Surviving, Healing, and Rising Strong with Jessie Torres

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey, everyone is rich-bendip. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared a episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios, Harvard County Living Presence, conversations with rich-bendip, 

what

Rich Bennett 1:01
if your deepest pain was actually the key to unlocking your greatest power? On today's episode of Conversations with Rich-Bendip, I'm sitting down with one of the most powerful and transformational coaches on the planet, Jesse Torres. She's not just a peak performance coach in life strategists who self-thousands around the globe. She's a walk-in testament to resilience, faith, and fierce grace. Jesse's story isn't for the faint of heart. She survived sexual abuse, the murder of both of her brothers, and the marriage that nearly broke her spirit. But instead of staying in the darkness, she fought her way to the light and now helps others to do the same. So if you've ever felt stuck in pain, fear, or self-doubt, this conversation will challenge you, inspire you, and show you what your greatest breakthroughs are often hiding behind your biggest breakdowns. So get ready to redefine what's possible, because Jesse doesn't just talk about transformation. She embodies it. Jesse, I… god, after reading that, I don't even know where start. Of course, we can't do it because we're recording virtually, but it's like, I just want to reach out and give you a big hug. I mean, everything that you've been through, it's like most people would have just given up. What was it that kept you so strong and going? 

Jessie Torres 2:37
Well, honestly, I think if I were to answer that, a different segment of my life, 

Rich Bennett 2:42
right? 

Jessie Torres 2:47
At this point, I would answer that with my love for humanity. Back in the day when I didn't understand the concept or was in massive survival, it was my kids that kept me alive. And my desire to not have them have a lifetime of knowing and living with their mom committing suicide. 

Rich Bennett 3:08
Because 

Jessie Torres 3:09
that's where I got to. So it wasn't for me to do, but I was hoping someone would blow the red light so I could be done. Because I'm like, if this is what life is, I don't want to be here. So because of that, and then what woke me up was an active kindness. 

Rich Bennett 3:26
I 

Jessie Torres 3:26
can speak to and those people will never know who they woke up. But from the context of the abuse I had with my father, and then the abuse I had with my ex, it was that apathetic state of like, you know, my dad told me people, you know, they want to take advantage of you and they want to get in your pants. And my ex was just like, "Oh, people, you know, are guilty before they're innocent." Like everybody's trying to get something from you. Don't talk about our marriage to people because they want to subconsciously break up a good thing. And so, you know, keeping quiet and always living with that hyper vigilance, it's just 

Rich Bennett 4:00
and 

Jessie Torres 4:00
then these people treated me kindly in short circuited my brain. Just like, "What? Like, I don't even know what to call this, but this feeling that I'm getting, if this is available, then life is worth living." 

Rich Bennett 4:12
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 4:12
And that gave me the courage to get out of my situation. And from there, it was survival for quite some time. 

Rich Bennett 4:17
So obviously the sexual abuse from your father was first. And then, was it your brothers, both your brothers that were twin right? 

Jessie Torres 4:27
No, no, no, I have twin 

Rich Bennett 4:29
sons. No, twin sons. Okay, twin 

Jessie Torres 4:31
The 

Rich Bennett 4:31
sons. 

Jessie Torres 4:31
sons. But, no, my older brother was murdered when I was 28. He was 29. 

Rich Bennett 4:37
Oh my God. 

Jessie Torres 4:38
Yeah. And my little brother was murdered two years ago. Yeah, 30 years apart. Almost to the month, 30 years apart, they totally different circumstances to totally different people. Same mom and dad, it was the three of us. 

Rich Bennett 4:56
And 

Jessie Torres 4:56
my older brother was killed. I was still married and it was a massive shock. When that happened, I was devastated, heartbroken, sad, crushed. and I turned my back on my faith. I was raised Catholic, turned Christian. I consider myself more spiritual now than anything. 

Rich Bennett 5:19
Right. 

Jessie Torres 5:21
But back then, I was like, I don't even know if you exist, God. Like, 

Rich Bennett 5:25
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 5:26
no, and I'm thinking about my brother, you know, and I'm like, what if we just get buried six feet under with worms crawling out of our eye holes? That's kind of how I 

Rich Bennett 5:33
in 

Jessie Torres 5:33
was my pain. And then I'm like, if you do exist, God, then I hate you for taking my brother. That's where I was. Right. And it wasn't until a moment where he showed himself to me. I was crying. I was my ex-husband was holding me and I just saw him. He was all in white. And then there was what looked like people in white. It's 

Rich Bennett 5:55
Right. 

Jessie Torres 5:55
hard to tell when you have visions like that, but it's fuzzy. But he just did with his arm a gesture and he said, just everything is as it's supposed to be. And I didn't quite know what it meant, but it brought me peace. I 

Rich Bennett 6:07
Yes. 

Jessie Torres 6:07
knew he was okay. And from that began my cycle of understanding my own spirituality or what now I was still in my marriage at the time. And it wasn't just that we had four deaths in the family, all from 

Rich Bennett 6:20
God 

Jessie Torres 6:21
from crazy things. It started with my ex-husband's uncle who was six, six and a half. He worked in the Puget Sound up in Washington. For years, stepped on the shipyard on the shipyard. And one of those big huge balls with the hook on the end fell on his head. 

Rich Bennett 6:39
What the hell? 

Jessie Torres 6:40
Total insane. Like if he would have stopped to tie his shoe, he wouldn't have been underneath the thing when it happened. You know what I mean? Like just insane. 

Rich Bennett 6:47
Wow. 

Jessie Torres 6:48
Right. Then my ex-husband's sister committed suicide. Then, yeah. And then his partner, because he was LAPD at the time, his partner who would do bike detail on Hollywood came home from work, put in a John Wayne movie that relax and had an aneurysm and died. He was 38, left two little kids. So all of that, and then my brother was murdered. So it was like a barrage of this happening in our marriage, in our family. And so it was definitely devastating. And coming out of that after coming out of that marriage in survival, and it's been my quest to understand humanity. And when I got divorced at 38, I didn't even know what my favorite food was. Like I'd been. 

Rich Bennett 7:40
Really? 

Jessie Torres 7:40
And my whole life trying to keep the peace, trying to keep my ex from being angry. So he didn't yell at the kids. Or yell at me or, you know, so it was all this explosive. It was like PTSD. Honestly, walking around in that home with tons of hypervegillants for me and my kids. And so in that, now I'm like 38, I'm like, I don't even know who I am. And that began my quest in obsession, if you will, on understanding human beings. 

Rich Bennett 8:04
down. 

Jessie Torres 8:04
And I went 

Rich Bennett 8:04
Right. 

Jessie Torres 8:05
The rabbit hole of my own therapy, workshop seminars, books. I did everything I could. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know why my dad did what he did, why 

Rich Bennett 8:12
Mm-hmm. 

Jessie Torres 8:12
my mom ignored it when I tried to tell her at 16, why my husband did what he did, and why I allowed it. And I started to just get understanding the human condition. And I want to say that today, I love my father. I love my ex. I have nothing but gratitude for my journey. Because 

Rich Bennett 8:31
Right. 

