How Jennifer Chase Heals Families Stuck in Addiction

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared a episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios Harford County Living Presence conversations with Rich Bennett. 

No no no no it's not. Who is? 

Rich Bennett 1:00
What happens when you spend your life fighting to break free from the very cycle you swore you'd never repeat only to find yourself right in the middle of it? Today, I'm joined by Jennifer Chase, a woman in long-term recovery, a mother of a recovering addict, and a coach who's walked both sides of the addiction journey. Jennifer's story is impolished. It's raw, honest, and for the kind of hope that only comes from doing the hard, messy work of healing. From growing up as the daughter of an alcoholic, to battling her own addiction, to now helping others break generational cycles of trauma, codependency, and shame, Jennifer proves that recovery isn't just about getting sober. It's about reclaiming your worth, setting boundaries, and finding peace even in life's hardest moments. So if you've ever felt stuck, if you ever love someone in addiction, or if you're simply searching for a story of redemption and real talk about healing, this is a conversation you don't want to miss. So, grab your coffee, your tea, your water, and just sit back, relax, and listen. How are you doing, Jennifer? 

Jennifer Chase 2:19
I'm so good. I'm so glad to be here today. 

Rich Bennett 2:23
Oh, it's an honor to have you on, and I was checking out an episode. I think it was with, what's it called? A couple of nukes? Mr. Whiskey. 

Jennifer Chase 2:35
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 2:36
Is what he goes by? 

Jennifer Chase 2:37
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 2:39
Oh, my God. He gets a lot of people. It's like, I think somehow, another, we keep alternating guests. 

Jennifer Chase 2:46
I love that. 

Rich Bennett 2:47
And you were just on a podcast as well, and I just had this lady on, and that was, oh my God, I'm going to forget her name that fast. And the episode just dropped today. For those of you listening, we're recording on July 16th. Tanya. 

Jennifer Chase 3:06
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 3:10
Faithful. We, anyways, you know who I'm 

Jennifer Chase 3:13
to. 

Rich Bennett 3:13
talking it. 

Jennifer Chase 3:13
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 3:14
Yeah. Her, her story was amazing too. So I, I just want to dive right in because we, 

Jennifer Chase 3:20
Yeah. Let's do 

Rich Bennett 3:20
we talk, we talk about addiction a lot on this, on this episode, on the podcast. And it's, 

I like to help these people as, as much as possible. And one of the things, and I've always said this, I'm sure you can elaborate on this, but it seems like when you're in addiction, that circle, that addiction circle, they don't have your back. However, when you're in recovery, that recovery circle, it's a totally different story. It's like everybody has each other's back. Have you seen it? 

Jennifer Chase 4:02
Oh, for sure. My favorite shape, somebody says to me, hey, Jonathan, for what's your favorite shape, which, of course, nobody does, but it's a 

Rich Bennett 4:10
circle. 

Jennifer Chase 4:12
It's a circle, right? Because 

Rich Bennett 4:14
yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 4:15
it's talked about. And that circle of recovery has absolutely saved my life. It has taught me things that I was either unwilling or wasn't capable of learning up until the moment that I got sober. 

Rich Bennett 4:34
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 4:34
And, and it's not necessarily, I mean, yes, the people in your drug circle don't have your back, but it's also like you don't have your own back yet. 

Rich Bennett 4:43
Exactly. 

Jennifer Chase 4:43
Nobody can have your back when you don't have your own back. And that's the gift of recovery, is it's like not only am I showing up for myself, because most of us once we get there were isolators, we have such shame that we don't think that we're worth being shown up for, right? We're 

Rich Bennett 5:03
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 5:04
really good at showing up for other people, but we're really bad at allowing other people to show up for us. And so this circle teaches us like it's okay to have somebody like show up for you and in those moments, and then I reciprocate that by showing up for them, and it's, it's just this beautiful new way of life 

Rich Bennett 5:25
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm. 

Jennifer Chase 5:25
that really just saved me. 

Rich Bennett 5:28
Now, now all we need to do is to get people like myself and some others that you know we care about people and recovery, and we do whatever we can to help them, and unfortunately you have some people that they just turn their heads and look the other way. So, if we can get everybody to realize that people always deserve a second chance, sometimes even a third chance, and I was, I was, I heard something the other day, and you think about it, it's true, but some of actually is with the lady I just had on some of your best entrepreneurs had addictions. 

Jennifer Chase 6:15
Oh, we are some of the smartest, 

compassionate, empathetic, deep feeling, loving individuals and all of those characteristics that I just shared with you are also the reason why sometimes we choose substance as our solution, right? You spoke a little bit about like the people that turned a blind eye, and that's one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about sharing my story. 

So, in order to break the shame cycle that addiction is in our country, 

Rich Bennett 6:54
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 6:54
we've got to stop looking at the fellow on the street corner that has a substance use problem with, oh my gosh, go get a job. Instead of that, we need to look at him and go, what happened to him, where substance became the solution, right? 

Rich Bennett 7:12
Exactly. 

Jennifer Chase 7:12
Because there isn't a drug addict on this planet and I've met a few in my day, there's not a drug addict in this on the planet that a wanted to be a drug addict or be something happened to them where that became the only solution to life. 

Rich Bennett 7:30
Yep, 

Jennifer Chase 7:30
yep, right. And so, as a community, rather than looking at them as losers, I'm quotation for those that can't see me, right? Quoting losers. Rather, how do we help him unpack whatever has happened to them in their life to be able to, 

Rich Bennett 7:50
yes, 

Jennifer Chase 7:50
do life without substance? And if you'll allow me for just a moment to say why I'm so passionate about this. So I'm a 

Rich Bennett 7:59
No. 

Jennifer Chase 7:59
dog. Haha. 

Rich Bennett 8:01
No, I'm joking, go ahead. 

Jennifer Chase 8:03
an alcoholic. I'm an auto-event alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic and he was my person, right? He was my guy. 

Rich Bennett 8:09
I'm 

Jennifer Chase 8:10
I unfortunately come from generations of this. So most of my adults in my life were alcoholics. I had a grandma that was an opiate addict in the 50s before that was kind of the 

Rich Bennett 8:24
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 8:24
thing. 

But mostly I was just consumed in my life by alcohol, right? And I 

Rich Bennett 8:33
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 8:33
grew up in a lovely, if you were looking at, at my life from the outside, you would have thought I had a lovely life, right? My dad was a successful businessman. I got to do all of the really cool things in life. I spent the week, I had chicken pox and rigly filled watching Cubs games. Like I just did. 

Rich Bennett 8:51
Oh, wow. 

Jennifer Chase 8:51
Really cool things, right? And yet the dysfunction that was going on my house was pretty mind blowing to me as a child. I couldn't make sense of it. 

