Sue Day on Creativity, Focus & Thriving with ADHD

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared an episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios, Harford County Living presents Conversations with Rich Bennett. 

No no no! It's just who it is. 

Rich Bennett 1:00
What if the thing you thought was holding you back turned out to be your greatest strength? Today I'm joined by someone who knows that story all too well. Su day. Diagnosed with ADHD back in 1988, long before it was widely understood or accepted. Su spent years ignoring her diagnosis, navigating failed attempts, burn out, and the ultimate curveball success in a career that drained the life out of her. But instead of giving up, she leaned in. She stopped trying to fit her unique brain into someone else's box and started building a new one. Now, a certified ADHD coach and author of ADHD brilliance, a journey into your extraordinary brain, Su helps others understand and love the very brains they've been told are too much or not enough. So we're going to dive into Su's raw, real, and empowering journey from dropping out of high school to finding her voice as a coach, speaker, and now a published author, an author, pernor. If you or someone you love lives of ADHD and I guarantee you, all you're listening, if you don't have ADHD you know someone it does, or you just want to learn how to turn challenges into purpose, this conversation is going to resonate deeply. So grab your coffee, grab your sow, grab whatever you're drinking, sit back, and enjoy. So how you doing, Su? 

Sue Day 2:41
I'm doing great. Thank you for the wonderful introduction. You had you 

Rich Bennett 2:44
Oh. 

Sue Day 2:45
said some things in some new ways. I'm like, oh, I should use that. 

Rich Bennett 2:50
Feel free to do so. 

Sue Day 2:51
Awful. 

Rich Bennett 2:52
I want to go back because myself, I'm a high school dropping out as well. But so in 88, you're diagnosed. What year was it that you actually dropped that high school? Same year. 

Sue Day 3:08
Same year. Yeah. I think about the same year. So I dropped out when I was 16. I think maybe you were going to have to drop out until you were 16 and a half, 

Rich Bennett 3:15
right? 

Sue Day 3:16
Your parents in trouble. So I think I waited till then. And then dropped out the second I could. 

Rich Bennett 3:23
And what did your parents say? 

Sue Day 3:25
They were not pleased. Definitely not pleased. But I think my last high school, which is supposedly a very good high school, 

I had somewhere around 364 hours of detention. 

Rich Bennett 3:43
What? 

Sue Day 3:43
Loaded up because every time you had an unexcused absence, they gave you detention. And I was not, I was actually a decent, I took my test pretty well, 

Rich Bennett 3:55
not 

Sue Day 3:55
but it was 

Rich Bennett 3:55
right. 

Sue Day 3:56
Very big on attendance. And so because I wasn't going to class, I had that much that much attention rolled up and they were like, well, we can't give you any waivers on that. Like we can't, well, it's impossible for me to graduate with that much 

Rich Bennett 4:16
I 

Sue Day 4:16
attention. guess I'm going to see you later. And my parents sort of understood that. They were like, well, of course you can't do 364 hours of detention. That was ridiculous. So. 

Rich Bennett 4:27
Yeah. They don't even accept many community service hours to graduate. 

Sue Day 4:31
Right. Right. Yeah. No. It was a, they, I think, we're pretty happy to see me go to high 

Rich Bennett 4:37
Wow. 

Sue Day 4:38
school. 

Rich Bennett 4:39
Yeah. Not your parents, but you are 

Sue Day 4:40
right. Right. 

Rich Bennett 4:42
Well, and the other thing is to credit me if I'm wrong, but when you were diagnosed, they're really the teachers didn't really focus on that. They expected you to learn the same way that everybody else was, right. 

Sue Day 4:54
Absolutely, absolutely. And I knew, even before I was diagnosed, that there was something different about the way I learned. I have, there's this, you know, in the learning modalities or side of things, I have this way of learning, I don't even know how it works, but just somehow I know what I know. And what I... To focus and try to learn is hard for me, so either I know it, or it's really hard to get there. 

Rich Bennett 5:25
Yeah. 

Sue Day 5:25
And it doesn't seem to be much of an in between, and it never was. And so, yeah, it just didn't work for me. It didn't work because of what I knew. I was like, well, I am going to sit in classes. Listening to this, somebody teach this stuff that I already somehow know. And so, just didn't make any sense to me. And my ADHD brain, who wants things to be really logical, efficient, and straight forward, it didn't get it. 

Rich Bennett 5:59
Yeah. 

Sue Day 5:59
And if I don't get it, I can't do it. 

Rich Bennett 6:03
I, I've seen people struggle with it when I was in school, of course we didn't know what it was then. I'm pretty sure I struggle with it. I was, I've just never been diagnosed with it, but I'm pretty sure I have it. 

Sue Day 6:18
I am no diagnostician, but what you just told me about the number of projects you have hanging around your house. 

Rich Bennett 6:26
Yeah, right. I think I do. It's just non-stop. But no, I mean, it's watching my kids go to school. And you could see, and even my nephew in these, they do. But it's, I don't understand why even today, a lot of schools still struggle with teaching these kids. It makes no sense. And we haven't even gotten to the workforce yet because I'm sure that's even more ridiculous. Actually, so when you quit, what did you do? I know you weren't like me. You weren't playing in a band that kicked you out. 

Sue Day 7:08
No. Not in a band. I was maybe doing some not very well behaved things. 

Rich Bennett 7:17
So. 

Sue Day 7:19
It is actually very common trait with ADHD that we seek our excitement. If 

Rich Bennett 7:25
Yeah. 

Sue Day 7:25
we're not paying attention to our safety, we seek our excitement in either positive or negative ways with great focus. So wherever the excitement is, that focus can be really intense. And that's why there's a lot of substance use issues in ADHD than ADHD population. And there's a lot of risky behaviors in the ADHD population, huge amount of incarceration in the ADHD population. Yeah, yeah. It's actually, I believe ADHD, if treated and attended to well, is a huge strength. And if it's ignored, it can be disastrous. And yeah, it can just be horrendous. So and dangerous. So, yeah, I did plenty of things that I should not have done in those years, but what's really what I loved, I went and worked on a farm. And so I was working with my body. I was working with my hands. I was in the dirt all the time. And I was working hard. And I was sweating. And that helped so much. Just that manual work, my brain just loves it. 

Rich Bennett 8:39
Well, also you're out there with nature too. And they say, you know, just being outside with nature alone can help in so many ways. So many different things. 

Sue Day 8:49
Absolutely. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 8:51
So how long were you working on the farm? 

Sue Day 8:53
I worked on the farm from the time I was 14, so I found it before I started encountering too many problems. Well, actually, not true. I always had problems in school. But so when I was 14, I found the farm. And I worked here till it was about 21. So it was one of my longer careers as, you know, working on the farm. And so as I went to college, I went to college, when I was 18, but every summer I came back and worked on the farm again until until I moved out of state. 

Rich Bennett 9:24
And now credit me if I'm wrong, but now, don't you run a nonprofit? 

Sue Day 9:28
I didn't run a nonprofit. But I was in nonprofit leadership for 

Rich Bennett 9:32
Oh, 

Sue Day 9:33
about 10 years. 

