Podathon For Recovery: Kat’s Road to Recovery

Rich & Wendy 0:00
Welcome to a special episode of Conversations with Rich Bennett. This is a part of our part of our 'Podathon for Recovery', 12 Days of Hope, our mission to raise money for Rage Against Addiction. My co-host Wendy Beckyni will be sharing powerful stories of addiction, recovery, and resilience to help break the stigma and show that hope is always possible. Your Your support helps Rage Against Addiction provide life change and resources and you can donate right now by visiting our Gofun Me link in the show news. We are so grateful you've joined us on this important journey. Now let's get into today's conversation. 

Rich Bennett 0:38
I am sitting here with my lovely co-host Wendy Beckyni again and we have another special guest which Wendy is going to introduce and, um, hear her story. Meanwhile, make their nations. 

Wendy Beck 0:52
Yes. Well, welcome Kat. If you want to introduce yourself, we can start there. 

Rich Bennett 0:57
You just did. 

Wendy Beck 0:58
Well. 

Kat 1:00
*laughs* 

Wendy Beck 1:01
Yeah, too many days together. 

Kat 1:04
I'm Kat. Hi, Cat Leonard Scott. 

Wendy Beck 1:06
Hi Kat. 

Rich Bennett 1:07
No, I'm sorry, it's uh- it's all in town. 

Wendy Beck 1:10
That's a natural 

Kat 1:11
instinct. 

Wendy Beck 1:12
And Cat and I have known each other for a while now. It's gosh, since the beginning of my journey with Rage, I think. 

Rich Bennett 1:19
Really? 

Wendy Beck 1:20
Yeah. 

Kat 1:20
Yeah. Because I was still- I had just moved back home. I was pregnant with Gregory. About to have Gregory. He's 

Wendy Beck 1:27
Okay. 

Kat 1:27
about to be eight. 

Wendy Beck 1:28
Oh, wow. Okay, yeah. So, and you, um, she was a model for the Rage Gear at one point. We like, you know, got her in my archives 

Kat 1:36
A 

Wendy Beck 1:36
of like, 

Kat 1:37
fancy. 

Wendy Beck 1:37
yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:38
Maybe that's why you look tonight. 

Wendy Beck 1:39
Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. We're audience, So 

Rich Bennett 1:42
so. 

Wendy Beck 1:42
that far. 

Um, maybe. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:46
Or maybe on Facebook page, 

Kat 1:48
um. 

Wendy Beck 1:48
Anyway, so yes, she has been, um, part of our community for a while and I- I'm going to honestly say that I do not know your recovery story, so that's why I reached out to you today to see if you will be willing to share for, um, National Recovery Month. 

Kat 2:02
Yeah, absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 2:03
Our journey together started with you, um, helping out with Rage. Um, I'm not really sure how we initially met, but I know that- 

Kat 2:11
Rachel. 

Wendy Beck 2:11
Yes, so I know that you are in recovery and you have two children now and you work in treatment, but that's pretty much all I know about your story. So 

Kat 2:20
Cool. 

Wendy Beck 2:21
I would love to hear it. 

Kat 2:22
I'll 

Wendy Beck 2:22
gap. 

Kat 2:22
fill in the 

Rich Bennett 2:24
I'm 

Kat 2:25
having me. Um, I always feel like I just introduced myself like this when I'm sharing my story, but I'm an addict named cat. Um, and I grew up here in Hartford County. My family moved here when I was just about three from New York and it was kind of strange. I like- I can see it now. From working the steps and working my recovery, that because I went from being around family all the time and like Sunday dinners at Graham Mom's house and going to daycare with a cousin and like just being around family to moving away, that I became very good at what, um, some of the recovery texts called being a chameleon and like blending in to fit in. I became very good at that like a young age. Um, even though like I know my parents were great, I come from like middle-class family. I guess I've right here in Bel Air. I'm a graduate of Bel Air High School. Um, And I just- I can definitely see that in myself. Like I don't think- I just never felt like I fit in. I went after people that I saw as being cool and tried to be like them fit in with them. Always seeking like approval from like a very very very young age. Um, so I don't know if that has anything to do with me becoming an addict, but I can say it still comes up as a behavior pattern in my life that I work on. Um, I growing up, I was very active in sports. Academics came very very easily to me. Um, I think that was kind of a detriment to myself later in life. Um, when I was in high school, I got away with a lot of things. Um, I think I first started experimenting with like alcohol and maybe weed and like seventh grade, eighth grade, but the summer before high school is probably where it rarely picked up. Um, I won't say the name of the summer camp, but I 

Rich Bennett 4:17
right. 

Kat 4:17
worked for a local summer camp as a counselor because I turned 14 that summer and they let you become a counselor at that time. Um, I had gone to the summer camp my whole life, but what I didn't realize was all the counselors were smoking 

Wendy Beck 4:32
weed 

Kat 4:33
and would drink on the weekends together. 

Rich Bennett 4:35
Wow, 

Kat 4:36
um, it became like more accessible to me, the 

Wendy Beck 4:40
summer before 

Kat 4:41
high school, and um, I just, I met a lot of older people, working with older people as counselors and things like that. And it just wasn't a good influence for me at the time. Going into high school, I had a very traumatic event happen to me. It was actually during the summer workouts for volleyball. I decided I always played basketball and softball growing up. I decided I was going to try volleyball to stay in 

Wendy Beck 5:09
shape for the basketball. It was 

Kat 5:10
suggested to me to try. 

And one of the football players attacked me outside the school. 

Rich Bennett 5:18
Jesus. 

Kat 5:19
And I didn't know what was going to happen at that point. I kind of just like shook it off. And I went back to 

Wendy Beck 5:25
Tagged 

Kat 5:25
practice. 

Wendy Beck 5:25
you and can I ask? Whoa, 

Kat 5:27
In a sexual nature. 

Rich Bennett 5:28
sexual 

Kat 5:28
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 5:28
nature. Okay. 

Kat 5:30
And that was my first sexual experience. So 

Wendy Beck 5:34
Sorry. 

Kat 5:34
that definitely like changed the trajectory of my life. And what I went back to practice. I kind of just I think my brain just like blocked it off. I 

Rich Bennett 5:42
Right. 

Kat 5:42
didn't process it at all. Definitely still good at dissociating today. But again, something I work on. And like I didn't process that and never told anyone until I'm at my sponsor. 

Rich Bennett 5:59
Wow. How many years later was that, 

Kat 6:03
if you don't mind me? 15. 

Wendy Beck 6:06
So there was never any kind of 

Rich Bennett 6:09
charges 

Kat 6:10
any charges or. 

Wendy Beck 6:10
or 

Kat 6:10
No. And um. This person I've never like addressed them about it. Like we've had random passing in high school and outside of high school. I've never like interacted with that 

Rich Bennett 6:24
Right. 

Kat 6:24
person on purpose again. But they've been around me before. 

Wendy Beck 6:28
Wow. 

Kat 6:28
Um. And unfortunately that person struggles with addiction today. And they've actually reached out for a couple of times. And I just give them numbers. Reach 

Wendy Beck 6:36
out to help from you. 

Kat 6:37
Oh, yeah. Because 

Wendy Beck 6:38
Oh, wow. 

Kat 6:39
they know that I'm in recovery. 

Rich Bennett 6:41
Wow. 

Kat 6:42
Um. But that like you never know where your help is going to come from. Um. to me as well. Reaching out to people I never thought I would either when I was in desperate 

Rich Bennett 6:51
Happened 

Kat 6:51
need. Um. But yeah, so that was like my start of like becoming an adult and definitely changed the trajectory of my life. Um. But I made that volleyball team. Um. I ended up like making all the teams in high school. Like I said, academics were really easy for me. Um. But I was like the the varsity athlete in the AP classes who was also a marching band nerd, like that fit in there somewhere. Um. I was very, very good at like I would be on the field for football and then run to the volleyball game. 

Rich Bennett 7:26
How in the hell were you able to do 

Kat 7:28
it? 

Rich Bennett 7:28
all of 

Kat 7:28
And it was all like chasing. I don't know if it was something like that I really wanted to do or just that I thought that I had to try to be the best at every. 

Rich Bennett 7:37
Right. 

Kat 7:37
Be good at everything. I don't know what that was or if I thought that having all these outside nice things, nobody would pay attention that I was sneaking out at night to go to like older kid parties. I 

Rich Bennett 7:50
Mm. 

Kat 7:50
was. Hanging out with the varsity athletes and going to other parties like all of those little clicks 

Rich Bennett 7:56
part. 

Kat 7:56
that I was a 

Rich Bennett 7:56
Yeah. 