Rich Bennett 9:03
Ah, 

Jennifer Chase 9:03
And additionally, I'm a part of a statistic, which is that every one out of every four little girls, and one out of every six little boys, that's kind of raised in that kind of dysfunction with disease of addiction is sexually abused. And I was being sexually abused by my mom's dad, right? And so there were all of these sort of common denominators when I would be like, well, I'm clearly the problem, or my grandfather wouldn't be doing this. My dad would be 

Rich Bennett 9:28
right. 

Jennifer Chase 9:28
an assistant, my mom would protect me, my brother and sister who really had a great connection with each other, but not so much with me. And so as these sort of manifested in my life, and I tried to make sense of all of it, I knew this for certain during that time. I wouldn't have been able to tell you, am I going to be a doctor? Am I going to get married? Am I going to have kids? But I would have told you with 100% certainty that I'm not going to be an alcoholic. Like, I'm not doing it like they did it. Like I felt like as a child, of course, I had more courage in my pinky than they had in their whole body, right? 

Rich Bennett 10:07
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 10:08
And I lived that way for quite a while, and then when I was 29 years old, I was diagnosed with a hemorrhaging brain tumor. And yeah, and I was given about 12 hours to live 

Rich Bennett 10:22
they-- 

Jennifer Chase 10:22
if 

Rich Bennett 10:22
What? 

Jennifer Chase 10:23
You didn't work, yeah. And so they went in and it was hemorrhaging pretty bad, and so they removed the tumor, but when they removed the tumor, they cause nerve damage in my head, right? Which led me to chronic pain, which, 

Rich Bennett 10:37
wow. 

Jennifer Chase 10:38
They introduced me to opiates. And this is the thing, I didn't-- I didn't want to be a drug addict. I just-- What I experienced when I first took them was mind-blowing, right? I tell the story, like I could-- I was at home. I was two weeks out of surgery. I'm in my bed high. You know, I mean, not high in the sense-- I mean, I was just taking medication at that point as prescribed. 

Rich Bennett 11:04
You weren't feeling 

Jennifer Chase 11:05
pain. 

Rich Bennett 11:05
any 

Jennifer Chase 11:06
Right. I could hear my husband and my kids in the living room playing. And I said out loud, as though there were another 15 people in that room with me, I said out loud, where the hell has this been my whole life? 

Rich Bennett 11:22
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 11:24
And it was the moment that for the first time in 29 years, I could breathe. And I felt like I could fit in my skin. And I felt like I didn't care that my grandfather had hurt me. And I didn't care that my dad was an alcoholic, and my mom didn't-- I didn't care that I had just said goodbye to my kids and didn't know if I was ever going to see him again. It was in that moment that I was finally okay. And if I can talk to any of your listeners that don't understand what it's like to be in this brain, I never set out to hurt anybody. I merely set out to be able to be in my own skin. And it, of course, over the next several, I mean, decade of time, it morphed into something really bad. It morphed into a situation where I hurt people. And I created trauma in my children. And I did all of the things that you would think a drug addict would do. 

Rich Bennett 12:31
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 12:31
But that was never the intention starting out. Right. And so I tell you this because when we see the gentleman on the street corner who's clearly addicted to substance, he's got a story. Because we all have its story. Right. And if we can just pull back and look through a lens of humanity and try to look at that gentleman with some compassion and empathy, I think this world of addiction and just this world of trauma really will be able to just do it different. We gotta do it different. We gotta do it. 

Rich Bennett 13:10
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Actually, I want to go back a minute. You said with the tumor. 

Jennifer Chase 13:15
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 13:16
Did they, what was it that caused that do you know? 

Jennifer Chase 13:19
So funny. My grandmother that was an opiate addict in the fifties. I am a carbon copy of her. So not only am I opiate addict. But she had a brain tumor that we found out that day was hereditary. And so I had actually had the brain tumor my whole life. It had just got to the point where it got really big and it hemorrhaged. And 

Rich Bennett 13:41
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 13:41
because the tumor was so much like looked so much like brain matter, the times, and I had had a lot of scans previous to that because I had suffered with headaches. No 

Rich Bennett 13:51
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 13:52
figure. I had a brain tumor. But they never saw until the iron showed up from the blood. And so that was that was why it kind of so yeah, it was hereditary. 

And 

Rich Bennett 14:09
how are you now? 

Jennifer Chase 14:10
well, other than I still have chronic pain, so I still have nerve damage, um, and I, and I knew that was going to be a battle the day that I got sober, I knew that I was going to have to figure out how to manage that pain outside of using painkillers, um, but as far as the tumor goes and, and the consequences of that, I've had very little. 

Rich Bennett 14:39
I guess, when they're taking meds that they get addicted to, they still experience that pain, and they find a new way to deal with it, so how are you dealing with that pain now? 

Jennifer Chase 14:49
Yes, so I, not only do I have nerve pain, but I also have rheumatoid arthritis, um, 

Rich Bennett 14:54
well, that's not fun. 

Jennifer Chase 14:55
And so I've, I've had to, I've had to figure it out, right? Because and, 

Rich Bennett 14:59
Yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 14:59
to me that was one of the biggest barriers to getting sober, um, was, okay, how are you going to deal with this? Because it's pretty, it can get pretty dark, right? Anybody, any of your listeners that have chronic pain, like there are days where constant pain can get pretty dark. Um, so some of the things that I do know, and it's not perfect, I'm not going to blow smoke up anyone's you know what? Like there, I, it's not gone 

Rich Bennett 15:24
Jennifer, 

Jennifer Chase 15:25
away. 

Rich Bennett 15:25
you, Jennifer, you can say it. 

Jennifer Chase 15:28
So I do a lot of meditation, I do, I do, I am a, I'm a runner, so that really 

Rich Bennett 15:36
Oh. 

Jennifer Chase 15:37
helps because the anxiety and those sorts of things. I keep that at bay with exercises. 

Rich Bennett 15:45
Right, 

Jennifer Chase 15:46
I do journaling, which also helps. Um, and I take a medication called Feningrin, which is just a anti nausea medication. So 

Rich Bennett 15:57
okay. 

Jennifer Chase 15:57
through this journey, I have been able to find a gut brain connection. And oftentimes I will get nauseous before my nerve pain gets really bad. So we've 

Rich Bennett 16:07
Oh wow, 

Jennifer Chase 16:07
found that if I can keep my nausea under bay, that it will keep my headache from getting super bad. So I mean, we've spent years, I've been to the Mayo Clinic, I've done a lot of things that have tried to. 

Rich Bennett 16:17
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 16:18
Some of this out, and we just find little weird quirks like that that have been able to be helpful to keep it most of the time at a manageable level where I can just carry on. 

Rich Bennett 16:28
And everybody's different. 

