live on Amazon. So I was, I don't even know. I was praying one day. For some reason, my faucetales books kept showing up with God's Dad jokes, books on Amazon. I was like, why? Not God's dad jokes. 

Rich Bennett 53:48
Mm-hmm. 

S. S. Coulter 53:48
So what I would put him up for advertising like people who are buying this or buying Dad jokes and like, how? There's 

Rich Bennett 53:54
So 

S. S. Coulter 53:54
no sense. I'm in, I'm in, I have a prayer closet. And now that people have heard me and, and you have seen me, I have to shut myself away. There's just no hope for anybody like I have to put myself in a dark real one, just be like, concentrate. So I'm in there and I'm praying. And all of a sudden, God starts, like, and it's going to sound weird. He starts dropping jokes on me. Biblical jokes. And I was like, what is this? And I said, well, the father wants to get on the dad jokes, apparently. So I would go into my closet. So step back, I have three jokes. I cut my first joke that I think I came up with. It was kind of like, quote, unquote naughty. And I was like, okay, but there's every, people are listening here and they know the Bible. There is a talking donkey in the Bible, which is hilarious. And so my joke was, and he talks to a, a profit named, Bailem. So my first joke was, and I like I said, it was like, I don't know where, what did the donkey say to Bailem? And it's, don't be such a me. 

a, it's funny. I was like, oh my gosh. Like, 

Rich Bennett 55:02
Not 

S. S. Coulter 55:03
you know, right? I was like, I have my cross the line. But 

Rich Bennett 55:06
I 

S. S. Coulter 55:08
come out and I've got like, you know, why did the kid the chicken crossed the road because the most is when they're the part the red sea, like, you know, just silly, silly dad jokes. 

Rich Bennett 55:19
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 55:19
So I got three. And I call them at one of my illustrators and I'm like, hey, I want to do this. And I want to put, I want to put illustrations with it, because that would be really different. How many jokes do you have? I have three. You have three, like, yeah. I'm like, but I'm going to, I'm going to figure out how to do this. So let's just do it. So she, she agrees to do it with me. And this is stepping out in faith. And I'm telling people, if you have something, step out in faith, and God will meet you every time I went into my closet from that point forward, as I was walking around anytime I was reading the Bible, he kept dropping jokes, dropping jokes, dropping jokes. I wrote over a hundred jokes in two weeks. 

Rich Bennett 55:50
Wow. 

S. S. Coulter 55:52
Yeah, it was incredible. 

Rich Bennett 55:54
So when, so you got more books coming then, 

S. S. Coulter 55:57
No, this is, this has a hundred jokes in 

Rich Bennett 55:59
oh, 

S. S. Coulter 55:59
it. I 

Rich Bennett 55:59
wow. 

S. S. Coulter 56:00
put them all in here. Yeah. And like, um, 30 of them have the illustration. And then we've got like angels and stuff throughout it. Because I did the illustrations, I turned it into a coloring book for, 

Rich Bennett 56:09
okay, 

S. S. Coulter 56:10
just those 30 jokes. Um, and then on the opposite side, I put the kid friendly scripture. So something that was really cool is like even with that Baileum joke, I put the scripture reference to every single joke I put in there because I thought that could be cool for people to do Bible studies or even like a pastor to stand up and be like, this is actually biblical. And here's a fun way to get you to know the Bible. So with the kids, I did the joke and then I put the kid friendly scripture reference by it. And then I also put a fun question to ask them like, you know, John the Baptist, would you rather wear, um, eat locusts and wear camels for or eat honey and wear a leather belt? You know, I don't know it's a toss up. So just, you know, ask them, but you'd never, you never know, you'd learn about your kid. And then I put three of my faucet activities in there, but biblically. So I made one up that was like, Oh, if you were going to live inside the whales, stomach like Jonah, but you knew you were going to be safe. What cool things would you do in his tummy? You know, so I just kind of combine the two. So that's the joke book and then the coloring book. And so 

Rich Bennett 57:15
I have to admit, Sikita, those taste pretty good when it's sauteed. 

S. S. Coulter 57:21
So that would be, 

Rich Bennett 57:22
I'm just saying. 

S. S. Coulter 57:23
Just 

Rich Bennett 57:24
saying, 

S. S. Coulter 57:25
it. 

Rich Bennett 57:25
you know, you got 

S. S. Coulter 57:27
Yeah. So that's those books, it was completely random, but I had to honor him because I mean, who gets 100 jokes? 