Kat 7:56
For all these things, even the AP nerds and the marching band nerds like they got down and had their own drugs of choice and party. 

Right. And like it was strange. Like now I'm grateful for it because I have a very eclectic group of friends. 

Rich Bennett 8:12
But. 

Kat 8:14
That it was, I think it was a detriment that I was so good athletics and academically because nobody really saw what was going on underneath. 

Wendy Beck 8:23
Right. 

Rich Bennett 8:24
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 8:24
No red 

Kat 8:25
Right. Or like if I did get in trouble I was able to just kind of like mask it or 

Wendy Beck 8:29
flags. 

Kat 8:29
like how could it be that big of a deal when I'm doing all these. 

Wendy Beck 8:32
Right. Straight 

Kat 8:33
A student pop up. 

Rich Bennett 8:34
Wow. 

Kat 8:35
Um. Then my mom got really sick. My senior year of high school. She had some kind of gastric thing where she had a big surgery that came with a big recovery at home. So I was at the same time I injured my knee and basketball and I became introduced to opiates at 

Rich Bennett 8:53
Okay. 

Kat 8:54
that time. 

Rich Bennett 8:56
Yeah. 

Kat 8:57
was my junior year of high school actually that she got sick and I had that injury. But even that like it turned on like definitely the opiate receptors in my brain. 

Rich Bennett 9:09
I 

Kat 9:09
And I know that I chased it after that but it wasn't something that was super accessible to me so I don't think it became a big problem at that time. 

I definitely had access to alcohol. I had access to cooking every once in a while. So those things became a problem. 

And of course mixing those things with the opiate when I had them was 

Rich Bennett 9:29
idea. 

Kat 9:29
never a good 

Rich Bennett 9:29
Yeah. 

Kat 9:29
Ah, but that's what I did, you know, and the bottle says 'don't mix with alcohol' and 'addict things', that means it'll feel better if I do that. So that's what I did. 

Rich Bennett 9:36
Wow. 

Kat 9:57
Um, so I went to Harvard Community College, played basketball and softball there that paid for school. My last year there for the end of the softball season starts things with my alcohol use picked up. I got my first DUI, I wasn't even 21 yet, I was 20 years 

Wendy Beck 10:16
old. 

Kat 10:17
Everything started like spiraling from there, I think, I got put on academic probation at HCC. The judge gave me 20 days on my first DUI as a 20 year old, which was crazy to me. But she thought she was making, she was gonna scare me straight or something like that. All she did was introduce me to people that taught me how to be a better criminal and a better drug user, a better drinker. 

Rich Bennett 10:39
Right. 

Wendy Beck 10:40
Wow. 

Kat 10:42
What else are you teaching a 20 year old at that time by doing that? I don't understand. But that's what happened. And when I got out, I had to do like, uh, I think it was like a 12 week DUI class or something like that that was, I remember I was right behind the Jifiloubim Belair, and it was a joke, um, like they put on videos that you watched, like it wasn't actual therapy or anything like that. So I didn't learn anything. I wasn't ordered to go to meetings or anything like that. 

Rich Bennett 11:11
No community service or? 

Kat 11:12
No, that wasn't a part of it, I guess, because I served the. 

Rich Bennett 11:15
Did you 20 years? 

Kat 11:18
But so I didn't learn anything. I think I was able to kind of control my use for a little while after that. I met a guy. We became very involved. He was somewhat healthy in some aspects. Like he had a career. He kind of had his life together. He's a little older than me, but he was also a big drinker and his career. Like they have a bar at their office. So it's like 

Rich Bennett 11:39
Good 

Kat 11:39
just kind 

Rich Bennett 11:40
Lord. 

Kat 11:40
of like, yeah, it's, I don't know, a software company, I don't understand. But yes, that's that's just part of the culture. Sales and software sales and software. Yeah, but, 

Wendy Beck 11:51
Failed 

Kat 11:51
um, yeah. 

Wendy Beck 11:52
with that. 

Kat 11:53
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, um, but my, that's when, um, so I remember I was sitting at so like I said academic probation at HTC. I kind of got my stuff together and transferred to Cecil College to finish 

Rich Bennett 12:08
Yeah. 

Kat 12:08
up my AA degree decided on teaching went through all this things. And when I apply myself right, like I can apply 

Rich Bennett 12:15
Yeah, 

Kat 12:16
myself. 

Rich Bennett 12:16
yeah, 

Kat 12:16
like it was three semesters there, ended up getting some award at graduation for the education department, like all these things. Right. Um, but I remember sitting in class one day, I get a call 

Wendy Beck 12:27
my mom. 

Kat 12:27
My mom does not call. She's like a chronic texture where it's like a novel long text message. She doesn't call unless like it's really 

Rich Bennett 12:34
Right. 

Kat 12:34
important or something, right. Or like she's freaking out about something. And um, so she's calling me while she knows I'm in class. Immediately, my heart kind of drops a little bit. I answered a phone and she says that my dad fell in the shower. They don't know what's wrong, but he like lost feeling in his legs and that they're taking him to hospital. dad was a very big man. He's six foot seven so like to 

Rich Bennett 12:54
My 

Kat 12:55
hear that. Yeah, to hear that he just like dropped and the shower was very, very concerning to me. Um, he had had heart issues in the past but I was about it. That's the 

Wendy Beck 13:05
They had ran 

Kat 13:05
hospital. 

Wendy Beck 13:06
us 

Kat 13:07
and the doctor came in and told us that it was kidney cancer that was all up and down his spine already. And it was a tumor that was like constricting a spinal cord that caused the numbness. that like again totally changed my life. But he even though he was given like I forget how exactly how many months to live like we went through so many surgeries and stuff. He stayed with us for about two years. 

But anticipatory grief is also hard to deal with when like you know somebody's going to die like it's terminal but you're also taking every day for granted at the same time like you're super grateful for that. Like he was able to be there when I graduated Cecil College, I transferred colleges and when finished my bachelor's degree in behavioral science at Wilmington University. Again, I'm still like drinking with this guy and partying a little bit but like keep my stuff together right 

Rich Bennett 13:56
So 

Kat 13:56
like. and I'm present for my dad during all this. I'm helping him go to treatments like I'm taking him down. We didn't have the client center yet. So I was taking him down the University of Maryland for chemo treatments and radiation treatment. Yeah, put a lot of miles on my 95 Cherokee when he was sick. But this guy had asked me to marry him. He was very involved in my family. It all looked very healthy at this time. And we planned the wedding for November. My dad passed away September. 

got through the funeral and all that stuff. We knew it was coming eventually. We had the plans. It was kind of nice to have a nice fun event for my family. The wedding everybody had such a good time. 

Wendy Beck 14:46
I 

Kat 14:47
Yeah, everyone had such a good time because both sides of my family came together. It wasn't just my dad's side that came. My mom's side showed up when he was sick. 

Wendy Beck 14:56
Were they together? 

Kat 14:58
Yeah, my mom's side of the family showed up big 

Wendy Beck 15:01
time 

Kat 15:02
to have them all together at my wedding was a lot of fun. I think it was probably after that. I had a job still. I had kept my job. I was even in America. It was just ridiculous. But I kept my job. was working at the State Health Department like a contractual job. Something 

Rich Bennett 15:24
I 

Kat 15:24
administrative doing something like that. 

But I think after my dad passed away and after the wedding settled down, my disease got louder. 

I think everything started looking good. I became like what I call a trash can attic, whatever you had I wanted, whatever I had access to. That's why I just didn't want to feel the way that I felt. 

I don't even think I ever had a drug of choice to be honest with you. I used anything and everything. I just would try to make it through. My higher power always comes in the form of handcuffs, every single 

Wendy Beck 16:05
time. So 

Kat 16:06
I got in trouble again. I got in trouble a couple times actually because I never learned. The first time I went to treatment the first time, this was 2014. I went to treatment three times in a year. So I went the first time. I didn't think I had a problem. They let me do work release for one of my charges. So I can go to work and come back to the treatment center at night. Then I just trippy, I was using while I was working. They just didn't catch me. Then I screwed up again, got another charge, had to go back to treatment. 

Wendy Beck 16:40
The 

Kat 16:41
suggestion of a recovery house after that one, though, tried one of the recovery houses, but still wasn't ready, went back to treatment after relapse. And this is when the owner was someone in recovery and he's like, cat, why don't you get it together? I can't keep doing this for you. I don't even think he charged me for my last stay there. He just wanted me to get better. 

Rich Bennett 17:03
I 

Kat 17:06
was getting better. I was taking it seriously, but I was kind of fed up with myself and fed up with being within the same walls for 28 more days. I started breaking rules in the treatment center. 