Jennifer Chase 16:30
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 16:30
You know, some things work for some people, some things don't work for some people. I know with me, because when I got out of the Marine Corps, that last physical, they told me I had arthritis. And, you know, throughout the years, I've done stupid things. I should never have done it. Keep forgetting that I'm not as strong as I think I am. Yeah. So herniated this, all that. So I know what the pains like, but I even got to be on the brink of tears before I even pop a note. 

Jennifer Chase 17:00
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 17:00
But one of the things that helps and you do the one, which is meditation, to me, that helps out a lot. It's something I swear I would never do until my older brother yelled at me for not doing it. So, of course, I had to do it. And that was a chiropractor. Because I didn't realize all the different things that a chiropractor can help with and yoga, 

Jennifer Chase 17:22
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 17:22
of course. 

Jennifer Chase 17:23
Well, and massage helps me all slow. 

Rich Bennett 17:25
The 

Jennifer Chase 17:28
like I am bruised afterwards kind of massage. But, you know, a nice massage help with the pain and it helps with the arthritis too. So, 

Rich Bennett 17:40
yeah, I get the bruising after a massage only because I asked my wife to take the massage going to me as she 

Jennifer Chase 17:47
yeah, 

Rich Bennett 17:47
bangs that thing. 

Jennifer Chase 17:48
Well, that's different. That's she's just taking some of her resentments out on you. 

Rich Bennett 17:53
Yeah. I believe I am feeling it, too, pain never leaves me after that. So, so at 29, that's when is that when the addiction actually started? 

Jennifer Chase 18:07
2003 is when I had, yeah, 2003 is yes, that is when it started. So, I share this with people, too, that don't understand what it's like in my brain. I, that day that I just described to you was the last day that I had choice when it came to my addiction, right? 

Rich Bennett 18:27
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 18:28
And I was addicted that day emotionally, even though I wasn't physically addictive for probably another three months or something. Not only did I have brain surgery, so I was before before surgery, I was running and I was playing soccer. And so when I had brain surgery, they're like, you can't do that for six weeks. So, I stopped for six weeks and then as soon as I started March of that year, I was playing a soccer game and I tore my ACL. 

Rich Bennett 19:00
Oh, God, 

Jennifer Chase 19:01
So I had ACL surgery two months after I had brain surgery and by the time that surgery was over, I was physically addicted to opiates. Like 

Rich Bennett 19:14
right. 

Jennifer Chase 19:14
there's no doubt. And again, I used for 14 years, I was prescribed absolutely everything I ever took. And if I share with you what I was prescribed, you would absolutely lose your mind. It was in early 2000's, it's when the height of the opiate epidemic was going on in America. And I was heavily over prescribed. Now I don't think that was from a... I don't think they meant to do that. But I had a medical condition that nobody could figure out how to help me, right? And so initially it was like, well let's just get her out of pain. And then it was like, oh she might be addicted and then all of this said and it was like, oh this is a U-problem. We're not... we're not involved in this. And I struggle with that sometimes, because I'm the one that obviously had the consequences of all of that. But I do believe the doctors were doing the very best that they can with what they had. And I don't know if they were negligent or not. I'd like to believe they weren't. But I don't know, right? I don't know what their heart was. But I was prescribed everything I ever took. And it was a massive amount of medication that I was being prescribed 

Rich Bennett 20:37
single day. How 

Jennifer Chase 20:37
every 

Rich Bennett 20:38
many different medications do you remember? 

Jennifer Chase 20:41
So

I was prescribed narco pills, dilated pills, dilated shots, fenigran patches, Zanx, and sleeping pills each month. 

Rich Bennett 20:56
Jesus. 

Jennifer Chase 20:57
Each month. So I would get those each month. And so, I mean, 

Rich Bennett 21:05
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 21:05
it's wild. How much I was being prescribed. 

Rich Bennett 21:09
It's amazing you're still walking. 

Jennifer Chase 21:11
Well, that's the thing about, there's a lot of reasons why it's amazing. I'm still walking. But that's the interesting thing about my life and why I have been able to find peace with all of this is because I believe with everything in me that I was meant to walk through every single one of these situations to be doing what I'm doing today. And so, I look at that as, yes, it is surprising that I'm alive, but I have to be alive in order 

Rich Bennett 21:41
for. Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 21:41
For my higher power to be working through me, given all of these experiences to help other people. 

Rich Bennett 21:47
I want to go back to when the addiction started at 29 with the tumor and everything because you were married and had kids at this time, right? 

Jennifer Chase 22:00
Correct. 

Rich Bennett 22:00
So, how was everything with your husband and the kids? I mean, well, I'm sure your husband knew, but how I don't know how we're the kids at the time and how is everything with that. 

Jennifer Chase 22:14
So when I got sick, my kids were two and five. 

Rich Bennett 22:17
Oh, wow. 

Jennifer Chase 22:18
I had been married for just over five years at that point. 

Rich Bennett 22:24
Potentically, still newlyweds in a way. 

Jennifer Chase 22:26
Yeah, so I interestingly enough, I believe, I shared with you the only thing I ever wanted to do was to not be my parents. The only thing I wanted 

Rich Bennett 22:36
to -- Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 22:36
To break the chains of this thing. And my life, when I got married up until when I had my brain tumor, was a dream. 

Rich Bennett 22:43
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 22:44
I mean, it was in a very happy marriage. I was a stay at home with these babies that I adored. I even called my parents one evening and told them that I had more courage in my pinky than they had in their whole body. 

Rich Bennett 22:57
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 22:58
The young 20-year-old version of me was like, I believed I had done it. I believed that I was the one after all of these generations of abuse and addiction that I was the one to be able to break the chain. So my life up into that moment was a dream. And when I got sick, it slowly -- that's the thing about addiction, right? It wasn't like pedal to the metal all of a sudden. It was a slow progression. And I share this with my story as well as it was complicated because I had a medical condition. So I think people were a lot more patient with me and my behaviors as the addiction got worse because I had this component of of like legitimate medical condition that was legitimately causing me pain. 

Rich Bennett 23:55
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 23:55
So there was a lot of empathy and compassion for that part. And so it took a long time for my husband to be like, "Okay." Right? Like, we're not doing this anymore, right? 

Rich Bennett 24:11
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 24:11
And even my daughter, so she was five when I got sick. It wasn't until she was in high school that she shared with me that, like, "Oh, you're an addict. This isn't just about your pain." Right? 

Rich Bennett 24:22
Wow. That had to hit 

Jennifer Chase 24:25
hard. Yeah. It was a lot like it was growing, right? 

Rich Bennett 24:29
think, 

Jennifer Chase 24:29
And I 

Rich Bennett 24:30
yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 24:31
a lot of the components, I think my husband's rescuing and enabling was more significant because of my medical condition as well. So to answer your question, and this is for audience, I recognized that what I'm about ready to say is kind of a mic drop. But in October of 2016, I found out that I had become my son's drug dealer. 

Rich Bennett 25:01
Wow. 