Rich Bennett 9:35
All right. So when did you make that jump? Because that's hard to do. 

Sue Day 9:40
Yeah, yeah, I actually think ADHD is, um, pretty well, um, suited for working on profits in a lot of not maybe great ways. But so I would went to a far. I worked in a farm and then I worked, um, and I went to college. 

Yeah, I did, um, and yeah, and I learned, um, I learned styles of learning, perhaps. I created the major myself, it was outdoor leadership for social change, um, and the kids ate me alive, um, and so I ran away from that really quickly, uh, turns out teenagers are much tougher than I am, so, 

Rich Bennett 10:29
um, 

Sue Day 10:32
and executive assistant for, for, in a legal secretary for like, five or six years. Again, another really detailed, um, 

Rich Bennett 10:40
yeah. 

Sue Day 10:40
The job that, you know, because I was working in a, um, for somebody, you know, if I, if I'm doing the work for and it can be really, uh, meditative some of the work in an executive assistant type, you know, filing spreadsheets, all this stuff that's like, okay, um, I can sort of, focus there and I can get my excitement with, you know, chatting with other people and working on the, like, crisis things, so that was 

Rich Bennett 11:06
Right. 

Sue Day 11:06
good for a while, but it burnt myself out again. Um, and then, um, I ran my own landscaping company for 10 

Rich Bennett 11:15
Wow, 

Sue Day 11:15
years. Um, and that was also wonderful and awful. Um, I, crash and burned and it as well. Um, as I do is this sort of this roller coaster of, like, great success and crash and great success and crash. Um, and, uh, and then I worked in the nonprofit field, um, after that on my entrepreneur, you know, my entrepreneurial work helped make me ready for, um, the, administration that's needed in a nonprofit, um, in a nonprofit where lots of hats. You have 

Rich Bennett 11:53
right. 

Sue Day 11:53
to do a lot of things is, uh, really rewarded to say yes and give your all to everything that you do in a nonprofit because it's the mission, you know, it's your heart. They 

Rich Bennett 12:03
Yeah. 

Sue Day 12:03
want you to give everything your fingers to your, to the bone in a nonprofit and, um, and I loved it for a really long time and I got into finance and I love finance, it's actually much more creative than one might think it is. So it's like, 

Rich Bennett 12:18
uh, 

Sue Day 12:18
you know, that love laser meditative spreadsheet work and then this really creative, um, side of like, well, how do we make this budget work? How do we, how do we expand, how do we think big, you know, so, um, also lots of really great things for me. Um, and then I crashed again, I, you know, I've got super burnt out and did too many things for too long and, um, son eight HD coach, and that changed my life. 

Rich Bennett 12:48
Alright, so when you were doing these other jobs, it sounds like you were going all in and you were probably working more hours than you're probably supposed to, right. 

Sue Day 12:59
Absolutely. Yeah, somewhere in between 60 

Rich Bennett 13:02
Yeah. 

Sue Day 13:02
to 80 hours a week, you know, 

Rich Bennett 13:05
y'all. 

Sue Day 13:05
Just all in, let's go and I had a young kid then. So, you know, nonprofits are flexible so you can sort of move your hours around often. Okay, I could deal with the mom and doing all this work. It was a lot. 

Rich Bennett 13:21
It's amazing. You didn't give yourself a heart attack. 

Sue Day 13:23
Yeah. No, I got pretty sick at the end. I didn't know I was sick because we also really suck at telling our bodies feel 

Rich Bennett 13:32
right. You mentioned you went to college, so I take it. You got your GED before you went to college. 

Sue Day 13:39
Yeah, yeah, I got my GED. I think on the day that I would have graduated. 

Rich Bennett 13:44
Okay, 

Sue Day 13:45
school. That was sort of a piece. My parents and maybe also like proof. Like, well, I didn't need to do this thing. Why, you know. So I did that. 

Rich Bennett 13:57
How hard 

Sue Day 13:58
How hard was it? 

Rich Bennett 13:58
was 

Sue Day 13:59
Pretty easy 

Rich Bennett 14:00
that? 

Sue Day 14:00
for me. It was pretty easy. I was always pretty good at the bookwork. And it's not, you know, a test that's made me to really test for for for a lot of skills. So it's just. 

Rich Bennett 14:13
Yeah. 

Sue Day 14:14
Did you did you make it through high school? Pretty much. Yeah. And so it was pretty easy for me. 

Rich Bennett 14:19
Same. When I went into my GED, I couldn't believe how easy it was. And a lot of other people that I talked to of ADHD, the same thing. 

Sue Day 14:28
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 14:28
And I guess it's because you're not trying to focus over four years. 

Sue Day 14:33
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 14:34
It's, it's then, you know, you know you can get a quicker. I don't know. Maybe that's what it is. I have no idea. 

Sue Day 14:41
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 14:41
That's to me, 

Sue Day 14:42
know. 

Rich Bennett 14:42
you 

Sue Day 14:42
Mm hmm. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 14:43
it 

Sue Day 14:43
It's just 

Rich Bennett 14:43
how. 

Sue Day 14:44
It's a quick one and done, right? You know, here. 

Rich Bennett 14:46
Yeah. 

Sue Day 14:46
I, I gotta do. 

Rich Bennett 14:48
The hell hard was college for you? It was that pretty easy as 

Sue Day 14:51
[laughs] College was easier than high school. 

Rich Bennett 14:55
well. 

Sue Day 14:55
Um, 

Rich Bennett 14:55
OK? but again, you were doing something you wanted to do, right? 

Sue Day 14:59
Doing things I wanted to do. I went to this wonderful college up in the North East King to head Vermont. I'm from Boston 

Rich Bennett 15:06
Ah. 

Sue Day 15:06
originally, so, um, I went- 

Rich Bennett 15:08
Sorry. 

Sue Day 15:09
Mm 

Rich Bennett 15:10
hmm. No. I said I'm sorry. I'm joking. I have to say that, you know, red socks, patriots. I'm bored of more, so I mean, 

Sue Day 15:17
uh huh. 

Rich Bennett 15:18
Even 

Sue Day 15:18
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 15:18
though I don't watch baseball. At least you're not Pittsburgh, so that's OK. 

Sue Day 15:24
Right, 

Rich Bennett 15:24
right, right. No, I'm gonna get a lot of hate for people in Pittsburgh listening. I still love y'all. 

Sue Day 15:32
Yeah. Well, you know, it's all fun and, and games, right? 

Rich Bennett 15:35
Yeah. So up in Vermont Oh, 

Sue Day 15:38
yeah. So up in Vermont. 

Rich Bennett 15:40
Man. 

Sue Day 15:40
Well, um, the North East King's Vermont like way up by go back really, um, 

Rich Bennett 15:44
nice. 