Wendy Beck 17:18
Was that local? 

Kat 17:20
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 17:20
Okay, it's 

Kat 17:21
still around, but it's out in Carroll County now. So it's not like the same, it's not even the same owner. I don't think. But I broke all kinds of rules and the owner sat me down again. He's like, "Cat, I love you. I want to see you do better, but you can't do it here." And 

Wendy Beck 17:39
times you can't. 

Kat 17:40
Yes. So he politely kicked me out and he found me a bed in a sober living house in anapolis. And he told me that if I got there by that night, that he would still show up for me in court and like, help me out, like advocate for me. So again, I like took a suggestion. I was kind of forced into it, but I still like took this suggestion. Went to this recovery house. It was an interesting recovery house. I was introduced to the house manager and the drug dealer who lived next door because apparently he looked out for the girls. 

Rich Bennett 18:10
Wow. 

Kat 18:12
It was lovely though. It's just that neighborhood in anapolis. That's just how it was. And I recovered there, right? Like there wasn't even an open bed. So I slept on an air mattress for a couple weeks until there wasn't 

Wendy Beck 18:23
an open bed. 

Kat 18:23
Like this woman took me because she heard this girl can't get it together. 

Rich Bennett 18:27
Right. 

Kat 18:27
Maybe you can help her. So like this woman, her name is 

Wendy Beck 18:31
Amy. 

Kat 18:31
It's amazing. The sober house she went through. I remember when Rachel was talking about starting the houses with you guys. Like I told Rachel all about the way that angel does things for serenity, sister's in anapolis. 

Wendy Beck 18:43
Yes, and that they're very 

Kat 18:45
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 18:45
popular. 

Kat 18:46
it's a really good program. So that's where I went and I just I saw all these girls that The same didn't have licenses like made and of course like made and have jobs like me had Pending charges or had charges like mine like me all struggling, but they like had smiles on their faces and we're like having fun I was like what the heck is that 

Rich Bennett 19:06
right? 

Kat 19:07
I don't know how you're not doing that without like some kind of substance I just didn't understand how you could be in recovery and be 

Wendy Beck 19:13
that 

Kat 19:14
happy like 

Wendy Beck 19:15
In a 

Kat 19:15
recovery house with a bunch of 

Wendy Beck 19:17
in your marriage still at this time Okay, 

Kat 19:19
yes. Yep, I was served divorce papers though. Well, I was in treatment 

Wendy Beck 19:23
Okay, 

Rich Bennett 19:24
while you are in treatment. 

Kat 19:25
Oh, yeah, and and I deserved all that. I mean it was kind of a joke of a marriage That point. I was 23. I don't know. I think it was just like the the hard time I was going through I just like leaned on it and we went through it 

but like I don't regret any of it, but that's just what it was Amicable. We didn't have any property so like see you. Bye and Um 

Wendy Beck 19:46
Been there, 

Kat 19:50
where like my recovery journey really started right like I went to whatever meeting the the car that was taking us to Was going to I didn't care. Um, we get there early because the ride we get 

Wendy Beck 20:01
That's 

Kat 20:01
there early Stay late if we had to met tons of people Um, ended up getting a job at a local doctor's office I remember at one point paying more in ubers back and forth to work every week than I was in recovery house rent Wow 

Wendy Beck 20:15
Yeah, that's 

Kat 20:16
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 20:16
not uncommon 

Kat 20:17
Yes, 

Wendy Beck 20:17
that is a real thing 

Kat 20:19
like thank god The gas station by our house somehow let us use our food stamps by cigarettes Because that's the only way that I afforded things because that's how much I was paying in ubers and like everything else to be able to but that gave me a job and that gave me better health insurance and like all these things like I was really like trying to do what I was supposed to do um and 

then so yeah, I stayed there I became a house manager through that recovery house program I met wonderful women in that recovery house program some that are still a part of my life today Some that unfortunately we've buried together too. 

Rich Bennett 20:58
Yeah, 

Kat 20:59
Yeah, and um it's really cool that we have a 

Wendy Beck 21:02
But 

Kat 21:02
big Christmas party every year We're all like the alumni of the Superhouse other that program so I get to see some of them. We stay in touch like on Facebook and stuff like that too But it's definitely cool that like people like it really feels like a like a super sorority 

Rich Bennett 21:20
Yeah 

Kat 21:20
house or like fraternity house When you're doing it the 

Wendy Beck 21:22
way 

Kat 21:22
right 

Wendy Beck 21:23
Yeah, that's 

Kat 21:23
what it 

Rich Bennett 21:24
like 

Kat 21:24
feels 

Rich Bennett 21:25
Yeah, 

Kat 21:25
and it's supposed to be 

Wendy Beck 21:26
way 

Kat 21:26
that um, and I went through that live there for about 18 months 

Managing the house while working and a nine to five was really hard. It was like having two full-time jobs, but 

Wendy Beck 21:39
I 

Kat 21:39
that's why Like my phone would be blown 

Wendy Beck 21:42
luckily 

Kat 21:42
up but 

Wendy Beck 21:42
the doctors 

Kat 21:43
worked for new everything 

Rich Bennett 21:45
I 

Kat 21:45
I was I had to get very honest with them because at one point I had Yeah, one point. I had to go to court for one of my like Past charges 

Wendy Beck 21:53
do 

Kat 21:53
that I had to And I had to serve a week and like I had to talk to these 

Wendy Beck 21:59
doctors 

Kat 22:02
got and had to appeal the decision and get bailed 

Wendy Beck 22:06
Actually 

Kat 22:06
out like I'm lucky. I only served that week They wanted me to serve my backup time on that sentence Yeah, I was lucky it was actually an angel trainer that found Danny McGee to bail me out I didn't even know Danny at that point in time like I didn't know recovery in this community at that 

Wendy Beck 22:21
I 

Kat 22:21
time, but Don't even know if he knows that he did that but yeah and They they filed the appeal bond for me and got me out 

Wendy Beck 22:31
Okay, can I can I ask where they like charges like drug charges? 

Kat 22:35
It was another DUI 

Wendy Beck 22:36
DUI okay, 

Kat 22:37
yep and So like I was expecting something right but I was walking into court with like a little every years clean like I had My sponsor with me. I had the people from my treatment center with me. They still gave me my backup time. They didn't care Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 22:51
the back of time 

Kat 22:52
months 

Wendy Beck 22:53
18 

Kat 22:55
Yeah, so that was a big pill swallow 

but luckily I had, I had just, I stayed in contact with everybody, Angel helped my mom, my lawyer helped my mom, they figured it out, uhm, I guess, I'm my, my bed, nobody had been in my room, nobody touched anything when I got back, the girls were all waiting for me, like, I was the house manager and I was in jail, it was crazy. 

People, like, grew up probation all the time, but when you're 

Wendy Beck 23:32
doing the right thing, 

Kat 23:33
probation's really easy. 

Rich Bennett 23:33
Yeah. 

Kat 23:34
So I closed out those cases while I lived at French sisters, uhm, when I moved out I, I moved in with people that weren't in recovery, but were, recovery adjacent, like they supported me, 

Rich Bennett 23:45
Mmm-hmm. 

Kat 23:45
they were very involved with one of my, uhm, alumni from the program, it was one of their, like, childhood friends that I ended up moving in with, uh, 'cause I didn't know anyone really in the area except recovery people, which was kind of nice, leaving Hartford County to kind of go away and meet all new people for that part of my life was kind of nice. I, I obviously needed new influences in my life. Uhm, and, I mean, that with this person, that's where I met, uhm, met a guy, and, like, good addicts, 90 days later, we were pregnant, and, uhm, like, head over heels and love for each other, after 90 days, which is crazy. Uhm, but that's just what we do, uhm, uhm, we, we made it work, we, like, I kept, like I said, I was still working at that doctor's office. By the time, like, the end of my pregnancy got around, I celebrated two years at my home group in Annapolis and then I moved home. Uhm, moved here, his family was here, uhm, he had a connection to recovery down there, but his family was here. Uhm, so, I moved home, he moved in with me and my mom. 

Wendy Beck 24:50
Uhm, I'm here pregnant at this 

Kat 24:52
Yes, 

Wendy Beck 24:52
time. 

Kat 24:52
yup, I moved home and I had to, I'd never gone to meetings up here before, uhm, so I was expecting to go in and kinda be like a high school reunion or something. I wasn't sure what I was walking 

Wendy Beck 25:01
into. 