And 

Jennifer Chase 25:07
I wish, with everything in me, that that would have been enough. 

I wish that given that understanding, I would have said, "Oh, my gosh, we're done here." 

Rich Bennett 25:22
The hell was he at the time? 

Jennifer Chase 25:24
He was 17. 

So he's a lot like his mama and has mental health sort of struggles with some anxiety and some depression. And of course, living in a house with me and the chaos at that time that was going 

Rich Bennett 25:43
in 

Jennifer Chase 25:44
on I knew that he started dabbling in marijuana when he was about 15. I think initially it was being self-medicated for his anxiety and depression. I did not know at all that he had become an opiate addict. And there was a lot of things that kind of happened that we, it came to light. And again, I, God, I wish it had been enough. I look back at that time and say, "My God, Jennifer, why did you just not stop that very second?" 

Rich Bennett 26:24
Right? Right. 

Jennifer Chase 26:24
But if I can again get you in my head, the only thing I was concerned about in that moment was, "Oh my gosh, now it makes perfect sense why I'm running out every month." 

Rich Bennett 26:37
He was taking it. 

Jennifer Chase 26:38
Because he's taking my drugs, right? So the only solution is like, don't forget, I have a medical condition, right? So the solution is to get you, my son, off of my drugs. And it took a long time to get from that initial perspective to months later. And it wasn't a tremendously long time. I got sober 

Rich Bennett 27:03
about 

Jennifer Chase 27:03
eight months after that. And so he graduated from high school on the 27th of May. And I checked myself into a facility on the 28th. And that was not by accident, right? And I went into that facility that day with the mindset of, it's like, "Okay, I'm going to learn to use like a general lady. I'm going to get my tolerance down. I'm going to get so many drugs out of the house so that, you know, it's not so hard. I never--I did not enter that facility that day with the mindset of like abstinence or like recovery, right? 

Rich Bennett 27:40
Right. Right. 

Jennifer Chase 27:41
I was just trying to do it a softer, easier way where I could still have my drugs and save my son at the same time." 

Rich Bennett 27:50
Trying to control it? 

Jennifer Chase 27:51
Yep, yep. And after 28 days in that facility, I realized that the only way to save my son was myself. 

Rich Bennett 28:01
Yeah, and that makes perfect sense because now he's addicted, he's addicted. And with you going through addiction, 

damn, that's got to be hard. 

And now it crept me off from wrong, but your husband was not addiction, 

Jennifer Chase 28:24
right? So my husband in the picture is the consummate rescuer and enabler, right? So if I had a prescription due at midnight on a Tuesday, he was there at 1202. 

Rich Bennett 28:38
To pick it 

Jennifer Chase 28:39
To 

Rich Bennett 28:39
up, 

Jennifer Chase 28:39
pick it up, right? And bless his heart. He did all of these things that he loves me, right? And I 

Rich Bennett 28:45
right? 

Jennifer Chase 28:46
had doubt that at all. Like he took care of the kids and I had very few consequences when it came to that kind of thing. I mean because he loved me, and this is one of the reasons I feel so passionately working for families now, he was not responsible for my addiction, but he contributed to the length of it, 

Rich Bennett 29:05
right? 

Jennifer Chase 29:06
He contributed to how long I was able to do it before the consequences outweighed the benefits. 

Rich Bennett 29:14
All 

right, so now you're in this facility? And you said on the 28th they realize that how much sooner before you got out and back 

Jennifer Chase 29:27
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 29:27
home 

Jennifer Chase 29:27
so I was there for 28 days. I probably really 

Rich Bennett 29:30
was full 28th. 

Jennifer Chase 29:31
Yeah, I probably realized I don't know it at maybe 14 or 15 about 

Rich Bennett 29:36
Okay. 

Jennifer Chase 29:36
That I was gonna have to do this for me and that it wasn't it wasn't gonna it couldn't be for him Or my daughter. I mean, I don't don't get me wrong like it was both of them, right? 

Rich Bennett 29:46
like 

Jennifer Chase 29:46
It was 

Rich Bennett 29:46
Yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 29:47
I I wanted to do it for both of them But I realized at that point that that we gotta do this for me or not So I was there for 28 days and then I went to an outpatient program for another six months and 

That between those two facilities was where my life was absolutely changed and the 

It's where I started talking about my sexual abuse as a child because I hadn't spoke about 

Rich Bennett 30:16
Oh shit 

Jennifer Chase 30:17
it ception to my husband since sharing it with my mom when it wasn't when it was like when I did that really happened right So I hadn't talked about it, so that was I Wow Started to talk about that I started connecting with these other beautiful humans like I didn't have to tell you about my shame because you already knew about it, right? Like you felt it yourself, and it's like this this connection that I had with these other Alcoholics and addicts was the connection that I had been yearning for my whole life And in that facility I made three connections so you probably maybe heard the saying the opposite of addiction is connection and That is true for me and I needed to connect to my higher power so I don't think I'm unique in this, but those of us that have been sexually abused as a children I think it's easy to understand why we feel like we were sort of abandoned by any higher power pretty early on in life, right? and so This was a moment and so so just saying I needed to connect with my higher power like one of the hardest things I've ever done is to find that connection The second one is to connect with other individuals and then thirdly, and I did this one last was connecting with myself 

Rich Bennett 31:36
very important 

Jennifer Chase 31:37
Yeah, but really hard, right? 

Rich Bennett 31:40
Yeah and 

Jennifer Chase 31:41
so I was sober for three years before my son got sober and 

by far The hardest thing I've ever done was those three years that I 

Had to make some decisions on how I was going to contribute to the problem or contribute to the solution and Really being powerless in a way that I had never been powerless even in my own disease I I felt more powerless over my son's disease than my own Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 32:17
Do 

Jennifer Chase 32:17
right 

Rich Bennett 32:18
you do you feel that? Because I didn't realize it took you that long before you talked about the sexual abuse. But did once you talked about that Did it actually feel like a ton of bricks were being lifted off your shoulder and 

Almost I get it would felt like recovery was going to be easier 

Jennifer Chase 32:41
Well, yes, and let me tell you why that was true So I will never forget I was in it and I was in the outpatient room We were in the group. We were in a circle and I had this spiritual moment of understanding that 

My grandfather who had been dead for you like years 

Still controlled every decision and action that I did in my entire life, right? I used to say like he changed who I was From the moment that those behaviors started happening to me when I was a little girl But then I allowed him to continue to change who I was because I was unable to forgive him And so in that moment in that group room when I realized that and I literally was like oh no We're we're forgiving you and we're doing it for me right 

Rich Bennett 33:32
Yeah. Yes 

Jennifer Chase 33:32
where we're doing this for me Not only does the little girl inside of me deserve that but the grown-ass version of me deserves that And so I think in combination of talking about it and that forgiveness piece that I had Just changed it all I mean just tremendously and and obviously I You know come on your podcast and other people's podcast and I just talk about it because every single time I talk about it It takes a little bit of the power and the shame away from it. 