Jessie Torres 8:31
in that depth of darkness, if I can come out this side with resolve to help heal and help people get out of suffering, so can others. And you don't have to be a world changer. But you will definitely, when you shift your own inner world, you will shift the world with the people around you. And that could be your children. That could be your neighbor. It could be your boss. It could be whoever. But when we start to look inside and heal ourselves, we become a ripple effect for others. And that's that's my goal and that's my purpose. 30 years later, two years ago, my little brother was murdered. Now my little brother was 15 when my older brother was killed. And he idolized him. So he started doing his looking for a big brother in outside. And he got connected with gangs and he was in and out of prison for years. So my mom just obsessed over either her dead son or her son who was in trouble. I just kind of went on my own and started to create a life for myself. I got married so young at 18. I had my kids. By the time I was 25, I already had three kids. I had my boys at 21 and my daughter at 23. And you know, so I was a mom and I was living my life while she was dealing with all of that. And then my brother was doing the best he had ever had. Like he was taking his daughters to school, helping them with their homework, cooking dinner. He actually opened up a business. He was doing amazing when his past came to hunt him and somebody shot him in the back for a thousand bucks. 

Rich Bennett 10:01
Jesus. 

Jessie Torres 10:02
Yeah. So it was insane. So my point for sharing all of this riches at there was many justifications when my little brother was killed i didn't feel sad i mean i felt sad of course but i 

Rich Bennett 10:14
felt right 

Jessie Torres 10:15
i felt rage for the 

Rich Bennett 10:16
there 

Jessie Torres 10:16
first time usually my emotional home sadness or disappoint i felt rage like i never felt it before and i prayed i'm like okay god. If both my brothers are meant to be taken because in my mind i was like no i already check that box i already lost a brother this doesn't happen twice in a family no like 

Rich Bennett 10:34
Yeah 

Jessie Torres 10:34
this. we had plans to speak on stage together like you know we were going to make a difference and so when i asked that question like if both my brothers are meant to be taken what is it you want with me and the the voice i heard in my head was just so you need to eat your own medicine if and i'm like i wasn't the answer i wanted but it was like if i'm going to be up here talking about bringing light into the darkest moments i need to do that right now. So in the depth of my grief and the depth of my sadness and heartbroken this i was able to understand that the depth of my pain was equivalent to the depth of my love. i was able to see my family show up in ways i've never seen i was able to see his three oldest daughters who all have different mothers who i've never met before act like they grew up together at the at the loss of their father you know i witness people posting on his instagram how he made a difference in their lives. So there was always this beauty to be found it's just sometimes when our pain feels so big 

Rich Bennett 11:33
You know 

Jessie Torres 11:33
we can't look past it but it's always there 

Rich Bennett 11:37
Wow, through all of this i mean realize you had three kids but while through all i mean all this trauma how did your kids handle everything because that that's a lot on kids 

Jessie Torres 11:51
it 

Rich Bennett 11:52
to 

Jessie Torres 11:52
is. 

Rich Bennett 11:52
take in. 

Jessie Torres 11:53
Well, the thing was is that by the time i left my marriage i was in it for 18 and a half years so my boys were 17 and a half and my daughter was 15. 

Rich Bennett 12:06
Okay, 

Jessie Torres 12:06
so i would say that period of time was the most traumatic for them. Because in the marriage i played the part i cleaned up the messes i i tried to make sure everything was okay so there would be no emotional explosions i kept the lie let's say i thought i was protecting them and i thought i was doing all this good. But what i did was normalize what we were living 

Rich Bennett 12:31
what yeah 

Jessie Torres 12:31
so when i decided i was done it was kind of like what do you mean. You always get yelled at we know that we just cover our pillow over our heads you know it's like 

Rich Bennett 12:42
yeah 

Jessie Torres 12:42
created this normalization of it and so when i felt and i felt a lot of guilt for years of pulling the rug out from under all of us because i couldn't take any i was i was dying. And that marriage so when i had that little shimmer of hope when these people were kind to me and it kind of sparked a little liquor that was left in my spirit there was across the threshold there was no going back i had to get out or i was going to die one or the other because i was willing it i was praying for it 

Rich Bennett 13:11
right. 

Jessie Torres 13:11
So in that survival it caused a lot of guilt because well i disrupted the family that i had normalized right so during that time it was very traumatic for my kids my boys were in their senior year of high school. They were trying to make it happen all of a sudden we took a twenty five hundred square foot home that we custom built and i'm having to find an apartment because i'm making eight bucks an hour back then. 

Rich Bennett 13:34
Oh wow 

Jessie Torres 13:35
you know so it was very traumatic at that time very tumultuous and now i'm trying to get my boys to get a job or you know whatever i couldn't afford to send them to college and so but they're like it's my summer and it's just it was very very tough during that time but i have to tell you again if the depth of our darkness is conversed to the height of our light. have the best relationship with my kids if there's anything that i can be massively proud of it is my relationship with them and who they are and they are three to me they're three angels this is why I give 

Rich Bennett 14:10
I 

Jessie Torres 14:10
thanks we just did a retreat for veterans with PTSD and. 

Rich Bennett 14:15
Oh wow 

Jessie Torres 14:17
non-profit organization called the illuminating collective which is incredible and with plant medicine we help them release that PTSD so they do a twenty one week program where they come in we have calls ahead of time they get off all their meds and then they come for one week intensive. We have another 12 week integration process and it's incredible and i got to do that with my three kids my my boys are musicians and they did a beautiful sound for six hours these boys played music while people were in their journey my 

Rich Bennett 14:51
seems. 

Jessie Torres 14:51
daughter 

Rich Bennett 14:52
Wow 

Jessie Torres 14:52
i mean just phenomenal i was literally i was sitting there in tears and in that moment i had so much gratitude for my ex husband. i was 

Rich Bennett 15:00
Yeah 

Jessie Torres 15:00
like you know what and the voice in my headset every part of it was worth it i'm like if this is if this is what came out. 

yeah. So 

Rich Bennett 15:18
when did you start the The Coaching part? Or were you doing already doing that? No, no, I was working in insurance. I was an accountant. Wow. Yeah, I was working on the account. 

Jessie Torres 15:35
I was in the, in the corporate world doing that, but I always knew I wanted to help. So even 

Rich Bennett 15:40
was 

Jessie Torres 15:41
though I 

Rich Bennett 15:41
yeah, 

Jessie Torres 15:42
in corporate and I was an account executive, I would take my hour lunch and I would, I would have assignments or businesses that I have to go visit. That would near the school, that was, ehm, not Compton. in the Compton area. Um, and I would 

Rich Bennett 15:58
Um. 

Jessie Torres 15:58
go down there to teach the teen girls, you know, they had, they had 

Rich Bennett 16:02
Oh, 

Jessie Torres 16:02
a workshop. So I'd go drive all the way down there from my one hour class. I was on the board of a nonprofit called Daughters of Power. And I would help them get out of, 'cause they're in, in their parents are either incarcerated or they're living with their grandparents. And so these children are very tumultuous. So I would go there for that one hour team talk 

Rich Bennett 16:21
would 

Jessie Torres 16:22
and I 

Rich Bennett 16:22
write 

Jessie Torres 16:22
to them and then I would go back to work. So I always had desire to serve. I always had this desire to help. I even volunteered for a nonprofit called so Jorn, which was to help women of domestic 

Rich Bennett 16:34
violence. Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 16:35
Before they help, they before they let you help, you have to go through their domestic violence counselor training. And I'm like, Okay, fine, sign me up. I went through that. And I, I felt to my knees crying because one of the ladies social workers as she was talking about domestic violence. I had never equated the 18 years of my marriage as domestic 

Rich Bennett 16:57
situation. 