Kat 25:01
Right, I had no idea, uh, walking to meetings, and there were some high school reunion moments, but for the most part, they were also like, uhm, there was also like a lawyer I had seen before. And, like, people that I recognized from just like passing on the street, you know, 

Rich Bennett 25:17
Yeah. 

Kat 25:17
like all kinds of people. Uhm, and it was definitely interesting because I was like this pregnant, right, and this is their first time seeing me. I'm walking into a meeting and I think I'm just now getting clean when I'm this pregnant. 

Rich Bennett 25:29
Wow. 

Kat 25:29
I had some pretty judgmental eyes the first time when I was introducing myself. 

Wendy Beck 25:33
Why do you think they assume 

Kat 25:35
Because 

Wendy Beck 25:35
that? 

Kat 25:36
it was their first time seeing me. 

Wendy Beck 25:37
Okay. That's 

Kat 25:38
it, it was just like their initial thought. Like, who's this newcomer? Why is she just coming to a meeting now? Uhm, that, that was just their initial thought. Uhm, and so I walked through that, I had to like raise my hand and introduce myself and kinda tell my story at every single meeting for a while. And it was really annoying, but I said I was like new to the area, I forced myself to meet people. Uhm, I switched sponsors, I found someone that was a mom, uhm, cause my first sponsor wasn't a mom. I needed somebody who had that, uhm... 

Rich Bennett 26:06
Good idea. Yeah, 

Kat 26:07
and uhm, so, and I built a network out here. Uhm, I got a job out here after my son was born, uhm, just working at like a front desk at a treatment center and an outpatient treatment center. And worked my way up in that organization to, to running, uhm, as the best way to put it, is like their aftercare department. And uhm, I worked there for about seven years. Uhm, had another child. Uhm, my marriage definitely wasn't like unicorns and butterflies. Uhm, my ex had his struggles with addiction as well, like being in, in a relationship with someone in recovery. My sponsor told me right then in there, like you have to commit to what happens when they relapse or what happens when they disappear or whatever, you know. Uhm, what, what are you gonna have in place? What, like you always have to have some kind of backup plan or plan available to you. 

Wendy Beck 27:00
g- 

Kat 27:00
Especially 

Wendy Beck 27:00
Did 

Kat 27:00
if you're 

Wendy Beck 27:00
you? 

Kat 27:01
Kids with that 

Wendy Beck 27:01
A 

Kat 27:01
person. 

Wendy Beck 27:02
black 

Kat 27:02
and 

Wendy Beck 27:02
backup plan? 

Kat 27:03
luckily I did. Uhm, and I had like supports in place to like support me. Uhm, 

Wendy Beck 27:08
Uhm, 

Kat 27:09
through those times, and working in treatment able to get him in a treatment really quick was really nice. Uhm, and being able to do that for any of my friends is also very nice being so connected in the 

Wendy Beck 27:17
right. 

Kat 27:17
community now. Uhm, when someone's struggling anybody, I try to help them if I can. Like, drop my name. I don't know if it'll help, but go ahead, you know. 

Rich Bennett 27:25
Uhm, 

Kat 27:25
And uhm, 

Rich Bennett 27:27
Or 

Kat 27:27
I know so and so asked for them things like that. Uhm, anything to help somebody I will. But like, and just financial struggles, right? Like, uhm. I don't think I've lived, I was born in 1990, I don't know, I didn't, I haven't been an adult when we weren't in some form of a recession or heading towards one. So finances have always been really hard, uhm, like what I turned 18 and two, in, in, in, in '08. So, like I've been an adult since then, it's always been like, a financial struggle. Uhm, even with a two-income household, and, uhm, we were living with my mom, I still live with my mom. Thanks, Mom. I love you. Hen, but, uhm, I've worked at that treatment center, loved my job, uhm, I got to work with the coolest people. Uhm, this treatment center, like, sees homeless people through movie stars, like it was just so cool to work with, with just an incredible amount of people. And, from all walks of life, and uhm, but they had, like, restructuring of their organization, uhm, a couple years ago, my department was like, go, a bunch of people were like, go, uhm, I was able to find a new job in the field pretty quickly, uhm, but it was a big shift in my life, right, like, I carried the health insurance, I was always kind of the bread winner, quote, 

Wendy Beck 28:49
unquote. 

Kat 28:50
children. Uhm, and, like, I said, health insurance, I took care of daycare, like, all that 

Wendy Beck 28:54
Right, 

Kat 28:54
stuff, right, 

Wendy Beck 28:54
and you're a mom, you 

Kat 28:55
like, 

Wendy Beck 28:55
have two 

Kat 28:55
yeah, like, my kids, my old Gregory had a boundary exception for the school by this work, 

Wendy Beck 29:01
like, 

Kat 29:02
worked out all kinds of stuff to make my 

Wendy Beck 29:03
I 

Kat 29:03
life easier around this job. Uhm, but it was out of my control, it happened, uhm, was lucky to find a new job, but, uh, a few months after that, uhm, my marriage got even rocky. So, I, at the end of the year, uhm, my, except the time had alcohol around the house pretty frequently. Um, it was something I had to deal with on top of it was just a very, 

Wendy Beck 29:27
to your husband. 

Kat 29:28
Yes, 

Wendy Beck 29:28
yes. Strinking in the house. 

Kat 29:29
yes, 

Wendy Beck 29:30
Okay. 

Kat 29:30
And uhm, the dynamic in our marriage was there wasn't much I could do about it. Uhm, so, when a moment of weakness finally came for me, it was like before the thought even hit my brain to say no, the beer was already halfway down my throat. Oh, 

Rich Bennett 29:48
shit. 

Kat 29:48
because it was there around me, 

Rich Bennett 29:50
Yeah, 

Kat 29:50
you know, and even though I had all the recovery support in the world, the network in the world, like, it didn't matter. 

The way that, like, my life was set up right then the worst thing happened that nothing happened, right? Like nobody found out I didn't, nothing happened, like nothing happened to make me stop, you know. So, like, that's the worst thing 

Wendy Beck 30:12
until it did 

Kat 30:12
when you pick up, 

Wendy Beck 30:13
or you're 

Kat 30:13
right? 

Wendy Beck 30:13
gonna say 

Kat 30:13
That's, 

Wendy Beck 30:14
that's got a where 

Kat 30:14
that's 

Wendy Beck 30:14
we're headed 

Kat 30:15
exactly, that's the worst thing that can happen, right? It's like you pick up once after having, I had eight years cleaned. After having that much clean time and picking up and nothing happened afterwards, like there was no like immediate, my brain didn't feel different. I bought, like, you know what I mean? Like there was nothing, nothing happened where negative or that I felt like my mental wellbeing had changed. I don't know. It was just nothing happened. And so when the opportunity arose again, it happened 

Wendy Beck 30:44
again. 

Kat 30:45
And luckily the relapse was very short relapses if you truly like are not like they get worse and shorter, like that's just the pattern that 

Rich Bennett 30:55
have, 

Kat 30:56
everyone's gonna 

Rich Bennett 30:56
right? 

Kat 30:58
And my higher power came to me in the forms of handcuffs again. 

Wendy Beck 31:02
Oh wow. 

Rich Bennett 31:03
Another DUI. 

Kat 31:04
Yup. 

Rich Bennett 31:05
Wow. 

Kat 31:05
And luckily this was a, so it was unavoidable accident. It was not my fault. Luckily the alcohol in my system had nothing to do with it like the cops say so my charging 

Rich Bennett 31:16
Right. 

Kat 31:16
documents. Like, I know that's not in my head. Um, I 

Wendy Beck 31:20
but 

Kat 31:20
was, 

Wendy Beck 31:20
you were drinking. So 

Kat 31:21
I had drank earlier and 

Wendy Beck 31:22
were you charged with the DUI? Okay. 

Kat 31:24
Because there was a restriction on my license from previous where no alcohol can be in my system. So it didn't matter what my BAC was, I was getting something. I was going to get a DUI regardless. So even though I had drank earlier in the day, I was making a left hand turn with my children in the car and someone hit us. And luckily I was able to get the like nobody was hurt. Everything was fine. I said, luckily, like, I wasn't the cause of the accident, right? Like it was just, it was an 

Rich Bennett 31:55
car 

Kat 31:55
accident. But if it hadn't have happened, if I hadn't of failed whatever sobriety test they gave me because I can tell you like for me like shock, I don't remember any of that. 

Wendy Beck 32:06
You were that intoxicated that you didn't 

Kat 32:08
No, my BIC was actually pretty 

Wendy Beck 32:09
remember? 

Kat 32:09
low. I 

Wendy Beck 32:09
Oh, 

Kat 32:10
think it was shocked that I don't, I 

Rich Bennett 32:12
yeah. 