Rich Bennett 34:04
Yeah 

Jennifer Chase 34:05
when I was when I was in the inpatient treatment facility and I we we were in the main group room with all the people and I said hey I need to just say this out loud before we're done for the night and I said you know I was sexually abused as a child and I'm walking back to my room that night and a lady came over to me and she was weeping and she said Jennifer was raped when I was 16 and you're the 

Rich Bennett 34:29
I 

Jennifer Chase 34:29
only person I've ever told right again it goes back to the moment that we all have a story right we 

Rich Bennett 34:36
yeah 

Jennifer Chase 34:37
all are sitting in those seats because substance became the solution to something and and in that moment I also realized it's like oh oh I need to keep talking about this 

Rich Bennett 34:49
mm-hmm 

Jennifer Chase 34:50
because it gives people permission to start talking about their own story and start talking about you know the reasons why they chose substance and every time I have and I've been doing it for a hot second it just gets a little bit easier and it takes a little bit of the shame away and you know takes my power back from this

Rich Bennett 35:13
yes I've got to tell you about something that's seriously impressive my girlfriend Chris recently tried M sculpt neo at living well health care in often and the results absolutely incredible I'm talking visible muscle tone and fat reduction all without stepping foot into a gym m sculpt neo is a non invasive body contouring treatment and builds muscle and burns fat at the same time it uses advanced technology to give you the equivalent of 20 thousand crunches or squats in one session you heard me right 20 thousand living well health care in Elkton isn't just another wellness center it's run by dr. William Clifford who's been helping people feel and move better for decades if you're tired of working out with our results or just want to kick start to your fitness goals this is the move check them out at living well health care elkton dot com again that's living well health care elkton dot com tell them Rich and Chris sent you all right let me ask you this because you said you forgave your grandfather 

which is that's I think something that a lot of people for some reason feel they can't do but the bigger question is have you forgiven yourself because a lot of times people in your situation you have that shame and it's lots of people find it hard to forgive themselves for holding it in so much or for so long 

Jennifer Chase 36:59
I have forgiven myself look back at the small version of me and 

Rich Bennett 37:06
yeah 

Jennifer Chase 37:06
that small version of me was trying to tell people without the words right without the ability to articulate or the life experience needed to tell the adults in her life what was going on um so 

Rich Bennett 37:21
I 

Jennifer Chase 37:23
I I have shame around things like um hmm who the version of myself that that manifested I don't know 

Rich Bennett 37:34
mm 

Jennifer Chase 37:35
if that makes sense 

Rich Bennett 37:36
but I don't absolutely 

Jennifer Chase 37:37
but I don't have shame about that part like I don't connect responsibility to myself uh 

Rich Bennett 37:45
right 

Jennifer Chase 37:46
for the abuse itself I there are things that that that abuse manifested about me that I for sure do carry shame about 

Rich Bennett 37:55
yeah 

Jennifer Chase 37:55
um well we're on it right like that's my life work is to kind of walk through all of that shame but um I don't blame her I don't blame that little girl uh I know that she was doing her best to try to make sense of all of it um and now and she just didn't have the adults around her to protect her 

Rich Bennett 38:17
right and now that little girl is helping others 

Jennifer Chase 38:20
well that's that's the only thing that makes sense 

Rich Bennett 38:23
yeah 

Jennifer Chase 38:24
I mean that's only thing that makes sense of any of this um you know the reason I do what I do is I I was I was striped so I'd been sober for about I think three months and my husband and I are driving down the road and I'm telling him like I'm so excited and I'm like oh my gosh like this is what we did in group and I met this person and I you know I wrote this and I feel so free and I've never felt free in my life and I look over at him and he's like dead panned and I'm 

Rich Bennett 38:54
wow 

Jennifer Chase 38:54
like kind of look at him and he's like I'm so grateful that you're experiencing this but I went through this too 

Rich Bennett 39:03
what 

Jennifer Chase 39:03
I have nobody to talk to about it and I and I was like I was shocked. 

Rich Bennett 39:14
yeah 

Jennifer Chase 39:15
And him saying to that has always so. I worked in the treatment field for about six years, but there was always this thing pulling me that said 

Rich Bennett 39:23
mm-hmm 

Jennifer Chase 39:23
you gotta go work with the families. You gotta go work with the kids that you were, you know, that version of you that didn't understand your dad as an alcoholic. You gotta work with the mamas. And fortunately or unfortunately, I have all of these different perspectives on this disease. I can speak as your neighborhood addict, right? If you don't understand what it's like to be in my brain, but I can also have deep empathy and compassion for those other roles because I too wear those hats. And so, um, and really my husband gave me such a gift by saying that because now it's like, okay, let's go, let's go try to untangle this thing as a family because we all know if you work in this field, this disease is a family disease, right? 

Rich Bennett 40:17
Yes. 

Jennifer Chase 40:17
It is a multi-pronged family's contribute, whether they want to want to believe they contribute or not. And so how do we untangle this thing and allow everybody to find peace not just the addict because this thing is as isolating for the mama is as it is for the addict, right? So, all of a sudden you got a child that's an addict and you don't talk to your friends the same way. The same things don't matter. You don't want to tell them how f'd up your family is or you know, whatever that looks like and so it becomes very isolating. And so the goal is how do we build that community for families and how do we help them contribute to the solution rather than the problem. 

Rich Bennett 41:02
And I'm glad you're doing that because there are and I think about, you know, in the beginning we talked about that addict on the street. 

Jennifer Chase 41:09
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 41:10
yep. Well, that addicts got family and friends and that family may be worried because they have no idea where he is or she is. And a lot of people don't think about the family. And actually while we're talking about that, what are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about loving someone with addiction? 

Jennifer Chase 41:34
But I can love them sober like I can love them to sobriety right I can I can get them there. 

Rich Bennett 41:41
I like that 

Jennifer Chase 41:42
right I can I can just I can if I just you know let them stay in a hotel instead of being homeless then they'll understand and they'll they'll give them a hand up to be able to go get sober right or. And I'm not a tough love gal. That is not what I 

Rich Bennett 41:59
am tough love does not work with everybody. 

Jennifer Chase 42:02
I am not a tough love gal what I am is to allow somebody the full weight of their disease and consequences. A tough love to me resembles like I'm going to add I'm going to add to it right I'm going to make it more challenging for them I'm going to my boundaries are going to be in a punishing form if that makes sense. 