Sue Day 15:45
And uh, it was this red- then it was a two-year school called, um, Sterling College in Craftsbury, common. There's a Sterling College in Kansas, not that one. So Sterling College in Craftsbury, Common, Vermont, and it was a two-year experiential education school where we worked on farms, we learned how to, um, do sustainable forestry, sustainable agriculture. We learned about resource allocations and outdoor education. Um, yeah. And that was really a huge, uh, boon for me. There was a lot of stuff I didn't do really well there. I was still not very good at following instructions. I may still not be very good at following instructions. 

So, um, if something doesn't make sense to me, I have a hard time getting it done, but I graduated 

Rich Bennett 16:34
Yeah. 

Sue Day 16:35
from there. And I loved it. It was amazing. So we're 30 people in my graduating class. So, um, 

Rich Bennett 16:41
J, 

Sue Day 16:42
wow. Yeah, that was it. That was the 150 people in the town and 30 people in my graduating class. So, 

Rich Bennett 16:48
oh, 

Sue Day 16:49
beautiful, rural experience. It's now a four-year college and does some really interesting stuff around, um, blues, sustainability, and agriculture. So, it's a really interesting college. 

Rich Bennett 17:01
Interesting. 

Sue Day 17:02
Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 17:03
All right. So would actually changed when you finally decided to embrace your ADHD rather than fight it? 

Sue Day 17:10
Hmm. Well, the ADHD coach, um, she helped me with that. Um, it was Tracy out of soupa. And she has a book out called ADHD for smart ass women. Um, 

Rich Bennett 17:23
I love that title. 

Sue Day 17:24
It's pretty great. Um, because we do tend to be a fairly irreferent, um, crowd. And um, and so it fits quite well, I think. Um, and I did her group coaching, a group coaching course through her called ADHD is okay. Um, and we explored sort of what our brains were doing. And, um, why and what our passions were and how to sort of move into a life where if we follow our passions and our strengths. Then we actually can be, um, successful and friendly to our brains at the 

Rich Bennett 18:05
time 

Sue Day 18:05
same 

Rich Bennett 18:05
right. 

Sue Day 18:06
Um, and it was amazing. It was a sea change for me. I was like, wow. How, how did I miss this all these, all these years for one? Like, how did I not? Why did I not pay attention to this ADHD and, and, you know, work through that, but you know, there's reasons for everything. And, 

Rich Bennett 18:28
Yeah. 

Sue Day 18:29
and you know, I was probably just not ready before then. Um, and that's fine. And I did what I needed to do. Um, but one thing as I, um, and it was, it was so powerful. It was, it was a huge. a huge change for me. I can't even explain how, like, started learning how to be kind to myself, not pushing myself to the edge of death all the time. Really just learning how to be a kinder person in general, because when you're 

Rich Bennett 18:58
Right, 

Sue Day 18:58
pushing yourself that hard, wearing that judgment to on yourself, it seats out to other people. You know, it's not. And then there's this emotional dysregulation around ADHD. We tend to be really have big emotions, right? And learning how to be kind to myself and my brain really helped me sort of figure out how to work with my emotions in a much 

more productive way, not ignore them, because that's what I either did ignore them or 

Rich Bennett 19:26
right. 

Sue Day 19:26
go up, right? So now I sort of learned how to do things in a much, in a much friendlier way for myself and people around me. And so I decided to be a coach for myself. 

Rich Bennett 19:39
How'd you find her? 

Sue Day 19:41
I think I found her on Facebook. She has a Facebook page called the same, same title, ADHD 

Rich Bennett 19:47
me. 

Sue Day 19:47
for 

Rich Bennett 19:47
Okay. 

Sue Day 19:48
And I think that's where I found her. And that's the first, that group I think was the first group I ever ran into that was really positive about ADHD. It was really informed and really positive about it, not in a polyanna way. Like, yeah, no, we've got trick. We need to deal with sorry about 

Rich Bennett 20:08
Right. 

Sue Day 20:08
this. 

Rich Bennett 20:09
Oh, you're fine. 

Sue Day 20:10
right. 

Rich Bennett 20:11
All 

Sue Day 20:12
We 

Rich Bennett 20:12
So I'm a Marine. It's all right. 

Sue Day 20:14
all right. 

Rich Bennett 20:15
Okay. 

Sue Day 20:15
I was her. You know, West 

Rich Bennett 20:17
Coast. 

Sue Day 20:18
Yeah, swear as much. 

Rich Bennett 20:22
Plus I've had plus I've had Italian women on here from Jersey in New York. So 

Sue Day 20:26
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:27
I see anymore. 

Sue Day 20:29
Yeah. Nope. Not Now, Bostonians tend to 

Rich Bennett 20:33
like 

Sue Day 20:33
talk um. 

Rich Bennett 20:36
Hey, wait a minute now. I do get offended by that. I never understood that. Cuss like a sailor. 

Sue Day 20:43
So. 

Rich Bennett 20:43
Okay. Us Marine. Yeah. Us Marines do it more. Although, 

Sue Day 20:47
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 20:47
should be proud of that. 

Sue Day 20:48
I 

Rich Bennett 20:49
You know, 

Sue Day 20:50
I started a research study and try and figure out who swears more. 

Rich Bennett 20:55
Yeah. And they'll tell me to use my crayons, which I still don't get that joke. But anyways, I'm sorry. Go ahead. 

Sue Day 21:03
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think generally Northeast will just say Northeast. 

Rich Bennett 21:08
Okay. 

Sue Day 21:09
Twairers, you know, we swear. So, um, where was I talking? What was I talking about? 

Rich Bennett 21:16
Oh, about how you found her in the Facebook 

Sue Day 21:17
Found her and this is this amazing idea that I always thought because I was strength-based person. I always 

Rich Bennett 21:24
group. 

Sue Day 21:24
have had a strength mindset, which is how allowed me to get through where I how I've gotten through. Um, but talking about my ADHD in particular as both a strength and something that needs to be addressed was a new idea for me. Right. It was new to be like, oh, it can be a strength and have needs. And that's okay. Um, so I think that was really the biggest, like, whoa, oh, I could actually think about my needs and what I need to survive and thrive and enjoy my life. Instead of just trying to work for everybody else and 

Rich Bennett 22:09
Mm-hmm. 

Sue Day 22:10
make myself successful so that my parents were proud of me or, you know, whatever I was doing in whatever time I was sage. You know, there's always some like external, there was always some external validation that I needed. 

Rich Bennett 22:22
Right. 

Sue Day 22:23
Um, and that's, I've really, um, it really helped me sort of get out from there and into myself and empower me to be who I needed to be. Um, and it was just, um, it was astounding really impactful. 

Rich Bennett 22:42
See then if you went and found that Facebook group, you would not be an ADHD coach now. 

Sue Day 22:47
very, 

Rich Bennett 22:48
I was 

Sue Day 22:48
very possibly. Yes. 

Rich Bennett 22:50
I remember 

Sue Day 22:50
she's the one who even, um, I went to the same school she went to because she was 

Rich Bennett 22:54
a really. 

Sue Day 22:56
Yeah. So the same, um, ADHD coaching school that she did because she was so impactful as like, well, I want your education. 

Rich Bennett 23:02
Yeah. 

Sue Day 23:03
Um, 

Rich Bennett 23:04
and where was school? 