Kat 32:12
don't remember that part. 

Rich Bennett 32:14
Yeah, especially since you had the kids in the car too your main focus is 

Kat 32:18
Like I can remember being waiting for the police and the ambulance with one of the other women that was involved like she I helped her with her kids, she had snacks, we sat there, we like waited like there was like I was fine, right? 

Rich Bennett 32:31
Yeah. 

Kat 32:31
We're fine, so we're just like waiting to figure out tow trucks and insurance and all that stuff, but because they ran my history and whatever they just, um, didn't they were right and they got lucky. They charged me with the DUI, 

Wendy Beck 32:45
Can I ask you a question? 

Kat 32:46
sure. 

Wendy Beck 32:47
So can we consider this a blessing? 

Kat 32:49
Oh yeah, 

Wendy Beck 32:50
Yeah, 

Kat 32:51
absolutely. 

Wendy Beck 32:51
because, well, 

Kat 32:52
that's where I was going with 

Wendy Beck 32:52
Yeah, 

Kat 32:52
it. 

Wendy Beck 32:53
okay. 

Rich Bennett 32:55
Actually, if you don't 

Wendy Beck 32:56
mind, because of 

Rich Bennett 32:56
that, you said they put the handcuffs on you. 

Kat 32:58
Mm-hmm, and my son saw that, 

Rich Bennett 33:01
Now, at the time you were living with your mother 

Kat 33:04
yep. 

Rich Bennett 33:04
still, so at least the kids could go, went back to your mother, 

Kat 33:06
Yep, and my 

Rich Bennett 33:08
okay? 

Kat 33:08
husband at the time, my husband came and picked them up, he took them 

Rich Bennett 33:12
Okay. 

Kat 33:13
in. And I said, I, what immediately got known, I a p I called my lawyer and I was like the same lawyer from before and like he knew me as eight years in recovery too. So like having to go through all of that with him was even like, he was a friend at this point, right? Like he he would share with his new clients my story as 

Wendy Beck 33:34
yeah, 

Kat 33:34
someone like you can get your shit together, you know, you can get your stuff together. Sorry. Um, 

Rich Bennett 33:39
oh, you're fine. 

Wendy Beck 33:40
Shit, you 

Kat 33:40
Okay, 

Wendy Beck 33:40
can get your shit 

Kat 33:41
all 

Wendy Beck 33:41
together. 

Kat 33:41
right, cool. And, um, then I had to like, like, own up to him too and of course, show up more money and all this stuff go through the process again. But I went through it, um, got 

Wendy Beck 33:53
and 

Kat 33:53
into a local, IOP, um, that I had never been affiliated with, um, 

Rich Bennett 33:58
what's IOP? 

Kat 33:59
Um, intensive outpatient. So it's three to four times a week, three hours a session, you, most places you have to leave your analysis once or twice a week, see in a doctor, stuff like that, um, but you're able to work at the same time, 

Rich Bennett 34:14
right? 

Kat 34:15
So I did that and it's usually it's longer than 28 days, too. So it holds you accountable for typically 12 to 26 weeks depending on the severity of 

Rich Bennett 34:23
Yeah. 

Kat 34:24
your 

Rich Bennett 34:24
Oh, wow. 

Kat 34:24
situation. Yeah. Um, and you can also drop down to like lower intensity outpatient and still like I still am affiliated with this provider today, even though I don't go to group, I see their, um, They're counselor and their psychiatrist, they manage my meds. I still leave your analysis there every week, like they're part of my recovery. Still, which is 

Rich Bennett 34:43
right. 

Kat 34:43
really cool. So I'm still in treatment with these people almost two years later. Um, and I did all of that. I, I did not tell my job at the time. I knew I was going to eventually go to jail. Like when I figured, I just knew that was going to happen because of my record, even though it had been like 10 years since I had been in trouble, I figured something was going to happen. So I just not spiritual, but I collected the paychecks until I couldn't. And I went 

Wendy Beck 35:10
to court. 

Kat 35:11
I faced the music and drug carry like he had the kind of the same reaction as my lawyer did when I told him was, um, I didn't think that people after eight years this would happen. Judge Kerry at the end of his sentence saying you told me like you're still teaching me something like I know now like this really is a one day at a time. 

Rich Bennett 35:30
Yeah. 

Kat 35:31
Um, but because of who I was in the recovery community and because of my record and what it happened, um, I was sentenced to nine months. 

Wendy Beck 35:40
Wow. 

Kat 35:42
I served five and a half on those nine months, um, not seeing my 

Wendy Beck 35:45
kids 

Kat 35:47
five and a half months is really, really hard. Um, 

Wendy Beck 35:49
I 

Kat 35:50
was lucky that, um, for positive reasons. I knew people in the jail because during my eight years in recovery, I had helped out with the female substance abuse unit volunteering. Meeting and meetings. 

Wendy Beck 36:05
How did that feel? Like how 

Kat 36:07
ooh talk about humbling, walking in and, uh, I've known the warden since I was two years, three years old since I moved here. I've known I've known hard for county ordinances. I was three years old. It was a very humbling experience to say the least. Um, 

Rich Bennett 36:22
did, 

Wendy Beck 36:23
did you know the since you three, I mean, 

Kat 36:26
and how I'm still friends with his daughter today. 

Wendy Beck 36:29
Oh, wow. 

Kat 36:30
Yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lifelong 

Wendy Beck 36:34
friendship, 

Kat 36:34
daughter and, um, and like he had that conversation with me at like at one point, um, during my stay like, Like, are you okay? Basically just like asking me. I 

Rich Bennett 36:45
yeah. 

Kat 36:45
was like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to be fine. Um, Because he also didn't like, Nomi as an adult, I guess. Like I hadn't been to his house for like a pool party or whatever since like middle 

Rich Bennett 36:54
right. 

Kat 36:54
school, maybe. 

Wendy Beck 36:55
Right. 

Kat 36:55
Um, but yeah. You know, it's a childhood friend's parent and, um, definitely a humbling experience. And, uh, Knowing some of the the CEOs from, um, just working in there and being 

Wendy Beck 37:10
the CEO. 

Kat 37:11
A correctional officer. 

Wendy Beck 37:12
Oh, okay. 

Kat 37:13
Like, the one that would work every Sunday night when I was going into bringing in an A meeting, they knew my face right away or like what the heck are you doing here, you know. Um, but in the there I went to every program I could, every meeting I could, every church service I could. 

Wendy Beck 37:31
Now, where your kids, your motivation at this point, 

Kat 37:34
Oh, absolutely, 

Wendy Beck 37:35
yeah. 

Kat 37:35
because I, I knew that I was going to be the sole caretaker when I got out. 

Rich Bennett 37:41
know, 

Kat 37:41
You 

Rich Bennett 37:42
how, 

Wendy Beck 37:43
uh, 

Kat 37:45
two and six. Yeah. My daughter was still breastfeeding when I went to cheer. 

It was 

Rich Bennett 37:57
hard. How, that, 

Kat 37:59
hard. And she did not recognize me when I came in. 

Wendy Beck 38:02
Oh. 

Rich Bennett 38:03
Or even it, too. That had to be a shock to her as well because 

Kat 38:09
we've done a lot of work since I came 

Rich Bennett 38:10
in. All right, okay. 

Kat 38:14
But while I was in there, like I said, I did every program. Um, I don't care what anyone tells you you can, there's plenty of access to drugs and alcohol and jail. like they try their hardest to keep it out of there, but it's always going to be there. 

Rich Bennett 38:24
Right, 

Kat 38:27
Like, people just even abusing their medications. You know, like, people are always going to, an addict is going to find a way, no matter where they are, even behind bars, they're going to find a way. And, um, so like that's in my face every day. Like, the girls even made a huge Christmas wine at one point. So like, even alcohols in my face, but like, you can choose to say no. Right. Like, even when it's in your face, and like, that was, um, really good practice for me. Right. And I was going to meetings, even though like, sometimes there was the same speaker every single week, I still went here in the same story every but sometimes they only had like one or two inmates showing up for the 

Rich Bennett 39:04
week, 

Kat 39:04
meeting. So I was always just going to show up so that the people kept the volunteers wanted to keep coming in. 

Wendy Beck 39:09
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 39:09
Sometimes it helps to hear that story 

Kat 39:11
over. 

Rich Bennett 39:11
over and 

Kat 39:12
Yeah. Yeah. And just to have like a break from the toxicity that's going on in the, You know, to have a break, be in a different room, usually looking kind of like this, 

Rich Bennett 39:21
yeah. 