Rich Bennett 57:34
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 57:35
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 57:35
So I, you love the cook, don't you? 

S. S. Coulter 57:39
No, 

Rich Bennett 57:39
You don't? Okay, I want to never mind 

S. S. Coulter 57:40
I am. 

Rich Bennett 57:41
that 

S. S. Coulter 57:41
ha! 

Rich Bennett 57:41
next step. I do. 

S. S. Coulter 57:42
I'm like, 

Rich Bennett 57:42
Ha 

S. S. Coulter 57:43
no, I like baking. I like baking, but I, I know, cooking is just weird. Baked cooking is, you have to know, like different things. Baking is like, this is exactly what you need to do, so I'm much better at baking. And I think this is super weird, but I think the reason I like baking is because I'm so creative in my day-to-day job, quote-unquote career, whatever. 

Rich Bennett 58:04
Right. 

S. S. Coulter 58:05
When I get to bake, it's, they tell me exactly what to do and I do it, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 58:10
So, 

S. S. Coulter 58:10
where I find 

Rich Bennett 58:11
that. I'm seeing a, like a recipe book along the same lines of the fossa tails and everything to teach kids. What better thing for parents and kids to do together? 

S. S. Coulter 58:25
That's really a good idea. Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 58:28
Especially since you don't quote. 

S. S. Coulter 58:31
I know, I know, husband is an amazing cook. 

Rich Bennett 58:33
There you go. 

S. S. Coulter 58:34
I got. 

Rich Bennett 58:34
So you can get recipes from him. 

S. S. Coulter 58:37
Yeah. And thank God. Because I don't know what I'd be eating like goldfish every 

Rich Bennett 58:40
well, 

S. S. Coulter 58:40
night. So, 

Rich Bennett 58:41
the funny thing is one of the things I love doing, although my daughter doesn't like doing it anymore, and my one niece when she comes over, although she's 11 and a half now, she does it. I love grilling. And they would love to, my, especially my one niece, she would love to me grill. 

S. S. Coulter 58:58
help 

Rich Bennett 58:58
Yes. 

S. S. Coulter 58:59
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 59:00
I just made sure that I didn't tell her start the fire because you know, don't. 

S. S. Coulter 59:04
Yeah, we can 

Rich Bennett 59:05
Yeah, no, 

S. S. Coulter 59:05
wait on. 

Rich Bennett 59:06
wait a while. But the thing is, and we were talking before we started. Yes. I do say it professionally. One of the things that it bugs me in a way, one of the things that a lot of kids ask for is the both of them. But that one thing that does make me happy, are the other things that they ask for, whether it's, you know, some type of toy, a bicycle. Oh, my God. I do get kids ask for bikes a lot, which is great, because that means they're outdoors. out 

S. S. Coulter 59:40
They want to 

Rich Bennett 59:40
there, 

S. S. Coulter 59:40
go 

Rich Bennett 59:41
exercise, and they're 

S. S. Coulter 59:42
I 

Rich Bennett 59:42
doing. 

S. S. Coulter 59:42
love to hear that. You know, the reason they want a phone is because all their 

Rich Bennett 59:45
found 

S. S. Coulter 59:45
friends have 

Rich Bennett 59:45
it. 

S. S. Coulter 59:45
That's 

Rich Bennett 59:46
Exactly. 

S. S. Coulter 59:46
all it. And I, you know, this is going to be shocking. I do not think kids should have smartphones until they're 18 years old. I just do not. I think you should be an adult. Or you have that. Like, you have to be an adult before you drink or have cigarette, because then you can make the choice of what you want to do to yourself. If people are like, well, I want to get in touch with, like, get them a flip phone. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:04
Yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:04
They don't need the internet in their pocket. They absolutely don't. And they don't want it. Kids want to play. We have to remember they want to play. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:11
Mm hmm. What's that, when they asked me for a final, my first question is, oh, really? Who is it that you want to call? 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:18
I love 

Rich Bennett 1:00:19
them. They're like, well, I don't want to call anybody. I want to play my, I said, well, I, I'll talk to mommy and daddy and see what they say. 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:27
Yeah. That's 

Rich Bennett 1:00:28
not going to tell them, no, I can't 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:30
right. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:31
say. 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:31
I'm 

Rich Bennett 1:00:31
Janice should never say no 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:33
have. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:33
that you can't 

S. S. Coulter 1:00:33
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:34
Yeah. But yeah, it's, oh, and then some of the other ones that kids ask for will just bring me to tears, you know, oh, yeah, I had, I'll tell you this story then I'm going to get to my last question. So I think it was last year. I had a little boy and his two sisters, two younger sisters, and they're sitting my laptop and I'm asking each one what they want. And the little boy said, I just want my mommy to be happy, because every, yeah, I said, you want mommy to be happy. Well, yeah, her daddy aren't together anymore. And I want her to be, be happy. 