Sue Day 23:05
It's the ADD coaching Academy. It's online. Um, and I think they were with the first ADD, ADHD Academy that, that, um, became ICF accredited so I can get, um, so I'm, and I, 

Rich Bennett 23:21
Oh, 

Sue Day 23:21
I 

Rich Bennett 23:21
wow. 

Sue Day 23:21
will be as soon as I get around to taking my tests, which I have not done yet. Uh, it's been only been three I'm sure any day now, um, 

Rich Bennett 23:31
it's one of those projects. That's right. 

Sue Day 23:32
Yeah, it's a project. Uh, I think I got to, I'm going to go for my advanced test and, um, November. So by anyway, I will get, so it's one of the only schools that has the accreditation that the international coaching, foundation, federation, international coaching, federation, uh, approves and, uhm, 

Rich Bennett 23:51
huh, 

Sue Day 23:52
no, it was anyway, and there's a few more now, but, but, but then it was one of the only schools, and it was certainly the first one. 

Rich Bennett 23:59
Alright, I have, I have to ask you this, and I don't know if you can answer this or not. And, with, with going to this course of score, whatever, is one of the requirements that you have to have ADHD? 

Sue Day 24:16
No, you don't have to have ADHD to go through it. 

Rich Bennett 24:18
Are you serious? 

Sue Day 24:19
Yeah, yeah. Most people that go through it do have ADHD. Uhm, 

Rich Bennett 24:25
well, to me, it makes sense because, and I, we talk about addiction a lot. 

Sue Day 24:31
Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 24:31
And you're peer recovery specialists? Yeah, you're peer recovery specialists are people that are in recovery. 

Sue Day 24:39
Right. 

Rich Bennett 24:39
They've been there. They've done that. To me, if you're ADHD coach, if I have any, you're coaching me, yes, I want you to have it as well because you've been through 

Sue Day 24:52
it. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 24:53
And you know, I, to me, well, that's just going to make it even stronger than 

Sue Day 24:57
think. 

Rich Bennett 24:57
I Yeah. 

Sue Day 24:58
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 24:58
Better than somebody that doesn't have it. Actually, so what are some ADHD treats, uh, that you see as superpowers? 

Sue Day 25:09
Oh, there's so many of them and we're all unique, right? So we all have different things that were that are that we're strong in. But creativity is a big one. If we're not too overwhelmed, problem solving can be astounding problem solvers. We tend to be really good in a crisis. Our brains are do seeking dopamine or brains are just need this is like chemical that we're short on. And so a crisis gives us that and when we have that, our brains just shoot and calm down focus laser focus we can go. Um, it's amazing. Amazing what folks can do in a crisis with ADHD. A lot of ICU nurses and doctors of people who are first responders. But there's a large number of those who are, are having a 

Rich Bennett 26:09
yeah. 

Sue Day 26:09
Yeah. Yeah. So because we just, we're good at, you know, um, we tend to be, uh, this is not in the DSM at all. None of these are really in the DSM. Um, we tend to have this outside source of fairness and justice and that goes for the autism spectrum as well. And I think it's probably partially because of how we've lived our lives and that we've constantly sort of felt beat down. We felt broken, we felt like we weren't being treated fairly and we also have our really. We're observant, um, have a really sort of a wide angle lens on what we see. We don't have the filters that no typical folks have. So we notice a lot more, I think, um, and that's where the people think they were so. Inattentive or we can't focus because we see everything and we don't. 

Rich Bennett 26:59
Yeah, you're everywhere. 

Sue Day 27:00
Filter it out. Um, 

Rich Bennett 27:02
uh-huh. 

Sue Day 27:03
And so I think that as we see sort of the big picture, the wide angle lens, I think we can really see how it's affecting and impacting people. Um, and that gives us a sense of justice and fairness. We tend to be really great, um, and we seek efficiencies where we like to do things new in new in different ways. So we see inefficiencies and seek seek to fix them. 

Rich Bennett 27:26
Right. 

Sue Day 27:27
Um, we tend to be very kind and compassionate people, um, again, probably because of a lot of what we've gone through in our own lives. Um, we tend to be sort of funny. Um, uh, this, I think part of that is sort of this, this uh, creativity or something that is as we just 

Rich Bennett 27:46
Uh-huh. 

Sue Day 27:46
see. Different in a different way and, and we're maybe a little impulsive. So sometimes it just comes out of our mouth. Um, where somebody else might think about like, oh, is that funny or not? I don't know, I don't care. I just say it. 

Rich Bennett 27:59
You know what? I'm wondering now, and I never thought about this. I wonder how many comedians actually have ADHD 

Sue Day 28:08
in the creative world? 

Rich Bennett 28:09
Probably 

Sue Day 28:10
shit. 

Rich Bennett 28:10
a 

Sue Day 28:10
Comedians, musicians, artists, people who seek different, a different, 

Rich Bennett 28:18
yeah. 

Sue Day 28:18
And then that's sort of, you know, settle down and have your night of five job. I would guess there's, uh, there's not a lot of studies on it, but I would guess there's a huge, huge percentage. 

Rich Bennett 28:32
Oh, 

Sue Day 28:33
uh, ADHD. 

Rich Bennett 28:33
I would think, I would think so. I 

Sue Day 28:36
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 28:36
would 

Sue Day 28:36
so 

Rich Bennett 28:36
definitely show. 

Sue Day 28:38
they think they've got around 6 to 8% of the population. 6 to 10% of population has ADHD. 

Rich Bennett 28:43
Almost 40%. What? 

Sue Day 28:44
Of entrepreneurs I think it's more, but anyway almost 40% of entrepreneurs have ADHD. 

Rich Bennett 28:52
Both of those numbers seem very low. 

Sue Day 29:05
So yeah, no I think that I have heard hearsay that some other ADHD experts who have been in the field much much longer than me believe that as far as in this successful entrepreneur. 

Level that people who are really successful, like, or you can talk about Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Phil Knight, the Nike guy, 

Rich Bennett 29:28
Yeah. 

Sue Day 29:29
Simone Biles who took her own direction. I all have ADHD. 

So in the successful level of people who really strive doing their own thing, a different thing. I've heard that some people say up, upwards of 75, 80% of them have ADHD. 

Rich Bennett 29:51
That number I would believe. 

Sue Day 29:53
Mm-hmm, 

Rich Bennett 29:54
I think that would be more accurate. 

Sue Day 29:57
Yeah. It's pretty hard to find a self-made executive who is not in a successful-- 

Rich Bennett 30:03
yeah. 

Sue Day 30:03
Who is not in aversion. 

Rich Bennett 30:06
Yeah. I'm just trying to think of all the people that I know that are entrepreneurs. 

I'm going to have to do my own study. I'm going to ask 

Sue Day 30:23
them. Yeah, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 30:24
Get up set of me, or they're going to just, you know, be honest with me. But I would I would love to find that out because and the thing is too, with ADHD, it's unfortunately, I think it's a lot like addiction, anxiety, depression, there's a bad, there's a stigma about it. A lot of people that have it either don't want to talk about it, or people, for some reason, even people that don't have it don't want to talk about it, which doesn't make sense to me. 