Rich Bennett 42:21
Yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 42:21
I'm in the camp that it's like I'm not adding anything to it I'm just going to allow you your own life I'm going to allow you your own consequences and however it plays out I'm going to allow you to do that regardless of how much pain it causes me. I think that that's where this comes in is the courage to identify that the most loving thing that I can do as a mom right is to sit in the discomfort and not try to change somebody's outcome because I'm my discomfort and I realized that's the most loving thing that I can do for my son because if you think about your life maybe you're not an addict. Have you ever experienced real change without some discomfort right have you ever experienced real transformation without pain but the problem is when we're talking about addicts as loved ones a lot of the times because of our own fear and because of our own pain we don't allow them that discomfort. And then we wonder why they don't change and why they don't grow right it's like we gotta take some responsibility that we're the ones holding their pants down you know they're from being able to run away and grow because I'm uncomfortable with what that might look like. 

And so that's the journey is like let's figure out how to find our own peace as a family member like whether my addicted loved one gets sober or not and that is possible if you just heard me say that and you're like Jennifer you've lost your mind I promise you that it is possible to find peace if you're addict ever get sober or not. 

Rich Bennett 44:04
Yeah 

Jennifer Chase 44:06
yeah right and so that's step number one and then step number two is like literally how do I contribute to the solution. Like, how do I potentially move somebody onto the path of change rather than keeping them in a cycle of addiction? Um, and, and I'm not, again, I'm not a smoke blower. 

and then, when the family members start contributing to the solution, amazingly, 

amazingly, the addict, all the sudden starts moving through the stages of change and eventually will start talking words of like, 'I want to get sober'. 

Rich Bennett 45:05
I want to go back a minute here too, because, alright, so now you're in recovery, you're sober, you're helping your son. But you mentioned earlier that it was your daughter that said that, 'told you you were an addict'. 

Jennifer Chase 45:19
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:23
How, how was your daughter when she found out that her brother, younger brother, right, was addicted as well? 

Jennifer Chase 45:32
It has been a journey. 

Rich Bennett 45:34
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 45:36
So, in my family, if we aren't, if we aren't careful, and we are, but if we 

Rich Bennett 45:41
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 45:41
aren't, if we weren't careful, it would be my son and my daughter on one corner and my, my son and I on the other, right, like, we just gravitate that way. Uh, my husband and my daughter are a lot alike, and my son and I are a lot alike. 

Rich Bennett 45:55
Right, 

Jennifer Chase 45:55
And so, sometimes those are propensity to be like, 'Well, there's the addicts side' and, 'Oh, here's us that aren't', right? Like, here's the side that's got their stuff together and here's the side that, that isn't. And so, we've worked really hard to create that empathy and compassion within our own home. Right. So, 

Rich Bennett 46:16
right. 

Jennifer Chase 46:17
I tried very hard to have the same language and the same conversations that I would have with anybody, even about that gentleman on the street corner. 

Rich Bennett 46:25
Mm-hmm. 

Jennifer Chase 46:26
But there is this understanding. I think there's this frustration sometimes that our brains are just a little different, right? My son and I are very, very, very deep feelers. We are empaths, if you know me, right, like, we take on other people's feelings, even 

Rich Bennett 46:43
in... Mm-hmm. 

Jennifer Chase 46:44
And sometimes it creates a little bit of this in our emotions, like, because we have such big feelings, we have them when they're good, and we have them when they're heart, right? And so, it creates a little bit of this and I've... 

Rich Bennett 46:59
The roller coaster. 

Jennifer Chase 46:59
Yeah, and I've chosen to be medicated, which helps tremendously, but my son has opted not to be. And which is perfectly his decision to make, but as I say to him, like, so my medication, I have a chemical imbalance, it just keeps me off the bottom of the toilet bowl, if you will. 

Rich Bennett 47:17
Okay. Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 47:19
Give me a little bit of a safety net to keep me off the toilet bowl out of the bottom, but my son has chosen not to do that, so he has to be even more aware and 

Rich Bennett 47:28
Mm-hmm, 

Jennifer Chase 47:28
use even more, like, different coping skills to keep him off of the bottom, if you will, because he doesn't have that safety net. And so 

Rich Bennett 47:36
right. 

Jennifer Chase 47:36
sometimes it's a little bit of, it is that roller coaster. If you're, sorry, I keep forgetting that maybe your listeners aren't 

Rich Bennett 47:42
Okay, 

Jennifer Chase 47:42
listening. 

Rich Bennett 47:42
you're fine. 

Jennifer Chase 47:43
And it's a way of thing with my hand. And I think sometimes she gets frustrated with that, and there's, obviously, there's nobody, no family, walks through what our family has walked through over the last 20-some years, and there aren't consequences to it, right? There are, I've sat in a lot of counseling offices where they have, Excuse me, written me letters, or, you know, when my son went to rehab, there was calls with his counselors, where she was mediating some things that he needed to say to me. And 

Rich Bennett 48:21
right? 

Jennifer Chase 48:22
even though I've been sober for this long, there are still days where they are frustrated, and specifically her, because my son understands addiction, Right? He understands the pole that happens in our brain, and, but let me just tell you, if there's anything that I am proud, I couldn't, the pride that I have, that my family has, my marriage is still intact, that my children and us are as close as we are, that we've healed in a way where we can all be authentically who we are. Because by the way, that's the only way an addict will heal, right? If we, if you are in a family system, I call it a dance floor, so if you have a dance floor with your family, where your addict cannot be authentically who they are. Now this could be. This could be, you know, and this is sometimes hard to hear, but maybe you grew up in a pretty religious home and your child is LGBTQ. 

Rich Bennett 49:23
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 49:24
Maybe they, like whatever it is, if they can't be authentically who they are on your dance floor, they're going to be one of two things. They're going to be high because that's the only way they could be on that dance floor. Or they're going to be gone. Those are the, there are two options, right. And so I'm very proud that we have created this dance floor as a family where we can all authentically be who we are, but being authentically who you are does not come without conflict. 

Rich Bennett 49:55
Con seconds, yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 49:56
Right. Then they come without conflict. And so I just have to be reminded on the daily that that's good, right? That's what we're working towards here, but it's hard. And she has been maybe affected the most. 

Rich Bennett 50:16
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 50:16
Right. She has a lot of abandonment issues. She's pretty intolerant to a lot of sort of substance use. And so we've had to help soften her edges a little bit in regards to that just from a compassionate standpoint. But she went through it and she was the oldest and she tried to protect her brother. And so she carried that Even when she knew that there was a potential substance problem before we do, right, 

Rich Bennett 50:46
weight. 

Jennifer Chase 50:47
before 

Rich Bennett 50:47
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 50:47
we did. So his friends would come talk to her and she carried that weight even before before we knew. And so there have for sure been consequences, but we're working our way them. 

Rich Bennett 50:59
It sounds like she once, once she found out about your addiction, it's as if she stepped up and became the mother. 

Jennifer Chase 51:08
Yeah. It's interesting. She's never said that to me. But for sure, for sure she did that with her brother. 