Kat 39:22
you know, and just talking to another addict like it was just worth it, um, like when the counselor there offered to meet with me one on one. I was like, yes. I'll do that. There was a trauma They 

Wendy Beck 39:33
program. 

Kat 39:33
brought in. I signed up for that. Like, I did. There was a lot of programs this year around that we're not there the other times that I've been there. Um, and I completed all of those things. I sent all of this completion letters to Judge Kerry. Um, like, every time I got one, I'd be like 

Wendy Beck 39:49
doing 

Kat 39:50
what I'm supposed to be doing. I ended up getting like an extra good day. Like you get good time based on what you do there and how long you're there. So I ended up getting an extra good day at the very end of like my it was supposed to be about five and a half months. But minus one more day for something I did. I didn't tell anybody. I told my friends and ask them to come get me. Um, friends that had helped me sign my kids up for Medicaid. While I was in there, um, friends that like helped put money on my books. Like good positive. 

Rich Bennett 40:18
Yeah. 

Kat 40:19
Um, I asked them to come get me and because I knew that things at home were not good. Um, 

Wendy Beck 40:25
so your ex is your now access living still with your mother and. 

Kat 40:29
yep. 

Wendy Beck 40:30
Oh, 

Kat 40:30
Yup. Yep. 

Wendy Beck 40:30
Yeah. And he was drinking. 

Kat 40:33
Among a lot of other 

Wendy Beck 40:34
Okay. 

Kat 40:34
issues. Um, 

Wendy Beck 40:35
how did your mom deal with that? 

Kat 40:37
She struggled a lot. 

Wendy Beck 40:38
Oh, I'm sorry. 

Kat 40:39
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 40:39
Yeah. 

Kat 40:40
She's a saint. Um. When I came in, I kind of wanted it to be a surprise because I didn't want anyone to be able to plan for it or anything like that. I wanted 

Rich Bennett 40:50
Right. 

Kat 40:50
to see what was really happening in my 

Wendy Beck 40:52
Gotcha. 

Kat 40:52
house. So I showed up a day early and luckily I was just my mom there. So I got to surprise her. Um, but cans, bottles, paraphernalia, all over my room. Like 

Rich Bennett 41:03
cheese. Kid's 

Kat 41:06
room to putting them to 

Rich Bennett 41:07
sleep, 

Kat 41:08
falling asleep there. It would just be there. Um, terrible. And 

Wendy Beck 41:13
another. 

Kat 41:14
Close like a lot of stuff. 

Wendy Beck 41:15
Um, 

Kat 41:16
so I was able to 

Wendy Beck 41:18
your 

Kat 41:18
get 

Wendy Beck 41:18
poor 

Kat 41:18
through 

Wendy Beck 41:19
mother and your kids. 

Kat 41:20
I was able to get through that. Um, it's able to. We needed a protective order. I got that. I've found for divorce. And since then it's been an ongoing journey, but like that summer because luckily I came in March the end of March. Um, this all happened. So it's the end of baseball season school going into summer. Luckily, I was able to be present for that. Um, so I was present for the beginning of the school year and the end of the school year. Like 

Wendy Beck 41:52
I felt like 

Kat 41:53
I at least had some kind of closure for my. 

Rich Bennett 41:54
Right. 

Kat 41:55
Little and I got my son into therapy. Um, luckily there was a therapist working with his inside his school, like an outside therapist that would come to his school. Got him into therapy. Um, I stayed 

Wendy Beck 42:08
pool. 

Kat 42:08
at the 

That's fine. Um, Gregory was, was happy about, like, surprised, you know, and, um, and I think he knew that some people wouldn't be happy about it, because he was like timid, but he came to me like the kid slept with me that night. Like, she did warm up to me eventually. 

Wendy Beck 42:36
Well, 

Kat 42:36
But it's hard, it was. 

Wendy Beck 42:37
I can't, I can't even, 

Rich Bennett 42:39
it 

Kat 42:39
was really, 

Wendy Beck 42:40
hard. 

Kat 42:40
really 

Wendy Beck 42:41
Um, 

Kat 42:42
and I'm very grateful for like a daycare provider that's a friend now. I've known her for eight years with Gregory and just a supportive 

Wendy Beck 42:50
family 

Kat 42:51
family. Uh, 

Wendy Beck 42:52
did you elect for them not to visit you there? 

Rich Bennett 42:54
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 42:55
Okay. 

Kat 42:55
Uh, that was my decision. I didn't want either of them to have that as a core memory. 

Wendy Beck 43:00
Okay. 

Kat 43:00
All. 

Wendy Beck 43:01
Uh, 

Rich Bennett 43:01
it's bad enough. They saw you taking away in handcuffs. 

Kat 43:04
yes, 

Rich Bennett 43:04
And you don't want. Yeah, I couldn't understand that. 

Kat 43:06
Yep. Um, they thought I was a way for work for a little while because that wasn't out of the normal, um, but of course when I came home initially, there was a big fight. And that came out during that fight. So my son found out that way, which was awful. Um, but I guess it's so much better now. Right. Like going from that to spending all summer with them, getting him into therapy, getting myself plugged back into that 

Rich Bennett 43:33
Yeah, 

Kat 43:33
IOP program, right? Like I had already completed IOP before I was my dissentencing. So I was done with IOP, went to jail, got out and I was in what they turned outpatient OP once a week. So I'm still seeing a counselor. I'm still doing drug screens, all that stuff. I'm going to meetings because I love meetings. I still have the same sponsor. 

I go through that summer and just allow myself to kind of rest. My could feel that like my body 

Rich Bennett 44:00
was tired, mm 

Kat 44:00
hmm. Um, my body was really tired. 

Wendy Beck 44:03
I bet it was. 

Kat 44:04
Um, like really tired after all of that. And um, I had the opportunity to like, I didn't have to rush out like I took my daughter to daycare in the morning. Then I would go and hang out with my son at the pool. I got my daughter. Like we just had an easy summer. You know, 

Rich Bennett 44:19
yeah. 

Kat 44:20
spent time with friends. Um, and then the opportunity arose with a friend in recovery, opening a residential treatment center for men locally here that they needed. Um, it was a part-time position to do It would be a director of operations because he didn't have the capacity at the time for me 

Wendy Beck 44:39
We 

Kat 44:39
to be full time. 

Rich Bennett 44:40
Right. 

Kat 44:41
Um, but you needed someone to be director of operations for a small 15 bed, men's long term, they stayed anywhere from six months to a year, depending on what kind of coverage we can get. It's all all Medicaid covered. And this is someone who's got over a decade in recovery, um, also a very 

Wendy Beck 45:00
covered 

Kat 45:01
close friend, um, mutual friends as well. And, um, when and you took a shot on me, right, like he knew that I just had a year clean at the time again. You hired me. 

Working in treatment again. I wasn't sure what that was going to look like. 

Rich Bennett 45:16
Right. 

Kat 45:17
Really, but I knew that this was such a much more slow pace because it wasn't 28 days, right. I didn't have to convince somebody figure out where they were going, figure all that out in four weeks. That's crazy. I have these. To a year. I can really help them. Um, I'm bringing in help and bringing meetings, um, help and make sure that they have connected the right doctors, therapists, getting a resume is like all that stuff. 

Wendy Beck 45:43
Hope in these 

Kat 45:43
guys. Um, and then also like the behind the scenes, like paperwork and all that you have to get certified, just like any treatment provider, hospital. As we have, um, we have a compliance boards that we need to keep up with. Like that that's part 

Wendy Beck 45:59
job. It's 

Kat 45:59
of 

Wendy Beck 45:59
a 

Kat 45:59
my 

Wendy Beck 46:00
lot I'm not in yeah. 

Kat 46:01
Yeah, that's part of my job as well. Um, and it's been such a blessing, right. Like I work to 12 hours shifts. So it's part time. Um, and like I'm now that we're getting ready to 

Wendy Beck 46:12
up 

Kat 46:12
open 

Wendy Beck 46:12
another one. 

Kat 46:13
I'm helping out right now with some extra hours to, um, but I am able to be present for my kids like my mom does. I'm able to drop them off in the morning. My mom picks them up those days or my ex's parents, uh, family picks them up those days. Um, I'm able to do drop off some pickups the other days, be present for summer, uh, make their doctor's appointments those days. Like things that 

Rich Bennett 46:36
Like 

Kat 46:36
I would have had to take off work for otherwise. ju s to do that, you know, so like, I even have evenings that are free that I don't have to work, which really help, um, being able to be present to do stuff like that. Um, um, I'm coming up on, on two years, clean again, uh, gone through this whole divorce process. We are officially divorced now. Um, 

Wendy Beck 47:14
do the kids have a relationship with him? 