Sue Day 31:06
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:08
Things don't get better unless you talk about it. 

Sue Day 31:10
Right, 

Rich Bennett 31:11
Playing 

Sue Day 31:11
for 

Rich Bennett 31:11
the stuff--

Sue Day 31:11
sure. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 31:14
You're listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

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I'm sure you could probably add, what are some 

misconceptions? Did you see people have about ADHD? Actually, especially adults. 

Sue Day 32:35
Well, the biggest one is adults don't have ADHD. just some sort of excuse, you know, 

Rich Bennett 32:41
It's 

Sue Day 32:41
for not doing things the right way or for being a pain in the ass or whatever. It's just an excuse. You don't really have that. So that's the biggest one. And so they only, and it was in the late 90s or early 2000s that they finally, the DSM, the diagnostics, the statistical book, Daniel, whatever that is, they finally said that ADHD does carry on into adulthood. But with some percentage, I think it's 100%. Some adults get better at masking it, some adults get better at dealing with it in various ways. Like me, I'm getting better at dealing with it. But as I get better at dealing with it, because I'm unmasking, I'm becoming much more visibly ADHD. So I think people get better at masking it, as they get go older, or they go into places where they don't see them anymore. Or it prisons, or they die. I mean, there's a horrible study, it's amazing study, really important. That came out just a few months ago that says that ADHD can take up to 13 years off of a person's life expectancy. yeah'e 

Rich Bennett 33:52
Wow. 

Sue Day 33:52
s worse than smoking. it's 

Rich Bennett 33:55
Wow. 

Sue Day 33:55
it is so if we don't address it like, but we don't see it's invisible right it's like 

Rich Bennett 34:02
it's like yeah. 

Sue Day 34:02
any other invisible disability and and though I believe it is a strength in today's society is very much a disability because we need things to be different than what society wants us to do um but, um, yeah so it is, um, it's invisible people don't see it's invisible. see it, we look, it can be really paradoxical, we look really really confident often and then like, but we can't brush our teeth or we can't remember to put the cans in the, in the recycler, whatever the things we can't do things that people expect us to be able to do because we are tend to be pretty capable people. 

Rich Bennett 34:40
yeah, 

Sue Day 34:41
yeah so, um, a lot of people think that ADHD is an indication of intelligence and that's not true and a lot of people think that it's an indication of lack of intelligence which is also not true there's no correspondence to IQ or intelligence quotients and ADHD, um, our brains work differently so in some situations we may look like we're really, you know, we're speeding along faster than the rest of the crowd or, or we may be... we can't slow things down because something's not clicking but, but it's, 

Rich Bennett 35:14
it's trying to understand it better. 

Sue Day 35:16
yeah yeah or want to get into every little nukin cranny of it because we have this focus on this. um, but so a lot of people, this is just so many and people think that we are all super scattered and really have a super high energy but that's not true there's an inattentive type of ADHD where, where, um, you know, daydreaming is sort of the big, um, the big symptom that people pay attention to. 

Rich Bennett 35:45
really? 

Sue Day 35:46
yeah just not being able to sort of focus on the task of hand and just sort of drifting off into your own little world, that's, 

Rich Bennett 35:51
oh shit, 

Sue Day 35:52
uh, 

Rich Bennett 35:52
I definitely, 

Sue Day 35:52
ADHD. 

Rich Bennett 35:52
at then. 

Sue Day 35:54
yeah, 

Rich Bennett 35:55
I, oh yeah, I mean, I used to daydream all the time in school. 

Sue Day 35:59
yeah yeah, 

Rich Bennett 36:00
and now if we, if we go somewhere and I could, I could sit there and like watch a speaker and I look like I'm focused it's like ton of it I'm just daydreaming about something else. 

Sue Day 36:13
yeah, yep. 

Rich Bennett 36:14
wow. 

Sue Day 36:15
I read a whole chapter of a book and like, wait. 

Rich Bennett 36:18
yes, 

Sue Day 36:19
I 

Rich Bennett 36:19
yeah. 

Sue Day 36:20
didn't get one word of that. 

Rich Bennett 36:22
I have, I 

Sue Day 36:23
get them, but 

Rich Bennett 36:24
I get diagnosed. 

Sue Day 36:26
hmm. 

Rich Bennett 36:26
how does somebody get diagnosed? 

Sue Day 36:28
um, so it's not super easy, but it's not as hard as it is in some places and, sort of, depends on the state. I'm not sure. um, I know in Oregon, Washington, you can get diagnosed with it by your general physician. um, 

Rich Bennett 36:43
okay, 

Sue Day 36:44
so, and it's actually not, uh, it's not. somebody like is this huge rigorous process is for ADHD itself is not a very huge rigorous process. 

Rich Bennett 36:53
right. 

Sue Day 36:53
there's, there's some pretty short questionnaires that can give people really good idea, whether you have ADHD traits or not and would 

Rich Bennett 37:01
okay, 

Sue Day 37:01
be. that would benefit from ADHD accommodations or medication. 

Rich Bennett 37:07
I think I definitely want to look into that, 

Sue Day 37:10
Yeah, no, if you're interested, I think ask your, um, ask your GP and see or your PCB, wherever you call different things in different places, um, to general practitioner primary care, um, doctor, CFA, um, sometimes therapists recommend people to diagnostician, or, or perhaps your GP might do that. um, 

Rich Bennett 37:29
right? 

Sue Day 37:29
I was diagnosed, um, initially I was diagnosed with as a kid, um, in separate Massachusetts and I feel like I was probably diagnosed in net. Hallowell's office, which is he's one of the sort of grandfathers of the people that talk about ADHD. So, 

Rich Bennett 37:45
okay, 

Sue Day 37:46
um, he wrote a great book called um, uh, driven to distraction with John Rady and it's a really wonderful book about, again, 80-she's tricks and how amazing 80-she can be, but also how much you need to pay attention to it. So I was diagnosed by him and where was I going with this? We were talking, oh, diagnostics. So I went through a big sort of neuropsych diagnostic. It probably took a half a day or a full day. So I went through a bunch of tests. But that's one way to do it. But then also when I was rediagnosed and when I had my kiddo at 36 I was rediagnosed because I was like, I got to do something about this. I wanted to get on medication. It was just, she just gave me a questionnaire of about 10 questions or some like this. 

Rich Bennett 38:41
okay. 

Sue Day 38:42
And she was like, I don't know. If I got diagnosed in 1988 as a girl, which is, people think that there's a differentiation between how many girls at ADHD and how many boys do and it's not true there isn't any. 

Rich Bennett 38:54
Really? 

Sue Day 38:56
Because girls are get missed all the time because of these traditional traits of this hyperactivity. But girls are better at masking, girls are taught to be well, better behaved, so we're better at sort of holding it in. But also, and we also sometimes display more as the inattentive type instead of the hyperactive type. But anyway, I have a pretty good dose of ADHD. I'm a combined type. I'm not super active physically. I'm always moving. I'm always fidgeting with something. But so my nurse practitioner back 30, when when I was 36, however long 

Rich Bennett 39:38
it 

Sue Day 39:39
was, um, it was 

Rich Bennett 39:41
last last 

Sue Day 39:43
Here's 

Rich Bennett 39:43
year. 