Rich Bennett 51:17
Yeah. Wow. And how is she doing today? 

Jennifer Chase 51:20
She's thriving. 

All right. 

Rich Bennett 51:23
And what about your son? 

Jennifer Chase 51:24
He's thriving. About a year ago, he gave me my first granddaughter, which was just the--

Rich Bennett 51:31
Oh, congratulations. 

Jennifer Chase 51:33
The most amazing experience of my life. He recently bought a house, which for somebody that's 26 in this in this climate of of real estate, especially in--

Rich Bennett 51:41
Uh-huh. 

Jennifer Chase 51:42
As a huge deal. He's doing really well. He's in the trades, and he has a great job. And not just saying, again, I'm doing this way thing again. This is the thing that I think it's really important for people to understand about addiction. This is a life work. This is life 

Rich Bennett 51:59
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 51:59
work that I'm going to be doing. And why is that true? Because substance is not the problem. I'm going to say that again for the people in the back. If substance were the problem, and I stopped using it, then I would-- I would never have another struggle in my life, right? It would be 

Rich Bennett 52:13
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 52:13
solved. But substance is not the problem. And so, when I stop using substance, I still have the problem. 

Rich Bennett 52:21
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 52:22
Right. And so for my son, similar to me, the life work is going to be shame, right? life work is feeling like a square peg in a round hole. And so he's still-- and I still, right, isn't just not about him. I think Alex in general that are in recovery, we still do this walk, and we still do this dance, and this work sometimes is easier on one day and harder on the next. 

Rich Bennett 52:48
Right. I want it because I'm looking at the time too. And I definitely want to hit this. Right. When did you become an addiction life coach? 

Jennifer Chase 52:59
So I worked at the treatment facility, the outpatient treatment facility that I got sober. I was in-- I was on the executive team and helped build that company, and it was an absolute dream, right? It was--

Rich Bennett 53:13
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 53:14
It was just amazing, and yet I was getting this pull. That Jennifer-- I could hear my higher power saying, Jennifer, I didn't walk you through all of these different scenarios of this disease to--

To just focus on the addict, right? Like, I actually walked you through all of these different perspectives for you to be able to help the family. And so as I loved my job, and I think, even more than loving my job, I loved the human beings that I got to work with. This pull was undeniable. And so last March, I resigned from that company that I loved, and I have been doing this for just over a year now, and 

Rich Bennett 54:06
Wow. 

Jennifer Chase 54:06
then out on my own, started my own business, got all my certifications, and took a leap of faith. For sure a leap of faith, right? Especially a financial leap of faith. And it has been hard and challenging and I have learned a lot about myself in the process but the most fulfilling and rewarding thing that I've ever done. 

Rich Bennett 54:27
All right, and speak it up rewarding because this is something that I always love to hear from my guest. Even though you've only been doing it a year, can you share a feel good story about someone you were able to actually help and you don't need to use their name? 

Jennifer Chase 54:45
Yeah, I mean, I have a few. 

Rich Bennett 54:49
But, okay. 

Jennifer Chase 54:50
And it's not even somebody that I've been, I mean, I'm helping them. But this is a really like a small microcosm of sort of how this work goes. So I have a client who is in her 70s. She has a son that is 45 that is living at home with her two grandchildren. The mom of those children are, they have a restraining order and some hard things that have happened. And so she's got a lot of fear around the safety of her grandchildren. And so in that, she has set, initially set boundaries of like you can't use subs, to her son, you can't use, you know, substance in my home, you can't do any of these things. But as he's broken those barriers because of the fear of her grandchildren, she hasn't been able to hold to the boundary. And so G and I, the work that we've done is like, let's, let's find, meet her where she's at. Let's break this down to a boundary that you actually can stick to. 

Rich Bennett 55:47
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 55:47
And gain confidence because this is the thing about boundaries. Boundaries must be rigid. Boundaries must be black and white, especially when you're talking to an addict. Because, 

Rich Bennett 56:01
mm-hmm. 

Jennifer Chase 56:01
Giving an inch, what I'm thinking as an addict is, oh, so what you're saying is I gotta shot to blow through this thing, right. 

Rich Bennett 56:08
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 56:09
In the door, if you give a cot, if you say, you're, you need to be home by 12, but you do nothing at 12,03, what you've said to me is, oh, I gotta shot at this thing, right. So boundaries being rigid are very, very important and she couldn't set them yet because of her fear. They were getting there, right, but we couldn't start. So the boundary that she came up with and this might sound silly to some of your listeners, but I'm so proud of it. The boundary she came up with is that I won't do your laundry if your socks are not unfolded. 

Right. 

Rich Bennett 56:44
Interesting. 

Jennifer Chase 56:45
And, and she's like, I can hold to that. I just won't do as laundry, right? And she's a little like the laundry needs to be done, but she's like, I can do that a hundred percent of the time. So we started there and that gave her confidence to set the next boundary. See, this is the thing when you're talking about an addict, we're talking about life and death in most cases. Right. And we're talking about our own fears and we're talking, I mean, just the panic of walking through this with you're an addicted loved one. And sometimes it's so important to break it down to what we can succeed at, what we can do and start there. I have so many clients that I had been working with over the years really because I started doing this work before I actually started my own business. So I was doing it in the capacity of the the treatment facility that I worked with. And so some of these clients I've had for a lot longer than just a year. 

Rich Bennett 57:43
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 57:43
Some of them like four or five years. And I have a client who's son has gone in and out of addiction and he is an opiate addict, right, he uses fentanyl. So the stakes are real, the stakes are real real high. And she has gone from absolutely losing her relationship with her other child that is not an addict because of the chaos, right. And the could potentially losing her marriage because of the codependency to finding peace. And he has gone in and out of jail. He's gone in and out of of relapsing and sobriety and relapsing. And we've set up plans for what it looks like when he gets out of jail. I've had him in my office and her in her office in 

Rich Bennett 58:30
right. 

Jennifer Chase 58:30
He set out boundaries and all of the things and he's relapsed and gone back to jail right now. And through all of that, she has been able to keep her peace. And for me, that's why I do this work. Not say it's not hard, right. Not to say that there aren't days. She gives herself 24 hours sometimes when she needs to mourn and grieve what's going on. But for the most part, like a lot of the most parts she has kept her peace. And that's why I do this work. 

Rich Bennett 58:59
Alright, so with the work you're doing, it can really take a toll on your mental health. So are you still... I mean, you were dealing with the chronic pain. 

Jennifer Chase 59:11
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 59:12
What are you doing now for your own mental health, especially when you're talking to other people like that? Yeah, 

Jennifer Chase 59:19
so oddly, I don't know why. 

can do this work and still sort of shut the doors not the good thing. But I can compartmentalize between... 