S. S. Coulter 1:01:11
It's, 

Rich Bennett 1:01:13
it's hard when you hear that stuff. And tonight cry. And there, oh, god, some, I can't tell you how many times the stories I've heard when I'm done. I go to, I don't know, I don't go to get in my car, I go to get in my sleigh and it's like, I just lose 

S. S. Coulter 1:01:33
it. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:34
Or I'll tell the story 

S. S. Coulter 1:01:36
and it's like, 

Rich Bennett 1:01:38
anyway, something you never told anybody, what's the website? 

S. S. Coulter 1:01:43
yes, that'd be, that'd be great. It's s s colter.com. So s s like I'm a ship or a solar system with that's either like a planet faucet, the solar system culture. Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:53
Oh, 

S. S. Coulter 1:01:53
So s s colter and culture is c o you l t e r. So if you go there, you will see the faucet tails God's dad jokes, 

Rich Bennett 1:02:02
I almost broke my computer. 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:04
I really think it's me. You'll see an coaching. That's the break the chain course and then the app. And we have signups for when that's going to become available. I'm hoping, I don't know when this is going to air, but I'm hoping early 2026 for that. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:19
And went, 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:19
And I do have 

Rich Bennett 1:02:20
go ahead. 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:21
early 2026 for the app. And then my next break the chain course, my next live course is January 5th, because I wanted to treat it like a New Year's resolution, but I'm also creating one that you can take fully on your own. And I'm going to break up the sessions until like 15 20 minute sessions that you can do on your own. My whole thing is I just want to help people get free, get their energy, their time and their joy back. So that's my, that's my goal with 

Rich Bennett 1:02:46
And 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:46
it. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:46
when's the podcast going to launch 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:49
in January or February? Lots going on 

Rich Bennett 1:02:51
Okay, 

S. S. Coulter 1:02:52
right here. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:52
yeah, one is speaking of no years, new years resolutions. I found out the best way to make your resolutions. Don't have a resolution. I don't set New Year's resolutions. I'm sorry, because nobody has more one resolution. You always have one. I'll 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:16
set goals. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:17
found if I said goals, that's better because you always hear all resolutions are made to be broken. 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:23
Oh, 

Rich Bennett 1:03:24
Goals 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:24
I 

Rich Bennett 1:03:25
are 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:25
set. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:25
not 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:26
You have to set things that are 

Rich Bennett 1:03:27
know 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:27
realistic. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:28
yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:28
And I And we shouldn't have a reach. But you've got to be able to get there. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:31
Oh, yeah. 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:32
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:32
You 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:33
You've 

Rich Bennett 1:03:33
don't 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:33
got to be able 

Rich Bennett 1:03:34
to and you don't have to that's what I love about goals because you can have learned long term goals. 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:39
Uh-huh. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:39
Term goes resolutions one year. 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:42
that's true. And you know what the other thing is too with like let's say you want to start working out. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:47
Mm-hmm, 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:47
Don't, don't go to the gym for an hour the first day. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:52
Yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:52
Do something for five minutes. Feel how good is and then add onto that. That's why I start my morning thing with people I say just do three and three 

Rich Bennett 1:03:58
yeah, 

S. S. Coulter 1:03:58
because then you're going to add to it because you're going to see how good that feels. But if you're making yourself do something crazy you're never going to stick up. You never going to stick to that. You just you're going to burn out. Super fit. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:08
exactly. I said before I get to my last question, is there anything 

S. S. Coulter 1:04:12
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:12
you would like to add? 

S. S. Coulter 1:04:15
I just want to add that this is something that we're going to have to lock arms 

with with each other as a culture to change this around because you know I know that not putting your child on a phone in a restaurant may cause some issues but if we can be patient with each other and know that these are good parents who are trying to get their kids to be you know socially socially acceptable like socially be able to look at people to have conversations to talk to the server you're going to they're going to have to have problems they're going to to have meltdowns sometimes 

Rich Bennett 1:04:50
in there. 