Sue Day 39:43
something like that. Yeah. Um, last year or 20 years ago, or something like that. 

Rich Bennett 39:48
sir, 

Sue Day 39:49
Time, 

Rich Bennett 39:50
wait a minute, there ain't no way in hell. You were 36, 20 years ago. 

Sue Day 39:55
I was 36, 17 years 

Rich Bennett 39:59
ago. No way. 

Sue Day 40:01
I think, yes, that makes, that makes us 72. So, yeah, I think, I 

Rich Bennett 40:05
Oh, 

Sue Day 40:05
think. 

Rich Bennett 40:06
women, now that I do the math with school and everything, well, damn, you look good for your age. 

Sue Day 40:11
Well, thank you very much, I appreciate that. 

Rich Bennett 40:15
Sixth. Okay. So, wow. Damn. 

Sue Day 40:21
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:21
Give me some of that water you're drinking. 

Sue Day 40:25
No, partly it's like I didn't look, I didn't look like this four years ago when I got burnt out. I mean, I, when I, when you're healthy and taking care of yourself, right? That's what 

Rich Bennett 40:38
makes a difference. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know. 

Sue Day 40:41
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 40:41
I know. All right. So, when, how long ago, was it that you started coaching 

Sue Day 40:45
ADA? 

Rich Bennett 40:45
the 

Sue Day 40:46
About three years ago. 

Rich Bennett 40:47
All right, about three years 

Sue Day 40:49
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:49
ago. So, how do you actually help clients tap into their strengths and build ADHD friendly lives? 

Sue Day 40:57
It's really unique to the client. 

Rich Bennett 41:00
Okay. 

Sue Day 41:00
And it really depends. So, it depends on what they want and need when they come in. I always meet people where they're at. I always, 

Work on a strengths based. So, it's a very strength, strengths based practice. And we always work to find strengths, find passions and move into ways of doing things that appreciate our brains and take into account our brains instead of trying to force ourselves into these little boxes that we talked about earlier. These sets is like, no, we don't want to, we're gonna we're gonna branch out a little bit. 

Rich Bennett 41:41
right. 

Sue Day 41:42
We're gonna open our horizons. We're not gonna try and fit into this box. So, you have these things you want to do. Let's figure out how to get those done. And if they're not something that you want and love long term, let's also figure out how to create your life in a way that really works for your brain. And so, we do sort of both for the executive functioning right here right now. How do I get my room clean? And then also, through that, often comes like, how do I find a career that I love? How do I find accommodations that I need? How do I find the tools and the support system that I need in my life to thrive? How do I how do I do something crazy that I've wanted to do forever but I've been too scared to? How do I get out of this perfectionism mindset? Because again, as 80s to years, we're put down all the times and we have this perfectionism that is just driven. We are so desperate to make people think that we are not broken people. 

Rich Bennett 42:51
Right, I love the way you said that. 

Sue Day 42:54
no, it's sad, 

Rich Bennett 42:56
Yeah, 

Sue Day 42:56
but it's so... 

Rich Bennett 42:58
But it's true. 

Sue Day 42:59
It is. It is. And we are approximately 20,000 more negative things about ourselves by the time we're 10 than they're typical of. It's just, it's devastating. And we have that trauma of like always being wrong, always being disruptive, always being whatever it is that we're doing wrong. And it's, and it's a, they're moral judgments too. Like we know you can do it, you just won't. We know you know how to behave, but you won't, but you're still being disruptive. Like we know that you can because it's because it's invisible, right? It looks... 

Rich Bennett 43:38
Right. 

Sue Day 43:38
You can do these things, but it's not a matter of whether we can or not. It's whether it's, even if we know it, it's not whether we know it or not, it's just that we can't make our brains do it. Our brains have a reason that is compelling enough to make it happen. 

Rich Bennett 43:56
All right, so with the coaching, 

these are three years, 

I love to hear the feel good stories. 

Sue Day 44:08
So 

Rich Bennett 44:09
and you know, well, you're coaching people, no matter where they're at, right? So you're doing it through the power of the internet and in person or just virtually. 

Sue Day 44:17
I just started doing it in person. And actually, I really like it. I 

Rich Bennett 44:23
Yeah, 

Sue Day 44:23
started because I was right after COVID, and everybody was on the internet. I started just virtual, but I started doing it in person, I really love it. And I've just started doing it in groups as well, which is really wonderful because the power of being 

Rich Bennett 44:37
a... 

Sue Day 44:38
in 

Rich Bennett 44:38
That real person connection makes a big 

Sue Day 44:40
difference. Yeah. And when you see other people have the same struggles as you feel less broken, you feel less alone. So 

Rich Bennett 44:50
good. 

Sue Day 44:50
it's really 

Rich Bennett 44:51
I would also, I would also think that for you as a coach, when you're doing it in person, you could probably see the difference you're making because body language 

Sue Day 45:04
a 

Rich Bennett 45:04
tells well. And just watching somebody's face and everything. 

Sue Day 45:10
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:11
Yeah. It's hard to tell sometimes, virtually. Because it just, it just is. 

Sue Day 45:18
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 45:19
So 

Sue Day 45:19
Yeah, we're trained to, you know, we do part of the training is like, well, pay attention 

Rich Bennett 45:25
yeah. 

Sue Day 45:25
to their face, pay attention to their body language, pay attention to their stature. And we do actually a fair amount because 80's years also, I think I said earlier, the socket feeling knowing how we feel, 

reflecting back, they're like, oh, I see that you've got some energy around that idea. I see that in your face, or seeing when somebody's like dropped their shoulders or tensed themselves up, and like, I always see this is how this is, how does that feel for you. It's a big, and it's, yeah, in person, it's even more powerful. 

Rich Bennett 45:56
So can you actually share a feel good story with us about somebody, you know, one of your clients, one of your clients that you've been able to help? 

You don't have to use their name. 

Sue Day 46:07
I don't have any, certainly can't use anybody's name. I don't have any, then I've really formulated, but let's see, I had a woman, one of my first, they went through a whole, my program, which is what my book is designed around, which is a 10-step, a 10-session program that takes you through passions, and like, what are your passions? What are your strengths? Where do you, what do you really want to do? And what tools do you need to be successful in those places? And then how do you wrap it up and create this owner's manual for your brain so that 

Rich Bennett 46:45
Right. 

Sue Day 46:45
when you forget because we have shitty memories, like, forget, you have this book, or you're like, oh, that's how I do this. And this is where I succeed. These are ways that I've succeeded in the past. One of the people who went through it first with me. She found it so impactful 

that she, well she's created her owner's manual, right? And she has become 

I need to write it in a way that's more powerful. But she's just, she's become much more free with, you know, she was putting all of these onuses of like, I have to have the successful job in this field, I have to do. And since then she's entered into an entrepreneurial program and she started to get, I'm really open up about what her work means to her and what it, how she moves into careers that she loves and she's really focusing on her strengths and her passions now. Whereas before she was like, I just need to fit myself into this box. So now she's in this entrepreneurial program, she's moving forward and she's having art exhibits and she's doing all these amazing things. And so it was just a wonderful unfolding to see. 