Jessie Torres 16:59
But she literally told my story, not mine personally, but a story that was exactly like mine. And I was like, Oh my god, like domestic violence is so much broader than a man hitting a woman. There's 

Rich Bennett 17:10
Oh, yeah. 

Jessie Torres 17:11
Underneath at all. And so when I, when she described that I was like, Oh, my god, you just described my my my life. And I didn't know I didn't equate it. But so I was doing all these things. And I knew that I wanted to help. And then in my own therapy. I asked my I told my therapist, I want to do what you do, so I want to help people. That's a lot of school and a lot of time. 

Rich Bennett 17:32
I 

Jessie Torres 17:33
was back in 2006. I want to say, she said, well, you should be a coach. And I'm like, soccer coach, what are you talking 

Rich Bennett 17:40
about? 

Jessie Torres 17:42
Like it wasn't out there. They're like, it is now, you know, 

Rich Bennett 17:46
yeah, like a life coach, business coach, all that right. 

Jessie Torres 17:49
And so I looked into it. And I found a school. I'm I'm a better learner when I'm in immersed, right. So a lot of things became online. And so I found one that was half online and then half, half virtual and half on site. So I really liked that. So I chose that I went through the course and then I came on site and I fell in love with it. Because as 

Rich Bennett 18:11
right, 

Jessie Torres 18:12
coaching, you're coaching yourself. You know, so I was starting to have this mirror of my own healing. And I was like, oh my god, I loved it. So I became certified through coaches training institute. 

Rich Bennett 18:23
Oh, 

Jessie Torres 18:24
now I wanted to open up my coaching practice, but I was working full time. And I was in corporate. So I was working 10 hour days. I had clumps of hair falling out of my head, you know, with the stress because it was never enough. Now, I'm trying to open up a practice. And then my girlfriend invited me, she worked for Hughes Aircraft at the time, which is now Boeing. And she got tickets to go to UPW, which is a Tony Robbins event. 

Rich Bennett 18:48
Yes. 

Jessie Torres 18:48
And so we went and it was like, you know, burst open. Like, oh my God, like, I want to work here. So I set my sights on it and I had gone to a couple more events with my sister, with my cousin. I took my kids and I just loved it. And I applied. And I was still working, but you know, they get thousands of resumes, you know. 

Rich Bennett 19:11
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 19:11
And it wasn't until I finally after certain number of events, I kept going to the sales guys. And I'm like, Hey, I turned on my resume. But I haven't heard anything. And they're like, Oh, you need to be keep bugging. You need to keep bugging. And I'm like, I don't want to be a pest. They're like, no, you need to be a pest. I'm like, 

Rich Bennett 19:24
yeah. 

Jessie Torres 19:24
Okay. And then one of the guys said this was at the business mastery, which is a $10, 000 event. And this was after my divorce. I mean, I was turned upside down in 15 ways. I don't know what the lowest cycle scores. But that was me, you know, and this guy is like, you want to grow your coaching practice. You need to be at this event. And he convinced me that I needed to be there. But when he said $10, 000, I almost choked on my coffee. I'm like, You don't, 

Rich Bennett 19:51
uh-huh. 

Jessie Torres 19:52
yeah, like, I'm upside down and dead, I've had homes foreclosed, cars repode. I mean, I'm just like, there's no flip and away. And he just said you know if I can help you find the money, would you do it? And I'm like, well, yeah. And so he sat there with me, I didn't consider my 401k. 

Rich Bennett 20:20
Yeah, 

Jessie Torres 20:21
Because I put those in there. I mean, I literally gave him everything. And uhm, then I might look, I gave you everything I've got. I cannot afford a room at the Bellagio where this event is. 

Rich Bennett 20:31
good 

Jessie Torres 20:32
You're 

Rich Bennett 20:32
Lord. 

Jessie Torres 20:32
going to have to help me find a room because I can't afford it. And so he's like, okay, let me get to work on that while he was doing that. It was in Vegas, I lived in California at the time. So I'm like, okay, so I could drive there. I'm like, let me see where the 24 hour fituses are near the Bellagio. And so I googled it and I got a week free pass. So I was going to drive there, sleep in my car and shower at the gym. That was my plan. 

Rich Bennett 20:58
Oh, wow. Wow! 

Jessie Torres 21:00
We got the last minute he called me back and he said, you know what? I got a double bed in my room, I called my wife, she's okay with it. If you don't mind, we're hardly in the room anyway. And I'm like, 

Rich Bennett 21:09
right. 

Jessie Torres 21:09
Awesome. So I didn't have to sleep in my car, but I 

Rich Bennett 21:11
for 

Jessie Torres 21:11
was ready 

Rich Bennett 21:12
it. 

Jessie Torres 21:14
But then what was great is that when I got there, one of the sales guides goes, well, you know, the director of coaching is here, and I'm like, he is, and I could not remember his name. I was like, Mark von something. So I was looking at everybody's name tag. This is a six-day event, right? So I'm at day four and I'm looking at everybody's trying to find this guy, just so that I can kind of like, say, hey, I sent you my resume, right? And so now I'm walking around its lunchtime, and I'm like, I can't afford freaking food at the Vologio. So I walked out and I'm looking for it, and I found this little cafe and had $10 salads, and I'm like, okay, I could do this. So I get in line. 

Rich Bennett 21:50
Sometimes that's the best food. 

Jessie Torres 21:52
It's true, yeah. But what was great as I'm standing in line, and then I hear this conversation, they're talking about the event. So again, my eyes are now conditioned to look at name tags, and I'm like, I think that's him. I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, and I'm like, back then, I'm shy. I'm introverted. 

Rich Bennett 22:08
-- 

Jessie Torres 22:08
I don't But I'm at a Tony Robbins event, so in my mind, I'm like, step up, Jesse, 

Rich Bennett 22:13
up. Right, 

Jessie Torres 22:13
step I'm totally mind-setting my way into this, and I finally walk up, and I interrupt the conversation, and I'm like, excuse me. Sorry to interrupt. My name is Jesse Torres. I sent you my resume, you know? And he kindly -- he said, he goes, I remember you. You speak Spanish, don't you? And I said, yes, I do. We talked for like 20 

Rich Bennett 22:30
years. Wow. 

Jessie Torres 22:31
And he said, "I will call you." And he said, he did, true to his word. 

Rich Bennett 22:35
So, you impressed him before you even went up there and interrupted him. 

Jessie Torres 22:39
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 22:40
That's good. 

Jessie Torres 22:41
Yeah. So the rest of his history I became a Tony Robbins coach for seven years, and it's been my own evolution of like really wanting to serve humanity and my own transformation. And 

Rich Bennett 22:52
Right. 

Jessie Torres 22:52
I've done, you know, I've apprenticed with a shaman for a year. I've gone to India, got meditation instructor, I'm a heart-mouth trainer. I've all these things. But what I want your audience to know, nothing has taught me. Like, my PhD is in my life. 