Rich Bennett 59:35
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 59:37
Those of us that have been sexually abused in our life, we compartmentalize very, very well. And so I can do that even though, even though sometimes people reach out to me in a crisis and I'm with my family or whatever, I can still, I can still do that. Okay, but that's not to say that my, that my health is not of top priority. So, a couple of things that I do I spoke about earlier. I meditate, right? I do it a lot. I do it in high stress moments. I do it when I'm feeling unsettled. I am an empath, so I take on other people's emotions. So I also journal about that, about like, is this the way I'm feeling or is this the way somebody else is feeling, right? And try to delineate between what's mine and what is theirs, which has been very helpful for me. I exercise, I serve other people when it has nothing to do with my own work. Right. So I 

Rich Bennett 1:00:35
Love 

Jennifer Chase 1:00:35
go, 

Rich Bennett 1:00:35
that. 

Jennifer Chase 1:00:36
I go, serve other people, that takes me out of myself immediately. Like, it's the most selfishly wonderful thing that I do. It's 

Rich Bennett 1:00:47
selfish at all. 

Jennifer Chase 1:00:47
Well, it feels selfish because I'm getting such a relief and a benefit from it, right? 

Rich Bennett 1:00:53
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 1:00:53
And I do it, I do it, I think with good intention, but the truth is I get just as much from it as giving. And so, and then, and then I have a counselor, which probably is the most important part of it all. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:05
Yeah. 

Jennifer Chase 1:01:06
I need somebody, and I, and I go twice a month religiously without fail, because I still need to do work on my own experience. Like, I can't help somebody else if I'm not doing work on myself. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:19
Right. 

Jennifer Chase 1:01:20
And, and then she's also an outlet for me if something's hard is happening that I can to be able to process that too. So, and, you know, meetings and my people and all of the things that the other people that work in this field understand sometimes the weight. And so, you know, those people are always a really good resource too. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:40
All right. So, sub the very important, can you work with people anywhere or is it strictly where you're at? 

Jennifer Chase 1:01:47
No, anywhere is not the most beautiful thing. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:50
Well, then how do they get in touch with you? 

Jennifer Chase 1:01:53
I can, in fact, I do, I do, so I have three services, the first one is individual sessions, right? So, I can help you sort of navigate boundaries and experiences and grief and some of those things. The second one is I do coaching calls twice a week and people from all over the country, 

Rich Bennett 1:02:10
I love it. 

Jennifer Chase 1:02:11
Get on coaching calls and we, they can create community with one another and we talk about the experiences that we're having and I have some like books and things that we work on. So, that's a really cool. And then thirdly, twice a year, I do wellness retreats where all of these people 

Rich Bennett 1:02:29
go. 

Jennifer Chase 1:02:31
on the coaching calls and through sessions and all that get to like be with each other. Because again, as a recovering addict, I had community, right? 

Rich Bennett 1:02:41
Connecting 

Jennifer Chase 1:02:41
And my husband did not. And so, I am desperately trying to create this community for family members because it can be so isolated. So, those are my three services. I can do all of those. I can do sessions and coaching calls anywhere in this country and do. And you can reach me at www. RiseAddictionLC.com. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:09
RiseAddictionLC.com. Well, that's easy to remember. 

Jennifer Chase 1:03:11
Yep. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:12
All right. So, Jennifer, before I get to my last question, which I have no idea what it's going to be, 

Jennifer Chase 1:03:17
I love 

Rich Bennett 1:03:19
so do 

Jennifer Chase 1:03:20
that. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:20
I. Something do I start it? Is there anything you would like to add? 

Jennifer Chase 1:03:25
I just want people to know that they're worth it. Right? Like, we aren't made as human beings to live in despair. We aren't made as human beings to live in sort of a fear mindset and darkness. And there is a way out even though it might not feel like it. Right? It might not feel like it in this moment. But if you have heard anything that I've said today and you feel like maybe I'm a tiny bit trustworthy, hear this. You are worth it. And there is a way out of this thing and we don't need to suffer. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:03
I love that. All right. So, I have a hundred different questions here. Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you all 100. 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:09
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:11
I started doing this. And the weird thing is somehow or another, most of the question or most of the numbers that the people picked, my guess is picked. The question, '. So we're going to see if you got those, what I'd like to say, the telescopic powers 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:30
then. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:30
here and So pick a number between 1 and 100. 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:35
(16) 

Rich Bennett 1:04:36
6, why 16? That's not the question, but... 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:39
It's my favorite 

Rich Bennett 1:04:40
number. Oh, damn. All right, this is a-this is a going. 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:44
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:46
If you could leave behind one legacy, 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:48
ehm, 

Rich Bennett 1:04:49
what would you want it to be? 

Jennifer Chase 1:04:54
Uh, that life is hard, and it's-it's hard for all of us, right? I think growing up, I thought life was only hard for me, and so when I found substance, I thought that that was like even the playing field for me. Because life was only hard for me, and what I've realized is being in recovery is hard, and doing this work is hard, and showing up for myself every single day so that I can be sober tomorrow is hard, but what is also hard is being a drug addict. And so today I get to choose my heart, and I think as a society, we do-it's an injustice to not tell people that life is hard for everyone. My legacy is, do heart. Don't-don't back down from heart, right? Have the courage to sit in hard, to-to learn from heart, to tell people about the heart, and that way we can create this community of people that are the bravest, most courageous human beings doing the work required here on Earth. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:07
I love that. And I think there's something else that's gonna be added to your legacy. I have a funny feeling, you are going to be changing the lives of some of those people that are addicted, that are sitting on the street, that people just keep walking about, walking by and ignoring. I think-I just-I sense it, that you are going to be changing their lives, big time, everywhere. 

Jennifer Chase 1:06:35
My prayer is, if somebody asks me what's one thing you want to do, I would want to break the stigma of this thing. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:41
Yes! 

Jennifer Chase 1:06:42
And so, you just saying that just fills my whole heart, and I thank you so much for your words. 

Rich Bennett 1:06:49
Oh, well, I want to thank you for coming on, it's been an honor, and I have a funny feeling we're gonna be talking again, because I want to mention something to you when we're finished here. 

Jennifer Chase 1:06:59
Okay, I love 

Rich Bennett 1:07:01
Thanks, 

Jennifer Chase 1:07:01
it! 

Rich Bennett 1:07:02
Jennifer! 

Jennifer Chase 1:07:02
Thank you so much! 

Rich Bennett 1:07:04
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media, or visit our website at Conversations With Rich Bennett.com for updates, giveaways, and more. Until next time, take care, be kind, and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together, and and my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing software, the hosting, and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them, and if you can please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following. Real-life Real life prosthetics, cutting-edge solutions, restoring ability since 2001. Go to reallifeprostetics.com Full full circle boards, nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards, visit them at fullcircleboards.com. Sincerely, Sincerely, Sincerely, so your photography, live in the moment, they'll capture it. Visit them at sincerely soyer.com.