Rich Bennett 48:08
Nice. So the book, it's brilliant. A journey into your extraordinary brain. How long did it actually take you to write this? 

Sue Day 48:23
Not very long. I remember I was saying something about 80's, she's sometimes doing things faster than than others. So I decided last July, I just sort of started fiddling with the idea. And by September, I had the book pretty much written and was 

Rich Bennett 48:43
to 

Sue Day 48:43
going 

Rich Bennett 48:43
wow. 

Sue Day 48:44
And by January, it was all proved and ready for publications. They screwed up the publication and now it's just finally republished in a way that is widely distributed. But at first, you know, it took me about six months. 

Rich Bennett 48:59
Wait a minute. So you're not self-published? 

Sue Day 49:01
I am self-published but 

Rich Bennett 49:02
Oh, okay. 

Sue Day 49:03
There's apparently a method to doing this that I maybe didn't read the instruction manual. 

Rich Bennett 49:11
All right. So, why did you actually decide to write it? Were you just sitting there one day? You just said, I needed to write a book about 

Sue Day 49:21
this. Well, I have clients that have ADHD. And I have a lot of worksheets for them. And over time, they read, can you just make a packet for us of these worksheets? So I started making the packet and it was this summer slump. We really don't get as many clients in the summertime because people are off doing fun things. So and when I'm not coaching, I feel It really, really feeds me. That's this coaching, this opening up and it's a real two-way street. It's a collaboration. I love it. And so I felt I needed something to sort of make me feel like I was still sort of in the game. And so I started putting those worksheets together and then I said, well, they need instructions. So I added the instructions. They're like, well, then they probably need some personal ideas around like how I've 

Rich Bennett 50:18
right. 

Sue Day 50:18
got through these things. So there's some 

Rich Bennett 50:20
like a little memoir part. 

Sue Day 50:22
Yeah. And so then I got that way. As I will, now I have half a book. And I really feel like it's important that people not watch these, you know, not based their entire idea of what ADHD is based on these TikToks and and real. 

Rich Bennett 50:38
And 

Sue Day 50:39
you know, there's just so much missing information out there and so much misunderstanding around ADHD. So I go, OK, well, right, this, this introduction, which is the first part of the book, which is a really accessible and fact-based description of what ADHD is and how it impacts people in their lives, including myths and 

Rich Bennett 51:00
truths 

Sue Day 51:00
and how different parts of our lives are different. Yeah. And then because I didn't, I wanted it to be accessible for... We often have co-occurring conditions like dysgraphia and dyslexia and all these other sort of learning reading issues that I made it. I had to do the internal design too because I just need to do my own thing. So so then I designed it and I learned how to use and design it, design my book and did all the interior publishing as well. And yeah, so it's fun. It's beautiful. So this might, I had a wonderful cover designer and she did some illustrations, but it's broken up in a way that's... That's sort of friendly to the ADHD brain. 

Rich Bennett 51:50
Yeah. 

Sue Day 51:50
Short sections, it's big letters. There's like little, you know, myths and things. There's pictures and there's some illustrations and there's little like sidebars and stuff. So it's 

Rich Bennett 52:02
Smart. 

Sue Day 52:02
sort of built for the ADHD brain as well. 

Rich Bennett 52:05
What was the hardest part the 

Sue Day 52:08
right? Probably I guess one of the biggest things was like figuring out the organization of it. 

Rich Bennett 52:14
Right. 

Sue Day 52:15
Hmm, my rating, doesn't tend to be as organized as some of the people's reigns, but uhm, that was, that was an interesting, uhm, thing I, there's two, I guess there's two kinds of writers. I've learned this since, um, there's dancers, and there's outliners. The dancers are the one who do things by the sea of their pants. 

Rich Bennett 52:33
Okay. 

Sue Day 52:34
That's me. And so I had the whole thing before it was organized, I had all the writing, and so I had to then organize it. And then overcoming the fear of, like, who am I? 

Rich Bennett 52:48
Yeah. 

Sue Day 52:48
To put this book out, who am I? What if people don't like it? What if, you know, there's so many people that know more about ADHD, who am I to say that this is the way the, overcoming those ideas was really, really And I actually really sorta needed to put blinders on and just stop thinking about it until it was published out in the world. Because, uh, because I don't think I, if I had, if I had let those thoughts continue to intrude, 

Rich Bennett 53:17
They're going to be out. 

Sue Day 53:18
No, I wouldn't have done it. So. 

Rich Bennett 53:20
No. Well, so the very important, how do people get the book? 

Sue Day 53:24
You can find it on my web. So it's available everywhere now, so which is. 

Rich Bennett 53:28
Okay. 

Sue Day 53:28
Good. 

So you can get an Amazon, Barnes and Noble. You can walk into a local bookstore and ask them to order it for you. So that's available everywhere and then you can also find it on a website, which is pathways for coaching.com. And then it has ADHD, brilliant tab at the top. 

Rich Bennett 53:44
All right. 

Sue Day 53:45
There. Get there. 

Rich Bennett 53:46
Any plans on putting it at an audio version? 

Sue Day 53:51
Mmm, I am not, I'm trying to figure out the best way because I made the interior design in such a way. 

Rich Bennett 53:59
Oh, 

Sue Day 53:59
right. 

Rich Bennett 54:00
that's 

Sue Day 54:00
Mostly a workbook. So an audio is like, I'm not sure how helpful that would be. I was sorta thinking about maybe a course making a sort of video course with it. 

Rich Bennett 54:10
Yeah. 

Sue Day 54:11
And then it's also not very, like putting it in a ebook format. It's not really conducive to that either. So, but if you buy the both all the worksheets are available online until you can get PDF worksheets of it. And what else? 

Yeah. So I'm just trying to thinking about what the different formats are going to be this is it because I am pulling up this. It's not going to be the standard. 

Rich Bennett 54:40
Yeah. I think you could do it as an audio version, especially if you have the free PDF scenario. 

Sue Day 54:45
Yeah, maybe could. 

Rich Bennett 54:47
And you think about it. I mean, so what have you been doing? You begin on podcast, right? 

Sue Day 54:53
Mm-hmm, yep. 

Rich Bennett 54:54
So you have the equipment to record it yourself? 

Sue Day 54:57
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 54:58
I'm just saying. 

No, no, it's a pain for somebody to do it when you can do it yourself. 

Sue Day 55:04
Yeah, that is, it's a good idea. It's a good idea. I have been toying with it. So we'll see where it ends up. But I do know that a lot of my clients would prefer it in an audio way. 

Rich Bennett 55:19
So we know that the book is for people with ADHD. Who else is it for? 

I think I know, but I want to hear 

Sue Day 55:27
it. 

Rich Bennett 55:28
It's all their body. 