Rich Bennett 23:05
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 23:05
And what I lived. It's in what I faced off with. It's in what I healed. It's in what I was willing to do to create grit. Because I was scared, I was terrified of everything. When I got divorced at 38, I'm like, I'm like literally bambi in the woods, freaky. I don't 

Rich Bennett 23:20
know 

Jessie Torres 23:20
which way is right. I had to buy a Thomas guide back then, because map course was just coming out, you know, to figure out how to drive out of my own city, because that's how kept I was. 

Rich Bennett 23:30
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 23:30
You know, so I was afraid of everything. So I didn't know, but in an unconscious way, I started to put things in front of me that scared me. If they scared me, I was a yes to it. Because I knew I had to build muscle to move. Tears. And I didn't know I was developing grit at the time. But when I decided that I wanted to serve and not work for Tony and not work for anybody but actually developed my own program, I had to look at what, how did I get here? Because now I see through the lenses when I work with people. I'm like, how do you not see your own beauty? And I thought to myself when I said that to my face, I'm like, but you didn't back then, Jesse. 

Rich Bennett 24:07
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 24:07
You lived in shame. You thought you were filthy. You thought you were damaged goods and no one would love you. So you need to go back and you need to see what was it that got you here. And from that, I developed my, my 12 week program. 

Rich Bennett 24:21
See, and you said something that my listeners need to remember. Everybody needs to remember. You lived it all which, that's what makes you such a great coach. And we talk about this, when we talk about addiction, your peer recovery specialist are in recovery themselves. That's why they are perfect at it because they've done it. If you've lived something, It's a lot easier for you to talk to other people that are going, you know, going through it. Um, uh, it's, yeah, I mean, to me, just makes sense. I gotta ask you this though. Okay. 

I had to get it made up now, fear, sprays on a shirt for 

Jessie Torres 25:20
Oh, I 

Rich Bennett 25:21
her. 

Jessie Torres 25:21
love it. I'll have to send you a t-shirt. Um, you know, it embodies the masculine feminine bodies the two energies that we all live with. Every single one of us has masculine and feminine within us. There's a core of who we are. Like, I'm feminine at my core, but I can access my masculine, my fierceness, my mama bear energy. And so it's literally a dance between both of those and when we can create balance around that, we can enter our greatest power. And so it's, like, how do we show up in fierceness, mama bear protector energy or for a man, their fierceness protector energy, right? It's that 

Rich Bennett 26:03
stuff. 

Jessie Torres 26:03
beautiful 

Rich Bennett 26:03
Mm-hmm, 

Jessie Torres 26:04
is a warrior doesn't just hunt to kill what's in front of him. He hunts to protect what's behind him. Right. And that to me is a heart-centered warrior that is coming from the feminine part that wants to care and protect, but is a warrior and will come in and hunt and kill because that's what they're made for. Right. So, so it's a beautiful balance of both. And I think that when we heal our traumas, we're able to flow between both because it's not one or the other. It's the 

Rich Bennett 26:32
Right. 

Jessie Torres 26:32
flow of both. And so how do we bring that fierceness to our lives to tackle our limitations, to move through fear, to move through challenges, and how do we do it with such grace and such love, that we're amplifying our, we're, we're evolving our own spirit, because I think that when we evolve, and when we fall in love with ourselves, we see humanity through a different set of lenses. And now all we want to do is give back. 

Rich Bennett 27:00
I love that. I saw that it's like fierce grace. I just, 

Jessie Torres 27:07
it 

Rich Bennett 27:07
just clicked with me right away. It's like, I don't know what it is, but I just love the name of it. And that's one of the, of course, that's one of the things you have. And what was the other thing you said, a 12? Not the 12 step program, but well, like a 12. 

Jessie Torres 27:20
12 week, 

Rich Bennett 27:22
12 week program. 

Jessie Torres 27:23
yeah. 

Rich Bennett 27:23
Okay. Now what's what's involved with the 12 week program? 

Jessie Torres 27:27
Well, the 12 week program is my 20 years of experience in, 

Rich Bennett 27:31
okay, 

Jessie Torres 27:32
to help you alchemize your pain, right, whatever you've been through, and here's the thing. And sometimes people think, well, I don't have any trauma. Had great upbringing. My parents were awesome. Blah 

Rich Bennett 27:41
blah. 

Jessie Torres 27:41
blah, 

Rich Bennett 27:41
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 27:42
Every one of us, what we need to understand, my definition of trauma is, of course, it's all the big things, right? It's rape. It's all these things. But trauma really is whatever the child made meaning of in the moment of the experience. And what that means is, as children, we have an unconscious conditioning that's creating a meaning from what happens to us. So I use the simple example of a little boy at the grocery store with his mom. He's playing in the aisle with toys. Mom goes to the end of the aisle to grab something. She can see him, but he can't see her. So he lifts up his head and he screams, "Mom, where are you? Right?" and she's like, "I'm right here. It's seconds." No... 

Rich Bennett 28:21
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 28:22
No maldoing, but to the child, he anchors, "I could be left behind." I could be abandoned. 

Rich Bennett 28:29
Right. 

Jessie Torres 28:29
So now he's clinging when mom leaves the room, or when she goes to the store without him. He wants her with him all the time, because his unconscious mind created an anchor that says, "I could be left behind." Now he's 35 years old and wonders why he can't keep a relationship because he's controlling Jealous and insecure. And it all stems from that moment like I could be left behind. So now it's not the mom, now it's the girlfriend. She could leave me any moment and she probably will, so he's controlling and wants to keep it tight. And he doesn't know it's from that moment in the grocery store. 

Rich Bennett 29:00
Right. 

Jessie Torres 29:00
Because it was an unconscious conditioning. So the outcome of fierce graces like, "I always start with where is limitation in the now? I'm not trying to dig up problems, but I do understand that as human beings it could have been a teacher that handed you a test that you didn't do so well at, 

Rich Bennett 29:16
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 29:16
and just literally muttered out of his voice like, "You're going to have a rough life." Just that and started a microchip in your brain that says, "Oh, the teacher says, "I'm going to have a rough life." And you live with that in your unconscious, so you attract people's situations into your world that will make that true. And so again, it's like sometimes we don't know to know. So I have three levels of trauma. One is undiagnosed. We don't know, like, he didn't know that was a trauma moment for him. Number two is unignolaged. Meaning, like, my ex-husband and I, my ex-husband, he came from a very alcoholic mother, very brutal out... ...who came from the sexual abuse of my father. So we knew our big traumas, but when we got married, we didn't understand all the micro traumas underneath that. 

Rich Bennett 30:02
I 

Jessie Torres 30:03
learned how to keep the peace, because my dad didn't punish me when he didn't get his way, he punished my mom and my brother. So as a child, I learned to acquiesce to the pain so others don't get hurt, so I brought that into the marriage, right? So now it's like, oh, if he's gonna get mad, 'cause he can't find his comb, I need to buy 10 combs to have his backup, so he doesn't go into a fit of rage, right? So this is the pattern I learned. I didn't know. It was unignolaged trauma. And then the third one is unresolved. Unresolved trauma. It's traumas that we have not dealt with. We think we've forgiven, but we really haven't. 

Rich Bennett 30:36
Right. 