Kat 47:15
They do, but it's, it's strained and it's hard, um, because he's 

Rich Bennett 47:21
not 

Kat 47:22
going to commit himself to a life of recovery. 

Rich Bennett 47:25
Right. 

Kat 47:25
There's a lot of struggles that come along with that, you know, like, we're working with, like, making sure visitations happen, but they have to happen, whoever the judge 

Rich Bennett 47:33
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 47:33
to 

Rich Bennett 47:33
Yeah. 

Kat 47:33
says they have 

Wendy Beck 47:34
happen. 

Kat 47:35
Um, we put, like, accountability stuff in place for sobriety and we're, we're all trying, but 

Wendy Beck 47:41
it's strained, drained. Okay. 

Rich Bennett 47:43
Hmm. 

Wendy Beck 47:44
What is this, this recovery looked like versus the eight years? What's changed in you? Like, how are, how are you a different person? 

Kat 47:52
Um, I'm a different person where I think I truly believe that I had to go through that relapse and going to jail like find myself again. 

Rich Bennett 48:06
to 

Kat 48:06
Because I don't think I just told you I've been a chameleon since I was three. I didn't know who I 

Wendy Beck 48:12
was. So I found 

Kat 48:14
Um, I was literally stripped away of everything, like, literally, or stripped whenever they want to in there. 

Wendy Beck 48:19
myself. 

Kat 48:21
And I was forced to lose like, like, level on us with everyone around me and just changed literally everything. And, um, when I came out, I had to rely on other people. Like, I couldn't do it myself. Right. Like, I'm going to be okay. I had to figure out how to be, okay, for myself, and I worked with a therapist. Um, and I still work with her and our soul focus has always been safety. 

Wendy Beck 48:46
Yeah. For you and the kids. 

Kat 48:48
And it's, I never knew that it was so important. Like it seems like such a simple thing. 

Rich Bennett 48:53
Yup. 

Kat 48:54
But it, 

Wendy Beck 48:54
like, kind of 

Kat 48:55
you 

Wendy Beck 48:56
kind of drill down on that. 

Kat 48:57
So we're in, we live in Hartford County, which is for the most part a safe place. You know, 

Wendy Beck 49:02
Right. 

Kat 49:03
you can walk on Main Street holding your kids hand, not being like scared. Somebody is going to come 

Rich Bennett 49:07
Right. 

Kat 49:07
grab your pocketbook or whatever, 

Rich Bennett 49:09
right? We're grab your kid. 

Kat 49:11
in 

Rich Bennett 49:11
We 

Kat 49:12
a relatively safe place. So we don't really think of safety as a basic need to be met in our day to day life. We just don't. Um, it's like an assumed thing that we had, like a well adjusted person has anyways. Well, adjusted person has a 

Wendy Beck 49:28
live 

Kat 49:28
sense of safety in their life. They know that they've got food in the fridge and money in the savings account. Whatever. When you have all of that taken from you and you're putting 

Wendy Beck 49:39
all 

Kat 49:39
your money is literally taken from you that your it's so bad. But everything is taken from you. You don't feel safe anymore when you have to live around another person's personality and behaviors. feel that 

Wendy Beck 49:54
You 

Kat 49:54
in feed your feeling of safety, like you don't know that you're doing things. Like my son telling me that he used to want daddy to sleep in his room with him so that he knew his dad was OK. 

Rich Bennett 50:07
God. 

Kat 50:07
You know what I mean? Like that he doesn't feel safe and neither did I. So we had to we had we're working on that. That's what me and my therapist and me and my sponsor focus on is like I had to find a way to feel safe within 

Wendy Beck 50:22
myself. 

Kat 50:23
And like I focus a lot more of myself this go around. Like it's impossible. I don't think the word balance is BS. I think it's a fairy tale. I think if you say you're chasing balance. That's an unattainable goal. You're never going to get right. But I don't want to ever be too out of balance. Like that's my focus. Like I make sure that 

Wendy Beck 50:45
Your 

Kat 50:45
I go. 

Wendy Beck 50:45
highs are not too high and your lows aren't too low. 

Kat 50:48
Yes. 

Wendy Beck 50:48
Yeah. 

Kat 50:48
I take care of myself so I could take care of my kids. So I can take care of the clients at my job. I can be show up for my responsibilities and show up for my blessings. You know. 

And like I don't know. I'm never going to get rich working in treatment for the right reasons. That's never going to happen. 

Rich Bennett 51:09
You get rich 

Kat 51:09
hopefully. 

Rich Bennett 51:10
right here in the 

Kat 51:10
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 51:10
heart, 

Kat 51:11
Exactly. Exactly. But you know what I mean? I don't care if I'm ever financially safe in life, right? I'm safe now. I'm safe. I'm happy. My kids are safe and happy. My mom's safe and happy. My recovery community is safe and happy. Even when we're not like there was a really recent tragic loss in our recovery community, just awful. And people are able to step up and help and support. And like, if that person wasn't in recovery, what would their support look? 

Wendy Beck 51:39
You are absolutely 

Kat 51:41
You know 

Wendy Beck 51:41
correct. 

Kat 51:41
what I mean? If that person wasn't in recovery, like that person probably wouldn't be here right now. 

Wendy Beck 51:47
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's important that you say that because I always say it rich knows this. It's like what I've seen with my experiences being involved in the recovery community not as someone in recovery, but 

Kat 51:57
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 51:57
someone who is involved in helping, you know, make of these pieces like connect. I have never seen connections so deep as they run in the recovery community. And it's amazing. 

Kat 52:09
It really, 

Wendy Beck 52:10
really. It really is. Like, you guys are very fortunate in that in that way. 

Kat 52:14
We are. And we have a program that literally all you have to do is take 12 steps and you better yourself in your life. Like, you could apply the 12 steps to 

Wendy Beck 52:23
Yes. 

Kat 52:23
anything. So I called like normal people not addicted people muggles. 

Wendy Beck 52:27
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love I'm a muggle, but yes. 

Kat 52:30
You live in the same world. 

Wendy Beck 52:31
So 

Kat 52:31
You 

Wendy Beck 52:31
what's 

Kat 52:31
just 

Wendy Beck 52:31
her? 

Kat 52:32
don't 

Wendy Beck 52:32
right? 

Kat 52:32
get it 

Rich Bennett 52:32
Yeah. 

Kat 52:33
You live in the same world. You just don't get it. So like um like I wish I could give this like feeling to everybody to 

Rich Bennett 52:42
Yeah. 

Kat 52:43
other addicts and to muggles. 

Wendy Beck 52:44
Well, we all 

Kat 52:45
You 

Wendy Beck 52:45
we all are 

Kat 52:45
can work the 

Wendy Beck 52:46
from 

Kat 52:46
12 

Wendy Beck 52:46
something. 

Kat 52:46
steps right 

Wendy Beck 52:47
absolutely. 

Kat 52:48
on the 

Wendy Beck 52:49
Yeah. Steps 

Kat 52:49
pack of cigarettes on the K&D, whatever. 

Rich Bennett 52:52
Any 

Wendy Beck 52:52
loss. 

Kat 52:52
On any behavior, 

Wendy Beck 52:54
Yeah. 

Kat 52:54
any 

Rich Bennett 52:54
Yeah. 

Kat 52:55
behavior. You can apply to any single behavior. Um, but we're lucky that we have a community behind it too. Um, that's what I focused on today. I'm super lucky to have my job. Like I have my kids. Um, my family is, like super, so my friends. Um, really, really blessed. Absolutely. Um, Like I know that I'm never, really, as I'm never going to be like financially safe for rich, like my mom will be fine. If me and the kids are living there forever, you know, and 

Rich Bennett 53:26
yeah. 

Kat 53:26
like in this day and age, we probably will be. I don't think it's 

Wendy Beck 53:29
And 

Kat 53:29
fine. 

Wendy Beck 53:30
there's nothing wrong with the 

Kat 53:30
bowl for me to ever in my arm, but whatever. It's fine. Um, she's 

Wendy Beck 53:34
Have her say 

Kat 53:35
happy. 

Wendy Beck 53:35
never. 

Kat 53:35
So am I. And, um, like we're happy. And that's all that matters. So that's 

Wendy Beck 53:41
You're doing it. You're doing what you 

Kat 53:42
really. 

Wendy Beck 53:42
need to do. 