Sue Day 55:29
Yeah. It's really for people who love people with ADHD, which is basically everybody in the world. And even if you don't have ADHD, the work that's in here, I got to say, it's not tips and tricks. It's not like, how do you hack your brain to do the thing that you think you should be doing? This is about how do you really dig deep and figure out where your passions lies? How do you really live your favorite life? And that helps everybody. 

Rich Bennett 55:55
Yeah. 

Sue Day 55:55
So anybody can go through these worksheets and improve their sort of how they move through their own lives. 

Rich Bennett 56:04
Well, people get a better understanding of it as well. People that don't have ADHD would definitely get a better understanding of it, I believe. 

Sue Day 56:12
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 56:12
All right, so for someone newly diagnosed, especially an adult, what advice would you give them as a first step? 

Sue Day 56:22
That is hard when I just have written a few substacks on that sort of, like, what's the journey? But this mostly about sort of treatment, like how do you, how do you work with your ADHD? But I think before you get there, or during the same time, you need to go through a process that is perhaps a grief process. 

Rich Bennett 56:48
Yeah. 

Sue Day 56:50
What could life have been if I had known earlier? Oh, everybody thought I was so terrible. I thought I was broken all my life. What could my life have been like had I not been there? So you have to get through that process, go through that process and sort of find your way. And I do see people get stuck in that, oh, what could have been? And my favorite thing to say to people is You can't know for one. 

Rich Bennett 57:23
Right. 

Sue Day 57:23
Today is today and you're moving forward, there's no way to know what could have been, and if you had known earlier, what might not have been, that was. So. 

And I wanted to empower people to find their own strength and move forward in their own power. And I gave that up and went on this huge rollercoaster of an adventure. Until I got to ADHD coaching where I am now, empowering people to live in their power and move forward. And I don't think I could have done that then. 

Rich Bennett 58:13
Yeah. 

Sue Day 58:13
I wanted to get here. So twists and turns, they happen. I don't think I could have done it without them 

Rich Bennett 58:23
though. And here it is and now you're helping people that have it. 

Sue Day 58:27
Yeah, 

Rich Bennett 58:28
which is awesome. I have to ask you this because this has been bugging me. Because you've mentioned your and I loved the phrase your kiddo so does your kiddo have ADHD as well. 

Sue Day 58:41
My kiddo does indeed have ADHD. a 

Rich Bennett 58:43
Have 

Sue Day 58:44
teen and perhaps also one spectrum, not really sure, not diagnosed there. But yes, for sure, ADHD and they are very different than me. They are super driven and successful and they get good grades and they go to do their thing and, you know, they have their first summer job this year and they 

Rich Bennett 59:08
really. Wow. 

Sue Day 59:09
Really motivated. They just really sort of moving through life as a as an amazing force of nature. And 

Rich Bennett 59:20
really. 

Sue Day 59:20
they 

Rich Bennett 59:20
That's a 

Sue Day 59:20
care about people. And they are their own person right now. Their head is shaved. And there's one side is green with stripes and one side is pink with black dots and they're a watermelon. 

Rich Bennett 59:31
Okay. 

Sue Day 59:32
So they are creative and unusual and crystal ball and super fun. A total monster, by the way. 

Don't forget that part. But there are only really total monster to me. Everybody else is awesome. 

Rich Bennett 59:54
So before I get to my last question, which I have no idea what it's going to be. Is there anything you would like to add. 

Sue Day 1:00:03
I think I really loved that question around what do people do first when they get. And my answer sort of surprised me. And so I really just would love people to understand or to start try to feel and knowing that that whatever their journey was to get where they are. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:26
Yeah, 

Sue Day 1:00:28
it's what it was. And now they can only move forward. And so it's sort of like how do we. Yes, we need to process what happens. What happened in the past. It's totally okay and totally valid and totally important. But. But it doesn't necessarily mean that tomorrow, you can't live a completely different life if you want to. So it's just like trying to accept what was and moving forward in it as best you can is is really important for for it's a life changing diagnosis. Especially for somebody in their 50s has been struggling all their life. Is really impactful. So sit in it. Understand it. Feel it and move forward. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:19
I love that. All right. So what I've been doing lately with my guest is I have a list of 100 different questions. I have no idea what they are. Except for the ones that the people have already picked, but I forgot which numbers they were. So. And if anything is some of them. Somehow or another have picked a question that aligns with what we are talking about. So pick a number between one and 100. 

Sue Day 1:01:51
35. 

Rich Bennett 1:01:51
35, why is everybody keep going for 30s. Somebody pick 30. 40 other day. All right, 30. You know what. It's just scary. Where did the questions go? Oh, there they are. I lost the question. 

Sue Day 1:02:08
Something up on the 

Rich Bennett 1:02:10
Wow. 

Sue Day 1:02:10
spot. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:11
Holy cow. Okay. Oh, this is perfect. If you had to describe your life's purpose in one sentence, what would it be? 

Sue Day 1:02:28
I'm going to make it overarching. Make things better, improve, 

improve things, make things better. 

Rich Bennett 1:02:39
I like that. That's great. That's perfect. See that. 

Sue Day 1:02:44
It's been my life call since I was anybody. I just have always wanted to. make improvements, make things, and I feel really potential. I'm not potential. I don't know. It feels like I'm, but it's not like I've tried to like change everything because I know the answer. But it's just like, 

Rich Bennett 1:03:04
it 

Sue Day 1:03:05
just want to help. 

Rich Bennett 1:03:08
Yeah. Which yeah, it's important. I mean, I'm the same way. I just want to help out as much as possible and learn. I just love learning, which is why I do this. 

I've learned a lot today with you, 

Sue Day 1:03:24
And 

Rich Bennett 1:03:25
which is awesome. So, I want to thank you so much. It's been an honor. Those of you listening, you know what I'm going to say, go out by the book after you read it, leave a full review whether it be on Amazon, good reads, wherever you can leave reviews. Don't give it to somebody else because you're going to keep it as a guide book. But buy copies for other people and give it to them. Actually, I would say even for your, you know, company, 

Sue Day 1:03:55
yeah, 

Rich Bennett 1:03:55
put it on, you know, anytime you go to the dentist, the doctor or whatever, buy a copy and just leave it on the table where they leave stuff. Oh, I like that challenge. 

Sue Day 1:04:07
That's 

Rich Bennett 1:04:07
So 

Sue Day 1:04:07
exciting. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:08
thank, yeah, I like that. We have to start doing that. So thanks a lot. 

Sue Day 1:04:12
Yeah, thank you. I've really enjoyed our conversations. It's been really fun. 

Rich Bennett 1:04:16
Thank

Rich Bennett 1:04:17
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with rich Bennett dot com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care, be kind and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together. and And my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing software, the hosting and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them. And if you can please please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them, however you can. So please visit following Real-life real life prosthetics, cutting-edge solutions, restoring ability since 2001 go to reallifeprostetics.com full circle boards. Nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards visit them at fullcircleboards.com Sincerely, Sincerely, sincerely, so your photography. Live in the moment, they'll capture it. Visit them at sincerelysoyer.com.