Jessie Torres 30:36
I had a gentleman who said, no, I don't care anymore. So that to him was I forgave her, I doesn't matter to me, my mom lists three blocks from me, I never see her, it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect me anymore. I don't care. And they equate that to healing. 

Rich Bennett 30:51
Mmm. 

Jessie Torres 30:51
And it's not so. That I don't care energy 

Rich Bennett 30:55
Mmm. 

Jessie Torres 30:55
is that shut off or armor around our heart that we've built that says, I've learned to not care about it anymore. But deep inside you care, and remember forgiveness isn't for them. It's for us. 

Rich Bennett 31:07
Right. 

Jessie Torres 31:08
Right. And so those are the kind of things people don't understand. So when they come to me, I don't talk about any of that. I talk about, where are you limited right now? Where are you not having conversations in your relationship? Where are you not asking for the promotion? Where are you not feeling confident? What is the thing today that has you stuck? And every time, whatever is causing limitation has a thread of connection to something in the past where there was a meaning made, right? I work with high achievers all the time. They don't realize that they're chasing worthiness on their next achievement. 

Rich Bennett 31:42
Mmm. 

Jessie Torres 31:43
And so it's never enough. So they have the cars, the boats, the house and all of that, and they still feel empty. 

Rich Bennett 31:49
Right. 

Jessie Torres 31:49
Because it's tied to something deeper. 

Rich Bennett 31:52
You're listening to conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

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Jessie Torres 33:26
very much. 

Rich Bennett 33:26
And do you teach them that as well? How to forgive 

Jessie Torres 33:29
definitely. 

Rich Bennett 33:30
Okay. 

Jessie Torres 33:31
I have a four step process and I believe that true forgiveness comes when you find the gift in the pain. So if you go back to a moment in time, I'll use myself as an example, you know, true forgiveness is recognizing that when I was a little girl and I used to build traps to warn me when my dad was coming into my room. 

Rich Bennett 33:52
Oh, 

Jessie Torres 33:53
I didn't stop him, but somehow it made me feel better that I would look at that. And like you just said, Oh, wow, like that's tragic. Right. A little girl has to do that. 

Rich Bennett 34:01
yeah. 

Jessie Torres 34:02
But now what I'm witness to is a very courageous little girl, a very resourceful little girl, a very creative little girl. Both are true. This one makes me sad and hurt and upset and angry. And this one makes me fall in love with her. Right. Both are available. So when I find the gift because in my pain and in my suffering and in my fear of him coming into my room, I developed a muscle of courage, I developed a muscle of resourcefulness, I developed a muscle that I didn't know I was going to need 20 years later when I was getting divorced. 

Rich Bennett 34:33
Right. 

Jessie Torres 34:33
Right. So I always say if God could whisper, you'd say, I know this really sucks right now, but if you knew why I need you to build this resilience, you'd understand. So you go through it. So now I'm witness to the child not as the victim, but as the beautiful, perseverant little angel that made me who I am today. So I can't unsee that now. So when I'm able to pull that gift, I can truly forgive because now I see it all as a divine choreography, right? Maybe my, 

Rich Bennett 35:02
yeah, 

Jessie Torres 35:02
odd was that I find forgiveness and we don't just get forgiveness. We have to things to forgive or people to forgive. 

Rich Bennett 35:11
I want to go back a while too, you know, speaking of God, when you lost your brother and you basically gave up on God, and then you saw him. Do you think 

at that time and from, from then to now you have learned to actually listen to God more than even see it with your Catholic upbringing? 

Jessie Torres 35:41
1,000. 

Rich Bennett 35:41
And how to talk to him as well? 

Jessie Torres 35:43
1,000%. I honestly, I went to Catholic school. I went to Catholic church. 

Rich Bennett 35:51
1,000%. 

Jessie Torres 35:51
High school, I went to public high school, but I don't remember the lessons. I remember Father daily being drunk on a Sunday on the, on the grass campus. 

Rich Bennett 36:01
What? 

Jessie Torres 36:02
Yeah. So, you know, that's my memory of 

Rich Bennett 36:05
it's 

Jessie Torres 36:05
that. Well, 

Rich Bennett 36:06
that wine. It's that wine. 

Jessie Torres 36:08
Yeah. You know, I honor and respect 

Rich Bennett 36:10
every. Wow. 

Jessie Torres 36:11
Everybody's faith. But for me, and I think also working with Plant Medicine and some of the work that I did through being an apprentice for shamanism is where I feel I have met God. 

Rich Bennett 36:25
But 

Jessie Torres 36:25
at least the essence of what it must be, I don't know. I can't definitively say I met God, but I met an enormous amount of 

Rich Bennett 36:33
love. Mm-hmm. 

Jessie Torres 36:35
The action that in the moment I felt unworthy. I'm like, who am I to feel this magnificence? But I knew better. So, as I felt unworthy, I just said, thank you, thank you, thank you. And the more I felt into that feeling that omnipotence of love. And I walked out of that going, why me? How come I 

Rich Bennett 36:54
fill 

Jessie Torres 36:54
that? Who am I? And I went through all of that within myself. The message I got was that I can have this feeling always. 

Rich Bennett 37:03
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 37:04
And I was just given the taste of it. And that my mission in life is to help others feel that is to bring an ayahuasca experience without the medicine. How can I do that? How can I bring people to this connection to that omnipotence to fall in love with the essence of who we are, the divinity, the perfection that God created us to be? How do I bring them back to the innocence of a child? 

Rich Bennett 37:26
Mm-hm. 

Jessie Torres 37:26
And that's my purpose. 

Rich Bennett 37:28
Did you also find that you love yourself more as well? 

Jessie Torres 37:32
Of course. I had to honor that if I got that experience, I need to do something with it. And I connect very much to the spirit part of me. 

Rich Bennett 37:42
So, 

Jessie Torres 37:43
I fall in love with the human parts that went through the pain, that got knocked down, that got back up throughout all those years. And I'm like, Oh, I get you now. I see you through divine lenses, right? Even in one of my experiences, I always tell my children, I wish you could see yourself through my lenses. And in one of my journeys, I heard like, I don't know, the voice of God, whatever. And... 

Rich Bennett 38:07
Right. 

Jessie Torres 38:07
The voice said, Do you know why you say that? And, and you know, like, see through my lenses, because that's me speaking to you. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, my God. Yeah, it's exactly. I felt like that. Oh, my God. Like, to see myself through God's lenses, 

Rich Bennett 38:24
yeah. 

Jessie Torres 38:24
And I started to write down, if God walked into the room right now, how would I hold myself? How would I see myself? How would I was like, and I just started writing, writing, writing. 

Rich Bennett 38:32
Wow. 

Jessie Torres 38:33
OK. 

Rich Bennett 38:34
That's a good exercise to do, too, 

Jessie Torres 38:36
though. Yeah. Yeah. Very. 

Rich Bennett 38:40
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know what I'm doing when we're finished. Wow. That is, I'm blown away by that. Actually, have you, you mentioned books, but have you actually written one yet? 

Jessie Torres 38:57
It's in the works. 

Rich Bennett 38:58
OK. 

Jessie Torres 38:58
The works. It's coming. It's about half written. 

Rich Bennett 39:02
A memoir? 

Jessie Torres 39:05
No. It's more of To help people. Right? So it's 

Rich Bennett 39:09
a. 