Kat 53:43
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 53:43
And I, I want to, you know, commend you. Um, in a couple of ways that you have enough education. And you have enough knowledge that you understand the importance of getting therapy for your children. It's 

Kat 53:58
important 

Wendy Beck 53:59
to be able to have a good future. 

Kat 53:59
for them 

Wendy Beck 53:59
I think it's important for them to be able to have those experiences, because I don't think people realize that these events that are happening to our kids through their parents, not through any malicious, you know, 

Kat 54:08
And 

Wendy Beck 54:08
act, 

Kat 54:08
you even have to be a 

Wendy Beck 54:09
no, 

Kat 54:09
big thing like mommy, 

Rich Bennett 54:10
no. 

Kat 54:10
or daddy, 

Wendy Beck 54:11
Yeah, but, but it's 

Kat 54:12
addiction. 

Wendy Beck 54:13
this 

Kat 54:13
Something 

Wendy Beck 54:14
trauma. 

Kat 54:14
that feels like a huge deal to this child might not seem 

Rich Bennett 54:17
a 

Kat 54:17
like 

Rich Bennett 54:17
little argument 

Kat 54:18
thing, or like up, we couldn't afford the vacation. We were planning on like then the kids starts to think what's the 

Wendy Beck 54:24
trouble. 

Kat 54:24
financial 

Wendy Beck 54:25
Right. What is 

Kat 54:25
think it's 

Wendy Beck 54:26
happy. I 

Kat 54:26
them. All those things that like we're just not equipped to parent coping skill. You know what I mean? Like you have to 

Wendy Beck 54:32
model 

Kat 54:33
really If 

Wendy Beck 54:33
those. 

Kat 54:33
you don't have them for yourself. 

Wendy Beck 54:35
And a lot of people don't. And we talked to someone the other day and something that she said, I keep thinking just kind of keeps playing a tape in my head. The worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you. And I was like kind of like, yeah, because you have, you know, the affluent people that maybe their kids never wanted for anything. But like you just said, you're not going on vacation. Like the rest of your soccer team is. 

Kat 55:00
It's right. 

Wendy Beck 55:00
And now you're traumatized. 

Kat 55:02
Right. It's 

Wendy Beck 55:02
And everyone's kind of like, get over 

Kat 55:04
the 

Wendy Beck 55:04
it. 

Kat 55:05
right. 

Wendy Beck 55:05
But that's the worst thing that had ever happened to them. 

Kat 55:08
Exactly. 

Wendy Beck 55:08
So when you compare some of these things that are horrific 

Kat 55:12
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 55:12
to some things that you think, Oh, please, and I'm not trying to 

Kat 55:15
know, like 

Wendy Beck 55:15
say that 

Kat 55:16
no 

Wendy Beck 55:16
You 

Kat 55:16
trauma is just a 

Wendy Beck 55:17
fluid word. Yes. 

Kat 55:19
fluid, 

Wendy Beck 55:20
Yes. 

Kat 55:20
Yes. It's what like your pain threshold. 

Wendy Beck 55:22
Yeah. 

Kat 55:23
And as for a child, you don't have a pain threshold, you know, so anything could be dramatic. Let alone like what my kids have gone through and what other kids. That's why I love that rage has like their kids programs and things too. And that like things for kids are becoming more available programs for parents and kids are becoming. We've got moms and kids programs around here. So Rennady sisters, I was a part of has two dads and kids houses now. Like there's a lot going 

Wendy Beck 55:47
on 

Kat 55:48
watching guys that I work with every day like the come present. 

Wendy Beck 55:51
and mothers 

Kat 55:51
and mothers again become employed again, you know, like it's really cool. 

Wendy Beck 55:55
It is. And I think that the tide is changing. 

Kat 55:58
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 55:58
It's slow, but it's happening. And it's the first time that people are actually paying attention. 

Kat 56:04
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 56:06
So what's your question for her? 

Rich Bennett 56:07
My biggest question is because I mean, you've been through a lot, but I'm also thinking of everything that you went through as your father and the kids. But the person that was there the whole time, all these times, 

Wendy Beck 56:23
mother. 

Rich Bennett 56:23
your lot. 

Kat 56:23
She's 

Rich Bennett 56:24
How is she actually doing right now? 

Kat 56:26
doing a Even though I sometimes you, you can lead a horse to water. Like her generation isn't going to talk to a therapist. I tried. But she's got friends that have gone through not the same hardships, 

Wendy Beck 56:44
but 

Kat 56:45
hardships. Most parents of every generation now have dealt with a kid or a friend's kid who's battled with drugs or alcohol in some capacity. So she's got some people in her life. She's definitely healthier now during COVID. Like when I was in recovery, then I went back to school and got my master. She went and replaced all the parts she needed to replace. She had never taken care of herself. All my dad was six. So like, 

Rich Bennett 57:11
right. 

Kat 57:11
couple of new hips and a back surgery 

Wendy Beck 57:13
A 

Kat 57:13
and stuff like that. She's, 

Rich Bennett 57:14
oh, my God. Well, you okay? 

Kat 57:16
For real, she had never taken care of herself. I 

Rich Bennett 57:19
Wow. 

Kat 57:19
think she did that. Like now she's in much better place. Um, she's much healthier. Um, 

Rich Bennett 57:26
Good. 

Kat 57:27
she loves hanging out with her grandkids. And yeah. 

Rich Bennett 57:31
Awesome. 

Wendy Beck 57:32
yeah. Wow. Thank you for sharing. I mean, this is. We're hoping that you know, doing this during national recovery month will be, you know, a story that someone can relate to and, you know, bring more people to recovery. And 

Kat 57:44
Yeah, 

Wendy Beck 57:44
we really do thank you for that. 

Rich Bennett 57:46
Yes. Thank you. 

Kat 57:47
So that you guys are shouting a light on it. Hopefully people will come close. 

Rich Bennett 57:51
Purple 

Kat 57:51
light. There we go purple light. 

Wendy Beck 57:53
We're 

Kat 57:53
Like I get 

Wendy Beck 57:53
leaving 

Kat 57:54
fear 

Wendy Beck 57:54
fear 

Kat 57:54
and 

Wendy Beck 57:54
and 

Kat 57:54
go. 

Wendy Beck 57:54
go. 

Kat 57:54
word 

Wendy Beck 57:54
Watching the 

Kat 57:55
ceremony at my kids. 

Wendy Beck 57:57
Yay. 

Kat 57:57
Like that. So cool. That's what like I said. It's a responsibility and a blessing, but I get to be present. Right. 

Wendy Beck 58:02
Yes. And that's all that. That's what they need. 

Rich Bennett 58:04
Yeah. 

Wendy Beck 58:05
That's it. 

Kat 58:06
Thanks. Guys. 

Wendy Beck 58:07
Thank you. 

Rich & Wendy 58:08
That's what we're doing. It's a really, really important thing. I'm just saying that rage against addiction is doing something very important, a monthly donor program. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Absolutely. We are hoping to get our supporters to join us in providing a monthly donation. It can be five dollars or it can be more. Whatever you can afford really allows us to help plan and increase our fundraising efforts. How did people become a monthly donor? What are they doing to help their monthly contributions? Let us plan for long-term projects and respond quickly when urgent needs arise and I'll give you an example. We had the need for a new mattress. Right. And we've also had urgent needs for refrigerators and washing machines and all of that kind of stuff that comes up, so they tend to need to be replaced. And we just deserve to have the things that they need. So with the monthly donor program, technically anybody can do it for any amount. And there, because rage against addiction always needs something. I've known, I've known you for years now and there's times you've told me you guys need a furniture, you need clothes, And and also you're not getting the grants that you used to or the contributions that you used to. So this monthly donor program will definitely help a lot. Yes. So somebody becomes a monthly donor. What is there anything that they're getting in return? besides of course helping those that need it. I know you guys have like an excellent newsletter. Would they automatically subscribe to that? Yeah, we'll subscribe to our newsletter so you'll know what's going on. You can kind of track our progress. Here, success stories, know the data, and like how many women we serve each year, and just be a part of something bigger. So with this, I guess they're also going to be because of the newsletter, they're going to be one of the first ones to find out about events coming up like the memory walk and run. The past get been go and any other future events that you're doing, the podcast that you do. So they're going to be tied in right away. So how can they become a monthly donor? You can go to our website, and that is rageagainstaddiction. org and go to our donate button. And on there, you will have the option to become a monthly donor, and you can put in any amount that you want. Your commitment, bigger small, empowers our mission and changes lives every single day. Visit us at rageagainstaddiction. org to become a reoccurring donor and join us in making a lasting impact. Thank you for your compassion, generosity, and belief in a brighter future. Together, we can make a difference. Join us today.