S. S. Coulter 1:04:50
Yeah. So be patient with those children and be patient with Gen Z. We put them on those phones we can they can rewire their brains they can take classes like mine. We need to show them that they are bold lions. that. Not anxious squirrels that they're being right now like we need to show them who they are because they're there are future. So I just as hard as this might be this is our future of our country. So 

Rich Bennett 1:05:14
I love 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:15
of our world. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:16
I love that not anxious squirrels but bold lions. 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:20
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:20
You need to get that put on a shirt. 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:24
Okay you're my you're my you're my amazing guy 

Rich Bennett 1:05:26
here. 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:28
You got freedom teams. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:31
All right so for my last question I need you to pick a number between one and 100. 

So I figured you're going to pick your age 28. 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:46
10. Oh gosh, you're so. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:48
Number 10. Why number 10? 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:50
I like the number 10. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:52
Okay. 

S. S. Coulter 1:05:52
It's a good time. It was my soccer number. I was a soccer player. 

Rich Bennett 1:05:55
Oh wait nobody's ever asked. Nobody's ever picked 10 because I don't recognize this question. 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:01
Oh no. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:02
No I like this. At 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:04
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:04
least I don't think anybody's ever it. If your life had a theme song, what would it be and why? 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:14
Oh man, joy to the world. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:15
Three dog night. 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:19
Oh that's hilarious or like the Christmas song. It'd be very similar to joy to the world because I am and I'm not stealing the Christmas song but yeah three night too. I love laughing. I love 

Rich Bennett 1:06:31
time. 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:31
having a good 

Rich Bennett 1:06:32
No. 

S. S. Coulter 1:06:33
This is where I know this world. It just I like to spread joy. My biggest thing that I want to do with all this stuff I'm working on is impact. I want to have an impact. I want to bring joy back to people. But on the flip side of that too, Christmas is like my jam and I am on bin restriction at my house with my husband. I've already like blown the circuits multiple times. He's had to like haven't like electricians come out. So I'm like Clark, Rizouled in a female's body and I tell people I'm like trying really hard to get on the Jesus birthday decorating team in heaven and I think I've got a spot. So like it's the Christmas. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:07
I love that. 

S. S. Coulter 1:07:10
I love that. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:11
I do I do love Christmas. I don't decorate as much because I'll just I mean I do turn my fly, but we have I have a 25 foot fly boy friend. I do turn that into a Christmas tree 

S. S. Coulter 1:07:22
Christmas tree. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:23
Yeah. That's a I've been trying to find giant gift boxes to put on anything and I can't. So I'm going to have to make them. But I just 

S. S. Coulter 1:07:32
That's. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:32
I'm so busy doing Santa. 

S. S. Coulter 1:07:34
Yeah, you're busy. This is I have a friend who does Santa. He's busy the whole time. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:38
Oh, I love it. I love it. And here's the funny thing. You know, people like oh, you do Santa. Kids. You see how kids? It's amazing. It's I don't know what it is. But everybody turns it to a kid at Christmas time because I can't tell you how many adults when a sin on Santa's lap. As a matter of fact, our local chamber of commerce, they have me come at a place Santa and there ain't no kids there. It's all adults and they're coming up to get, you know, send them my lap and get pictures taken with me. 

S. S. Coulter 1:08:11
See, and then that is like the perfect ending to our time together because we, I want everybody to become children again and let our children be children. Because it is so. Wonderful and joyful, 

Rich Bennett 1:08:25
It 

S. S. Coulter 1:08:25
and it's 

Rich Bennett 1:08:25
is. 

S. S. Coulter 1:08:25
what makes this whole life good. 

Rich Bennett 1:08:29
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you can leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at ConversationswithRitchBenedIt.com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care, be kind, and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together. together, And my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing software, the hosting, and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them. And if you can, please, please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following Full full circle boards, nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards, visit them at fullcircleboards.com. Sincerely, Sincerely Sincerely, soil your photography. Live in the moment. They'll capture it. Visit them at sincerelysoyer.com. The Jopitan Lions Club, serving the community since 1965, visit at jopatownlinesclub. org. And don't forget the E at the end of Jopatown because they're extraordinary.