Jessie Torres 39:09
a 

Rich Bennett 39:09
OK. 

Jessie Torres 39:10
part of it is my journey. So people understand it. And then how can we move through? Right? So how do you take 

Rich Bennett 39:16
Right. 

Jessie Torres 39:16
your essence, your story, and how do you, because it doesn't matter, honestly, and no offense to anybody. I know everybody's situation is unique. But it doesn't matter the trauma. 

Rich Bennett 39:27
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 39:27
Matters is you are a beautiful soul made in Divinity, and we need to understand that what happens to us is the adversity. Let's just say we wrote a contract with God. And some people would say, what do you mean? I lost my child. How is that God's word? That's not OK. Right? But take John Walsh, the guy who invented America's most wanted. 

Rich Bennett 39:47
Yes. 

Jessie Torres 39:47
Right, so he saved thousands on the cusp of the murder of his son, 

Rich Bennett 39:54
Adam. Mhm. 

Jessie Torres 39:55
Right, so what if Adam was a beautiful little angel that came here for six years to be the catalyst of his father's awakening because God knew John would save the many. 

Rich Bennett 40:06
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 40:08
Right, so I don't say it right or wrong, it just is. I don't blame God. I understand there's a bigger picture happening. There's a bigger divinity happening. And if we needed to save the thousands and Adam needed to be that, that angel to leave this earth in 16, 

Rich Bennett 40:26
mm-hmm, 

Jessie Torres 40:26
go back home to God so that John can save the many on this planet than so be it. 

Rich Bennett 40:34
Yeah. I, I think a lot of people for... They forget to look at that, they're quick to blame God for any things that happen. I, I mean, I did the same thing, you know, 

Jessie Torres 40:49
Right. 

Rich Bennett 40:49
when we lost our daughter, I was the same way. 

Jessie Torres 40:51
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 40:52
But you gotta, I've always believed that, especially after that. He does things for a reason and it's for the better. 

Jessie Torres 41:01
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:01
And I, I think that's one of the reasons I do this today is to help other people. You know, otherwise God only knows what it is. Well, yeah, he would only know what it is, but. One of the things I, I love to hear from people, especially somebody like yourself, can you share either one or two feel good stories about somebody that you have helped out with the coaching and everything else that you've done? 

Jessie Torres 41:32
One of the greatest compliments I got and it was, she had sent it to me in a message. And 

Rich Bennett 41:37
was, 

Jessie Torres 41:37
it it was at a moment where I really needed to hear it, you know, it's like, we don't do it for validation, but it was really nice to have that feedback. 

I had been coaching her and I'd been coaching her not only with her mindset, but also how to grow her business. And, and she wanted, she was being a coach for other women. And so I was helping her get, get past her own fears and her own, like, I'm doing this, you know. And I was helping her through it and I was also doing coaching or whatever. And then one day I got this message and she goes, "Jesse, I want you to know that I was, I was in my group calls with my clients. And I was serving them in this one lady she had, she told this whole story of this lady and she goes, and it stopped me in my tracks for a moment and I realized, I'm their Jesse." And it was like the biggest compliment because I was like, oh my gosh, like, so she had honored me as her coach and she realized in that moment that she was being the me in their lives. And it was the biggest compliment. I was just like, oh my gosh, thank you. She goes, I'm their Jesse. I just started bawling. I was like, see her awakening, right? And her coming home to herself and her falling in love, there's a, there's a a weighted energy that drops from the cheekbones where you, you feel that healing coming in 

Rich Bennett 42:53
feel 

Jessie Torres 42:53
and you 

Rich Bennett 42:54
the 

Jessie Torres 42:55
resonance of self-acceptance. And it's the most beautiful gift I could ever have when I see my clients thrive or I see them giving back, it's just brings so much joy to my heart. 

Rich Bennett 43:06
And you have clients basically throughout the world, right? 

Jessie Torres 43:09
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 43:09
So you, all right, good. So anybody can contact you. It doesn't matter where they're at. 

Jessie Torres 43:14
Absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 43:15
All right. Before I get it to that part, I have to ask you this too. What is the, the tender warrior, Cheekas? 

Jessie Torres 43:26
Thank you for bringing that into 

Rich Bennett 43:28
me. 

Jessie Torres 43:29
It is, it is a mastermind for women. 

Rich Bennett 43:32
Oh, I love it. 

Jessie Torres 43:34
And to me, it's the bridge between love and business. So how do we remember that love is the game, right? For many 

Rich Bennett 43:47
years, 

Jessie Torres 43:48
I was, I was told, you know, love is nice, Jesse, but it doesn't pay the bills. 

Rich Bennett 43:52
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 43:52
Right. And so it was constantly shoved out. And so I bought the story. And so what was hard for me is I didn't know what to do with myself, because this is what I drive from. Now I understand and stand strong that if you don't love your clients, you won't have any. If you don't love your employees, they won't be connected to your mission. And if you don't love your family, they will leave you. So tell me it's not about love, right? So this whole life is a relationship game, whether you're going to work and in and you're working for someone, you're building relationships, you're talking on the phone. It's all a human game. So if we bring love as the forefront and we bridge the gap between business and having to grip the steering wheel and show up in your masculine and be more man than the men in the room, you got it wrong. 

Rich Bennett 44:40
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 44:40
One woman and flow walking into a corporate room of 20 men will buckle every man's knees if she does it right. Right? 

Rich Bennett 44:47
Yep. 100%. 

Jessie Torres 44:48
Thank you, 

Rich Bennett 44:48
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 44:49
right? It is the source of beauty and magnificence and we've lost our way. So how do we as women put down the masculine mask? I get why we did it. We wanted to prove we could do it all, but now we've tipped the scales and we have a lot of exhausted women that don't know how to put down. They're afraid they've been hurt before I get it so they've had to masculine up in order to survive, but now they don't know how to put it down and they're exhausted and they either attract hyper hyper masculine men in their inauthenticity or they they find pleasers. 

Rich Bennett 45:23
Yeah, 

Jessie Torres 45:23
pleasers are great because they do the laundry but there's no polarity. And then they don't find themselves happy again. So it's time to come together and take off all the masks, take down all the armors and step into our flow and step into the power of the feminine and lead with that knowing that we can bring our masculine to take care of the kids and take them to school, but that we can come back to our flow and recognize that it is the super power. 

Rich Bennett 45:49
How long have you been doing that, the Attender Warrior Chicas, 

Jessie Torres 45:53
that for probably three years. 

Rich Bennett 45:55
Three years? Okay. Now is that the only mastermind group that you have? 

Jessie Torres 45:59
No, I have I have another one. 

Rich Bennett 46:01
Oh, Jesse, I'm loving this. I am a big fan of mastermind groups. I think it's I think it's missing too many people are focused on networking and not the mastermind groups, but I'm sorry. Go ahead. 

Jessie Torres 46:13
Yeah, there's another one called army of angels and 

Rich Bennett 46:16
oh, 

Jessie Torres 46:17
it is for leaders. It is for it has a philanthropic hook to it. About the me we they, so meaning you come into the mastermind, we talk about you, where in your pie of life, are you not at a 10, let's help you get there. Let's make sure that you're sovereign, that you're strong, that you're standing strong. Let's create leaders in the world that are out on the front lines, then we go to the we concept, which is how do we come together now as a sovereign being and how do we give back to the world. And what I mean by that is not writing a check to the make a wish foundation. Now it's more about boots on ground meaning. you know in Lehane, and when we had the fires, how do we send 10 people out there to sweep the floors, you know, like, how do we boots on ground start to help humanity move forward, and then the day part is we actually go out there and do it. And maybe it's sitting with the veteran that doesn't have family right and reading with them or 

Rich Bennett 47:10
Yeah, 

Jessie Torres 47:10
whatever, there's so many different ways that we can serve. And then from that, we develop leaders that are out there on the front lines doing that kind of work. And then there's a nonprofit called everyday heroes among us. Now we start to showcase the everyday hero, the one who, you know, takes a cup of coffee and a donut to the little old lady that doesn't have family every weekend. Like they don't expect anything in return. How do we showcase them and how do we, the forefront and help them, you know, pay for their kids college or buy them a car if they needed or whatever. How do we give back to those everyday heroes? 

Rich Bennett 47:43
First of all, thank you for that because, where do you find the time because how many different nonprofits are you doing things with? 

Jessie Torres 47:52
Well, I'm no longer on the board of daughters of power. 

Rich Bennett 47:55
Okay. 

Jessie Torres 47:55
I'm now working with the illuminating collective, which is for the veterans 

Rich Bennett 47:59
Yes. 

Jessie Torres 47:59
and that is so rewarding, just being able to see these guys let their guard down for the first time. Get off their meds and step into life. You know, it's beautiful. 

Rich Bennett 48:11
And with them because that's when you first mentioned the, um, the plant, not plant therapy, the 

Jessie Torres 48:17
medicine. 

Rich Bennett 48:18
Plant medicine. Well, technically, I guess 

Jessie Torres 48:20
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 48:20
you could say plant therapy too. Explain to everybody what that is, because I know how some people you say plant therapy right away. They think marijuana. 

Jessie Torres 48:29
Right. 

Rich Bennett 48:31
Yes. 

Jessie Torres 48:31
Yeah. I totally got it. I was that person. 

Rich Bennett 48:34
Right. 

Jessie Torres 48:35
What is this? You know, I would always always with caution. 

Rich Bennett 48:39
Mm 

Jessie Torres 48:39
It is, um, underneath the nonprofit. So it's totally legal. 

Rich Bennett 48:43
hmm. 

Jessie Torres 48:43
Um, how they've done it. And, and studies, if you look at MDMA, there's a movie called, um, how to change your mind. Um, and it talks about all these medicines and it just exemplifies. MDMA is a medicine that's using therapeutic settings. 

Rich Bennett 48:59
Okay. 

Jessie Torres 48:59
It's a heart opener. So it softens your heart. So when you think about for veterans, you know, they've been talked to move away from emotion. Don't feel because 

Rich Bennett 49:05
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 49:05
out there, you got to handle things. You can't freaking. You know, you could have a six-year-old that has a bomb strapped around them, and you need to be prepared to do something. 

Rich Bennett 49:12
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 49:13
You can't go into your heart thinking that because that kid will kill 

Rich Bennett 49:16
people. 

Jessie Torres 49:16
50 

Rich Bennett 49:16
Mm hmm. 

Jessie Torres 49:17
I mean, and it's hard. So these guys come out and now you want them to be dads and you want them to be functional and it's like really hard because they've moved away from that. So MDMA helps soften some of that and opens them up. Silasibin is more of a psychedelic that allows you to get shown a different reference point. So you're not living in that contraction and the hypervigilance and you're able to release the resistance. And so in a therapeutic setting, it's very, very healing because it 

Rich Bennett 49:45
Right. 

Jessie Torres 49:45
breaks through barriers that the conscious mind is afraid to let down because they've been taught out of it. And so it's a beautiful setting and then there's also, I've again is now a new, a new one that's been introduced and that one is specific for addiction. 

Rich Bennett 50:00
one. 

Jessie Torres 50:01
That 

Rich Bennett 50:01
A really? 

Jessie Torres 50:01
Yeah, it's specific to help you get out of addiction because a lot of these vets they either have injuries or whatever and they're, they're hooked on the pain killers. 

Rich Bennett 50:10
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 50:10
Or, you know, or things to make them aderol go to sleep or whatever, you know, all these different things that are causing them to feel more dysfunction. They take one medicine medication and they have to take another to help with the side effects of the medication they took before that and it's just a vicious cycle. So they have all these SSRIs and they, they want to get off them. But in order to do that, they have to face off with some of the things that they've experienced and that feels too confronting. So the medicine just helps soften that, helps soften the edges of that, create an opening. But that's not enough. And this is where I come in because it's not just about opening that door. Once it's, 

Rich Bennett 50:51
yeah. 

Jessie Torres 50:51
What do you do with it? And how do you now integrate it into your life? And so what's happening with plant medicine and, and it's, it's heartbreaking for me to see is that it gets taken out of control. People are wanting weekend trips that this is not something to fool around with. These are plants that were on our planet placed by God that are helping us heal. It's, it's really quite marvelous when you think about it. But 

Rich Bennett 51:15
better than that chemical stuff. 

Jessie Torres 51:16
Hell, yeah, right. And so that's the thing. It's like this is not about a weekend trip, this is about healing. This is about utilizing what God has given us to find our way back home to 

Rich Bennett 51:26
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 51:26
ourselves. Right? And so under the correct context and under therapeutic settings, it's massively fast tracks. I've had, I've heard veterans at an Ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica who he, it's just like it tears you up because you hear him at, at integration afterwards after the four days. And he said 23 years of therapy did not do what I just got in four days. 

Rich Bennett 51:56
Wow. 

Jessie Torres 51:57
And when you hear that, you're just like, I'm just like, oh my God, we need to bring this more and more because 

Rich Bennett 52:02
Yeah. 

Jessie Torres 52:02
if we can fast track that healing, then we can help people and help them heal now. And when we do that, a healed society creates healed individuals. Right now we have a very wounded society, a very victim minded society. And they want us to stay there because then we get addicted to the pharmaceuticals, which is a multi trillion dollar freaking 

Rich Bennett 52:24
Exactly. 

Jessie Torres 52:24
it. Right? So they don't want us healing. That's why this gets shut down, but more and more it's becoming legal. I think psilocybin is legal in Colorado. Right? This is legal because it's done under the, under the nonprofit for the healing purposes. 

Rich Bennett 52:40
Right. What do you think about it? You go back in time. I mean, Chinese medicine, that's what it was. It was plants, the different teas, 

Jessie Torres 52:49
Right? 

Rich Bennett 52:49
you know, how it helps with thing. Native Americans were the same way. 

Jessie Torres 52:53
Very much. 

Rich Bennett 52:54
You weren't taking chemicals, but you're right. It's because of the, it's a whole other podcast but your, the, it's the pharmaceutical companies control everything. 

Jessie Torres 53:03
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 53:04
We all know, hopefully we all know that, yeah, the plant medicine does wonders, always has, always will. You're like the tapping and all these other different things that can help out with you. I mean, I gotta be on the verge of freaking tears before I even pop a motrin. and I want to, I think more veterans need to look into this, I take that back. More veterans just need to contact you so they can go through this program 

Jessie Torres 53:38
100% 

Rich Bennett 53:39
because that's one of the things when we get out of the military, at least when I was in, one of the things they do not do is train you to adapt back to civilian 

Jessie Torres 53:52
life. Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 53:54
And it's hard. 

It's very hard, especially if you've been through a lot of, well, I'm just going to say it, especially if you've been through a lot of shit. 

Jessie Torres 54:03
Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 54:03
Plain is simple. It's very hard. 

Jessie Torres 54:06
And most, 

Rich Bennett 54:06
um, 

Jessie Torres 54:07
and the 

Rich Bennett 54:07
by 

Jessie Torres 54:07
nonprofit 

Rich Bennett 54:08
yeah, 

Jessie Torres 54:08
it's created by a gentleman who he was a marine and he. you know he went through it and not only that he says you know when you see he goes this isn't a video game when you take someone's life 

Rich Bennett 54:20
it's 

Jessie Torres 54:21
it it does something to you you know and then he came out and became a firefighter and he was still he was still like now he's seeing now the difference of being out in war and he joined right before 9/11 

Rich Bennett 54:33
so 

Jessie Torres 54:33
he got deployed immediately you know and then he comes back and now he goes it's different but now you're seeing people die in their living room you know and it's just like a whole different thing and he put a gun to his mouth and pulled the trigger and it didn't go off and because of that he developed this illuminating collective so that he can help other veterans not ever have to have that moment and it's marvelous to see how many of these guys are coming out 

Rich Bennett 54:57
does he actually work with first responders too 

Jessie Torres 54:59
yep 

Rich Bennett 55:00
because okay good 

Jessie Torres 55:01
he actually it started with veterans and and first responders now it's veterans first responders and it's open to the public so it's not strictly 

Rich Bennett 55:09
oh 

Jessie Torres 55:09
for them so yeah so we we have it for for all 

Rich Bennett 55:14
which is great too because you think about you mentioned like you know with him being a firefighter and that's one of the worst things 

Jessie Torres 55:22
yeah 

Rich Bennett 55:22
just a body burned but people don't think about the family members that may have seen it as well 

Jessie Torres 55:29
very much 

Rich Bennett 55:29
you know so that's great so before I get to my last question well two things number one and there's a couple different websites so tell everybody how they can give touch with y'all 

Jessie Torres 55:41
the easiest way is to go to iamfearsgrace.com that one has all of the things that i do 

Rich Bennett 55:48
i 

Jessie Torres 55:49
because 

Rich Bennett 55:49
as 

Jessie Torres 55:50
well so if you need a speaker to come out i'm happy to do that so there's a bunch of levels i do one-on-one coaching as well as my 12 week program and all the other things so there you'll be able to click on which one works for you and if you don't know there's also a button to schedule a call with me and i'm happy to do that it's a free call it's just to be able to make an assessment to see if we're fit to work together and if not i'll direct you you know where you can find help i never take on a client that i cannot help so we'll have that conversation but i'm happy to do it it's a free like consultation if you will so if you're uncertain which direction to go just click on that button and schedule 

Rich Bennett 56:27
a call all right so before i get to my last question is there anything you would like to add 

Jessie Torres 56:34
so thank you for asking what i'd love your listeners to know is that no matter what your situation no matter what you're going through because i had this other podcast host she's amazing and she's like i like to play this game with my guests it's called the Yeah, but 

Rich Bennett 56:53
i don't know what okay 

Jessie Torres 56:56
right so i'm saying all these things she's like so yeah but just so you don't understand my pain i can't 

Rich Bennett 57:03
they 

Jessie Torres 57:04
don't deserve it it's i'm burning inside i can't get out of bed you know so she does that yeah but and i so appreciate that and so i want to with your audience if you're out there saying yeah but you don't know my 

Rich Bennett 57:19
right 

Jessie Torres 57:19
patient i'm stuck i don't have any money i can't get out the abuse is tolerable it's only on Tuesday and Wednesdays now it's not every day of the week this is what we normalize right just like no matter what your situation there is a way out and there are people that care so you're not alone only if you to be right and there's another thing that i'll give you as a gift for your audience it's called the ten step guide to freedom and what it is it's it's action that you can take right now no matter what your situation one thing that you can take i want you to believe that you can have the life of your dreams believe it because if you do believe it you will create it 

Rich Bennett 57:58
yes 

Jessie Torres 57:59
but if we start falling i can't i won't you don't understand all of those things again no matter what your right either way right was a Henry Ford that said when you say you can't your right when you say you can you're 

Rich Bennett 58:10
right 

Jessie Torres 58:11
also so decide decide and believe that if i can come out of the depth of darkness that i have so can you

Rich Bennett 58:19
so i was going to say get out of that darkness what is one regret that you learned from 

Jessie Torres 58:28
i have two 

Rich Bennett 58:29
two okay of course you can have as many as you want Jesse 

Jessie Torres 58:32
can i have 

Rich Bennett 58:33
it's your show go ahead 

Jessie Torres 58:34
because my 

Rich Bennett 58:35
it's 

Jessie Torres 58:35
true 

Rich Bennett 58:35
just my name on it 

Jessie Torres 58:38
my true belief is that everything is in divine order my true belief is that there's no wrong it happened the way it happened because that's the way it needed to happen okay so that is my belief it's all there's no wrong mistake but if i had to choose i would say that when i got out of my marriage when those people treated me kindly and it short circited me i was an emergency mode i was willing myself to die so when that happened it opened up a window for me to take action and i did 

Rich Bennett 59:09
right 

Jessie Torres 59:10
in that moment i was in massive survival if i had it to do over again i would wait to my boys graduated. they were in the middle of their senior year. It was an interruption that caused massive trauma. So again, was it wrong? I don't know who they are today are walking angels. So back then, yeah, it was very painful. It was very hard on them. So I would probably want to wait until at least they got through that year before I made that decision. In the moment I was in survival, I didn't know, I pulled the trigger because it was like, if I don't, I'm going to die here. So that the desperation was there. But if I consciously go back, I would love to do that. The second time is my little brother. I think, and this would my choke me out, I think that with as much as he had gone through and and he had brought to the family, I was always trying to help him come out of those decisions. And I didn't stop to say, just take me on a ride on your bike. He rode a motorcycle and he wheelies and he was amazing with the tricks he did. Totally dangerous. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:16
But, 

Jessie Torres 1:00:16
but what if I just entered his world? What if I just said, give me a ride, show me what you love about riding your motorcycle. And I would have loved to have had that moment of just entering his world and not always trying to help him out of it. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:35
I think he's looking down on you now and both your and how proud they are of you and how you're helping everybody. Jesse, I want to thank you so much. And thank you for everything that you're doing. Everybody you're helping. And please don't stop. Don't stop. Keep going. And God bless you. Thank you so much. 

Jessie Torres 1:00:57
I appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:59
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you can leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at Conversations with Rich Bennett dot com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care, be kind and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a lot to put a podcast together. And my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing software, the hosting and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them. And if you can please please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following. Real-life Real life prosthetics, cutting edge solutions, restoring ability since 2001. Go to reallife prosthetics dot Full com full circle boards. Nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards. Visit them at fullcircleboards dot com. Sincerely, Sincerely, Sincerely, so your photography. Live in the moment. They'll capture it. Visit them at sincerely soldier.com.